


Wrong Side of the Tracks

by VampireMadonna



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Gang AU, Jun is a sexy mofo, M/M, background meanie couple, but not the really violent kind, crimes will be minimal and behind the scenes, gang leader seungcheol, little bro Lee Chan, university student jeonghan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-13
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2018-05-13 17:17:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 107,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5710609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VampireMadonna/pseuds/VampireMadonna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jeonghan doesn't like serving drinks in the sketchiest part of town but the pay's good and a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. He'll put in his time and get on with his life as soon as he graduates. When Seungcheol walks in and immediately becomes smitten, he takes one look at him and decides that he isn't worth his time.</p><p>It's funny how quickly your mind changes when someone saves your life...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here I am, giving into temptation once again. Jeongcheol needs to leave me be dammit!
> 
> I didn't know what the hell to call this thing. The title fits but I still don't like it.

* * *

 

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

He needed money so when his best-friend Jun had offered to get him a job at the bar he worked at, he quickly accepted.

He knew the kind of place it was – Jun often told him stories and he’d visited with other friends a couple of times – so he was prepared well in advance. If it were up to him, he would finish his degree without any distractions. Work, in his mind, was a big one. However, since his parents refused to pay for his graduate degree – wanting him to go straight into the work-force after completing his Bachelors’ – he had no other choice. He could’ve worked and returned later when he could afford to pay it all himself but everyone seemed to agree that it was better to get it over and done with before seeking permanent employment. Once you stop studying for a while, it’s harder to get back into the swing of things. So they say, anyway.

So here he was, slinging drinks in a bar in the seediest part of town. The bar itself wasn’t so bad: not at all. It actually looked out of place compared to the rest of businesses in the area. That was what made it special…and what made people like him and Jun – or people who looked like them, rather – a hot commodity.

The owner and manager, Hyesung, had seen an opportunity to explore a new market and had sunk his savings into the place. Lucky for him, it had paid off.

The clientele weren’t what one might consider the most “upstanding” citizens that society had to offer but Hyesung didn’t judge, asked no questions, and so long as they treated his boys, girls and property well, he had no beef with anyone. On the off chance that someone _did_ get out of hand, the security took care of it. The _entrepreneurs_ in the area respected Hyesung and his establishment and he extended them the same courtesy.

“I think you have an admirer,” Jun sing-songed as he walked over, that insufferable smirk that Jeonghan detested curving his lips. “He’s been staring at you for the past hour. I’m not sure he’s even blinked.”

Jeonghan rolled his eyes. He was used to being stared at: his looks were what had gotten him the job in the first place, after all. _Diamond Cove_ had been set up in one of the ugliest places in the city but that was what made it stand out: Hyesung had brought beauty and class to the area. The entire staff, from the waiters and waitresses to the bartenders to the bouncers to Hyesung himself, was extraordinarily attractive. You had to be at least a 9.5/10 to get a job there. It was an unspoken rule.

Jeonghan didn’t care much about the way he looked, which wasn’t to say that he didn’t use his looks to his advantage when it suited him. It was a useful tool at times; a weapon even. A romantic entanglement was the last thing on his mind, though, and he didn’t think it professional to consort with customers so he had no interest in whoever fancied him that night. Whoever he was was just one among many admirers. Hopefully he tipped well.

“I don’t care,” he said huffily. “As you very well know.”

“Maybe you should,” Jun taunted. “He’s kind of cute.”

Jeonghan scoffed. “I doubt it.”

Now it was Jun’s turn to roll his eyes. “How would you know when you haven’t even looked at him?”

Jeonghan cocked a brow. “Because the only attractive people in here are the people who work here and I have no interest in any of them?” He posed it as a question but they both knew that it was just as much a statement. He’d said it many times before.

“The feeling’s quite mutual, I’m sure,” Jun replied, scowling slightly. “But seriously, it wouldn’t hurt you to flirt with the customers a bit. You’d get bigger tips.”

When Jeonghan’s other brow raised, because they both knew that he had no trouble in that area, Jun threw up his hands in exasperation and walked off.

Smiling to himself, Jeonghan returned to the task at hand: drying newly washed glasses.

It was about an hour later when a nervous voice hailed him.

“Hey, uh…You’re new here, aren’t you?”

Jeonghan glanced over. He’d been there for almost two months so he didn’t really consider himself new but Hyesung didn’t like it when he sassed the customers so he simply said, “Relatively.”

The guy nodded. He had dark hair, black really, with long bangs that fell into his eyes. He wore a black turtle neck beneath a black leather jacket. Jeonghan was sure that if the guy stood, he would see black denims and black boots.

_Black, black, black. The colour of his soul, perhaps?_

“Can I get you anything?” he asked politely, setting down his drying cloth.

“Um…sure.” Jeonghan reached for a glass. “If you have a drink with me.”

Jeonghan paused. “Employees aren’t allowed to drink with customers,” he said crisply. That was a blatant lie, and the guy probably knew it. Hyesung warned them about knowing their limits and not going overboard but he absolutely allowed drinking with customers. In fact, he encouraged it. If a customer thought that they had a shot with an employee, they’d likely spend even more money. The trick was in knowing how to pace one’s self. Hyesung advised them to pour smaller drinks for themselves than they did for the customers and sip slowly if possible.

The guy’s forehead wrinkled. “They aren't? I’ve seen bartenders drinking with customers before so I assumed it was fine.”

Jeonghan shrugged. “Maybe it is for them. I prefer not to drink on the job.”

“Come on. Just one, little drink.” He flashed what Jeonghan was sure he intended to be a charismatic smile, and it _was_ but Jeonghan found himself wondering what sort of business the guy was involved in. Only the sordid types frequented or inhabited that area, mostly because they worked in or around it. The guy was young, about Jeonghan’s age, and didn’t look worn out or street hardened like a lot of their regular customers did but the fact that he was even there and that other customers left him alone meant that he was familiar to the area, and comfortable in it.

Jeonghan had never seen him before, though. He had a thing for faces. He would’ve definitely remembered this guy.

“Thanks, but no thanks,” he said firmly. Raising the glass in his hand, he asked politely, “What can I get you?”

The guy practically pouted but he gave his order and Jeonghan set about making it.

As Jeonghan placed the drink on the counter in front of him, he smiled and said, “My name’s Seungcheol. Choi Seungcheol. You are?”

For a minute he considered not replying but that would be rude and if it helped him get a better tip…

“Jeonghan.”

“Jeonghan,” Seungcheol repeated. “Pretty name.”

“I know,” Jeonghan acknowledged, though he did smile slightly to soften his tone.

“Do you live around here, Jeonghan?” he, _Seungcheol_ , asked, taking a sip of his drink.

“No.”

“Where do you live, then?” Seungcheol pried.

“ _Not_ around here,” Jeonghan replied, turning his head to hide a smirk.

Seungcheol frowned slightly, dark eyes boring into the side of Jeonghan’s face for a few seconds before the clouds cleared and his lips tilted into a silly smile once more.

“Are you a university student like the others?”

“Yes.”

“What are you studying?”

Seungcheol seemed genuinely interested but Jeonghan wasn’t in the mood and he’d had enough with the Q&A.

Eyes hardening, Jeonghan turned fully towards Seungcheol. “Look…”

_“Jeonghan!”_

Jeonghan glanced in the direction of the voice to find Hyesung’s head poking out of the door to his office.

“A moment, please.”

Sighing inwardly, Jeonghan threw a _“sorry, gotta go”_ over his shoulder to Seungcheol and hurried off to see what his boss wanted.

It was probably for the best. He was pretty sure he’d been about to be _very_ rude.

_And so it began…_

 

After that first day, Seungcheol – and his boys – became a permanent fixture at the bar, particularly in Jeonghan’s corner.

The first day Seungcheol showed up with company, Jeonghan had just assumed that they were friends of his. It was their demeanor, the way they seemed to look to him for guidance – or instruction – that tipped him off that there was more going on. So one day, unable to ignore his curiosity, he gave in and asked Jun.

Apparently, Seungcheol was the leader of a gang.

Jeonghan had burst out laughing at first, unable to picture the silly guy who drooled over him every shift as some kind of evil crime-lord. Was he the leader of a group of high-schoolers or something? And what did they do: steal their classmates’ lunch money? Jeonghan was only twenty-two so if Seungcheol was his age, and his friends even younger, he couldn’t imagine what nefarious activities he could possibly get up to.

It was only when he registered the serious expression on Jun’s face that he stopped laughing.

 _“Uh…what is he into exactly?”_ he’d asked, his curiosity getting the better of him yet again.

Jun had shrugged. _“I don’t know and I don’t_ want _to know. The first thing Hyesung told me when he hired me was to keep a smile on my face and my eyes and questions to myself. The less you know, the better. They may like us, lust after us, hell they might even fall in love with us. Use that to your advantage as best you can. But at the end of the day, they are them and we are us and never the two shall meet. We don’t belong in their world and we never will. You’d do well to remember that.”_

It had been on the tip of Jeonghan’s tongue to remind Jun that _he_ was the one who’d told him to open himself up to the customers, flirt and maybe meet someone, but he’d swallowed the words. Jun wasn’t often serious so on the rare occasion that he was, Jeonghan took him at his word.

With that in mind, he continued rejecting Seungcheol’s advances, not that it deterred him in any way. By the end of the third week of their acquaintance, Jeonghan was positive that Seungcheol knew his schedule by heart.

Every night Seungcheol would sit at the bar, order the same drink and watch Jeonghan work. He would try to engage him in conversation, which Jeonghan usually ignored, and at the end of his shift, he would offer to see him home, which Jeonghan always declined.

_“At least give me a chance and get to know me before you write me off completely.”_

It was a bit too late for that, to be honest. Besides, while the bar might not be located in the safest part of the city, Hyesung was a good boss and ensured their safety both in and out of the bar, hiring taxis to see them home if they wanted so Jeonghan didn’t need Seungcheol’s protection. And what was even better was that he didn’t dock the taxi fee from their salary, which officially made him the best boss ever.

There _was_ one night that Seungcheol never came in, though.

He hadn’t thought anything of it the first time he’d noticed, nor the second, but by the third he couldn’t help but wonder what the significance of it was. For some reason, Seungcheol never came to the bar on a Friday: the second busiest night after Saturday. Whenever Jeonghan worked on a Saturday, Seungcheol was there so it definitely wasn’t the crowd.

It was intriguing but keeping Jun’s advice in mind, he never put his thoughts into words.

On one such Friday, he was waiting outside the bar for Jun after their shift. They’d declined Hyesung’s offer of a taxi in lieu of walking to the bus stop. Jun had said that he’d walked out before with other employees and that so long as they weren’t alone, once there was a group that the locals could easily recognize as being _Hyesung’s kids_ , they would be left alone.

 _“Everyone should have the experience at least once,”_ he’d told him.

It was a bit chilly and the street seemed unusually quiet. It was 3:00am and the only things scuttling about in the open were probably rats but still: the street was devoid of cars and the sidewalks were deserted. It didn’t help that the lighting in the area was shitty on a good day.

Tightening his arms around himself, he hunched inward, trying to stimulate more warmth.

Suddenly, he heard a loud clang from one dark end of the street.

Almost immediately after that, a voice from the opposite direction called, “ _Hey, pretty thing_.”

Unlike the first noise, he discovered as he swung around, the owner of the voice was a lot closer.

“If it’s money you’re after, you picked the wrong _pretty thing_ to rob,” Jeonghan bit out through clenched teeth. “This one’s broke.”

He should be terrified but he strangely wasn’t. He’d never been the type to get scared easily. If anything, he was insulted that this idiot and his hidden accomplices assumed that he or his friends were easy prey because of the way they looked. Well, little did they know that Jeonghan had taken self-defense classes to prevent such fuckery.

“Trust me, sweet thing: your money is the last thing I want.” When the man – because he was a man, obviously older than Jeonghan with a bigger, stockier build to boot – trailed his eyes over Jeonghan’s body from head to toe and back, a shiver of apprehension raced up his spine and he took an instinctive step backward.

The grin that spread across the man’s face told Jeonghan that he’d made a huge mistake. That was exactly what he’d been hoping for.

He kept coming and Jeonghan kept moving back, trying to keep some distance between them. Unfortunately, that took him away from the door to the bar and deeper into the darkness.

He should’ve just waited inside, he angrily scolded himself. He shouldn’t have sent the bouncer away when he’d offered to keep him company while he waited for Jun. Speaking of: where the fuck was Jun anyway?

Gathering his courage, Jeonghan forced his feet to stop moving, steeling himself for the assault to come. If the man didn’t want money then a physical altercation was inevitable no matter what he did.

“What do you want then?” he snapped, his training racing through his mind as he moved into a defensive stance.

The man paused for a moment, cocking his head to the side while he perused Jeonghan before crooning, “Why don’t I show you?”

Then, he lunged.

Jeonghan sent a prayer up to the heavens that his mother was paranoid by nature and had forced him to take those self-defense classes back in high-school. His movements would probably have been clumsy otherwise.

As it was, he was able to side-step his attacker and, seeing the surprise on his face, follow it with an elbow-jab to the ribs.

The man swore and listed to the side and Jeonghan took the opportunity to run back to the door to the bar. It would be unwise to continue attacking the man when he didn’t know if he carried a weapon, not to mention that he was 100% certain that there were others lurking in the shadows. It was better to get to safety at the earliest opportunity.

He’d taken about three steps, the ghost of the door-knob already within his mental grasp, when a heavy body landed on his back. He landed with an _oomph_ , the wind completely knocked out of him. Coming to his senses, he opened his mouth to cry out but an arm wound tightly around his throat before he could utter a sound, cutting off his air supply. His voice came out in strangled croaks.

He thought he heard his attacker say something but he might be imagining things. Concentration was impossible with his brain being deprived of oxygen.

As his mind grew hazier, just before he succumbed to the darkness creeping in at the edges of his consciousness, he realized that he’d made the number one, damsel-in-a-movie mistake.

He should’ve just called for help in the first place.


	2. Chapter 2

The first thing he noticed, before he even opened his eyes, was that he had a pounding headache. And his throat hurt, like someone had scraped his trachea with a Brillo pad.

He curled into the addictively soft sheets, burrowing deeper before finally opening his eyes to peek out at the world.

“He’s awake,” an unfamiliar voice said from somewhere beside him.

He dropped his arm and looked over, immediately sitting up when he realized that not only did he not know the person looking down at him but he also wasn’t in his own bed.

He immediately regretted his sudden movement when phantom glass shards dug into his skull, his hands going to his head and his eyes sliding shut as he braced against the pain.

A strong hand pressed down on his shoulder until he was flat on his back once more.

“Don’t move,” a stern voice ordered. “I’ll get you some aspirin.” Heavy feet walked away from the bed, presumably to get said aspirin.

“Who are you?” Jeonghan gritted out through clenched teeth, forcing himself to take deep breaths to help alleviate the pain. “Where am I?”

“You can relax,” a new voice assured him. “You’re among friends.”

Dropping his hands, Jeonghan cast a wary glance at the person he thought had spoken. “Friends? I’ve never seen you people in my life.”

The boy – for he certainly was a boy with his round, youthful face and a shock of bleached blond hair – glanced over at the sole other person in the room uncertainly.

“You may not know us,” the other boy spoke – this one even younger looking than the blond, his petite frame further supporting Jeonghan’s assessment – but we know you and we mean you no harm, of that you can be sure.”

Jeonghan continued to look at him wordlessly until the door opened, drawing his attention. He was pretty sure that the boy that came in this time, with a glass of water and a bottle of pills, wasn’t the same one that had left.

He handed Jeonghan the items, scrutinizing him closely as he swallowed the pills and drank the cool water. It soothed his dry throat.

“I don’t see what the big deal is,” he finally said, planting his hands on his hips as he continued to give Jeonghan the once-over. “I’ve seen better. He’s really not that pretty.”

Jeonghan almost choked on his water, barely managing to keep himself from hawking back up the gulp he’d just swallowed.

Shorty – because Jeonghan didn’t know his name and honestly didn’t care to ask – took the glass and the bottle of pills from his hands and placed them on the bedside table as Jeonghan glared at the new boy.

“What? I’m sorry if the truth hurts but…” The boy shrugged, as if to say “that’s life”.

Forcing himself to ignore the boy, Jeonghan turned to Shorty and asked, “Is there a bathroom that I can use?”

Shorty gave him a lingering look before replying, “Sure. It’s through there.” He pointed to a door over his shoulder. “We’ll be out here if you need anything. When you’re done, we’ll go outside and get everything cleared up.”

Jeonghan took his time climbing out of the bed and standing, not wanting any of the three boys to have to help him if he got dizzy and stumbled. It was bad enough that he didn’t know where he was and though they seemed harmless, he didn’t want to make himself look any weaker than he already did.

He walked slowly but steadily to the bathroom, opening and closing the door behind him without a glance at his companions. Only when he had locked the door did he allow himself to relax, leaning against it for a moment.

His head already felt clearer and his throat was thankfully not as dry now that he’d lubricated it a little. He still felt like shit, though, and a glance in the large mirror across from him told him that he looked it too.

Walking to the counter, he perused his reflection. His once pristine white shirt was now smudged with dirt, a button missing from one of the lower holes. It must have happened during the struggle. If not…well, he didn’t want to think of any other alternative. His hair was disheveled, hanging in scraggly clumps, and there were things in it; he had a scratch on his cheek and his neck was red. No lines or fingerprints, just red, almost like he’d been wearing a tightly-wrapped scarf for too long.

As far as his body went, he felt sore all over, especially around the rib area, but he’d live. Most importantly, he didn’t feel violated in any way. The aspirin was already helping to take the edge off his pain. Soon, he wouldn’t feel a thing. At least until it wore off.

Turning away from his reflection, he looked about the bathroom for signs of who it might belong to but there was nothing to give the owner’s identity away. It was a nice enough bathroom, with decent fixtures and tiling, and it was clean. That was about all he could say about it. There was no window for him to peek out of to discern where he was, which was slightly unnerving but he brushed it aside.

Getting down to business, he quickly used the toilet then washed his face, running wet fingers through his hair to untangle it as best he could. He spotted toothpaste on the side of the sink and stared at it for two seconds before reaching for it. It wasn’t as good as brushing with a toothbrush but it was still better than nothing.

When he was done, and feeling marginally more like himself, he wiped down the counter with a paper towel, tossed it, then unlocked and opened the door.

There were only two of them now: Shorty and Blondie. The loud-mouthed bitch had taken off at some point.

“He’s waiting for you,” Blondie said as he emerged.

Before Jeonghan could ask who the _he_ was that he was referring to, Blondie turned towards another door and opened it, stepping outside to keep it open with his body while extending his arm in the direction he wished Jeonghan to go.

Jeonghan cast a glance at Shorty, whose face was impassive, before taking a deep breath and proceeding.

When he stepped out of the bedroom and into the apartment, he was surprised to find that it wasn’t an apartment at all: it was a loft.

And the _he_ waiting for him was none other than Seungcheol.

“There you are,” he greeted brightly, smiling as he bit into buttered toast. “I was beginning to wonder if you’d ever wake up.”

Jeonghan, who was frozen to the spot in shock, stared at him mutely. Of all the people he could’ve expected to find when he emerged, Seungcheol had never crossed his mind. And yet, somehow, he was the only one that made sense.

“What is this place? Why am I here?” he managed to ask, finally finding his voice.

“Coffee?” Seungcheol offered, gesturing to a surprisingly dainty-looking pot.

“Answer my questions,” Jeonghan retorted coldly, eyes slowly narrowing.

Seungcheol sighed, a long-suffering sound of frustration, before standing and walking around the table, pulling out the chair opposite his. “If you would do me the honour of joining me for breakfast, I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”

Jeonghan’s gaze flit around the room, landing on each and every face staring back at him.

There were five of them in front of him, including Seungcheol: two on the couch, who he recognized as having accompanied Seungcheol to the bar a few times, one at what he assumed was the entrance of the loft and two at the table, Seungcheol and another young boy. And then there were the two behind him. Bitchy was nowhere in sight.

The odds were not in his favour, he knew. There was no way that he could take them all in a physical altercation, especially in his current state.

Wrapping his arms defensively around his middle, he walked over to the chair that Seungcheol held out for him and sat. He looked at Seungcheol expectantly as he moved around the table and slid back into his seat, ignoring his offer of coffee once more.

Sighing again, Seungcheol said, “To answer your first question, this is my place. My H.Q., if you will, but I also live here. That was my bed you were so peacefully sleeping in.”

Jeonghan’s cheeks burned at his words but he showed no reaction and didn’t respond.

“To answer your second question, my boys came upon you being attacked last night. You were unconscious and clearly in need of assistance so that’s what they did: they assisted you. After taking care of your assailant, they brought you here. And before you ask, they knew who you were because they had seen you at the bar before and knew of my interest in you. I do believe you recognize Mingyu and Wonwoo.” He gestured behind him to the two on the sofa.

For a split second, Jeonghan wondered exactly what _“take care of”_ meant but on the heels of that came the reminder that he was better off not knowing. Instead, he cocked a brow and asked, “Why didn’t they take me to the hospital? Or back inside the bar. I could’ve been seriously injured for all they knew. My friends and employer are probably wondering where I disappeared to. They may have even called the police.”

It was Seungcheol’s turn to turn red. “Okay, so my boys may not be the brightest. They thought no further than getting you to safety. There are very few places safer than here.”

Jeonghan gave him a skeptical look but said nothing. Instead, he picked up a teacup, as dainty as the matching pot, and poured himself some coffee. He schooled his features as the acrid bitterness of the black sludge burned down his throat. He didn’t usually drink coffee, certainly not black or without cream and sugar, but the caffeine would help keep him awake and alert until he got home.

“How are you feeling?” Seungcheol asked, expression suddenly serious and tinged with concern.

“I’ll live.” Jeonghan drained the cup and set it down on the table. He glanced at his wrist out of habit but his watch wasn’t there. He was pretty sure he’d been wearing it last night, though. Looking up at Seungcheol, eyes accusatory even if he kept it out of his voice, he asked, “What time is it?”

Seungcheol glanced at one of his minions, Blondie, who disappeared into the bedroom and returned with a familiar satchel. “You’ll find that everything is there, at least as of when we found you. We took off your watch because we thought you’d rest better without it. I personally placed it in the small front pocket. And to answer your question, it’s 7:45. _AM_.”

Jeonghan resisted the urge to thoroughly search his bag to make sure that nothing was missing but true to Seungcheol’s word his watch, along with his phone and wallet, was in the front pocket of his bag. A brief flip through his wallet revealed that everything was in order: no missing cards or cash.

“Thanks,” he said grudgingly.

“My pleasure.” Seungcheol tilted his head to the side. “I wish you’d realize that my interest in you is sincere, Jeonghan. I wish you’d trust me just enough to get to know me better so that you’d no longer have these doubts.”

Jeonghan scoffed. “Forgive my hesitation in bestowing trust upon someone who’s admittedly, and publicly, involved in criminal activities. And who drags children into said activities, Jesus, Seungcheol.”

Seungcheol’s eyebrows disappeared into his bangs. “There are no children here, I assure you. Everyone’s over eighteen. Well, except Chan but he’s my brother.” He flashed a smile at the other occupant of the table. The small, dark-haired boy had been silent thus far and Jeonghan had forgotten that he was even there.

Unconsciously, Jeonghan cast a disbelieving look over his shoulder. Seungcheol burst out laughing.

“Jihoon-ah, that baby face of yours is fooling people again.”

_Jihoon_ , formerly known as Shorty, allowed a smirk to tilt the corner of his lips but showed no reaction otherwise.

“Believe it or not, he and I are the same age,” Seungcheol said conversationally.

“And that would be…?” Jeonghan still wasn’t sure he believed him.

“How old are you?” Seungcheol asked instead.

A pensive line formed between his brows. “Twenty-three.”

Seungcheol pointed at himself with his thumb. “Twenty-five.” He moved his thumb-pointer in Jihoon’s direction. “Twenty-five.”

Was the kid a vampire or something? It was almost freaky how child-like he looked. It probably served them well in their illegal activities.

_Which reminded him…_

“Well,” he began, rising to his feet. “I’d better get going.”

“What?” Seungcheol jumped up, expression slightly wounded. “I thought we could have breakfast together.”

“Sorry.” Jeonghan hoped that he didn’t sound insincere. He wasn’t ungrateful; he just really wanted to go home. It didn’t matter that Seungcheol and his boys had saved him; he’d been trying to keep his distance since he’d met the guy and the best way to do that was to not act indebted to them. To make sure that Seungcheol knew that nothing had changed. “I’ve got class and I need to call my friends and my boss and let them know that I’m alive and relatively unscathed.”

“But…”

“Seungcheol.” He strove for patience, not always his most abundant quality, before continuing. “I’m grateful, really I am. To all of you. But I need to get back to my life. I need…” He trailed off. He wasn’t often at a loss for words. How did he say that he needed to feel safe without making himself vulnerable? Because that was what it came down to. He needed the comfort of the familiar and Seungcheol and his group were the opposite of that. He didn’t and would never feel safe there. He didn’t want to offend them by saying it but it didn’t make it any less true.

“I understand,” Seungcheol said, surprising him. Looking into his eyes, which suddenly seemed far too wise and worldly, Jeonghan wondered if perhaps he really did. The thought made him blush. “You’ll need your shoes.” He tilted his chin in Blondie’s direction again. “Mingyu and Wonwoo will drive you home.”

“That isn’t…” Jeonghan began, already shaking his head.

“I insist,” Seungcheol cut him off, his tone firm. This time, Jeonghan didn’t bother to argue with him.

His shoes were brought out and he put them on quickly. He ran a rough hand through his hair, pulling it into a messy ponytail with one of the hair-bands he always kept in his bag. He had a comb too but he wasn’t about to give into vanity and use it. He’d survive until he could get home and give it a thorough wash.

When he was done, he saw the two tall ones, Mingyu and Wonwoo, already waiting for him by the door.

As he looked at Seungcheol, he suddenly felt awkward. He really was thankful that his minions had interceded on his behalf. Heaven knew where he would’ve woken if they hadn’t, assuming he’d woken up at all.

“Thanks,” he said carefully. “Really.”

Seungcheol nodded, hands in his pocket as he casually rocked back on his heels. “Sure. Anytime.”

It looked and felt like he wanted to say more but he didn’t, perhaps realizing that Jeonghan simply wasn’t ready to receive it, whatever it was.

With an awkward wave to the room at large, Jeonghan walked over to the now open door, following the black-haired tall one through it and down a hallway while the tall brunette ambled along behind him.

He couldn’t tell much about the building from the hallway except that it looked strangely like an old office building, not an apartment complex. The elevator they took down to the ground floor was a freight elevator and when they reached their destination, they emerged in make-shift parking lot. He had to say make-shift because though it was full of vehicles, many of them old and clearly out of use, there were no lines on the ground, no kind of organization in the way in which the cars were parked.

_Don’t look; don’t ask questions_ , he chanted. He was a naturally curious person but for once, he had no desire to have answers to his questions; not if not knowing kept him alive.

He was just climbing into a black, darkly-tinted BMW – cripes! – when someone called his name. One foot in the back seat, he paused and turned around to find Blondie running towards him.

“Here.” He held out a black leather jacket. “It’s a bit chilly out still and he thought you might need it.”

“It’s okay, I’m fine,” Jeonghan assured him.

“He insisted,” Blondie pressed, as if that was reason enough to accept and maybe it was. Jeonghan found himself reaching for the jacket, a soft “thank you” on his lips, before slipping into the car.

As the brunette closed the door behind him, he told himself that he’d only taken the jacket to make things easier on Blondie. He seemed like the nicest of the lot.

 

The drive home was a silent one, for which he was thankful.

The windows of the car were pitch-black so he couldn’t see outside; couldn’t find his way back to the building if he wanted to which was probably the point. There was a privacy screen separating the back seat from the front. He assumed that Seungcheol used it while conducting business. It made Jeonghan feel like he was in jail, though. A luxurious, leather-seated prison. The only thing he appreciated about the car was the cooler of drinks under the seat that the duo had told him to help himself to. There was a variety of options but he only took a bottle of water, sipping on it carefully so as not to upset his stomach.

He had the pair drop him off two blocks from his apartment. He was sure that they knew that the apartment building they’d pulled up to wasn’t his but neither one said anything and they drove off after watching him walk into the foyer. They’d done their job.

As soon as they were gone, he made his way through the foyer to the resident parking lot, then to the other side of the lot where there was a gate that opened into a park which opened onto his street. It sounded a complicated but it was actually a scenic short-cut, one that he took almost every day.

His steps quickened as he approached his building. Home sweet home was finally in sight.

He absently waved to the guy at the reception desk before taking the stairs two at a time. He was just sending up a thanks to the heavens as he stepped out onto his floor when he came to an abrupt stop, eyes glued to the person seated outside his door.

“Junhui?”

Jun’s head raised slowly, blood-shot eyes meeting his surprised ones. Jun jumped to his feet as Jeonghan rushed down the hall towards him.

“Where the hell did you disappear to?” he demanded, grabbing Jeonghan’s arms painfully.

Jeonghan winced but didn’t tell him to let go. “It’s a long story actually.”

Jun’s hands tightened and he shook Jeonghan slightly, as if he wanted to throttle him. “We looked for you as best we could at that time of night and in that area. Hyesung was out of his mind with worry. I wanted to call the police but he said we couldn’t. For the same reason he hasn’t put cameras outside the bar, I guess. He said if you didn’t show up today, he’d get someone to look into it.”

“Since when is our boss a gangster? I thought we only served them,” Jeonghan joked.

“This is serious,” Jun snapped.

“I know,” Jeonghan said softly, allowing his stoic veneer to slip a little and letting Jun see just how shaken he really was. “You wouldn’t believe the night I’ve had.”

“Why don’t you tell me about it?”

“Let’s go inside.”

Jun released Jeonghan and stepped aside to allow him to unlock the door, following behind him when he walked inside. As soon as the door was closed, though, Jun grabbed him by the arm and pressed him up against the door, burying his face in his neck.

Without thinking, Jeonghan’s arms wrapped around his friend, holding him close.

“I was so worried,” Jun murmured into his skin, tickling him with his breath.

“I know. I’m okay, though. Promise.”

They stayed like that for a while, though he couldn’t say how long. Jeonghan only dropped his arms when he felt something poking him beneath the belt, Jun’s hips slowly grinding that _something_ into him.

“I thought you wanted to talk?” he teased, eyebrows arched.

“I did. I _do_.” Jun lifted his head and threaded his fingers through Jeonghan’s hair, pulling his hair-tie out as he did so. “But my body does strange things when I experience heightened emotions.”

Jeonghan laughed breathlessly. “Uh huh.”

Jun pouted dramatically, eyes dancing with mischief. “You’ve never complained before.”

“I’m not complaining _now_.”

“Good.”

Jeonghan started to laugh again but it was cut off by Jun’s lips as they covered his, the husky sound morphing into a pleasant sigh, his eyelids slipping shut and his own lips parting for a welcome, comforting invasion.


	3. Chapter 3

The heat from the shower had seeped into his bones and now all he wanted to do was sleep.

He had to take care of the nest on his head first, though.

Sighing, Jeonghan tied the towel around his waist and walked up to the mirror, wiping the steam from the glass.

He looked better…marginally. If you looked past the smudges under his eyes, the droop of his lips and the lovely bruise on his ribs to accompany the redness around his neck.

_Ouch._

How had he not seen it before? Jun was going to be pissed. Jun had been gentle but thorough and it was a wonder that he hadn’t noticed it either. Then again, he’d been preoccupied.

The corner of his lips quirked slightly at the thought of his friend currently drooling on his pillow.

He’d have to wake Jun up and send him on his way soon. He had a class, which Jeonghan was usually quite pleased to tease him about.

 _“Who schedules classes on a Saturday?”_ Jun often grumbled. _“The devil, that’s who.”_

Jeonghan was free so he planned on going back to bed once Jun was gone but he did have to work that night, the eight to four shift. He’d considered staying home – Hyesung had even offered when he’d called to let him know that he was okay before he’d headed into the shower – but he wasn’t working on Sunday so he’d grin and bear it. Besides, Saturday was the night where he made the most tips and he needed every penny he could get.

Sighing, he grabbed his hair product and got to work, using a leave-in moisturizer and deciding to let it air-dry. He’d have to flat-iron it before he went to work later but he would rather deal with it then, when he had more energy.

He could just cut it all off, he thought as he slipped into a pair of boxers and a loose tank. He usually trimmed it every month, keeping it just to the shoulders, but a few months ago Jun had talked him into letting it grow a little longer. He liked running his hands through it, liked grabbing handfuls and pulling it hard when they were getting it on. Jeonghan would be lying if he said that he didn’t enjoy it too.

Shaking his head, he walked out of the bathroom and down the hall to his bedroom. He smiled when he saw Jun twisted in the sheets, dead asleep. He hated having to wake him but he didn’t want him to be late for his class.

It was funny how normal it looked, Jun sleeping in his bed as if he belonged, when they’d never spent the night together. Well, technically that wasn’t true.

They’d been friends since their first year at university but that was all they’d been. Their friendship didn’t take a turn for the sexual until Jeonghan’s two-year relationship with his TA had ended, badly. One night, after a little too much to drink at a party, they’d been at Jun’s place commiserating in their loneliness when Jun – or was it him? – had joked about helping each other out and the next thing he knew, they were fucking. That was the first and only time, until today anyway, that they’d slept in each other’s bed after sex. Usually they got in, got off, and went back to their respective homes. Sleepovers were only allowed if they were spending time together as besties, not fuck buddies. It might seem incredibly technical and unnecessarily complicated to others but for them, it kept things from getting messy. The fact of the matter was that they weren’t interested in each other romantically but they were aware that if they allowed both aspects of their relationship to collide, they could end up ruining what they had. Their friendship would always be first and foremost to them; sex was simply a scoop of ice-cream on the side.

Any other day Jeonghan would’ve sent Jun home afterwards but how could he kick him out after he’d spent the night in his hallway waiting for him to come home? The thought honestly hadn’t even crossed his mind. He’d even let him sleep in if he didn’t have class soon.

Sitting beside him on the bed, Jeonghan tugged the sheet down to expose Jun’s shaggy head and gently swept his hair aside to reveal his face.

“Jun-ah.”

“Five more minutes, mom,” Jun grumbled.

Jeonghan chuckled softly to himself. “If I was your mother…well, I’m pretty sure what we did earlier would be illegal. Come on.” He stood and tugged the blankets all the way off. “I’ll make you breakfast while you shower.”

Jun grumbled some more but eventually opened his eyes, stretching and blinking blearily up at Jeonghan.

“You could’ve just let me sleep in,” he whined.

“Weren’t you the one who told me _not_ to let you miss this class?” Jeonghan retorted. “I do remember something about the lecturer being an evil spinster or something to that effect.”

Jun sighed, rubbing a weary hand over his face as he sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. “Don’t remind me.”

“Come on.” Jeonghan held out his hands for Jun to take and pulled him up. “Oatmeal okay? I haven’t had a chance to go to the supermarket yet.”

Jun nodded, releasing Jeonghan’s hands and walking over to the dresser. He dug around in the last drawer – _his_ drawer – and pulled out clean boxers, a T-shirt and a pair of sweats. At Jeonghan’s raised brow, he rolled his eyes. “It’s Saturday, okay. If I was at home, where I should be, this is exactly what I’d be wearing.”

Shaking his head, Jeonghan headed to the kitchen while Jun went off to shower. He put on half a pot of coffee, more for Jun than himself since he was serious about going back to bed as soon as Jun was gone, and set about making the oatmeal.

Jun was quick and efficient, sparing no more than five minutes for showering and brushing his teeth and barely ten for eating. He was also going to be late so it was better that he didn’t dilly-dally.

Jeonghan poured the coffee into a thermos and handed it to him as he walked him to the door.

“I want this back. Don’t go losing it on the bus or something,” he warned.

Jun rolled his eyes – which he had an annoying habit of – and grabbed it out of his hand. “Yes, _Mom_.”

“If you keep calling me that, I’m going to think you want me to be, you kinky bastard,” Jeonghan joked.

Jeonghan opened the door for him, stepping out behind him to walk him to the elevator. When it arrived, Jun turned to him, suddenly serious, eyes searching as he trailed his gaze from the top of Jeonghan’s head to the toes of his bare feet.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, the worry and fear unmistakable in his voice.

Jeonghan nodded. “I’m okay,” he assured him, the words thick in his throat. He was but he very nearly almost hadn’t been and he wouldn’t be forgetting that any time soon.

“Okay.” Jun leaned in, pressing his lips gently to Jeonghan’s.

There was no heat behind it, no intent, and Jeonghan closed his eyes, accepting it for exactly what it was: affection.

“I’ll see you later,” Jun said, stepping into the elevator and pressing the button for the ground floor.

Jeonghan smiled. “I’ll be there.”

As soon as he was locked inside his apartment once more, he headed to his bedroom, flung himself on the bed and passed right out.

 

He felt much better by the time he walked into the bar that night.

Hyesung hugged him as soon as he saw him, patting him down gently as if looking for damage. Jeonghan stood dutifully still and let him.

“I’ve had cameras installed around the perimeter of the building,” he informed him. “I don’t care what these criminals say: I won’t have my people being accosted. I’ve already put out the word that it won’t be tolerated. I’ve asked my contacts to try to find out who the culprit is but…”

Jeonghan nodded, understanding. “It’s okay.” It was unlikely that anyone would step forward to rat anyone else out. That’s not how things worked around here. What was done was done. The most Hyesung could do was try to make sure it didn’t happen again. He had a good relationship with quite a few “leaders” in the area so they would help out as best they could, he was sure.

“You didn’t have to come in,” Hyesung scolded, finally releasing him and taking a step back, seemingly satisfied that he would live. “I shouldn’t have let you.”

Jeonghan smiled slightly. “You couldn’t stop me if you tried, Boss.”

Hyesung rolled his eyes. “Well, I definitely know you’re okay if you’re in your usually irritating form.”

Hyesung left him alone after that, though he checked in with Jeonghan far more than he usually did as the night progressed and when he wasn’t checking in, Jeonghan caught him throwing glances in his direction. It didn’t bother him, though. If anything, it was nice to know that Hyesung cared that much.

Saturday night was always the busiest and one of the nights that Seungcheol never missed yet when 1:00am rolled around, Jeonghan couldn’t help but notice that he still wasn’t there.

He wasn’t looking out for him, per se. He may have happened to notice that two of his goons, the ones who had driven him home – Mingyu and Wonwoo, was it? – had shown up around 11:00, sitting at Seungcheol’s usual table in Jeonghan’s side of the bar: one with his body slightly turned towards the door, the other twisted towards Jeonghan himself. They weren’t very obvious about keeping an eye on him but he wasn’t stupid: he knew exactly why they were there. He’d assumed that Seungcheol would show up at some point but when he didn’t, curiosity got the better of him and before he realized what he was doing, he’d poured two shots of brandy and was walking around the counter and out into the open floor.

“You look thirsty,” he said by way of explanation, setting the glasses on the table in front of them. “If you’re going to be watching me all night, you may as well get something out of it.”

The taller one’s lips twitched. “Thanks.”

The other one, mister dark and brooding, merely nodded in acknowledgement.

He should’ve just left it at that, should’ve returned to the bar, but quenching their thirst wasn’t really his motivation for coming over, was it?

“Seungcheol not coming in tonight?” he asked, schooling his features and trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

The two exchanged a look before Dark and Brooding replied, “He got caught up in something.”

Jeonghan’s brow furrowed but he didn’t ask anything further, reminding himself that these weren’t people he should or wanted to get involved with.

“Right. Well, you know where I am if you need a refill.”

Without waiting for a reply, he returned to the bar and tried to ignore them for the rest of his shift.

The next three hours passed surprisingly fast and when last call was announced, Jeonghan breathed a sigh of relief. He’d made it.

His section of the bar was empty so he left the few stragglers to Jamie, a cute blond girl who’d started around the same time that he did, and went into the back to change. Sometimes, if they planned to hit a club or something after work, he’d take a shower but the only place he wanted to be, the only place he intended to go, was home. He couldn’t wait to dive into his sheets again and not resurface for at least twelve blissful hours.

“How was it?” Jun asked when he joined him in the locker room.

“Can’t complain,” he replied swapping T-shirts and slipping into his jacket. “No one hassled me and I made a fair amount of tips. A decent night all around.”

Jun nodded. “Good. A customer spilled a drink on me and I feel sticky so I’m gonna take a quick shower. Wait for me outside. And by outside, I mean _in_ the bar this time.”

Jeonghan sighed. “Jun-ah…”

“I mean it,” Jun said sternly. “I’m not letting you out of my sight until I know you’re home safely.”

Jeonghan recognized the stubborn look on his face. Jun wasn’t going to budge. “Fine. I’ll just have a drink while I’m waiting.”

He watched Jun stalk off to the shower before turning back to his locker. He swept his hair up into a careless bun and started to reach for his things: his knapsack…and a familiar black leather jacket.

He’d completely forgotten about it _again_.

He didn’t even remember that he had it until he was leaving for work and spotted it on the floor, just inside the door, where he’d dropped it and his bag when Jun had pressed him up against the door. He’d brought it with him, intending to return it to its owner that night but he hadn’t shown up and Jeonghan had forgotten it again. Until now.

Clutching it tightly, he slung his bag over his shoulder, slammed his locker shut and walked back into the bar.

They were still there, right where he’d left them.

He slowed his steps as he approached them, not exactly sure what he was going to say just yet.

It should be simple enough. Just say _“here”_ and give it to them to give to their boss. Problem solved.

But…When was anything ever simple where he was concerned?

“Seungcheol still caught up?” he inquired casually.

“Seems like,” Mr. Tall replied.

Jeonghan nodded. “I have something of his. Thought I might return it.”

They merely looked up at him, faces expressionless.

“I was thinking that maybe I should give it to him myself,” he rambled on, the epitome of seriousness. “To make sure that he gets it. Don’t want him coming around saying that I never sent it back. Heaven knows I can’t afford to replace it.” He was pretty sure that he sounded like an idiot, which wasn’t the norm for him. He didn’t quite know how to feel about that.

Mingyu and Wonwoo continued to stare at him for a few long seconds, neither one saying a thing before Mr. Tall finally asked, “So you want to see him then?”

Jeonghan’s brow wrinkled, shoulders tensing stiffly in an unconscious show of defensiveness. “If it’s possible.”

The pair exchanged glances again and then, without a word, Mr. Tall stood and walked out of the bar, pulling his phone out of his pocket along the way.

Jeonghan stood there feeling more and more ridiculous as the seconds ticked by. _Just give them the jacket, you fool_ , he chided himself. He should, he knew that he should, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

A minute later, Mr. Tall reappeared in the entrance of the bar and nodded his head at Broody, which was apparently the signal he’d been waiting for because Broody stood and held his arm out, gesturing for Jeonghan to walk ahead of him.

A minute later, he was ensconced in the back seat of the pitch-black BMW – he’d caught a glimpse of the hood this time – once again.

He sent off a quick text to Jun, letting him know that Seungcheol’s minions were taking him home.

An angry-face emoji appeared on his screen less than five seconds later, followed by _“text me when you get home”,_ then _“and send a proof shot!”_

Jeonghan smiled to himself. Jun was clearly not leaving anything to chance.

He settled back in the leather seat, jacket still clutched tightly in his grip.

He wasn’t sure much time passed before they came to a stop but it didn’t feel like a long ride. Maybe ten minutes, if so much. That meant that Seungcheol really did work and live close to the bar.

When his door opened, he alighted from the car and followed a familiar pair of broad shoulders through the rusty parking ground to the freight elevator that he’d come down in less than twenty-four hours ago.

MinWon – he’d figure out who was who eventually – flanked him on either side but neither one said a word the entire ride up. The elevator was old and had no display screen to speak of so he wasn’t exactly sure which floor the loft was on.

When it came to a stop, he followed Broody down a dark hallway towards an open door, the only source of light spilling out, at the end. Broody paused just outside the door and gestured for him to enter.

He stepped through the door, into the loft, and paused, taking a good look around this time.

It was a wide, open space but for the partitioned area that was the bedroom/bathroom further down on the right just before the kitchen. It had obviously been erected after the room itself was built – from what he’d seen the building looked more like a converted office building or warehouse than an apartment complex of any kind – from some kind of thin wood. Ply, perhaps.

There were a slew of sofas and couches, even a Lazy-boy, set around an entertainment station: huge flat screen TV and a million game consoles. There was also a pinball machine and a ping-pong table set up in a corner.

Further back was the small table where he’d had coffee with Seungcheol and his brother. Chan was it? And beyond that, the kitchen which was surprisingly huge and well equipped, with two large refrigerators. He assumed that meant that there were more minions that he hadn’t seen yet and they all spent an inordinate amount of time there. Did Seungcheol ever have any privacy?

Speaking of the devil, he was rising from the table, a wide smile on his lips, walking towards Jeonghan.

“I didn’t expect to see you again so soon,” he greeted. “But I’m glad I did. You look better.”

Jeonghan suppressed the urge to roll his eyes and settled for saying _“thanks”_ instead. “I just wanted to return this,” he said, thrusting the jacket at Seungcheol.

Seungcheol glanced down at it as he accepted it before looking back up at Jeonghan, his expression clearly reiterating Jeonghan’s earlier thoughts: _You_ _could’ve just given it to my men_.

They both knew it, MinWon knew it, but he’d made them bring him all the way there anyway. For what? He honestly didn’t know.

Shaking it off, he added, “And to say thanks again for last night. You know…intervening.”

“All thanks go to my men for that,” Seungcheol acknowledged. “They took care of it.”

“ _Took care of…_ ” Jeonghan repeated, a small chill running down his spine. “In what way?”

Seungcheol gave him a speculative look. “He’s still alive if that’s what you’re asking.”

Jeonghan forced himself to take a deep breath, releasing it slowly. _Don’t think about it_ , he chanted mentally. _Don’t let it get to you_.

When he felt calmer, he tightened his hold on his strap, shifting from one foot to the other. “Well, I guess I’d better…”

“Actually, I’m glad you came,” Seungcheol announced, turning and walking back towards the table. “I have a proposition for you.”

Jeonghan immediately became suspicious, eyebrows arching. “A proposition?”

Seungcheol nodded.

Against his better judgment, Jeonghan walked inside, following in Seungcheol’s wake. He glanced down at the sofa nearest to him as he passed, seeing a shaggy-haired blond boy with the doe-y-est eyes he’d ever seen and Blondie, who smiled at him. Apart from them, and Seungcheol’s brother Chan who was at the table, the place appeared to be empty.

“What kind of proposition?”

Seungcheol’s smile widened. “A mutually beneficial one.”

Jeonghan cocked his head to the side, intrigued. “How do you figure that?”

“You’re a university student, right?” Jeonghan nodded. “I’m assuming that the reason you work in a bar in the shittiest part of town is because you need money. Correct?” Again, Jeonghan nodded. “Well then, I think we can help each other out.”

Jeonghan stayed quiet, waiting for him to get to the point.

Seungcheol moved to stand behind Chan’s chair, resting his hands gently on his shoulders. “You remember my brother Chan? He could use some help with academics. He’s preparing to get his GED and a little tutoring would go a long way in securing that.”

Jeonghan glanced at the boy’s face, frowning. “How old is he?”

“Sixteen.”

He looked all of twelve in Jeonghan’s eyes but not looking your age seemed to run to the family. And it was beside the point.

“Shouldn’t he be in school then?” Jeonghan asked, frown deepening.

“That’s a story for another time,” Seungcheol said dismissively. “I imagine that being a student and living off campus means that you have quite a few bills to pay. I’m sure that we can help each other out. I’ll even let you name your price.”

If something sounded too good to be true then Jeonghan was of the opinion that it most certainly was. He wasn’t born yesterday: he knew that Seungcheol had ulterior motives for asking him to tutor his brother. Jeonghan could almost admire his creativity. He’d appealed to Jeonghan in a way that would tempt him _not_ to say no, offering him the chance to help a young boy while making money to help himself. Of course Seungcheol knew that he needed money. He wouldn’t be surprised if he’d done a thorough background check on him the minute they’d met. It was the kind of thing his type did, wasn’t it?

Still, as tempting as it might be, he’d told himself the night he met Seungcheol that it would be wise to steer clear. Seungcheol seemed nice but he was involved in shady dealings and nothing good could come from associating with him, even if it helped ease his financial burden.

Clearing his throat, he started to say, “Thanks, but…” However, Seungcheol’s raised hand stopped him.

“Don’t give me an answer yet,” he ordered. “Go home, think it over. Think about what this could mean for you. Take as long as you need. If you still decide that you’re not interested…” He spread his hands as if to say _oh well_. “I’ll accept and respect your decision.”

A little voice inside advised him to just end it and move on with his life. _Nothing good could come of being associated with them_ , it reminded him.

But he bit his tongue. He would sort out why later when he’d slept, woken up and could think clearly, hopefully coming to his senses.

He waited a beat before nodding his silent assent but as he turned to leave, not caring to prolong his presence there any further, out of the corner of his eye he could’ve sworn that he saw a look of triumph on Seungcheol’s face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Tall and Broody, lol. He'll get them sorted soon enough but until then that works, doesn't it?


	4. Chapter 4

“Service at table three.”

“Got it,” Jeonghan replied, wiping his hands on a towel and heading towards the table Hyesung had indicated.

It was early Monday evening, just past 8:30pm. Monday was always the quietest night of the week, compared to the rest anyway. The crowd was always light so Hyesung usually reduced the staff and as a result, Jeonghan found himself working double duty: bartending and waiting.

He didn’t mind. It gave him the opportunity to get out from behind the bar for a change and the customers never bothered him much. The Monday crowd was more subdued and seemed content to keep to themselves.

Of course, quiet or not, there was one table that was occupied by its usual “tenants”. Once table three was taken care of, he headed over to them.

“What can I get you?” he asked, eyes flickering between Wonwoo and Mingyu. He’d finally figured out which was which. Well...he thought so anyway.

“Water,” they said in unison.

Resisting the urge to shake his head, he allowed his gaze to shift to the third occupant of the table. “And you?”

Seungcheol, who had been looking at him, waiting patiently to be acknowledged, smiled slightly as he replied, “Whiskey. Neat.”

“Coming right up.”

He strolled to the bar, taking his time as he grabbed a couple of bottles of water and glassed and poured Seungcheol’s whiskey. He set them atop a tray, wiped down the bar and made sure everything was in its place before walking back over.

He knew why Seungcheol was there: to get his answer in regards to tutoring his brother, Chan. Well…that and the fact that he was there every night, like clockwork. _Every night except Friday._

Loathe to admit it as he was, he was still curious about that. Why Friday of all days? He wondered if he asked Seungcheol, if he bargained with him, if he’d give him an honest answer.

He placed the drinks in front of the men, taking his time once more as he ignored Seungcheol’s expectant look.

He could tell him now, he supposed, turning and walking back to the bar as a new customer sidled up. But he didn’t feel like it just yet. Let him wait.

He could hear Jun’s voice telling him to tread carefully. _Don’t poke the bear_. Jun needed to stay out of his head. They were obviously spending way too much time together.

The hours ticked by monotonously, with Jeonghan killing time between the straggling customers by talking to the other bartender on shift in his area. He refilled Mingyu and Wonwoo’s water and Seungcheol’s whiskey twice before his shift ended.

He’d occasionally glanced over at them, noticing Seungcheol on his phone once or twice but other than that, they sat in complete silence, eyes roving around as they sipped on their drinks. How three people could sit together and not talk was beyond him.

Finally, 1:30am came around and Hyesung decided to take pity on the staff, calling it a day.

Jeonghan gave the bar one last wipe-down and checked to make sure that all of the glasses were washed and put away before heading to the locker-room. Once again, he took his time changing into his street clothes, knowing that Seungcheol would be waiting right where he’d left him.

As he walked out into the main room and headed towards Seungcheol, who stood when he saw him, he slipped a folded piece of paper out of his jacket pocket.

“I’ve decided to take you up on your offer,” he began, not wasting any time getting to the point. He offered the paper. “That’s my number. I imagine you could’ve gotten it yourself – knowing you as I think I do, you probably already have it – but let’s pretend that you’re a normal person and this is the normal course of things.”

The corner of Seungcheol’s lips twitched as he accepted and tucked the paper into the sleek, black jacket of his suit but he said nothing to either confirm or deny Jeonghan’s not-so-veiled accusation.

“That number is for Chan and Chan’s use only. If I hear you or any of your minions on the other end, I’m going to hang up and not answer it again. Hell, I may just get a new one. Are we clear?”

Seungcheol’s jaw tightened, lips pressed together, but he nodded all the same.

“Wonderful. Have him call me.”

“And payment?” Seungcheol asked, finally breaking his silence.

Jeonghan paused for a moment. When he’d decided to accept Seungcheol’s offer, he’d thought through the money aspect of things as well. Money was something that he was very particular about, however, and he didn’t feel like it was worth discussing until he’d actually begun working for it.

“One thing at a time,” he said nonchalantly.

With a brief nod, he started towards Hyesung’s office.

“Aren’t you going home?” Seungcheol inquired. “I’ll give you a lift.”

Although it was phrased as an offer, there was a hint of expectation in Seungcheol’s words, like Jeonghan was supposed to be a good little boy and get in his car so that he could ensure that he got home safely.

It was high-handed but Jeonghan appreciated the concern behind it. Still, it would be a cold day in hell before he started running scared just because someone tried to assault him.

“I’ve got a ride,” he replied. “But thanks.”

Nodding again, he continued to Hyesung’s office, opening and shutting the door behind him without so much as a backward glance.

 

It was too bloody early in the morning when his phone woke him up.

It was Jun. It had to be. He was the only bastard who rang before 8:00am despite knowing that Jeonghan had worked the night shift.

Reaching for his phone on his bedside table, he glared at it with bleary eyes before answering, “You’d better have a good excuse this time, asshole.”

There was a prolonged silence on the other end before a soft voice tentatively questioned, “Is this…is this Jeonghan?”

Vitriol draining out of him, Jeonghan rubbed his eyes quickly before peering at the screen. The first thing he noticed was that the number was private; the second was that it was actually 9:30.

“Sorry, sorry,” he apologized quickly, kicking off his blanket and swinging his legs over the side of his bed, long hair hanging limp and messy about his face. “I thought it was someone else. Who is this?”

“Dino…ah, Chan,” the voice replied nervously. “Seungcheol’s brother. He gave me your number. I hope that’s okay.”

“Yes, it’s fine. I told him to have you call. I just wasn’t expecting…” He broke off to stifle a yawn, tucking the phone between his ear and shoulder as he scratched his scraggly hair with one hand and his empty stomach with the other. “Sorry, I was up late writing my thesis so my brain isn’t quite on air at the moment.”

Chan chuckled softly, the sound innocently refreshing. “I’m sorry to disturb you then.”

Smiling, Jeonghan stood and made his way to the kitchen. “It’s fine. I needed to eat anyway so my stomach thanks you. How are you doing?”

“I’m good,” he replied slowly, making Jeonghan wonder if no one ever bothered to ask him the question. He wondered if Seungcheol ever engaged him in idle conversation or kept tabs on his emotional and mental stability. He was still a kid, after all. Those things mattered.

“I thought we could discuss scheduling. Is that okay?” Jeonghan asked.

“Uh, yeah.”

They went through Jeonghan’s work and school schedule, hammering out times that would be convenient to them both. Since Chan wasn’t working or going to school, his time was extremely flexible. Jeonghan’s schedule proved to be a bit more challenging.

Still, they managed to work it out so that Chan had about four tutoring sessions a week. Jeonghan would be dead on his feet by the time he got home most of those days but Seungcheol would make it worth his while, he was sure. And Chan seemed like a nice kid. By the time they hung up, having arranged for a quick study session at the end of Jeonghan’s shift that night, Jeonghan found himself genuinely wanting to help him.

After breakfast, he showered, re-read and edited the ten pages of rubbish he’d written while half-asleep as he blow-dried his hair, before going back to bed again.

When he woke at 4:00pm, he lounged in front of the TV with a huge plate of leftovers – he needed to go to the supermarket again – until it was time for him to get ready and head to work.

He was working a short shift that day: 8:00pm-1:00am. Hyesung was closing early to do inventory and since Jeonghan had worked Monday, the day that everyone dreaded, he was exempted. A fair trade if you asked him. He’d be working two short nights in a row at full pay.

He made it to work with five minutes to spare, immediately rubbing his good fortune in Jun’s face when he had the audacity to accuse him of being late.

The rest of the night continued in that vein, them playfully picking on each other whenever they were in the vicinity.

Jeonghan noticed when Seungcheol came in, this time with Shorty and Bitchy instead of MinWon, but he ignored them. From the brief glimpse he’d caught of the trio, Bitchy looked unimpressed, his nose upturned as he looked around. Or maybe that was just his natural expression. Of all of Seungcheol’s henchmen, Jeonghan knew that he was the one he would dislike the most. He already did.

_He’d better sit in front on the way over to Seungcheol’s plac_ e, he thought, _otherwise I might chuck him out the door_.

The hours slipped by uneventfully, Jun’s jabs – both physical and verbal – notwithstanding.

Like Monday, Tuesday wasn’t much of a busy night for the bar, either. The crowd usually picked up on Wednesday. It was still filled but comfortably so and only with regulars, although at this point Jeonghan was inclined to think of all of their customers as regulars. No one in their right mind ventured into this part of town unless they were somehow affiliated. Or stupid.

The bell for last call rang at 12:30 and by 1:00 on the dot, Hyesung was standing by the door saying goodbye to his patrons like the good host that he was.

Jeonghan, knowing that Seungcheol would be inclined to wait inside, went into the locker room without a look at the man himself, swapping his fitted v-neck for a loose cardigan. Hyesung allowed them to wear their own clothes to work as comfort was key and he had no plans to institute a uniform, though there were regulations of a sort. All he really asked was that it be form-fitting – _“To show off what fine specimens you are!”_ – and nothing too outrageous, like neon orange or full-on stripper gear. There might be pimps in their clientele, he liked to remind them, but he himself was not running a brothel. Thankfully, everyone seemed to prefer jeans and T-shirts. The only exception was when they held events, one of which was coming up soon he remembered.

Pushing it out of his mind, Jeonghan sighed contentedly as he pushed the loose sleeves up to his elbows.

He didn’t mind wearing fitted clothing to work but on his own time, big and baggy was the way to go. Most of his clothes were a size or two too big and when he was at home, he only ever wore boxers/shorts and a tank. He hated feeling constricted in any way.

“I hate you,” Jun whispered in his ear, his breath fanning the back of his neck as he pressed himself into Jeonghan’s back.

Smiling wickedly, Jeonghan pushed back, teasingly rubbing his ass into Jun’s crotch for a second, before turning around and saying, eyes now wide with faux-innocence, “Whatever for?”

Jun’s eyes narrowed but he didn’t say anything, taking a step back to give Jeonghan his space instead.

Hitching his messenger back across his chest, Jeonghan said, “I’ll call you when I get home.”

Jun’s expression turned skeptical. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”

Jeonghan sighed, shrugging his shoulders. This wasn’t the first time that Jun had voiced his concerns. “It’s not a bad one? I mean, what’s the worst that could happen really?”

Jun cocked a pointed brow as if to say _“don’t be stupid”._

“You didn’t see this kid, Junie. He needs me. I don’t even know if Seungcheol or any of his band of degenerates graduated high-school and the kid is smart. He needs help and, well, I’m getting paid so it’s not exactly charity work, is it?”

“You _could_ always just move in with me, like we planned,” Jun reminded him. “We were supposed to look at two bedroom apartments, if memory recalls, but we never got around to it.”

“I know. I know, and it’s still on the table but I want to try to make it on my own if possible. Besides,” he added, unable to pass up the opportunity for a dig, “I know what _you’re_ getting out of it but what’s in it for me? You snore, _loudly_ ; you use up all the hot water; you drink directly out of the milk carton and you’re a messy pig. Need I go on?”

“You _know what’s in it for me_?” Jun mocked. “And what, pray tell, is that?”

Jeonghan flickered his gaze from Jun’s eyes to his lips, then down his body, back up to his lips and finally landing on his eyes again, cocking his own brow pointedly.

He knew that Jun had gotten the point, and conceded, when his nostrils flared and his cheeks coloured slightly.

“Well…best not keep my new employer waiting,” he said flippantly. “Have fun with your inventory, Jun-Jun.”

He gave Jun a playful but firm pat on the ass on his way out, smiling to himself when he heard a couple of the girls, who had watched the entire exchange with rabid fascination, giggle.

Everyone knew about his and Jun’s unorthodox relationship. Jun had brought him into the bar, after all, and he’d never made any attempt to hide the fact that they were more than just friends. The way Jun flirted outrageously and touched him proprietarily made it pretty clear.

As expected, Seungcheol was waiting by “his” table. Jeonghan absently wondered if Hyesung had even bothered to try to get him to wait outside or if he was so used to Seungcheol sticking around after Jeonghan’s shifts that he just left him alone now.

“Ready?” Seungcheol asked as he approached. He was alone, Jeonghan noted. _Interesting..._

“Yeah.”

Seungcheol gestured for him to walk ahead so he did, leading the way to and out the door, saying goodbye to Hyesung, whose dark eyes gave away his thoughts, as he passed him.

Seungcheol’s BMW idled out front, black and mysterious, just like its owner.

As usual, Seungcheol was dressed head to toe in what Jeonghan thought of as _his_ uniform: black trousers, close-fitting black shirt, unbuttoned black jacket and shiny black shoes. His black hair was mostly gelled back but with a wave curled gently over half of his forehead, softening the overall severity of the look.

Seungcheol walked past Jeonghan and opened the door, closing it behind him once he was seated before walking around to the other side and climbing in.

It was never a long ride from the bar to Seungcheol’s headquarters, ten minutes at most, which meant that it wasn’t that far but Jeonghan still had no idea where it was. He could identify it from outside, having seen the building twice now, but how to get to it…that, he wasn’t sure he’d ever know.

_Which is exactly the point and you’d better keep that in mind_ , a little voice warned.

“How was your shift?” Seungcheol asked, idly adjusting the cuff of his shirt. He’d ditched his jacket at some point as it now lay across his lap.

“You know how it was,” Jeonghan replied lazily, turning to gaze out of the window, aka, at his own reflection since he couldn’t see shit. “You were there.”

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he felt contrite. He didn’t mean to be rude or curt with Seungcheol but having his defenses up around him all the time made it hard not to be.

When Seungcheol remained silent, Jeonghan’s contrition deepened, leading him to turn back to his host and ask, “How was your day? Did you…” He paused, unsure of how to word it. “…take care of _things_?”

The corner of Seungcheol’s mouth quirked in a smile. “Do you really want to know?”

“Probably better if I don’t,” Jeonghan replied honestly, giving into a small smile of his own.

Smile widening, Seungcheol said, “It was a good day for business. A _very_ good day.”

“Good. Great.”

Silence reigned for the rest of the ride but it wasn’t uncomfortable.

When they arrived at the building and Jeonghan finally walked into the loft, he stopped in his tracks, brought up short by the noise.

It was the first time that he’d seem them all together, assuming this _was_ all of them. Mingyu and Wonwoo were playing pool, which had apparently replaced the ping-pong table that had been there a few days ago. Bitchy and Shorty, who had pushed past him when he stopped in the doorway, joined them.

Chan was where he always seemed to be: at the small dining table. Blondie sat on the couch with Doe Eyes, sharing a huge bowl of popcorn as they watched a football game. Beside them was another boy, one he hadn’t seen before. He was smiling widely, eyes disappearing into crescents. He looked like a fool, to be honest, though a harmless and probably lovable one. He reminded him of a childhood friend.

Perhaps the fact that they all looked so innocent, so young, was what made them so dangerous. He made a mental note to keep that in mind.

“Coming in?” a husky voice whispered in his ear, warm breath washing over the sensitive skin and making him shiver slightly. He didn’t miss the smirk on Seungcheol’s face as he too walked past him, dropping his jacket onto a Lazy Boy as he headed for the kitchen.

Forcing himself to put one foot in front of the other, Jeonghan went directly to the table and the boy sitting there somehow looking alone and out of place in the chaotic setting.

“Hi Chan,” he greeted, setting his bag on the table as he took a seat.

Chan smiled shyly in return, eyes briefly flicking up to Jeonghan’s before returning to the open notebook in front of him.

“What are you doing?”

“Just looking over some stuff,” he replied, voice so soft that Jeonghan had to lean in to hear him.

Jeonghan took a small notebook out of his bag and shifted closer. “Why don’t you show me what you’ve been doing?”

For the next hour, they went through Chan’s progress thus far. He logged onto the site that he was registered with, showed Jeonghan the syllabus and gave him a glimpse of how the online classes were run.

When Jeonghan had told Jun that Chan was smart, he’d been talking mostly from what he’d gleaned during their conversation on the phone however after spending an hour with him, listening to him talk about his studies and hearing the genuine excitement in his voice as well as seeing how quickly and proficiently he was able to answer and explain anything he was asked, he realized that he’d been right. Chan was indeed quite intelligent; too smart to just be taking the GED. He should be in school full time, perhaps even considering college. He filed the thought away to bring up with Seungcheol later on.

Though their hour went well, Jeonghan did have one major complaint: the noise. Between the hip-hop blasting through the speakers, the TV, the clack of the pool balls and the annoying ringing from the pinball machine, Jeonghan felt like a champagne bottle on the verge of popping its cork. It was so bad that he and Chan had had to resort to speaking into each other’s ears to be heard. Jeonghan glanced over at Seungcheol more than once but he wasn’t paying any attention to them. He was with the pool crew, leaning against the wall with a glass of amber liquid in his hand. It was only for Chan’s sake that Jeonghan didn’t explode. He didn’t want to startle the boy or give him a wrong impression of himself.

By 2:30am, they were packing up, having sorted out a schedule and made plans for their first official class the following day since Jeonghan would be off work and could come over during daylight hours.

Perhaps Seungcheol had been keeping tabs on him after all because as soon as he rose and slung his messenger back over his shoulder, Seungcheol appeared at his side.

“Ready to go?”

“Yeah. We’ve had a chat, come up with a game plan,” he said, smiling over at Chan, “and we’ll begin tomorrow, if that’s okay?”

Seungcheol smiled widely. “Excellent.”

“There is one thing,” he began, continuing only when Seungcheol cocked his brow but remained silent. “Look, Seungcheol, far be it for me to tell you how to run your…house. I know that this is your HQ and that you live here but if this is how things are every day then we’re going to have a problem. We couldn’t even hear each other speak over the noise; there’s no way we’re going to be able to get any work done. It’s beyond me how Chan’s even been managing so far with this ruckus.”

Although he hadn’t meant to sound accusing or speak loudly, Jeonghan became aware that the _ruckus_ he’d just referred to was nowhere to be found and he suddenly had the attention of the entire room.

Ignoring the prickling in his skin as a result of all the eyes boring into him, he concluded with, “Something needs to be done. I’ll leave it up to you as to what that is.”

Shifting his gaze over to where Mingyu and Wonwoo stood tall, silent and expressionless, he said, “I’m ready to go, please.”

It might have been presumptuous of him, especially considering that he’d arrived with Seungcheol and two different minions, but he didn’t feel like subjecting himself to Bitchy any longer than necessary and even though he didn’t _really_ know them, he felt like he’d developed a sort of camaraderie with MinWon.

Of course they didn’t answer to Jeonghan – he was nobody and nothing to them – so as a unit, they turned to Seungcheol, their lord and master, awaiting instruction, which they received in the form of a brief nod. Only then did they make a move towards Jeonghan.

Feeling suddenly self-conscious and desperate to remove himself from the palpably tense environment, Jeonghan said a soft “Thanks” to Seungcheol before turning to Chan. “See you tomorrow, Chan,” he said with a forced smile.

Chan, visibly aware of the change in the temperature of the room, smiled painfully. “See you tomorrow.”

Throwing Seungcheol one last glance, Jeonghan followed Mingyu and Wonwoo out the door.

He’d just stepped out into the hallway when he heard a loud, irate voice squawk, “Who does this bitch think he is?”

 

It was 4:00pm the following day when he climbed into Seungcheol’s now all-too familiar black BMW.

MinWon were irritatingly on time, as usual. Not that he wanted to be kept waiting but if they _were_ late, at least once, then he’d know for sure that they were in fact human, not robots like they sometimes made him think they were.

Stifling a yawn, he settled back into the plush, leather seats, closing his eyes for the duration of the ride.

He’d gotten home close to 5:00am after working the late shift and had promptly collapsed onto his bed and into a deep sleep, from which he’d been awakened at 12:00 by his alarm clock. He’d wanted to be cognizant for a few hours before heading off to meet Chan.

He’d texted Chan and told him have MinWon – he’d requested them specifically – pick him up at the spot that they usually dropped him off. It was times like this that having Seungcheol’s number would come in handy. He _could_ ask him for it later, he supposed.

He must have dozed a little because a car door opening and closing had him springing awake just before his own door opened and Mingyu announced, “We’re here.”

Seungcheol hadn’t come along for the ride, which had surprised him somewhat, but he was there when Jeonghan stepped out, waiting to greet him.

He smiled as he said hello, falling into step beside Jeonghan.

Mingyu and Wonwoo climbed back into the car and drove off.

Squashing his curiosity, Jeonghan preceded Seungcheol into the freight elevator, keeping his eyes trained on the ground until it came to a stop on the top floor.

He started down the hall, feet automatically taking him towards the loft, but was suddenly brought to a halt halfway down by Seungcheol’s insistent hand on his elbow.

“In here,” he said, indicating a white door that Jeonghan had never noticed before. Now, he could pass it off as having missed it since the previous times he’d been there – the first notwithstanding since he’d been unconscious during his arrival – had been at night and he’d been tired after his shift but the hallway was always lit and Jeonghan knew for a fact that there was no way he’d have missed it, no matter how tired he’d been. A door that hadn’t been there less than twenty-four hours ago had suddenly appeared.

Seungcheol opened the door and stepped aside to allow Jeonghan to pass.

Jeonghan walked in and it was all he could do not to gasp and goggle.

Someway, somehow, Seungcheol had built a classroom.

It wasn’t big, maybe 20X20 feet, but it was neat, off-white walls decorated with a colourful world map on one side, a low book-shelf against another. There were four desks, two on each side of the center aisle, very similar to the ones he’d had back in his high school days. At the front of the class facing the students’ desks was the teacher’s, a white board on the wall behind it. The desk was a rich, deep mahogany. Jeonghan couldn’t even begin to guess how much it had cost. Lastly, there was a small mini-fridge stocked with water, soda and yogurt.

“Chan helped decorate,” Seungcheol supplied, hands tucked into his pockets as he rocked back on his heels. “I figured he should at least have some say in the matter since this is all for him.” He knocked on the wall. “It’s soundproof too.”

Jeonghan, still speechless, simply nodded. He trailed his fingers along the mahogany desk, appreciating the smooth sheen of the wood.

“So…Teach. Is everything to your liking?”

Jeonghan paused. He knew that Seungcheol loved his brother and that Chan’s happiness was very important to him. That he’d let Chan create his ideal learning environment was a testament to that love. However, Jeonghan couldn’t ignore – wouldn’t allow himself to – the fact that in part, however small, this was also for him. Seungcheol was proving himself to him, yet again, and _dammit_ he was impressed.

Not that he was about to admit it.

Schooling his features, he turned back to Seungcheol but as their eyes met his expression unconsciously softened, a small smile curving his lips.

“It’ll do.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Seungcheol-centric chapter.

It took them a while to adjust to one another – unlike Seungcheol and his crew, Chan was incredibly shy and quiet – but by the end of their second week together, the boy had relaxed enough to open up to Jeonghan.

Jeonghan was surprised but delighted to discover how animated the boy could be, particularly when speaking about something he was passionate about. And he had a lot of passions, Jeonghan realized. The reason for his quietude was because he was incredibly under-stimulated in his current environment.

Several times, Jeonghan found himself wondering what had led to Seungcheol becoming Chan’s guardian; why the boy wasn’t in school. Had their parents died? Had Seungcheol been forced to raise him? Was that the reason he’d gone into a life of criminal activity: to provide for his little brother? That didn’t explain Chan not being in school, though. That, more than anything, bothered Jeonghan the most. It was obvious that Seungcheol supported Chan’s academic endeavors – he’d hired Jeonghan after all – but that made the fact that he wasn’t enrolled in high-school even more curious.

He had no doubt that Seungcheol was doing his best, as best he knew how anyway, but putting a roof over Chan’s head and food in his stomach wasn’t enough. Jeonghan noticed a marked improvement in his disposition since their tutoring had begun and he had only to look at Seungcheol and see the fondness on his face when he looked at his brother to know that he’d noticed it too.

Though he still thought it best that he stick to doing his job and minding his own business, he’d resigned himself to the fact that he was going to have to bring up the issue of Chan’s education at some point. He was simply trying to decide what the best approach might be.

The opportunity presented itself one evening when he’d finished a session with Chan and Seungcheol said that he would drive him home himself since he had business in the city.

Jeonghan said goodbye to the boy, ruffling his hair as he’d gotten used to once he realized that the boy also lacked – and craved – physical affection, and followed Seungcheol to the car.

The ride into the city was mostly silent, Seungcheol inquiring briefly as to the progress of Chan’s tutoring, to which Jeonghan had nothing but good things to say.

They were approaching his stop when Seungcheol suddenly broke the silence, saying, “Have dinner with me.”

Jeonghan’s automatic response was _no_. It wasn’t a good idea, plain and simple. He’d already gotten far too accustomed, even comfortable, with Seungcheol and his boys.

On the heels of that came the reminder that he’d been waiting for the chance to discuss Chan with his brother and this was the perfect opportunity. Seungcheol would be relaxed, having gotten something he’d been wanting for a while, which should make it easier for Jeonghan to wheedle the information he wanted out of him.

Plus, he was starving. He didn’t have to work that night and he’d planned on a quick pot of instant ramyun, a crappy movie, and then bed anyway. Dinner with Seungcheol was a suitable alternative.

“Sure,” he finally replied, smiling slightly. “Why not?”

He glimpsed a brief flash of pure joy on Seungcheol’s face before he covered it up, settling on a confident smile.

Seungcheol changed course, taking them through the city, bright lights contrasting against the dark sky, to a surprisingly upscale area.

When they pulled up in front of a looming hotel, which Jeonghan knew to be five-star, he froze, wondering if Seungcheol was in the right place.

Before he’d managed to compose himself, Seungcheol was already out of the car and walking around to the other side to open his door for him. Once Jeonghan was out, Seungcheol tossed his keys to the valet – Jeonghan had never been to a hotel with valet parking before – and gripped Jeonghan’s elbow, guiding him to the large, golden doors currently being held open by two doormen.

When Seungcheol had suggested dinner, Jeonghan had thought that they’d go to a café or maybe even a sidewalk vendor. He couldn’t say what kind of establishments gangsters patronized but he certainly hadn’t expected such grandeur and elegance.

He was dumbstruck the entire ride up in the elevator, barely able to take in his surroundings before he found himself walking into the restaurant on the top floor.

As they walked in, the M _aître D_ greeted Seungcheol with a smile and by name, which startled Jeonghan even more. It seemed unreal.

They were given a window seat overlooking the city and a waiter filled their water glasses before departing to get their drinks, which Seungcheol had ordered for both of them since Jeonghan still hadn’t found his voice.

“I wondered if I’d ever see you speechless,” Seungcheol murmured, obviously amused. “If I’d known that this was all it would take, I’d have taken you to dinner sooner.”

“This is…” Jeonghan began dumbly.

“Not what you expected?” Seungcheol finished for him. “I get that a lot.”

“Do you do this often then?” Jeonghan asked before he caught himself, covering up the slip by taking a huge sip of water.

Seungcheol spread his hands and shrugged. “I’m an unattached young man. I get lonely sometimes.”

Jeonghan swallowed that information with another sip of water.

Seungcheol had every right to do whatever he wanted. He was, as he’d pointed out, _unattached_.

“However… Before you allow that beautiful but far too suspicious mind of yours to go thinking the worst, I can assure you that I haven’t been the least bit interested in meeting or spending time with anyone since the day I set eyes on you at the _Cove_.”

Heat bloomed in Jeonghan’s cheeks and he hated that Seungcheol’s words made him feel flattered. He shouldn’t care, he didn’t think he did, but he must if he felt like preening like a fucking peacock.

Thankfully, the waiter returned with their drinks – a bottle of white wine, _interesting_ – and saved him from having to respond.

The wine was poured and after Seungcheol gave his nod of approval, the waiter left them alone once more.

Before Seungcheol could say anything about them again, Jeonghan blurted, “Can I ask you something? You can refuse to answer if you like, that’s fine.”

Brows furrowing slightly, Seungcheol nodded, taking a sip of his wine.

Jeonghan paused a moment, chewing his bottom lip thoughtfully, before finally taking the plunge. “Chan…How did he come to live with you? And why isn’t he in school?”

If Seungcheol was surprised by the question, he didn’t show it. In fact, a small smile curved his lips.

“I figured you’d have some questions about that.” Sighing, he set his wine glass down, leaning back in his seat. “It’s a long story, actually.”

“We have time,” Jeonghan said slowly.

Seungcheol nodded. “Where to begin… Well, I won’t go all the way back to the beginning because I was too young back then to know or understand what was going on but long story short, my dad died when I was seven. We weren’t rich but we weren’t poor either. We’d always had everything we needed. I’d never gone without. But my mother was a housewife, had never worked since she and dad were high-school sweethearts, had married young and he’d always provided for them, and after he passed she was adrift. She didn’t know how to be alone, didn’t know how to take care of herself much less her _and_ me. Eventually money started running out and since she had no qualifications as such, she could only get menial part time jobs. It wasn’t enough to keep up our lifestyle so she started selling off our possessions. Mostly dad’s stuff at first: anything that was worth something. Then her jewelry, which I would hear her crying over. Her wedding ring was the last to go. Electronics, furniture... The house was practically empty but for our beds and kitchen appliances. And then one day she came home, smiling and glowing in a way I hadn’t seen since dad died. She’d met someone.

I was only eight then, dad had only been gone for a year, and it was hard to think of mom being with someone else but I could see how happy he made her, this new man in her life. I couldn’t begrudge her that. And slowly, piece by piece, the house started filling back up again and I figured anyone who’s willing to do that for us must be the real deal. I hadn’t met him yet but he’d already kind of won me over. Children can be so naïve…”

His voice was somewhat wistful when he said the last line, as if he longed for or missed that innocence.

“When I finally met him, he lived up to my expectations. He was nice, funny. He’d brought me a bike because my birthday had just passed. I noticed certain things that first day, the way he would _suggest_ that she do this or that, get him something from the fridge or improve on the way something tasted, but I was a child and didn’t think anything of it. They were signs of things to come but I was too young to interpret them.

She was already pregnant with Chan when they got married. I can’t say that he was the _reason_ they got married. Knowing what I know now, I think it would’ve turned out the way it did regardless. It’s just who he was. The first few years after Chan was born were great. We were a perfect little family. My grandmother died when he was two, the only family my mom had left, and she was a mess but grandma had been happy to go knowing that we would be provided for and well taken care of. Little did she know…

I was twelve or thirteen when things really started to change. Or maybe they’d been changing all along and I didn’t notice because I didn’t know what to look for. I had a nice life, a cute little brother, fancy games and another new bike since I’d outgrown the first one. It didn’t matter that he spoke to mom too harshly sometimes, criticized her until her eyes swam with unshed tears or that she flinched when he raised his voice. It was okay if he drank a little too much on the weekends. He worked hard: he deserved it. Then he lost his job...”

Seungcheol laughed humorlessly. “I don’t know what it is about men and their fragile egos that turns them into monsters if life throws them a curveball.”

Jeonghan remained quiet, not wanting to disrupt him and honestly not knowing what to say. This was so much more than he’d expected to learn about the man sitting across from him, and there was more to come. His heart already ached for the boy Seungcheol had once been.

“He tried to pretend that everything was fine at first, that we were still the perfect family. But I’d noticed him being home more often, I knew that he wasn’t going to work, and I remembered what had happened when my father died. I didn’t mind if we had to cut back. I didn’t need new toys or games, didn’t need to show off to my friends. We didn’t need to go on shopping trips, etc. There was nothing wrong with living on a budget and restricting our spending until he was on his feet again. I even offered to get a part time job. I was old enough and some of my friends had them.

That was the first time he hit me. I thought I’d been doing a nice thing, letting him know that I was willing to do my share and that me and mom had gotten through hard times before so we could definitely do it again, as a family this time, but I guess I was wrong. He sure as hell didn’t see it that way. I’d never been hit before in my life so it came as a shock. Sure, I may have caught an elbow or a fist while wrestling with friends or playing soccer but that was all in good fun. This was different. It was intended to hurt, to teach, to remind me of my _place_. I’d offended his fragile ego. And it wouldn’t be the first time: my offending him or him taking it out on me.

He apologized the first time, told me not to worry about grown up things and that I shouldn’t speak to him like that. He was the man of the house and he’d take care of things. Hadn’t he been looking after us since my dad died and left us with nothing? I was smart enough, and honestly still too shocked, to just nod my head and go to my room.

That was the only incident for a while and I allowed myself to lock it away in my mind. Maybe he’d just been upset that day. He wouldn’t do it again. And he didn’t for a while. But he did start picking on my mom more, undermining her self-esteem, making her feel like she couldn’t do anything right, wasn’t worth anything. One night, I caught him gripping her arm tightly and I remember being so confused because I thought they loved each other and people who loved each other weren’t supposed to be like that. My father had never, not once, touched me or my mom in an angry or violent way. I didn’t know or understand that way of life.

It only got worse. The more frustrated he got, the more he took it out on her. I imagine you’ve seen enough dramas to be able to fill in the blanks.”

When Jeonghan nodded, he continued.

“By the time I was in high school, our relationship was volatile. I was bigger now and too grown to not understand what was really going on, to not see him for the pathetic excuse for a human being that he was. I called him out on it once, when he hit my mom right in front of me. Chan was sitting on the floor, knees tucked into his chest, crying. He’d been shouting at her, the usual filth, and Chan has always been a bit sensitive to loud voices. The more he cried, the angrier his father got and the more he took it out on my mother. I stepped in to try to get him off her and he turned on me. I was older, bigger, but I didn’t know the first thing about fighting or protecting myself. He had the advantage of being fifty pounds overweight and fueled on alcohol.

I didn’t stand a chance.

When the dust cleared, I had a black eye and a fractured rib. He took me to the hospital himself and told them that I’d fallen off my bike. The next day, he drove his car over said bike so that I had to walk to school every day. That’s when I knew that I had to convince my mom to leave. He was escalating and it would only be a matter of time before he was driving over one of us. If I had to drop out of school and get a job to take care of us, I’d do it. I was willing to do practically anything.

There was only one flaw in that plan: Chan.

I always wondered if maybe it had just been me and her, if she would’ve upped and left on her own. Just packed us up and gone. My grandmother had left her house to the both of us. It was closed up but we could live there until we got on our feet, or sell it if need be. It wasn’t anything big or special but it was something and it was ours. We had options. But for as much as he was a bastard, Chan’s dad loved him. He was his pride and joy, his greatest accomplishment. There was no way that he was going to let the three of us leave and mom would never leave without him.

Still, I had to try. So I got an after-school job. Jihoon – you know him, the one you thought was a kid – got me a position where he worked in a fried chicken place. The pay was shit but it was better than nothing. I’d told my mom that it was to replace my bike and I didn’t tell her how much I was making. I needed a cover because I suspected that if he knew my full salary and knew I was saving up for us to leave, he’d just take the money. And he did a few times, take my money. What he didn’t know was that I had been giving Jihoon a quarter of my salary to keep for me in his bank account and I had two stashes in my room: the one that I knew that he knew about and another one in case I ever needed cash. He still wasn’t working and we’d resorted to selling off some stuff by then – which set him off, of course – so I never asked him for anything because I knew that he couldn’t afford to give it to me. What money he did have was being spent on bills and alcohol.

One day, I got home late from work – there’d been a rush of orders towards the end of my shift – and found him caging mom in the kitchen. He was hunkering over her, yelling, and I could see her basically cowering, shielding her face because she was convinced that he was going to hit her. He had, by then, a few times. When I finally caught his words, I realized that he was talking about money. Specifically, _my_ money. He’d found my second stash. He was going on about me hiding it from them instead of contributing; how he was supporting me and when the family needed me I was holding out. Well, I was already tired and probably not thinking too straight and I just thought… _fuck it_.

So I walked in – I stopped in the doorway because if he was going to do anything, I wanted him to have to come to me – and told him that if he needed the money so badly, all he had to do was ask. I’d be more than happy to take over as the man of the house.” Seungcheol chuckled. “You can imagine how he reacted to that. I was ready for him this time, though. He didn’t know that I’d taken up boxing at school. Truthfully, my gym teacher suggested it after I came to school with a black eye. Appearances were very important to my stepfather but it didn’t seem like he’d ever thought about what others would think when his stepson showed up to school with a shiner. I always found that kind of funny.

Anyway, I’d gotten pretty good with my fists at that point so I waited for him. I let him make the first move, even let it land – it’s the only way I could justify self-defense – and then I let him have it. Nothing too bad, mind you, but enough for him to know what it felt like to be on the receiving end. Enough for him to remember and think twice next time. And he must have because he never came at me again. He still made my life miserable, trashing my room, selling my stuff. Anything that was important to me, that I wanted to take with me when I left, I gave to Jihoon for safe-keeping. I refused to let him get to me. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. And I could see how much he hated me every time he looked at me but he never dared put his hands on me again. But because he couldn’t take it out on me anymore, he made things worse for my mom.

My senior year, I had to take her to the clinic for a “sprained wrist”. There were other bruises, of course, and she was rail thin, her face drawn, the spark in her eyes that my dad used to write poems about was long gone. The pity on the nurse’s face…I couldn’t take it anymore. I asked her right there and then to run away with me. We’d wait until he was out of the house, pack our stuff and go. She said that we couldn’t leave Chan; I said we wouldn’t. She said that so long as Chan was with us, we’d never be safe. And it was better to stay. He loved Chan, he was always good to him. I asked her what kind of life Chan would have if he continued to see her being treated that way? What kind of example his father was setting for him. Did she want him to turn into his dad when he got older?

It didn’t matter what I said. It was obvious that she wouldn’t leave. I didn’t want to give up but Jihoon talked some sense into me: my mother was a grown woman and she had to _want_ to be saved. She had to be willing to save herself. If she wouldn’t do it for herself then chances were she wouldn’t do it for me. And maybe she was afraid of starting over again. She’d done it once and look how that had turned out.

The day I graduated, we were the picture of a perfect family, even if we were anything but. Somehow he’d found the money for new clothes for everyone, taken my mom to get her hair done. I don’t know if he robbed someone but for the first time in years, I saw a glimpse of the person my mother used to be. It broke my heart because I knew that it was temporary. But I guess she appreciated the fairytale, even if she only got to be Cinderella for a day.

I’d decided to leave that day. It was my graduation day in more ways than one. I had my money ready and I’d packed before leaving for the ceremony. As it turned out, it was the perfect opportunity for all of us to leave because my stepfather had been hanging out with some of the other kids’ dads during the celebrations and they’d all decided to have a guy’s night out. He’d never pass up the opportunity for free booze, naturally. I couldn’t believe my luck.

I waited until he was gone, then I grabbed a suitcase, started packing mom’s things, told her to get Chan ready. For a split-second there was a look in her eye and Jeonghan, I swear… I _swear_ she was going to do it. She’d had enough, she was tired, and she finally saw a way out. But as quickly as it had come, it was gone and she just stood there, shaking her head. Then she started unpacking her things. I was so angry. I started yelling at her, accusing her of liking the abuse because she refused to do anything to stop it. What kind of mother stayed? What kind of mother would subject her child to that? Would stand by and watch her child be abused as well? She took it all in, saying nothing. When I was done, I realized that I was no different, no better, because wasn’t I doing the same thing to her that he did? And then she said it. Just one word but that was all it took. _“Go”._ I knew I’d lost her. There was nothing I could say to change her mind.

I went to my room, grabbed my stuff, said goodbye to my childhood, then I went to see my brother. We’d put him to bed before his dad left but he was awake when I went in. He seemed to be waiting for me.” A sad smile settled upon Seungcheol’s lips and his eyes seemed to water. “He had this little case, like a brief case, that they’d bought for him years before. Mom had told him that he could be anything he wanted to be when he grew up and he used to pretend to be a businessman. He’d put some clothes and his favourite teddy and his piggy bank in the case. It couldn’t close because of the piggy bank so he’d been waiting for me to come and sort it out for him. He’d put on his shoes, grabbed his coat. He looked so…expectant. He looked at me like I was some superhero come to save him. And I had to tell him that I couldn’t take him with me. I had to tell him that he had to stay; that this would continue to be his life. He begged me to take him and I was so tempted, Jeonghan. I was so fucking tempted. But I couldn’t. It would be hard enough getting by on my own. At least if mom was with us, she could watch him while I worked and I could watch him while she worked. We could make it. On my own, though… I wasn’t confident enough to take on that responsibility. I was still a kid myself, what was I going to do with a nine year old?

So I told him that he had to be strong, that he had to look after mom because he was all she had left. And I promised to come back for them once I was able to.”

“Did you?” Jeonghan asked softly. He’d already emptied his glass of wine and was working on his second. He hadn’t felt this emotionally drained in a long time but he’d wanted to know, hadn’t he? _Be careful what you ask for_.

Seungcheol nodded. “Twice. When I was twenty and had finally settled. I was part of a crew then, was making decent money. The night I left – after I tucked Chan into bed and waited for him to cry himself to sleep; after I hugged my mom goodbye and prayed that she’d be alive when I returned – to my surprise, Jihoon was waiting for me outside. I’d already collected the stuff he was storing for me, including my money, and I’d told him I’d drop by to see him before I left. I didn’t know that he’d been planning to come with me all along.

His situation was different from mine. There was no abuse, there were just too many people in his family and he kind of got lost in the shuffle. It wasn’t that he didn’t love his family, he just felt that he didn’t know them and they didn’t know him so if he left, it wouldn’t be a big deal. One less mouth to feed. Besides, we’d be better together than either of us would be on our own, he’d said, not that I needed convincing. I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t glad for the company, especially after having to say goodbye to Chan. Jihoon had always been like a brother to me, too, so there’s no one else I would’ve wanted to join me as I embarked on this new chapter in my life.

So we came to Seoul. I don’t have to tell you that it’s not easy to survive in this place. We were practically starving by the time we met our former boss.”

Jeonghan’s eyebrows shot up in question. He’d wondered how Seungcheol came into _power_ , as it were. He was too young to have established such a reputation on his own.

“I’m not going to go into details but we joined up with a crew, our boss was taken out and it was decided that the crew members would go their separate ways. But that meant that there was a vacuum of power here and Jihoon and I were more than willing to fill it. There was still a need for the services we’d provided before our boss’ untimely demise: there was no reason not to take advantage of that. We just cut out some of the more…unsavory aspects of his business. They’d never been our duties, anyway, and there were plenty of others more than happy to provide those services. Eventually, Mingyu and Wonwoo came onboard and one by one, the rest just trickled in and we became what you see today.”

“How lovely,” Jeonghan quipped with a wry twist of his lips.

Seungcheol laughed. “They’re good kids. Seungkwan might take some getting used…”

“Which I don’t plan to,” Jeonghan interjected.

“…but he’s fine once you get to know him. He’s really smart.”

“I’m going to take your word for it.”

Seungcheol sighed and rolled his eyes but his expression was a lot more relaxed now than it had been a minute ago. Jeonghan was glad. It made him uncomfortable to see him tense and…sad. It wasn’t the Seungcheol he’d become used to.

A waiter came just then – Jeonghan was surprised they’d taken that long since it felt like he and Seungcheol had been talking for hours – to take their food order. Since he’d never been there and had no idea what was good, he told Seungcheol he’d have whatever he was having so long as it wasn’t shellfish.

Seungcheol ordered two steak meals and handed back the menus, immediately turning back to Jeonghan. He’d never seen this side of him. The way he dismissed the waiter, the fact that he actually looked like he belonged in such an elegant, ostentatious environment… For the first time, Jeonghan could actually believe that he was some kind of _Boss_. Still more like a businessman than a gangster but a leader nonetheless.

Seungcheol poured fresh glasses of wine, his second and Jeonghan’s third, and took a long, fortifying sip before continuing.

“The first time I went home, I was twenty, like I said. I had money and me and Jihoon were sharing an apartment. It was a small thing, nothing much to speak of, but it was clean and I had my own room. I thought that if mom was finally ready to leave, she and Chan could stay in my room and I could flop on the sofa or share with Jihoon. He was okay with them coming to live with us. Between the two of us, we’d get her on her feet, see Chan through school and everything would work out, right? He went back with me that time; figured he’d let his family know that he was still alive if they cared at all.

I stood outside for a while, just watching. The house looked the same, more worn down but otherwise exactly as I’d left it. But the second mom opened the door and I looked into her eyes, I knew that nothing had changed there either. In fact, taking in the bruises on her neck and her split lip, I figured they’d gotten worse. She was happy to see me, though. She hugged and kissed me, crying all the while. She took me inside and called for Chan. _He_ wasn’t home from work yet. I guess he’d gotten a job in the three years I’d been gone.

Chan was a bit more reserved, maybe still angry that I’d left him behind, but he thawed quickly. He can never stay angry, that kid. It’s both a blessing and a curse. We sat down and she asked me a bunch of questions, wanted to hear all about my life. I glorified it a bit; made her think that I was an apprentice to a powerful, rich man, which I _was_ so it wasn’t technically a lie. Then I asked her how things were at home and the life just went out of her. She said it was fine, good even, giving me that fake smile that I’m sure she gave to anyone who tried to help her. I told her that she should come with me, even if it was just for a visit. She’d get to see Seoul, go shopping. I figured that maybe if she thought my life was in some way glamorous, if she believed that I could really take care of them, maybe she’d really consider it. And if she considered it, maybe she’d actually do it. Once she was out of the house, away from him, we could see about getting her some help. Counseling for sure but anything else she might need. Heaven knew what had been going on there for the past three years.

It only took one look at her face to know that my trip had been a wasted one. That was something else that hadn’t changed. It was like everything stood still in that house. It made me sick.

We talked a bit more but it was really just for show. We’d said all that we really needed to say. When Jihoon was done with his visit, he came by and we got ready to leave. My stepdad came in as I was heading out. He asked me if I’d come back home with my tail between my legs and I told him no, I was good thanks for asking, but I had to get back to Seoul so that I’d make it to work on time the next morning. He didn’t seem happy to hear that, so obviously that made me feel marginally better. I was almost to the street when Chan came barreling out. He wanted to go with me, he whispered. Said he’d been saving all his money for when I came back and that he had a bag packed already.” He paused. “Do you know how that made me feel, Jeonghan? Having to break my little brother’s heart _twice_? Having to leave him there with that man? If mom was dead…”

Seungcheol broke off and Jeonghan remained silent, giving him a minute to collect himself.

“If she was dead, at least I’d have a reason. At least I’d be justified in taking him away, his father be damned. I knew people, I was _connected_ : I could sort the man out. No one would miss him. But so long as mom was there, Chan had to stay. I couldn’t take him away from her.”

Jeonghan smiled sadly. “And yet…”

“And yet.” Seungcheol sipped his wine. “The second time I went back was two years ago, after I’d taken over here. I wasn’t going to take no for an answer this time, I’d told myself. If I had to drag her out kicking and screaming, I’d do it. She’d just have to work on forgiving me but at least I’d know she was safe. And I could protect her and Chan. I finally had power of my own. But…you know what they say about the best laid plans.

It was pretty much as it had been the first time except I went on my own. I’d just gotten the BMW and I drove down, wanting her to see that her son had become someone; that he _could_ take care of her. She didn’t need to worry about that anymore; didn’t have to depend on _him_.

I parked in front, where all and sundry could see, and walked up to the front door. This time around, the decay in the house was obvious. The roof was sagging; the yard was dry; the driveway cracked like something heavy had been dropped on it. The screen door – which my dad had erected himself under my four-year-old supervision – was torn and hanging from its hinges.

When she opened the door, she was a shell of a person: thin, grim, hollow-eyed. I simply stared for a second, wondering where my once beautiful, vibrant mother had disappeared to. This _creature_ ….she wasn’t my mother. There were no hugs or kisses this time, no invitations to come inside. Truth be told, I didn’t want to enter. If the inside looked anything like the outside, like my mother did, that was a horror that my eyes didn’t need to behold.

She asked me what I was doing there and I told her I’d come for her and Chan. I was going to take them to their new home. She just looked at me for a moment and said that my father would be home soon. That…that burned so much. My father had been a great man; a kind, loving man. Not even in the early days when I’d been too young and blind to see him for the monster that he was had I ever thought of _that_ man as my father. Once upon a time he’d been my stepfather, a friend; now he was the man my mother married, her tormentor and jailer; Chan’s father on a good day.

I seriously considered just throwing her over my shoulder and putting her in the car. She was thin and frail and wouldn’t fight back. It’d be so easy. And Chan would gladly come, I was sure of it. He’d forgive me for walking away twice before. But the longer I looked at her, the more it sank in: my mother, the woman in my memories, was long gone. I didn’t know this person. She was a stranger to me. I couldn’t just leave without doing _something_ , though, so I gave her a phone, a burner, and told her to press #1 if she ever needed anything. My number was the only number in it and I’d answer, whenever she called, day or night. I’d come for her, _them_ , all she had to do was say the word.

The phone was my backup plan. Maybe some part of me had known that this would be the outcome. I’d tried to be optimistic but really, there was no reason to expect anything different the second time around. My mother had stopped being my mother a long time ago. Now she was just his wife.

So I gave her the phone, kissed her on the cheek and left. I didn’t want to see Chan. I didn’t want to have to walk away from him a third time. But, little did I know that he’d been watching us the entire time. He’d heard everything.

Last year, one of my… _associates_ called saying that there was a kid looking for me. He was asking everyone he passed by on the street if they knew Choi Seungcheol and where he might find him. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine my baby brother running away from home to come look for me. But that’s exactly what he did.

I told my associate to hold the kid ‘til I got there and I went to see who it was. Imagine my surprise. I was happy to see him at first, especially after he threw himself at me and clung for dear life. Then I was furious. It was dangerous for kids to be out there on their own. He’d done a stupid thing. Eventually I asked him how he found me and he said that he knew I’d come for them and that mom had sent me away. He said that while he didn’t know exactly where I was – Seoul is a large and confusing place, after all – he’d managed to trace my number, the number that I’d programmed into the burner, so he’d triangulated the general area that I was in. He waited until mom was asleep – his father works nights at a warehouse now, apparently – and then he left. He was prepared to knock on every single door to find me if he’d had to.

I was happy to see him but I knew that he couldn’t stay and I told him as much. He threatened to run away again if I sent him back and that next time, he wouldn’t come to find me. He’d disappear completely and start over somewhere new like I did. I could see in his eyes that he meant it. His father might not have broken him the way he did my mother but he’d damaged him all the same. There was no way I could let him go again. So…here we are,” he finished.

Jeonghan absorbed his words a minute, letting them sink in, but he still wasn’t satisfied. “That doesn’t explain why you won’t enroll him in high school.”

Seungcheol smiled crookedly. “I offered but there are…complications. You see, although he’d tried to get his documents – passport, birth certificate – he couldn’t find them. When he’d asked mom, pretending that he needed them for something at school, she said that he’d have to wait until his father got home. Apparently it’s locked away in a safe that only he has the code for. So he was forced to leave without it. I could get him copies, legitimate ones. I could get him a whole new identity, appoint myself his guardian. But there are risks, in the event that his father is looking for him, which I have no doubt that he is.

I don’t know why I didn’t just kill him,” Seungcheol lamented with a bitter laugh.

Jeonghan nibbled his lip thoughtfully before asking, “Why _didn’t_ you?”

Seungcheol shrugged, emitting a soft sigh. “This might come as a surprise but I’ve never killed anyone. And though I think that I _could_ kill him and not feel a modicum of remorse, I don’t want to damn my soul. Not for him; not after he’s already taken so much from me.

But to answer your question, it was ultimately Chan’s decision. I would’ve done anything he asked, I have so much to make up for, but he was happy to just be here with me, to be out of that house, and he could still get his diploma online so it seemed an acceptable compromise.”

“I understand.” And he did. Each brother had made sacrifices for the other. Jeonghan had no idea what that was like, being an only child, but he couldn’t help admiring them. They must love each other a lot. “Have you seen or spoken to your mother since?”

“When I decided to let Chan stay, I made him call to let them know that he was safe. Of course his father asked if he was with me but the number was untraceable so there’s no way that he could prove it. A couple months later, I was in the area on business and stopped by. I’d only intended to look at the house. The outer façade had become a pretty accurate representation of the inside and I felt like it could tell me what I wanted to know without me knocking on the door. I must have sat there for hours, just looking at this ugly, old, piece of shit house. The home in my memories, the place of my childhood, couldn’t be more removed from this new reality. Then I saw him leave for work and before I knew it, I was walking up to the door and knocking, the very thing I didn’t want to do. She looked about the same. Whether that was a good thing or not, I really couldn’t say. I told her that Chan was with me. I just wanted her to know so that she wouldn’t worry. She didn’t say anything, didn’t really acknowledge me other than to politely ask if I wanted to come in. I realized that we were really strangers to each other at this point. I said no, wished her a good evening and left. I think a piece of me died that night.

_But_ , on the plus side – if you can even call it that – there’s been no manhunt for me, my name hasn’t come up in any police reports – well, no more than to be expected – so I think I can safely say that she didn’t rat me out. I guess that somewhere deep inside her heart, a part of my mother still lives on. She must have known that Chan was better off with me than with her and this was her way of looking out for him.”

What did one even say in the face of such blistering heartache? Jeonghan didn’t know. He wasn’t the most emotional person on the best of days and he’d never been able to handle other people’s emotions very well, so he did what he’d been doing all along: said nothing and sipped his wine.

Finally, their food arrived – seriously what was up with the service in this place? – so they set aside conversation in order to savor it.

The service might not be five-star worthy but the food certainly was. Jeonghan had never bit into steak so tender and succulent before. It all but melted in his mouth.

They ate in companiable silence: the only sounds the slight scraping of their forks on their plates and the occasional moan that Jeonghan couldn’t quite suppress. He wasn’t the least bit ashamed, though. The food was that fucking good.

Afterwards, they finished the bottle of wine. Jeonghan was languid and rosy-cheeked by this point, the result of good food and a little too much of an excellent vintage. It was a great way to cap off the day.

“Dessert?” Seungcheol questioned.

Jeonghan shook his head. “I don’t think I’m going to need to eat for a few days. That steak…”

Seungcheol grinned. “Good, isn’t it?”

“More than,” Jeonghan grudgingly admitted. “Probably the best meal I’ve ever had.”

“Wait until you taste the lamb,” Seungcheol teased.

Jeonghan groaned at the thought of more – albeit tasty – food and Seungcheol laughed, hailing the waiter for their cheque.

Seungcheol paid and Jeonghan tried not to notice the rather exclusive credit-card he used to do so. Seungcheol had obviously done well for himself since he’d left home and even better since he’d taken over from his old boss but it didn’t answer the burning question that Jeonghan couldn’t help wanting to ask: where the hell was the money coming from?

Once they were ensconced in the deep leather seats of the car, Jeonghan did his best to stay awake. He was like a baby: once he’d been fed, he needed a nap. His belly hadn’t been this full, his appetite this satisfied, in a long while. Not since…

Shaking off the thought before his disarmed mind could wander down roads he had no intention of revisiting, he forced himself to sit uncomfortably straight in order to stay awake.

He was surprised, but grateful, that Seungcheol didn’t try to make conversation. He wondered if it was because he too was thinking about things or people that haunted him.

Jeonghan glanced over at him, momentarily struck with guilt for having forced Seungcheol to rehash horrible events in his life. All because he was curious. He really was a selfish bastard sometimes.

They were entering his neighbourhood, approaching the traffic light before his stop.

Remembering that he needed to do some shopping, he said, “Hey, you can drop me off at the supermarket just after the light. With all the good food I’ve had tonight, I forgot that my cupboards are empty,” he joked.

Seungcheol pulled up as directed and turned off the engine. “I’ll wait for you.”

Jeonghan shook his head. “That’s okay. My place is just down the block.”

Seungcheol frowned, glancing around the area. “Are you sure?”

Jeonghan nodded. “This is a low-crime neighbourhood, Seungcheol. There are no boogeymen out to get me.” He picked his messenger bag off the floor and slung the strap over his shoulder. “Besides, I need to walk off some of these calories. If I get fat, Hyesung will fire me.”

He turned to open the door but Seungcheol’s hand on his arm stopped him.

He spun around, brow raised in question, just as Seungcheol leaned in. He had enough time to stop him, more than enough, but he didn’t.

For the briefest of moments, Jeonghan’s eyelashes fluttered, his lips parting with a soft sigh beneath the warm press of Seungcheol’s. For the briefest of moments, he allowed himself a taste of what could be.

Then he remembered who he was with, why they were together, and his resolve steeled once more.

He tightened his lips until Seungcheol pulled back, confusion clearly written on his face.

“Don’t do that again,” Jeonghan said. His voice wasn’t cold but it was stern, leaving no doubt as to how serious he was.

Not giving Seungcheol a chance to respond – though from the stunned look on his face, it didn’t seem like one was immediately coming – he opened the door and climbed out.

Before Jeonghan shut the door, though, he leaned in, expression now softer, and said, “Thank you. For tonight.” For the food and being honest with me, he thought, hoping that Seungcheol understood that his gratitude was all-encompassing.

He closed the door gently and hurried across the sidewalk.

He paused again, framed by the open automatic doors, to look back at Seungcheol who he couldn’t see through the midnight tint of the window but who he knew could see him, before disappearing into the supermarket.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was like giving birth. Thank God it's done!
> 
> Now, here you go. 30 MS Word pages just for you.

 

  

“You realize that you’re basically Julia Roberts in _Pretty Woman_ , right?”

Jeonghan scoffed. “Don’t be dramatic.”

“I’m serious,” Jun said, walking into his bedroom, hair damp and a small towel wrapped around his neck. “This is how it starts. Dinner dates in first-class restaurants. Next, he’ll be taking you on shopping sprees, vacations and buying you jewelry. All the classic player moves to woo you.”

They were having a long-overdue BFF sleepover after their shift at the bar. Jeonghan had already showered and was sprawled out on the bed: limbs loose, mouth relaxed, eyes beginning to drift close.

It was the day after his da- _dinner_ with Seungcheol and Jeonghan had made the mistake – after a lengthy period of weighing the pros and cons – of telling Jun about it. He’d excluded Seungcheol’s life story because it wasn’t his business to tell but he’d regaled him with the glory of the food and the ostentatious ambiance of the restaurant.

“Wasn’t she a prostitute?” Jeonghan asked pointedly.

“Exactly!” Jun exclaimed, tossing his towel aside and flinging himself down on top of Jeonghan. He supported his weight on his elbows, nose inches from Jeonghan’s. “Then, when you’re nice and buttered up, he’s going to ravage that delicious booty of yours.”

“I’m not for sale,” Jeonghan said flatly, pushing at Jun’s chest.

Ignoring the hint, Jun, ground his pelvis into Jeonghan’s. “Does _he_ know that?”

“Pretty sure he knows that I’m not that kind of guy by now. And, to be fair, I don’t think he’s ever had to pay for sex in his life. I don’t see him sinking that low.” Jeonghan pushed more insistently at Jun. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“What does it look like?” Jun asked, unashamed.

Jeonghan glowered. “It looks like _you’re_ trying to get at my booty. This is supposed to be a friendly sleepover, remember? No FWB benefits. If you want benefits, you’re going to have to sleep on the couch because it’s too fucking late and I’m too fucking tired to travel.”

“Oh, come on, Hannie,” Jun whined. “It’s a dumb rule and you know it. There’s absolutely no reason why we can’t get some relief then snuggle after.”

“You know why,” Jeonghan retorted.

“Yes, but we know each other well enough not to get our wires crossed. Maybe if it were other people but we’re not: we’re us. We’re like brothers…”

Jeonghan raised a sharp brow at that.

“…who fuck. Sexual pleasure only, no cumbersome emotional shit.”

“What’s the point of having rules if you’re going to break them whenever the mood strikes?”

“You can make an exception for once,” Jun tried to reason.

Jeonghan wasn’t having it. “No. Pick one: cuddles in bed or sex and the couch. And hurry. I have to meet Chan later.”

Jun glared down at him for a long moment – to which Jeonghan remained unflinching – before lowering his head and pecking at the corner of Jeonghan’s mouth.

Jeonghan relaxed into it, switching gears in his head. He wouldn’t admit it aloud, although he was positive that Jun already knew, but he liked having orgasms just before he fell asleep. It was like a sedative: the best, most natural kind. Afterwards, he always slept deeply, dreamlessly, and stayed asleep through the night.

He was surprised when Jun didn’t kiss him properly, choosing instead to trail his lips across his jaw and down his neck, where he latched on.

“No hickeys,” he warned, his body beginning to respond to Jun’s steady grinding. “I don’t want everyone giving me _the look_ tomorrow.”

Jun sighed but complied, swapping his lips for his tongue and teeth, which tickled quite frankly.

A sneaky hand skimmed down Jeonghan’s stomach, sliding into his boxers and taking a loose hold of his already half-hard member. Jun’s strokes were teasing, slow and light, making it obvious that he intended to take his time and draw it out. Jeonghan instinctively knew that it was his way of getting payback for being forced to sleep on the sofa.

Jun released his grip on Jeonghan, fingers trailing lower, paying attention to his balls for few seconds before gently rubbing the skin behind them.

At that, Jeonghan groaned softly, his legs falling open. He was fully erect now; sleep receding to the corners of his mind.

 _Damn_ _Jun and his insatiable sex drive._

Just as Jeonghan was about to cup Jun’s face and drag him down for a proper kiss, Jun pulled his hand from his boxers and rolled off to the side.

“I changed my mind,” he declared. “I’d rather sleep in my own bed after all.”

Jeonghan froze: half aroused, half on the verge of murdering his best friend. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

That _bastard_. This had probably been his plan all along.

Throwing himself onto Jun’s back, Jeonghan growled in his ear, “ _Fine_. If this is how you want to play it. You can sleep here…” He shoved Jun’s briefs down over the swell of his cheeks and slapped his ass, grinning wickedly when Jun moaned and humped the mattress. “…but not before _you_ have your “delicious booty” ravaged, _asshole_.”

 

 

After his dinner with Seungcheol, Jeonghan had feared that things would become awkward between them.

He _had_ rejected him after all.

But, much to his relief, Seungcheol was cool about it and continued to act cordially towards him: flirting and smiling charmingly. He still came to see him at the bar, still had MinWon drive him home. Everything was normal.

So it was a little strange when, a week later, he seemed to just… _disappear_.

On the first night that Seungcheol failed to show up at the bar, Jeonghan didn’t think much of it. It wasn’t the first time and MinWon were still at their usual table. He was probably just busy.

The second night, it piqued his curiosity and it was on the tip of his tongue to ask – casually, of course – but he swallowed the inquiry. It was none of his business, right?

It was after his third tutoring session for the week at the loft when everyone else was there except Seungcheol that he couldn’t hold his tongue anymore. It was 4:00am and Seungcheol wasn’t home. Where the hell else could he be?

Obviously nothing had happened to him because it was business as usual in the loft. Endless noise and chatter; Bitchy – whose name he’d been forced to learn was Seungkwan – whining on and on in the background. Chan – who would’ve been most affected if anything were amiss – was his usual quiet-but-smiling self.

Everything had to be fine…but Seungcheol still wasn’t there.

That night, while he and Chan were shut away in their study room, Chan preoccupied doing some Math sums he’d compiled for him, he decided to do some digging.

“Chan-ah.”

Chan glanced up at him.

“I haven’t seen your brother all week.” He smiled warmly, hoping to assure Chan that he wasn’t snooping but also that his inquiry meant nothing, just in case Chan were to repeat the conversation to Seungcheol. “I think this is the longest I’ve gone without his blatant flirtations since we met.”

Chan smiled in turn. “He’s away on business.”

 _Business_. “Business?”

Chan nodded, gaze dropping back to his paper as he filled in an answer. “He isn’t usually gone this long, though,” he confided.

“Must be serious business then.”

“I guess.”

He paused for a few seconds before asking, as gently as possible, “Do you think he went to see your mother?”

Chan looked up in surprise. “He told you about her?”

Jeonghan nodded, his cheeks heating from guilt.

Chan only smiled again. “He must really like you then.”

Jeonghan blinked, startled. “Why’s that?”

“He doesn’t talk about her with anyone. Not even me.” There was a hint of hurt in his voice. _He must miss her terribly_ , Jeonghan thought, wondering why Seungcheol wouldn’t talk about her with his brother if no one else. He of all people must know what Chan was feeling.

“So he’s never told any of his…girlfriends or boyfriends about her?” _Really_ , Jeonghan. _How transparent can you be?_

Chan shook his head. “Not that I know of. I’ve never met any of them.”

“What?” Jeonghan was genuinely surprised this time.

“I don’t really think he dates. And no one comes here. No one outside of…” _The business_ , went unsaid. “You’re the first.”

Chan returned to his sums as Jeonghan digested this bit of information.

_I haven’t been the least bit interested in meeting or spending time with anyone since the day I set eyes on you._

He hadn’t thought much of it when Seungcheol had said that. He could’ve been telling the truth; he could’ve been saying what he thought Jeonghan wanted to hear. But if Chan was to be believed – and Jeonghan simply couldn’t conceive of him lying – then it went a bit beyond that didn’t it?

The night Seungcheol’s boys saved him from his attacker, they could’ve just called Hyesung or the bouncer out of the bar. They could’ve taken him to the hospital. But they didn’t. They’d taken him there, to the loft, their HQ. And even though Seungcheol had brushed it off as them not thinking straight, Jeonghan had no doubt that they would’ve had to seek permission from him before bringing in a stranger. No, they’d brought him there because Seungcheol had wanted him there.

Jeonghan was struck by the realization and as much as he tried not to let it go to his head, he couldn’t resist the small smile that tugged at his lips.

Seungcheol, it seemed, was well and truly sprung.

 

 

Diamond Cove was well known for its sheen of class, elegance and its very attractive staff.

It was also quite popular for its themed parties.

There’d only been one such party since Jeonghan had begun working there but he’d been exempted that time since he’d still been new. This time, however, there was no question about his participation. The only choices he had were what colour streaks he wanted in his hair and whether he wanted to wear a tank or vest with his super-tight jeans.

This time around, the party wasn’t really themed, nor was it even actually a party. It was an auction and up for auction was none other than the gorgeous staff of Diamond Cove itself. 50% of the proceeds from the auction would go towards a shelter for at-risk youth; 25% back to the bar and the remaining 25% to the staff. Since it was obvious that some workers would fetch more than others, despite how equally attractive they might all be, it was decided in advance that rather than receiving a fraction of the individual price paid per member, all the money would be pooled and divided equally so that everyone would receive the same sum.

A few of the staff members grumbled and called it unfair, those who were confident that they would receive high bids presumably, but Jeonghan didn’t mind. Whatever he received would be in addition to his regular salary so it was all good as far as he was concerned.

When Saturday night rolled around – since it guaranteed the highest attendance as the busiest night of the week – Jeonghan was surprised to find himself actually looking forward to it. Considering that he usually kept as much distance as possible between himself and the bar’s clientele, and he had no idea who would “win” him, it should’ve been a daunting and altogether repulsive idea but he’d been in good spirits all week and couldn’t see any reason not to enjoy the experience for what it was, not to mention that it benefitted both the shelter and his own bank account.

In the locker-room, he sat patiently while Jia – one of the female bartenders – used hair-chalk to colour the ends of his hair. She’d asked him what he preferred but he’d told her to use her discretion. Truthfully, he didn’t really care. He was going to wash it out before he went to bed anyway. When she was done, he allowed her to _accentuate_ his eyes with some eyeliner but that was where he drew the line.

“Looking good,” Jun drawled, eyes sliding over Jeonghan like water. “I always told you that make-up would suit you. See, I was right!”

“One night only,” Jeonghan said firmly as he slipped his arms through the wide holes of the vest he’d been given, though a smile did tug at his lips. “Don’t get used to it.”

Jun pouted. “You’re no fun.”

Like the rest of them, he wore obscenely fitted jeans that left nothing to the imagination. The tank on top was so loose and thin that he looked more naked _in_ it than he would have out of it, which was exactly why Jeonghan had gone for the gold vest. It didn’t close as there were no buttons but at least his nipples were covered. _And_ it made his shoulders look broader so win/win.

Jun checked himself out in the mirror, grinned at his reflection, then glanced over at Jeonghan. “You ready?”

Jeonghan glanced over at the mirror, blocking Jun out and focusing on his own image. He looked…good. Unlike himself, perhaps, but good.

Maybe he should look at it that way, he thought. Perhaps, for one night only, he could step outside himself and see where it took him.

A slow smile curving his lips, he looked over at his friend. “Let’s do this.”

 

 

It was chaos.

There were too many bodies packed into too small a space – Jeonghan was sure that Hyesung was violating at least one fire safety code – and the noise was ear-splitting but the energy thrumming in the atmosphere was intoxicating and everyone was getting high on it.

Jeonghan stood behind the bar, trying his best to keep up with the orders. Everyone seemed determined to get drunk that night.

“Hey!” someone over his shoulder called.

He looked up to see a gentleman – he considered him that only because he was an older man and wore a tailored suit that actually fit him, unlike some of the other customers who were clearly underlings trying to give the appearance of class – trying to get his attention.

“Can I do a shot off of you?” the man asked.

Unable to help himself, Jeonghan laughed. His first thought was “not in this lifetime or the next” but then he remembered his decision to be more open-minded for the night. Still, having someone suck on his stomach was a bit much.

“How about I do it for you?” a familiar voice asked as a warm body sidled up next to Jeonghan’s, teeth teasingly nibbling at his ear.

It only took one look at the man – eyes widening, nose flaring, tongue licking his lips – to see that he was more than okay with the substitution.

“Thanks,” Jeonghan whispered to Jun, setting aside the drink he’d been preparing to hop onto the bar-top.

Jun grinned wickedly. “Oh honey, this is as much for me as it is for him.”

Jun knocked back a shot of tequila before pouring another one and handing it to Jeonghan. Jeonghan drank it quickly, wincing as the liquid burned its way down his throat. _God_ , he hated tequila.

Jun took the glass from his limp fingers, poured another shot and grabbed a wedge of lime and the salt shaker. He waited for Jeonghan to lie flat before _assembling_ the shot in a line: tequila in the navel, lime slice a few inches above and a smattering of salt a few inches below, for which he happily undid the button of Jeonghan’s jeans.

As Jun moved in to begin, Jeonghan stopped him with a hand to his cheek, looking over at the customer who was literally panting with anticipation.

Holding out his other hand, he said, “Cash up front.”

The man stuffed several large bills into his palm. It was too much but Jeonghan wasn’t about to tell him that and he didn’t think the man would miss it. His suit was _nice_.

“Proceed.”

They had drawn an audience, the background noise dimming slightly as everyone turned to watch. It made Jeonghan’s skin tingle, almost as much as…

“ _Jesus Christ_ ,” he swore when Jun licked the salt from his stomach, his hand automatically threading into his hair, hips bucking upward of their own accord.

Jun poured the tequila into his navel and drank quickly, making a show of tonguing the shallow depths because he was a jackass and basked in the attention they were receiving, before biting into the lime.

A loud cheer went up from the crowd and before Jeonghan could hop off the bar, customers surged towards them, shoving money in his face for Jun to do it again.

Jeonghan laid there and let Jun do his thing two more times. The last time Jun placed the lime between his teeth, although it didn’t stay there since Jun forcefully shoved it into his mouth with his tongue, taking him by surprise, then fished it back out, much to the delight of the crowd.

Suppressing the urge to punch his friend, Jeonghan sat up and announced that that was the last time, just as Hyesung walked over to call an end to it himself.

He eyed both boys with the look of a mother who had a sharp scolding on the tip of her tongue but then his eyes fell to the thick wad of money gripped tightly in Jeonghan’s hand and the bills spilling all over the counter and seemingly changed his mind.

“Good job, boys,” he said, beaming and patting them both on the cheek.

“I hate you,” Jeonghan muttered once Hyesung was gone, wiping his stomach with a warm, wet cloth.

“No, you don’t,” Jun chirped before returning to his end of the bar.

No, he didn’t.

Sighing, Jeonghan threw aside the cloth, pasted a smile on his face and turned to greet his next customer.

 

 

The auction didn’t start until midnight and by then Jeonghan had a nice little buzz going.

He’d cut himself off at 11:30 because he needed to be clear-headed when his turn on the auction block rolled around but he still felt nice and mellow. He was committed to the _when in Rome_ atmosphere of the night but he was still determined to do it with both eyes wide open.

As the guests took their seats – the tables had been cleared out to make room for more chairs – Jeonghan perused the crowd.

He’d noticed – how could he not? – Seungcheol’s absence. He was still M.I.A. as of the day before, when Jeonghan had last been to the loft, so he hadn’t really been expecting him; hadn’t _allowed_ himself to. Unlike the previous nights, however, Mingyu and Wonwoo weren’t anywhere to be seen either. He was tempted to shoot Chan a text, make sure that everything was okay, but he resisted the urge. They were probably busy doing…whatever the hell it was that they did. And he didn’t want Chan reporting back to Seungcheol or the others about his inquiries. Not that he took Chan to be the tattle-tale type but if he genuinely thought that Jeonghan was worried, he might mention it and…

_Stop!_

Taking a deep breath, Jeonghan cleared his mind and refocused. Seungcheol wasn’t there, the end. He wasn’t going to allow himself to think of him for the rest of the night.

As a customer hailed him to place an order, Hyesung walked onto the stage – built just for the occasion – took his spot behind the podium and tested the mic.

“Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please. The auction is about to begin. Before we do, I’ll just make a quick run-through of the rules. They go as follows:

Five staff members will be auctioned every hour for the next four hours. During the auction, that is when bids are being placed, the bar will be closed. After all members have been auctioned, the bar will reopen for the rest of the hour until the next batch of auctionees comes to the stage. When the auction comes to an end and all prizes have been claimed, the floor will be cleared and we’ll have ourselves a nice little dance party. If you actually make it to 5:00am, you’ll enjoy free drinks on the house for the next hour until we close at 6:00.

Now, to the prizes. Upon a successful bid, and after you’ve paid – cash only – you will be led to a private room where you will receive a dance from your “prize”.” Hyesung’s tone and expression suddenly hardened. “Please keep in mind that though they may be _prizes_ for the night, they are human beings first. No rough play or over-enthusiastic handling will be tolerated. Just because you pay for them doesn’t mean that you’re entitled to have them do whatever you want. If someone says “no”, then they mean _no_. You may have noticed the heightened security tonight. They are there for a reason. If anyone is found to be in violation of the rules, they will immediately be removed from the premises and barred for good.” His customary smile flooded back. “Now, we’re going to begin in the next couple of minutes so I’d advise you to grab your drinks, your paddles and your seats as quickly as possible.”

An influx of thirsty customers forced Jeonghan to tune out the rest of the bar as he rushed from one end to the next, filling drink orders. It wasn’t much later before Hyesung returned to the stage with the first “item” up for bid.

As the customers moved away to watch, so did Jeonghan. He slipped into the crowd in the back, making sure that he had a good view of the stage. Jun was in the first batch; he wasn’t missing it for the world.

“Excuse me. Can I have your attention, please,” Hyesung began. “There’s one thing that I forgot to mention. Most of you are regulars and I know that you have your favourite bartenders, servers, etc, so if there is a particular person that you know that you want to bid on, from the list of those up for auction _only_ mind you, you may do so in advance. If you do that, however, that will be the starting bid for that particular person. For example, if one of you bid on the lovely Yejin here – say $300 – before the official bidding starts then that will be the opening bid. All other bids start at $100. My people don’t come cheap,” he added with a wink.

“What if more than one bidder places an advanced bid on the same person?” someone called from the seated crowd.

“Well, we’ll start with the highest bid, of course!”

The crowd chuckled good-naturedly.

Maybe he had finally become accustomed to them but Jeonghan wasn’t the least bit surprised to find that the customers were okay with Hyesung essentially ripping them off.

“Since I was remiss in mentioning that particular stipulation earlier, it will only be available from the next batch onward. Now…let the festivities begin!”

It was fascinating to watch his co-workers preen and primp for the crowd but preen and primp they did. From the very first one, Yejin, it became obvious that Hyesung was going to be raking in a lot of money that night. Jeonghan didn’t know if it was because they were all mostly drunk out of their skulls but the competition was stiff. And it was only the first round.

Jun was the last piece of meat from the group to come, _strut_ , on stage. He swaggered to his spot beside Hyesung, shifting from one foot to the next, hips cocked out, pelvic bones standing out in sharp relief beneath his shiny, tanned skin. And shining he was. Was he that sweaty? No…no, it was _oil_. The fucker had oiled himself.

Jeonghan burst out laughing, ignoring the curious looks from the people beside him. His best friend was truly one of a kind.

The bidding war for Jun was fierce and ultimately came down to a man and a woman who kept one-upping each other by $100 on each bid. They were also sitting right beside each other, which Jeonghan found rather interesting.

Eventually, Hyesung got tired of it and called a cease-fire, asking, “Are you two here together?”

“Yes,” they replied simultaneously.

“And neither of you is willing to concede to the other?”

They exchanged a glance before saying, “No.”

“Hmm… An unforeseeable situation. I think in this case, Jun should have the final say,” Hyesung decided.

Jun grinned gleefully. There was nothing he liked more than a little power. And attention, which he definitely had as all eyes were on him.

As his friend looked into the crowd at his potential bidders, Jeonghan knew exactly what he was seeing: a handsome, well-dressed man with a perfectly trimmed beard and a beautiful woman dripping in diamonds at the ears and throat. It was Jun’s wet-dream come to life.

“How about…both?” Jun finally said. “It’s ten minutes right? If they don’t mind sharing, we can split it down the middle. 50/50.”

Hyesung didn’t look like he was on board with that idea one bit and he seemingly opened his mouth to say so but before he could speak, the man and woman – who’d had a short, hushed conversation of their own – shouted, “Deal!”

Hyesung was still frowning but he pounded his gavel to seal the bid and a loud cheer went up from the crowd.

“I think this is the best day of my life,” a guy beside Jeonghan said.

Jeonghan glanced over at him, an agreeable smile on his lips.

The young man, perhaps taking it for encouragement, asked, “Are you going up for bid?”

Jeonghan nodded. “Yes.”

“Maybe I could bid on you.” It almost sounded like he was asking Jeonghan’s permission. It was kind of endearing, honestly.

Smiling wider, Jeonghan nodded again. “Maybe.”

Throwing a last look at the man over his shoulder, he headed back to the bar, which was already three people deep down the entire length.

He wouldn’t be so cocky as to say that the young man didn’t have a chance of actually winning him but it was obvious that he was someone’s underling, not a boss himself, and Jeonghan couldn’t say whether he would be able to afford him. Jun had been sold for a lot of money, more than anyone else in his group. It was probably only going to get more competitive. There were only fifteen of them left, after all, and far more customers with money burning holes in their pockets.

Jeonghan set his body on auto-pilot and let his mind drift as the rest of the hour passed: serving drinks, making idle conversation and taking a sip here and there when a customer insisted on buying a drink for him.

Jun was the last one to return to his station and boy did he look satisfied. There were lipstick marks on his cheek and neck and a visible redness – beard-burn? – around his mouth.

Tapping his cheek meaningfully, Jeonghan drawled, “I thought Hyesung said no _handling_ of the merchandise.”

Jun grinned wolfishly. “He also said that we couldn’t be forced to do anything that we didn’t _want_ to if we said no. I do not remember that word ever passing my lips. In fact, I remember quite a number of _yeses_ and _mores_ and _right theres_ , but no nos.”

Jeonghan shook his head. “You’re a filthy animal, Wen Junhui.”

Jun turned just as the man and woman strode past, heading for the exit. The woman turned back and blew a kiss at Jun, which he “caught” and pressed to his lips, earning a sultry smile from her.

As he turned back to Jeonghan, he dug something out of his pocket and opened his hand. “It pays to be open-minded.”

In his palm lay one of the woman’s dew-drop diamond earrings.

“Sometimes literally,” he added cheekily.

Shaking his head again, Jeonghan swatted Jun on his ass and turned back to the bar. The next round was about to begin and they would have to stop serving soon.

The second round of bidding followed the vein of the first, except that Jeonghan had been right about one thing: the bidders were even more aggressive this time.

He stayed by the bar through it all, serving drinks on the sly, even though he was sure that the bouncers had seen him more than once. Most of the men standing were just minions of the powerful men sitting. They had nothing to do _but_ drink since they couldn’t actually afford to bid on anyone. He was making Hyesung money. He doubted he’d mind.

The guy who’d spoken to him during the first round had come over and started making small-talk as Jeonghan cleaned up between drinks. He was nice; cute in his own way. He tentatively asked Jeonghan if he could maybe take him out sometime and for the first time ever, Jeonghan found himself not wanting to give the usual _“I don’t date customers”_ spiel. Not because he was genuinely interested in the guy, he wasn’t… _yet_ at least, but because the guy seemed nice and relatively decent, which he was sure was hard to come by in that neck of the woods. Maybe a coffee or dinner date wouldn’t be so bad. Something light and casual.

“I…”

Before he could finish, Hyesung called the next group of participants to the side of the stage.

Laughing softly, he dropped his cloth and said, “I’ve gotta go. Sorry.” As he walked away, he called over his shoulder, “Don’t forget to bid!”

He made his way through the crowd and joined the others. One by one, Hyesung called them on stage to be bid on. As he waited for his turn, nerves began churning his in stomach for the first time that night.

He really hadn’t considered what kind of person he wanted to “win” him. Man, woman, young, old: it was going to be a stranger no matter what and he was just going to be a thing to them. A temporary play-thing.

Perhaps if he had let his guard down and opened himself up to the customers more, he would’ve had a few shoo-in bids. He might’ve actually had someone he’d be comfortable with. As it was, the only person he knew that he wouldn’t mind was…

_“Next to the stage, we have one of our most popular staffers. Jeonghan!”_

Taking a deep breath, he blocked out the audience’s applause and made his way up the stairs and across the stage to stand beside Hyesung’s podium.

“Smile!” Hyesung whispered.

An almost hysterical laugh bubbled up Jeonghan’s throat and a wide grin split his cheeks. This was the most ridiculous situation he’d ever found himself in.

“Isn’t he just beautiful?” Hyesung asked the crowd, who responded with hoots and ear-splitting whistles.

“We’ll start the bidding at…Wait, what’s this? Stop the clocks.” He walked over to the other end of the stage where one of the security guys handed him a small slip of paper before returning to the center. “It seems that we have our first pre-bidding bid. You _are_ a popular boy, aren’t you?” Hyesung teased.

The crowd yukked it up while Jeonghan tried his best to control the heat burning his cheeks. He had no idea who it could be.

“Right. So the opening bid is Five…thousand.” A gasp spread throughout the room and visibly stunned himself, Hyesung looked over at Jeonghan for a second before glancing back down at the paper. “Ladies and gentlemen, we have the largest bid of the night so far. $5000 from bidder #406.”

Jeonghan was in shock. _$5000_? Five fucking thousand dollars? Who the hell… _Why_ … It couldn’t possibly… It couldn’t be the guy, could it? He didn’t look rich but maybe… Maybe he was his own boss and just looked unassuming.

_406?_

For the first time since stepping on stage, Jeonghan allowed himself to look into the crowd. Fourth row, six seats down. Four, five, s….

 _Oh my God_.

His eyes met and held a pair of familiar dark brown ones, brain temporarily stalling as he locked onto a face that he hadn’t seen in a week.

“I guess we’ll start the bidding at $5000,” Hyesung finally said, his voice dimmer and softer than it had been previously. “$5000 going once; $5000 going twice.” He paused, as if giving some invisible bidder a chance to change his mind, before finally pounding his gavel. “Sold to bidder #406.”

Congratulations were made to #406 by the people around him and Hyesung gripped Jeonghan’s arm and led him off stage.

“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Hyesung said softly. “I can cancel it.”

“It’s too much,” was all Jeonghan could manage to say, still dazed.

“Jeonghan.” Hyesung’s tone was sharp, his grip tightening where he held him.

“What?” Jeonghan shook his head to clear it. “Uh, no. It’s fine. It’s good. The shelter needs as much money as it can get.”

“The shelter. Right…” Hyesung’s look spoke volumes, none that Jeonghan could interpret with his presently limited mental capacity, but he released his hold and walked back on stage; the next bidee trailing along behind him.

Shaking his head again, Jeonghan walked around to the front to greet his bidder. He didn’t say a word as he led him to the cashier to pay – why Seungcheol was walking around with that much money he didn’t want to know – before leading him to the curtain to wait for one of the rooms to be freed. The _rooms_ were actually just Hyesung’s office split in two and sectioned off by curtains. Jeonghan could hear soft moaning drifting out from behind one of the “rooms”.

_Geezus, is everyone hooking up in there?_

“You look nice,” Seungcheol said softly.

Not looking at him, Jeonghan simply said, “Thanks.”

Seungcheol waited a beat before asking, “Are you not going to look at me all night?”

“Haven’t decided yet,” Jeonghan replied truthfully.

“Jeonghan…”

Finally, one of the curtains parted and Jia emerged, a satisfied smirk on her lips as she wiped it. A stupefied looking older man trailed after her.

Jeonghan eyes shot daggers at her; she only smiled wider.

Grabbing Seungcheol’s hand, he dragged him through the curtains.

There was a sinful-looking two-seater, purple velvet sofa; fluorescent lava lamps providing the only lighting in the enclosed space, and a radio on a table. Someone had seen fit to place a stack of CDs on one side and a small stash of condoms on the other. They obviously knew the staff of the Cove very well.

“Sit,” Jeonghan ordered. When Seungcheol complied, he walked over to the radio and asked, “How do you want it?”

Seungcheol stretched his arms across the back of the sofa, cocking his head to the side. “Want what?”

The heat in Jeonghan’s cheeks flared and for the first time, he was thankful for the dark. “I don’t know. What _do_ you want?”

 “We could sit here and talk if you like,” Seungcheol answered casually.

Jeonghan scoffed. “You didn’t pay $5000 just to talk to me.”

Seungcheol’s head tilted to the other side. “What did I pay $5000 for then?”

 _I don’t know_ , Jeonghan wanted to scream. _That’s what’s driving me crazy_.

“Any preferences?” he asked instead, switching on the radio.

“Surprise me.”

Suppressing a sigh, Jeonghan quickly rifled through the CDs before choosing one and queuing up a particular song. Truth be told, he’d always wondered what it would be like to give someone a private dance to it. It was an old-ish song and not one that ever played in clubs so he’d never had the opportunity.

As the beat came on, he walked to the center of the small space and stood in front of Seungcheol. He began to move, not meeting Seungcheol’s eyes; not looking anywhere in his vicinity. He looked up instead. Someone had pasted neon stars up on the ceiling. It was cheesy but added a sort of ethereal luminescence to the room.

 _This isn’t real life_ , he reminded himself. When the night ended, he’d go home, go to sleep and wake up as Jeonghan. For now, he could be whoever he wanted to be and do whatever that person would do.

Walking slowly towards Seungcheol, hips swaying in time with the music, he finally looked down at him as he slid onto his lap. Well… _straddled_ him more like.

Surprisingly, Seungcheol didn’t immediately touch him. He kept his arms where they were, along the back of the sofa, although Jeonghan could see the tension in his shoulders now.

A knowing smile curved his lips.

Settling himself upon Seungcheol, gyrating to the rhythm of the song, he trailed gentle fingers down the side of his face. “Is this more like what you’d imagined?”

“Is it?” The strain in Seungcheol’s voice was audible.

Fingers skimmed down Seungcheol’s neck. “Where were you this week?”

The corner of Seungcheol’s mouth twitched. “Did you miss me?”

Jeonghan suppressed a growl, asking instead, “Did _you_?”

Seungcheol’s gaze raked his face, settling briefly on his lips before returning to his eyes. That was as much of an answer as he was going to get apparently.

Cupping Seungcheol’s jaw, Jeonghan leaned in but Seungcheol pulled back.

“I thought you said we shouldn’t do that again.”

Jeonghan’s eyes narrowed fractionally at having his own words thrown back in his face.

“I’m allowed to change my mind, aren’t I?” he asked, eyes widening innocently.

Seungcheol continued to stare at him, expression giving nothing away, but this time when Jeonghan leaned in, he met him halfway, hands snaking into Jeonghan’s hair as he all but swallowed his lips.

At the first brush of Seungcheol’s tongue against his, lust pooled deep in Jeonghan’s belly. He shifted on top of Seungcheol, grinding down into his lap slightly as Seungcheol’s hot mouth continued to devour him.

Seungcheol’s hand slid from his hair, down his back to join the other on his ass, cupping his cheeks in a tight grip as he ground up into him.

His body came alive then, instinct taking over. His hands were rough where they raked through Seungcheol’s hair, down his neck, into the back of his shirt. He wasn’t wearing a jacket – though he had been when Jeonghan first saw him in the crowd – and Jeonghan could feel the muscles beneath the smooth, warm skin.

He wanted to do more than feel, though.

A soft whimper escaped Jeonghan’s lips as Seungcheol broke their kiss and trailed his lips down his neck to suck on his pulse.

 _No hickeys!_ , his mind screamed but the words never made it to his lips.

He clung onto Seungcheol’s shoulders, thrusting against him in earnest now; the song playing on loop in the background setting the pace.

“I want you,” Seungcheol rasped into his skin. His fingers dug pointedly into the cleft of Jeonghan’s ass through his impossibly penetrable jeans. “ _Now_.”

 _Yes_. He was _so_ on-board with that idea. They had a sofa, there were condoms, the…

“Ahh!” he gasped when Seungcheol’s mouth closed over a sensitive nipple. He hadn’t even realized that he’d moved lower.

God, this was really happening. Right here, right now.

_“Some of us would like to get on with our lives, if you don’t mind.”_

Or not.

Jeonghan suddenly remembered where they were and why they were there and from the look on Seungcheol’s face, so did he.

Cheeks flaming, Jeonghan slid off of Seungcheol’s lap and stood but he didn’t get far. As soon as Seungcheol was on his feet, he grabbed his wrist and all but dragged him through the curtains.

“We’re getting out of here,” he said firmly, his voice brooking no argument.

Jeonghan wasn’t one of his minions, though. “But…”

Seungcheol wouldn’t be deterred, his stride purposeful as he led Jeonghan through the crowd towards the exit.

Hyesung intercepted them before they reached, however. “He’s still on the clock,” he said coldly, speaking directly to Seungcheol, as if Jeonghan had no say in the matter.

“I’ll take care of it.” Seungcheol nodded to someone that Jeonghan couldn’t see but the next thing he knew, Mingyu had slithered out of the darkness and appeared beside them.

As if that resolved the issue, he continued to the exit, Jeonghan in tow. Wonwoo was waiting by the car near the curb, opening the door as soon as he saw them.

Seungcheol all but threw Jeonghan inside before climbing in himself. As soon as he was settled, before the door was even fully closed, Jeonghan pounced on him again.

Their lips collided in a messy, wet power struggle; teeth tugging semi-viciously to the point that someone drew blood. Jeonghan wasn’t sure which of them the salty, coppery taste belonged to because he was positive that both of their mouths were bruised.

“Do you fuck the way you kiss?” he gasped into Seungcheol’s mouth.

“I don’t know,” Seungcheol groaned back. “You’ll have to tell me.”

“Do you have an ass fetish or something?” He applauded himself on his ability to still think and make clear, concise observations at this point, he really did.

Seungcheol’s hands had latched onto Jeonghan’s ass as soon as he’d straddled him again and he rhythmically kneaded it now to make his point. “I don’t know if I’d call it a fetish,” he replied honestly, trailing kisses up the side of Jeonghan’s neck to his ear. He tugged on the sensitive flesh before adding, “But I do plan on worshiping yours. Thoroughly. Relentlessly.”

 _Fuck_ , that was hot. Jeonghan couldn’t wait until they got to wherever the hell they were going. He didn’t _want_ to.

Reaching between them, he palmed Seungcheol’s erection through his pants, stroking the obvious line of his shaft. He wanted it so badly he could practically feel it inside him already.

Seungcheol seemed to have a similar idea as he’d somehow managed to slide his palm into Jeonghan’s impenetrable fortress of a jeans and cup the bare flesh of his ass. If Seungcheol didn’t slow down, Jeonghan was going to embarrass himself and come before they reached their destination.

Who said they had to wait, anyway?”

Before he could voice his suggestion, there was a sharp rap on the partition before it opened and Wonwoo’s toneless voice said, “Boss.”

“What is it?” Seungcheol asked, not pausing in his ministrations on Jeonghan’s neck. He was going to be furiously black and blue there come morning.

“He wants to see you.”

Seungcheol’s hands stilled and he raised his head. “Now?” Already there was a change in his tone.

“Now.”

Sighing, Seungcheol nodded and the partition closed. He pressed a hard kiss to Jeonghan’s mouth before shifting him onto the seat beside him.

“This isn’t over,” he said insistently. “It’s just on pause. Give me five minutes to take care of some business and then we’ll pick up where we left off.”

Jeonghan was pouting. He didn’t need to see himself to know it: he could feel the downward turn and slight puckering of his lips. He wasn’t being rejected but his body was too heightened at the moment to not perceive it that way.

Seungcheol reached out and tugged on his protruding bottom lips with his thumb.

“God, you’re beautiful. You know that?”

 _And yet you’re abandoning me for work_ , he wanted to say. It was childish and immature but he didn’t care. He needed to come, _desperately_.

Leaning in, he pressed his lips to Seungcheol’s, surprised when he didn’t stop him.

It didn’t take long for things to heat up between them again, the kiss light and breathy and hands eagerly seeking warm flesh. Seungcheol’s hand had settled on Jeonghan’s ass once more. He might not consider it a fetish but he definitely had a thing for asses. Or Jeonghan’s at least.

Taking a chance, Jeonghan unbuttoned and unzipped Seungcheol’s pants and cupped him through the soft material of his underwear. So hot and hard and tempting. Jeonghan’s mouth practically watered.

But a minute later the car came to a stop and a door slammed as Wonwoo climbed out. The fact that Seungcheol’s door didn’t immediately open told Jeonghan that he was giving him a couple of minutes to get himself together.

“I won’t be long,” he promised, straightening his shirt and closing his pants fastenings. “Five, ten minutes max.”

“Can’t this wait until tomorrow?” Jeonghan wasn’t even embarrassed by the almost begging quality of his voice. “It’s frigging 4:00am. Who does business at this hour?”

Seungcheol smiled slightly but didn’t reply. Instead he grabbed his jacket from the seat beside him and draped it over Jeonghan’s shoulders.

“Stay hot for me.”

He kissed Jeonghan one last time, a gentle peck, before opening the door himself and climbing out.

Jeonghan saw a glimpse of the bright light on a marquee before the door closed behind him.

He fell back on the seat with a frustrated groan, pouting once more.

He’d finally succumbed to Seungcheol’s advances, without him even having to try this time, and he’d walked out on him. Ridiculous!

A buzzing in his pants drew him out of his sulk. Somehow he’d completely forgotten that he’d stuck his phone in there at the beginning of his shift. It was a miracle that it had fit at all.

Fishing it out, he opened the text message.

_Slut._

He didn’t have to look at the sender to know who it was from.

Quickly, he typed a response and shoved his phone back into his jeans.

_Takes one to know one._

It was petty but _petty_ was one of the defining characteristics of their relationship. It was what made them such great friends.

“Jun would laugh his ass off if he could see me now,” he murmured into the darkness.

Had five minutes passed yet? He was still hard and his jeans were cutting off his blood supply.

He could just relieve himself and rub his release into the leather seats of Seungcheol’s car. It would serve him right.

“You are not nearly drunk enough for this kind of crazy thinking, Yoon Jeonghan.”

It was true. He could still feel the alcohol in his veins, keeping his body warm and languid, but everything he’d done so far had been through conscious decision.

_Did you miss me?_

Had he? He was kind of missing him now, if he was honest with himself. The car seemed bigger and darker without him in it. Lonelier.

_Fuck it._

Taking action before he could talk himself out of it, Jeonghan threw open the door and jumped out.

A second later Wonwoo fell out of the driver’s seat, stumbling on his way to reach Jeonghan.

There was a huge guy, tall and wide like a linebacker, blocking the doorway of what turned out to be a Members Only Club. He held  hand up as Jeonghan approached, telling him to halt.

Wonwoo grabbed Jeonghan’s arm and started tugging him back towards the car.

Jeonghan swatted his hand but Wonwoo didn’t release him, though he did frown.

“The Boss wants you to wait in the car,” he said sternly.

“I don’t think he’d mind if I took a little look inside,” Jeonghan said easily.

“He said for you to wait in the car,” Wonwoo repeated.

“Well, he didn’t say that to _me_. Besides,” he added, schooling his features to look earnest. “I really need to pee. Like…my bladder’s about to burst.”

Wonwoo looked at him doubtfully but Jeonghan simply continued to bat his eyelashes at him.

Eventually, Wonwoo looked at the bouncer and the two seemed to hold some kind of silent conversation. It reminded Jeonghan of the way Mingyu and Wonwoo communicated non-verbally, talking with their eyes alone. Maybe it was a bodyguard/bouncer thing. Something they learned in bodyguard/bouncer school.

Finally, seemingly coming to some kind of agreement, the bouncer stepped aside and Wonwoo, still holding tightly onto Jeonghan’s arm, guided him through the thick, padded doors.

“Stay by my side,” he said gruffly, urgently. “Don’t talk to anyone; don’t look anyone in the eye. I mean it, Jeonghan.”

It was the first time that Wonwoo, or any of Seungcheol’s boys, had ever called him by name. It was a bit jarring; a shiver of apprehension crept up his spine.

As Jeonghan came through the curtains on the other side of the door, Wonwoo’s warning played in his head. He immediately understood the necessity of it.

Money and danger pervaded the air, clinging to the men sitting at the square tables spread across the floor; at the bar; at the poker tables.

The waiters and bartenders wore crisp uniforms, the kind that Jeonghan associated with the four-star hotel Seungcheol had taken him to. If Diamond Cove was a little slice of class and elegance in the gutter, this club was a whole other dimension.

Jeonghan suddenly became aware that they’d drawn several gazes in their direction. He suddenly began to feel self-conscious. This was unfamiliar territory for him, and unlike at Diamond Cove he had no doubt that the men in this club were packing.

He pulled the lapels of Seungcheol’s jacket closer together, thankful that he hadn’t thought to ditch it on his way out of the car.

Wonwoo gently tugged on his arm, leading him through the maze of tables and around the side of the bar.

As they walked, Jeonghan kept his eyes fixed firmly ahead. He’d committed to the _when in Rome-_ ness of the night but this was probably the first misstep he’d made and it was all his own doing.

Jeonghan had assumed that Wonwoo was taking him to the bathroom but when he saw Seungcheol sitting at a table talking to a man, he realized that Wonwoo needed to let Seungcheol know they were there first.

 _This chain of command thing must be a pain in the ass,_ he thought.

Seungcheol saw them coming, his eyes widening in surprise but when they locked in Jeonghan, he realized something else.

Seungcheol was afraid.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, standing as they reached him. He was trying to remain calm but Jeonghan had been around him enough to hear the tremor in his voice. “I thought I told you to wait in the car.”

“He said he needed to use the bathroom,” Wonwoo explained, though he still looked doubtful.

_“And who’s this?”_

The voice belonged to the man that Seungcheol had been talking to. Against his will, Jeonghan dropped his gaze to the man’s face, immediately regretting his decision.

The way the man’s eyes moved over him made his skin crawl. There was something…not quite right about him.

He was young, about Seungcheol’s age though he screamed _approach with caution_ in a way that Seungcheol never would, and handsome, classically so; of some obscure, mixed heritage; dressed smartly in a suit that fit him perfectly. He wore a very expensive watch, diamond cuff-links and had one of those jeweled pinky rings that Jeonghan always associated with old mafia movies. His eyes were the colour of liquid amber, sharp and shiny like the blade of a knife. Looking into them was incredibly unsettling.

Seungcheol, who currently faced them, closed his eyes briefly before schooling his features and turning back to the man.

“You remember Wonwoo. And this is Jeonghan, a friend of mine. I was giving him a lift home when you called.”

“Jeonghan.” Hearing his name from those lips made his skin crawl even more. “Pleasure to meet you. It isn’t often that I meet Seungcheol’s… _friends_.”

It was the second time that someone had said that to Jeonghan but unlike with Chan, Jeonghan didn’t have to wonder why Seungcheol would choose to keep anyone he cared about away from this man.

“You know where the bathroom is,” Seungcheol said to Wonwoo, effectively dismissing them from the conversation. “We’re almost done here. I’ll be out shortly.”

“Have a drink,” the man said as Wonwoo began to lead him away. “On the house.”

Wonwoo glanced back and nodded for both of them before speeding up his pace. Once they were safely in the bathroom, and he had scoured the stalls to make sure that no one else was in there, he released Jeonghan’s arm and visibly relaxed for the first time since entering the club.

“He unnerves you too, huh?” Jeonghan said, watching Wonwoo as he leaned against the wall.

“You’d have to be crazy not to be,” Wonwoo replied.

“He is rather creepy.” He wanted to ask Wonwoo who the man was and why even Seungcheol seemed a bit afraid of him but he’d crossed enough boundaries with him for the night. They had a good relationship, such as it was, and he didn’t want to ruin it.

Realizing that he did in fact need to pee, he fished his phone out of his jeans and handed it to Wonwoo – who held it gingerly between two fingers – and dashed into a stall.

He sighed loudly as his bladder emptied. There were few things in the world that felt as good. Well, orgasms for sure but this was right up there.

When he was done, he washed his hands and took his phone back from Wonwoo.

“And out we go,” he sing-songed.

Wonwoo peered out into the hall before taking his arm again and steering him back into the main room.

He expected him to go directly to the front door so he was surprised when Wonwoo led him to the bar instead.

“Aren’t we going back to the car?” he asked.

“He offered you a drink,” Wonwoo explained stiltedly. “It would be rude to refuse.”

Rude. Translation: _dangerous_.

A brightly smiling bartender came over and they gave their orders: Jeonghan, a cocktail and Wonwoo, his usual watered-down whiskey.

When the bartender placed their drinks in front of them, Jeonghan picked his up to take a sip but before he could do so, Wonwoo tapped his arm to get his attention. He pointedly nudged his chin over his shoulder and as Jeonghan followed the direction he’d indicated with his eyes, he realized that the man was watching them.

_Jesus._

No wonder Wonwoo was sitting with his back to him.

Getting the message, Jeonghan raised his glass in a toast, to which the man nodded and smiled widely.

Jeonghan all but inhaled the drink after that, hoping that a little liquid courage would see him safely through the rest of his time in the club.

Seungcheol’s little meeting ran even longer than he’d promised and unable to suppress his curiosity, Jeonghan allowed his gaze to wander.

The club was very impressive: the decorator, who clearly spared no expense, having done a wonderful job. He saw a few familiar faces: smiled at the ones who acknowledged him.

He was just turning to ask Wonwoo something when he thought he spotted another familiar face. Unlike the others, however, this one made his heart race and his hands turn clammy.

 _No. It couldn’t be_.

Swiveling, he looked around frantically, searching for that face. He couldn’t be seeing things. He wasn’t drunk. But it was impossible, wasn’t it?

He peered into every dark corner, looked closely at every face that he’d previously avoided. There was no one there, though.

As there shouldn’t be. Seungcheol had sworn that he’d _“taken care of it”_ , hadn’t he?

 _I must be losing my mind. This night needs to hurry up and_ end _._

“We’re leaving,” Wonwoo announced and Jeonghan turned back to see him sliding off his stool. Behind him, Seungcheol was walking towards them. The man remained seated at the table, taking a sip of his drink, though his eyes followed their progress.

Catching Jeonghan looking at him, he smiled and tipped his glass to him before taking another sip.

Another shudder ran through Jeonghan but Seungcheol stepped close just then, sliding his arm possessively across his shoulders, successfully cutting off his view of the man.

Once they were in the car, Jeonghan expected some kind of reprimand. He’d actually been bracing himself for it since he’d been sitting at the bar.

Ordinarily, he didn’t stand for man-handling or being forced into a submissive role. He was his own person and was quite capable of looking after himself.

However, there was nothing ordinary about that night and he’d accidentally gone too far off track to find his way back without some assistance. This was their world, governed by their rules. For once, the wise thing had been to swallow his pride and just follow the leader.

But now the _leader_ was angry. Not violently so but in the silence that stretched as they made their way to the loft – he assumed – he could feel it rolling off of Seungcheol in waves.

He reminded himself that Seungcheol had been concerned for him as well, that both Wonwoo and Seungcheol had made sure he’d emerged from the club unscathed, so he wouldn’t react the way he usually would: by getting angry himself.

Thankfully, the ride to the loft wasn’t a long one and soon he felt the car pulling onto familiar, bumpy terrain.

The car came to a stop but before he could reach for the door-handle, Seungcheol tangled his fingers in his hair without warning and pulled him in for a rough, hard kiss.

Jeonghan moaned wantonly, his engine revving from zero to sixty in the span of a second. He had never really stopped being aroused, he supposed – he’d still been hard when he’d gone to pee – it had merely been dormant for a bit.

Seungcheol broke the kiss but he didn’t pull back very far and his hand only tightened in Jeonghan’s hair.

“You’ve been very naughty,” he panted gruffly.

A shiver of excitement shot up Jeonghan’s spine. “What are you going to do about it?”

Releasing him, Seungcheol practically kicked his own door open, stomping around to the other side to open Jeonghan’s. He wasn’t gentle when he pulled him out, his grip hard and biting as he all but dragged him across the parking lot obstacle-course towards the old freight elevator.

On any other occasion, Jeonghan would have been mortified at such treatment. _Furious_ , even. But tonight, anticipation thrummed through his veins like a livewire.

Behind them, Wonwoo shut the doors that Seungcheol had neglected to close and followed at a respectable distance.

The ride up in the freight elevator was awkward. Wonwoo kept to the back of the old metal cage while Seungcheol, still holding Jeonghan “prisoner”, stood tense and immovable, eyes fixed firmly on the passing floors in front of him.

Finally, they arrived at their destination and Seungcheol continued his drag-pull as he led a willing Jeonghan down the hall to the loft.

Wonwoo remained safely behind them.

As they walked into the loft, all eyes descended on them. If Jeonghan had thought it was awkward before…

They were all there: every single one of them. Even Mingyu, who they’d left behind at the Cove. Jeonghan wasn’t even surprised to see him. After the night he’d had, nothing surprised him anymore.

He glanced over at Seungcheol to find him looking dumbstruck. Clearly, _leader_ hadn’t thought this part through.

Gently removing Seungcheol’s grip from his arm, one finger at a time, Jeonghan leaned in and whispered, “Get rid of the kiddies,” before sauntering towards the bedroom. As he passed Chan, he ruffled his hair but he didn’t stop or say anything. As he turned into the bedroom, he threw one last meaningful look at Seungcheol.

Leaning against the wall, Jeonghan muffled a laugh with a hand over his mouth. He felt like one of those femme fatales in a James Bond movie. It was glorious.

“You guys need to go,” he heard Seungcheol say, his voice drifting through the open door.

“But…where will I sleep?” This came from Chan and for a moment, Jeonghan felt regretful. In his haze of lust and want, he’d forgotten about his student.

He heard the same regret in Seungcheol’s voice when he replied. “You can spend the night with Mingyu and Wonwoo. You like their place, don’t you?”

“I can’t believe this. You’re kicking us out for that…”

“Seungkwan!” Gone was the gentleness Seungcheol had used with Chan. He was in full _don’t fuck with me_ mode now.

“Yes, _Boss_.” Of course he had to have the last word. Seungkwan would never _not_ be a bitch in Jeonghan’s opinion.

He listened as they trailed out, a parade of feet, until silence reigned.

Seungcheol appeared in the doorway but Jeonghan stayed where he was, leaning against the wall. When he spotted him, he crowded in like a predator.

“You did a very stupid thing tonight. You know that, don’t you?”

It took a few seconds for Jeonghan to realize what he meant. “Who was that guy?” he asked fearlessly.

“No one you want to know,” Seungcheol replied. “No one in their right mind would want to know him.”

“ _You_ know him,” Jeonghan pointed out.

“I must not be in my right mind, then,” Seungcheol acquiesced. “And neither are you, apparently. Courting danger like that. Is that _your_ fetish, Jeonghan? Do you like dangerous men?” The way that Seungcheol said his name had Jeonghan squeezing his thighs together. If he kept talking to him like that, he was going to come before they even started doing anything.

“Are you a dangerous man?” Jeonghan countered, purposely dropping his gaze to Seungcheol’s lips and biting his own.

“I can be, given the right incentive.”

Taking his cue, Seungcheol swooped in and claimed his lips, forcing him to tilt his head back as he plundered his mouth. The height difference between them was barely perceptible but somehow Seungcheol managed to loom over him, making him feel small and unsure. He would’ve never thought that that would be a turn-on for him but with Seungcheol, everything he thought he knew about himself seemed to go out the window.

Seungcheol kissed him vigorously and Jeonghan didn’t stop him, even when his lips began to sting.

At one point Seungcheol’s jacket disappeared, pushed off his shoulders. Shortly after, his vest followed.

He wasn’t aware of his disappearing clothes, his mind completely fogged over from Seungcheol’s oral assault. The haze only began to clear when Seungcheol undid the snap of his jeans and pushed his zip down.

Seungcheol stepped back and surveyed him, clearly pleased with the way Jeonghan looked if the smile on his lips was any indication.

“Right. Get on the bed,” Seungcheol ordered. “On your knees.”

It took a couple of seconds for Jeonghan’s brain to process the command, and another couple for his body to begin moving. The last thing he saw before he crawled onto the bed was Seongcheol pushing up the sleeves of his shirt. He looked intent, like a man about to get down to business.

_I do plan on worshiping yours. Thoroughly. Relentlessly._

_Jesus_. Jeonghan didn’t know if he would survive that.

Seungcheol didn’t waste any time getting his hands on him. He nudged Jeonghan’s knees apart, skimming his hands up his inner thighs and back.

Jeonghan’s legs began to tremble and he arched his back, digging into the mattress with his fisted hands and knees to stabilize himself.

_Deep breath in, deep breath out._

He was going to outlast the fucker just to spite him.

Seungcheol’s hands eventually found their way to the waistband of his jeans and, taking a firm hold, he pulled both his jeans and underwear down in one fell swoop.

Jeonghan was amazed by his strength. His jeans were so tight, they were practically painted on. It took minutes of shimmying and tugging just to get into them.

Jeonghan made to lift his knees so that Seungcheol could pull them all the way off but a swift slap to his ass caught him off guard and had him almost tumbling forward.

“You have been very naughty, Jeonghan,” Seungcheol said in _that_ voice. “I swear, sometimes I just don’t know what to do with you.”

_Anything you want, just get on with it!_

Large palms cupped both cheeks, pressing them together then pulling them apart.

“You drive me crazy. One minute I want to kiss you and give you the world, the next I want to turn you over my knee and spank you.” He actually sounded frustrated when he said it.

“So you wanna spank me now? Kinky,” Jeonghan taunted, his breath becoming laboured. Seungcheol didn’t know, because he couldn’t, but Jeonghan was particularly sensitive in that area. It felt like being tickled, but in a really good way. And the fact that one of his most private places was shamelessly exposed to Seungcheol’s eyes made it all the more salacious. “Seems like you _do_ have a fetish after all.”

This time when the slap came, Jeonghan wasn’t at all surprised. In fact, he reveled in it, spreading his legs as wide as he could within the strict confines of his impossibly tight jeans.

He glanced down at where his erection hung thick and flushed deep-purple between his legs. It was kind of like looking himself in the eye. A weeping one-eyed monster with conjunctivitis.

Seungcheol continued to play with his cheeks, molding them in slow circles. Together, then apart; together, then apart.

Jeonghan wanted to come more than he’d wanted almost anything in life. But he wasn’t going to beg for it. That was what Seungcheol wanted – probably – and he wasn’t going to give the fucker the satisfaction.

At the first graze of Seungcheol’s teeth, Jeonghan moaned loudly and bucked forward. He barely managed to reach a hand out to support himself before he face-planted.

Seungcheol paid him no mind. He continued to drag blunt teeth across his sensitive flesh; then he sucked, and licked, and went back and forth from one to the other.

When one cheek was wet and red to his satisfaction, Jeonghan assumed, he switched to the other. Then back again. All the while, he continued to spread his cheeks and push them together again. Every now and then his thumbs would sweep downward, getting closer and closer to Jeonghan’s twitching hole, but no cigar. And Seungcheol would breathe over him, light puffs of air that made him clench even more, but he still wouldn’t touch him.

Jeonghan looked down at the one-eyed monster again. It looked angry now: redder, its tears thick and trickling. Jeonghan couldn’t blame it. It was sorely neglected. It would only take one stroke and he’d explode. One insistent thumb over his leaking head; one lick; one suck. One _anything_. And for that reason, he refused to touch himself. He would outlast Seungcheol by sheer force of will if he had to.

“I think you might be right,” Seungcheol said softly. “I think I do have a fetish. For _your_ ass, at least.”

And with that, he spread Jeonghan wide, wider than all the times before, and bit firmly into his ass.

Shock radiated through Jeonghan like an earthquake, a tremor beginning at the point of origin and spreading outward. The next thing he knew, he was coming; his arms collapsed beneath him as his hips pistoned into the cold night air, come spattering the sheets beneath him. Seungcheol held onto him by his hips, keeping his lower half in place so that he was literally folded over.

Even when he’d finished coming, his hips continued to thrust of their own accord, dick twitching, hole clenching.

In the distance, behind the blood roaring furiously in his head, he heard the tell-tale _fap fap_ of a cock being stroked, mercilessly by the sounds of it. A minute or so later, hot liquid splashed onto his cooling skin, followed by Seungcheol’s trembling fingers rubbing it into his skin.

_Kinky bastard._

The bed vibrated as Seungcheol collapsed beside him, his breath coming in loud, harsh pants.

Jeonghan slowly unfolded his stiff limbs and stretched out on the bed, head turned sideways to look at him through the disheveled curtain of his hair.

Grinning, Seungcheol reached over and rubbed his back. He held Jeonghan’s gaze as his hand trailed downward before coming to rest on Jeonghan’s ass, where he cupped his cheek affectionately.

Jeonghan laughed, shaking his head.

“You’re ridiculous.”

Jeonghan continued to lie there as Seungcheol petted and caressed him until he felt the first tendrils of sleep creeping in around the edges of his consciousness.

With a sigh, he dragged himself up and shuffled to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

He couldn’t believe that he still had his jeans and shoes on.

He took one look in the mirror and sent up a prayer of thanks that he lived alone. If Jun saw him like this, he would never hear the end of it and there was no way that anyone who saw him wouldn’t know what he’d been up to.

He cleaned up with a paper towel, wiping himself down as well as removing all traces of Seungcheol’s drying spunk on his ass. He righted his clothes – somehow his phone had managed to stay caught up in his jeans, he discovered with a laugh – and combed his hair with wet fingers.

His lips were far too red and puffy and looked chapped where they’d been bitten and he had hickeys forming on his neck but there was absolutely nothing he could do about that.

Satisfied with his appearance, he walked back out into the room to find Seungcheol lying flat on his back in the middle of the bed. He’d kicked off his shoes and pants. He still wore his shirt, though a few buttons had come loose, revealing a hint of the definition Jeonghan had felt but had yet to see.

“Why are you dressed?” Seungcheol asked, frowning. He had a loose hand around the base of his dick, which was hard and looked ready to go again.

“Home,” he replied casually. He bent to retrieve his vest and his eyes fell on his messenger bag, propped up against the side of the wardrobe. Mingyu must have brought it with him, he thought with a smile.

“Home?” Seungcheol’s eyes were wide with confusion now. “But we…”

“I came, you came. Everybody got what they came for,” Jeonghan said reasonably. “And I don’t do sleepovers.”

“But I thought we’d…”

He shrugged the bag onto his shoulders and walked back over to Seungcheol.

“Next time…” His voice trailed off as he placed gentle fingers around the glistening head of Seungcheol’s cock and gave it a light squeeze. He didn’t let it show but he _thrilled_ at being able to touch him; at the strength and power he knew was contained in that stiff, vulnerable muscle. “Plan better.”

Seungcheol’s hips snapped upward, seeking more of his touch. “ _Jeonghan_.” His voice was a plea.

“Don’t get up.” Jeonghan dropped his hand, smiling wickedly. “I’m sure your minions are lurking about somewhere. I’ll see myself out.”

At the doorway, he stopped and looked back, eyes intentionally dipping to Seungcheol’s cock before meeting his eyes again.

“Say hello to little Cheol for me. It’s a pity we weren’t able to get acquainted.”

With a breezy wave, he disappeared through the door, leaving Seungcheol staring after him, mouth gaping.

 

 

Seungcheol lay there, stunned.

 _Shocked_.

Surprised in a way that he had never been before.

Never in his wildest dream would he have guessed that the night – _morning_ – would end the way it did after what had just happened. _Especially_ not after what had happened.

And yet here he was, literally left holding his cock.

_Say hello to little cheol for me._

He glanced down at it, in all its flushed, pearl-tipped glory, and gave it a sympathetic tug.

“It’s just you and me buddy,” he said sadly.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've already read this on AFF then you'll know that I split this chapter into two and why. I'm not going to do that here but you can think of before and after the line as separate entities since the themes do change.

_“Rise and shine, slut!”_

Jeonghan groaned, burrowing deeper into his covers and pulling a pillow over his head.

“Nuh-uh,” that irritatingly familiar voice chimed. “Time to get up.”

“ _Jesus Christ_ , Jun,” he swore, kicking off the covers and flopping over onto his back. He blinked up at his friend through bleary eyes, making out only the shape of him as his vision adjusted to the brightness of the overhead light. “What time is it?”

“9:30,” Jun replied cheerily, carelessly dumping his bag on the floor.

“Are you fucking _kidding_ me?” Jeonghan had assumed that it was past midday or something, otherwise why would Jun even be there, but hearing the time made him realize that he’d gotten less than four hours of sleep. No wonder he felt like shit.

“Now, now, don’t be upset. I came to check on you since you disappeared last night. And look, I even brought breakfast.” True to his word, Jun held up a brown paper bag in one hand and a take-away tray with two cups in the other. Placing the bag at the foot of Jeonghan’s mattress, he removed one of the cups and held it out to him. “Your favourite: decaf French Vanilla.”

Jeonghan sat up, still glaring at his friend, and accepted the cup. Before taking a sip, he ran his tongue around his teeth and took stock of the freshness of his mouth. He could still taste his toothpaste so he decided that he was good to go.

“Are you sure you’re Korean?” Jun mused. “Or, you know even really Asian? It’s unnatural to _not_ have at least 70% of your blood consist of caffeine.”

Jeonghan glared at him as he took his first bracing sip of the hot liquid but didn’t take the bait.

“ _Damn_ , somebody did a number on you,” Jun observed, sipping on his own drink as his eyes locked onto Jeonghan’s neck.

Jeonghan’s hand unconsciously fluttered to where Jun was staring: the side that he knew was worse than the other as he’d seen the evidence himself before going to bed. It would be days before any of it began to fade.

“You should see my ass,” he muttered beneath his breath.

“What was that?” Nothing got by his friend. He had eyes and ears like a hawk.

“Nothing.”

“So…how was it?” Jun asked, reaching for the bag he’d brought and digging into it.

“How was what?”

“The sex, obviously. He looks like he’d be good in bed,” Jun continued conversationally, taking a huge bite of a bagel. “He seems like a man who knows what he wants, how to get it and would give as good as he got.” He nudged Jeonghan’s foot. “So? How was it?”

Jeonghan took another fortifying sip of his drink, savoring the sugary goodness as it slid down his throat and settled warm and comforting in his stomach. “There was no sex.”

“Your neck says otherwise,” Jun retorted, clearly in disbelief. “Besides, I saw you two when you were leaving. You looked high as fuck and he seemed…determined. Sex was clearly on the agenda.”

“You’re not wrong,” Jeonghan admitted. “It just didn’t happen.”

Jun cocked a skeptical brow. “Do you honestly expect me to believe that you just made out a bit, long enough for him to do _that_ to your neck, then went your separate ways like good little children?”

Jeonghan shrugged. “More or less.” It wasn’t the truth but it wasn’t a lie. Technically.

“I don’t buy it. Not for a minute. I know you, remember? When you look the way you did last night…there’s no stopping you until you’ve come.”

Jeonghan merely shrugged again.

Jun scowled.

Jeonghan set his cup down on his nightstand and drew his legs up to cross them but as he shifted, a sharp pain drew a wince from him that, unfortunately, eagle-eye Jun was quick to notice.

“What was that?”

“What was what?” he asked blankly, schooling his features.

“That look. Like you’re in pain. Don’t even think about denying it. I saw it. Why would you be in pain if you didn’t have sex? _Rough_ sex.”

“There was no sex!” Jeonghan insisted.

“Liar!” Jun accused, sticking his bagel-battered tongue out at him.

“Are you twelve?”

“I’m Peter Pan, baby,” Jun joked, wiggling his eyebrows mischievously. “I don’t ever plan on growing up.” He swatted Jeonghan’s knee. “But that’s neither here nor there. Now stop withholding and spill.”

“Geezus, you’re like a damn dog with a bone,” Jeonghan grumbled, running a rough hand through his hair. “ _Fine_. There was no actual sex but orgasms were had and everyone went home happy. There. Does that satisfy your curiosity?”

“Not in the slightest,” Jun replied honestly. “But if there was no sex, why are you in pain?”

“I’m not in pain…exactly. Just…a little tender. Let’s just say that Seungcheol has a thing for asses – or _my_ ass specifically, I don’t know – and a lot of attention was paid to it. And there were teeth involved.”

“Kinky,” Jun murmured, nodding his approval.

“You have no idea…”

Jun absorbed that for a moment before asking, “But it was good?”

Despite himself, Jeonghan felt a smile tug at the corners of his mouth and didn’t bother to try to suppress it. “I don’t foresee ever having any complaints in that department.”

Jun nodded and patted Jeonghan’s knee again, this time gently, before climbing to his feet. “Good.”

As Jun stretched, a huge yawn splitting his lips wide, Jeonghan took stock of his friend, or what he was wearing rather, and realization finally set in.

Jun was still wearing his work “uniform”.

“You haven’t been home yet, have you?”

Jun froze, cheeks flushing as he turned to look down on Jeonghan. “Uh…”

“You dirty little whore,” Jeonghan laughed, shaking his head. “Talk about pot calling kettle.”

“Hey, at least I finished my shift,” Jun pointed out.

 “Touché.”

“Besides, I didn’t expect them to come back.”

Jeonghan cocked a brow. “Them?”

“The couple that bid on me.” Jun fluffed his hair, preening ever so slightly. “Apparently they had such a good time during our _ten minutes in heaven_ that they wanted another taste of Jun. I couldn’t very well deny them, could I?”

Jeonghan rolled his eyes dramatically but didn’t bother to reply.

“Plus, like you and your gentleman, there was no actual penetration involved. Well, not on my part at least. I was more of a spectator-director, and quite happy to leave it at that to be honest. Those two may be more than even I can handle. But jollies were had by all and I managed to acquire the other side of the lady’s earring. A matching set must be worth a fortune.”

Jeonghan frowned slightly. “You didn’t steal it, did you?”

Jun gasped exaggeratedly, grabbing his chest as if wounded. “What do you take me for? I’m no thief.” Dropping the façade, he grinned as he said, “Turns out milady is quite generous when she’s coming down from an orgasmic high. Can’t say I blame her. Dude’s got a big dick and he damn well knows how to use it from what I observed. They were still recovering when I let myself out. Didn’t think it would be wise to stick around for round two. Just in case.”

Jeonghan shook his head, laughing at how ridiculous his life had become in the past few months. If he hadn’t lived it, he would never have believed any of it was possible outside of the movies.

“Sounds like we both had quite a night,” he murmured.

Jun nodded in agreement.

“Still doesn’t explain why you’re _here_ , though.”

Jun rolled his eyes. “I wanted to hear about your night and tell you about mine, duh. Isn’t that what girlfriends do?” At Jeonghan’s narrowing eyes, he quickly corrected himself. “ _Boyfriends_. Geez, you really need to let that go. Embrace your inner queen, Hannie.”

Jeonghan merely ignored him and reached for his coffee.

“Anyway, I’m going to take a shower now,” Jun announced, walking over to his drawer in Jeonghan’s wardrobe and pulling out a change of clothes. “Then I’m going to crawl into that bed and sleep for ten hours. _Minimum_.”

“What if I have plans?” Jeonghan asked, not really irritated but not wanting to let Jun get away with being presumptuous.

Jun cocked a brow in question. “Do you? It’s Sunday and you’re not working. Are you planning on meeting your dude and actually getting around to some penetration in the midst of all that ass worshipping?”

Jeonghan blushed furiously. _Dammit_. “No. But I was thinking that I could squeeze in a tutoring session for Chan.” He hadn’t, really. He hadn’t planned anything beyond sleeping for as long as humanly possible.

“That’s nice of you. I’m sure he’ll appreciate it. Your bed and I will miss you.”

With that, Jun sauntered out the door and out of sight.

Sighing, Jeonghan unfolded himself, suppressing a wince when the sore spot on his ass pinched as he moved.

_Damn_ , Seungcheol had some sharp teeth. He prayed that that was all he had. He’d disinfected the thing after he’d showered but it still hurt like hell and he was pretty sure that his shots weren’t up-to-date.

He took the breakfast bag into the kitchen, grabbed a plate and took out one of the cream-cheese bagels from within.

Breakfast and drink in hand, he wandered over to the couch. He turned on the TV, flipping through the channels as he ate. He eventually settled on an old movie and, when he his bagel and coffee were both finished, lay down on the couch to watch it.

It wasn’t long before he fell asleep again, curled up tight around a throw pillow.

He was completely unaware when Jun strode in a short while later, still damp from his shower, and covered him with the thin blanket he always kept strewn across the back of the sofa. 

 

Even as his conscience told him to stop, Jeonghan shoveled another handful of gummy bears into his mouth.

It wasn’t his fault, really.

While Seungcheol had provided a mini-fridge full of drinks, which he always kept stocked, Chan had taken care of the snacks. Unfortunately, Chan was a growing sixteen year old with a ridiculously potent sweet tooth and his idea of snacks was 90% sugar. Usually, Jeonghan resisted temptation but he was a little low on energy at the moment and thought that a sugar boost would help. However, once he’d started he couldn’t seem to stop. It had been years since he’d indulged in sweets aside from the occasional pastry or slice of cake. Candy was almost never on the menu and he’d always had a weakness for gummy bears.

“Chan-ah.”

“Hmm?” Chan responded without looking up. He was doing a multiple-choice math paper that Jeonghan had found online.

“What do you do for fun?”

Chan paused, glancing up, his brows furrowed slightly. “Fun?”

“Yeah. What do you like to do when you’re not studying?”

It had occurred to Jeonghan that he’d never asked Chan about his hobbies or interests and the topic had never come up so he’d made a mental note to bring it up at some point.

However, it now struck him as odd that Chan didn’t seem to know how to answer the question if his furrowed brows and obvious puzzlement were anything to go by. It was as if _fun_ was a foreign concept.

“Do you like movies?” he asked, trying a different tactic.

Chan nodded, smiling. “Sometimes we have movie nights. We’ll order chicken and beer – soda for me, of course, though Hoshi-hyung lets me sip his beer sometimes – and have a marathon. Last month, we watched all the Mission Impossible movies. It was Mingyu-hyung’s turn to choose,” he explained. “He loves Tom Cruise. And explosions.”

Jeonghan smiled slightly. “What about going to the cinema?”

Chan shook his head. “Haven’t been there in a long time.”

“Really? Where do you usually go when you go out?”

Chan shrugged at the question, returning to his test. “The hyungs have more important things to do than take me places.”

A deep frown settled between Jeonghan’s brows. “So you don’t go anywhere? _At all_?”

Chan paused for a moment, seemingly thinking it through. “Sometimes I spend the night at Mingyu and Wonwoo-hyungs’ place. They have a cool aquarium.”

Jeonghan wasn’t the least bit surprised to learn that MinWon lived together but he set that aside for later, waiting for Chan to continue. When he didn’t, he prodded by asking, “And?”

“And…sometimes, if hyung goes out of town or gets super busy, Jihoon-hyung lets met sleep over. There’s a night-market near his apartment. It’s cool. He lets me eat whatever I want.”

“I see.” Forcing a smile to his lips, Jeonghan added, “That’s nice. The hyungs sound very cool.”

Chan smiled sweetly. “They are.”

Jeonghan dropped the topic for a few minutes as he let the information he’d received sink in.

He didn’t need his two undergrad psychology courses to tell him that Chan was incredibly under-socialized for a teenager, or that being locked up in a dingy warehouse 24/7 couldn’t possibly be healthy for him. It would be easy to lay the blame at Seungcheol’s feet but he surprised himself when his thoughts immediately came to Seungcheol’s defense before any kind of judgment could form. Seungcheol really was doing the best he could. Chan was clothed, fed and he had endless forms of entertainment, plus company. And he had hired him a tutor, upon request.

Chan had all the material comforts a boy his age could ever want.

It wasn’t enough, though.

“What did you like to do back when you were at home?” he found himself asking. “Before you came here.”

Chan shrugged. “Nothing much. Dad didn’t let me go out, really, so I mostly watched TV and played video games.”

Jeonghan’s frown returned full force. “What about friends? Did they come over to your house or did you go over to theirs?”

Chan shook his head. “Parents didn’t really like the idea of their kids hanging around with the son of the neighbourhood drunk, so…”

_Jesus Christ._ Had the kid had _any_ life at all? He’d essentially traded one form of isolation for another.

“How do you feel about a field trip?” Jeonghan asked suddenly, surprising himself.

Chan looked up, brows furrowed. “Field trip?”

“Yeah. I’m sure you went on a few back when you were in school.”

“Only the mandatory ones. Dad said anything else was a waste of money.”

_Fuckin’ A._

“Well, what I have in mind is absolutely free and I think you’ll love it.”

Chan eyed him suspiciously. “What is it?”

Jeonghan grinned as the thought fully formed in his mind. “A secret. For now. So what do you say?”

Chan continued to watch him for a minute longer, long enough for Jeonghan to wonder if he was going to turn him down flat. A typical teenager would’ve jumped at the chance for some freedom and fresh air but Chan wasn’t a typical teenager, was he? He’d already been through more than most people had to endure in their entire life and he was only sixteen.

“Okay,” he finally agreed, cracking a small smile.

Jeonghan’s grin widened. “Great. I’ll run it by your brother before I leave.”

He let Chan return to his test, munching on another handful of gummies to soothe his nerves before finally forcing himself to put the bottle back on the shelf. He spent the rest of the time mentally sorting through his idea for their little excursion and planning the next day’s lesson.

When Chan completed the test, they packed up and made their way back to the loft. Ordinarily, Jeonghan would mark it immediately but he had to get to work in an hour and he needed to grab dinner before he did so he decided to take the test home and correct it in the morning.

The whole crew was at the loft that day: Mingyu and Wonwoo watching a football match on television; Hoshi and Bitchy poring over a laptop on another sofa with the quiet, curly-haired blond sitting silently beside them; and Seungcheol and Jihoon at the dining table deep in discussion.

Everyone looked up as they walked in, an easy smile curving Seungcheol’s lips as he seemingly stopped mid-sentence and stood when they approached.

“Done already?” he queried.

Jeonghan nodded. “I have to grab dinner before I get to work so…”

“You could eat here,” Seungcheol offered.

Jeonghan flashed a small smile. “Thanks but I’ll get something on the way. I do have a favor to ask, though.”

“Anything,” Seungcheol replied quickly. “Just name it.”

Jeonghan bit his lip to stop his smile from turning into a full-fledged grin at Seungcheol’s eagerness.

“I was thinking about taking Chan on a field trip. I need to get some things in order but I wanted to get your permission first before I started making plans.”

“It shouldn’t be a problem. Just let me know when you’ve got the details sorted.”

Jeonghan nodded, pleased. “Will do.” He shifted his backpack on his shoulder, pointing in the direction of the door with his thumb. “I’d better get going. See you tomorrow.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to just eat here?” Seungcheol offered again. “It’d be easy to whip something up quickly, or I’m sure there are leftovers.”

Jeonghan had been treated to meals at the loft on multiple occasions so he had no problem accepting Seungcheol’s generosity but it was more convenient to eat once he’d made it to work and could take his time eating than it would be to scarf down his food and rush to make sure he got there in time for the shift change.

“I’m good. See ya.”

He turned and made his way towards the door, unsurprised to see Mingyu and Wonwoo already lingering just outside in the hallway. The quiet one was now standing at the door as well, leaning against the wall.

He was the only one whose name Jeonghan didn’t know and he’d barely heard him utter a word in the many times he’d been to the loft. When he did speak, his words were stiff and stilted, like someone getting used to the language.

On a hunch, Jeonghan stopped abreast of him and, in the best Mandarin he could muster, asked, “Are you from China, by chance?”

He prayed that he wasn’t wrong otherwise he would come off as a racist asshole. After all, as someone who’d traveled to several countries throughout his lifetime, he’d been on the receiving end of the “all Asians are Chinese” stereotype.

For a moment, the boy seemed to freeze. Then his eyes widened and immediately lit up. This was the most animated that Jeonghan had ever seen him.

“You speak Chinese?” he asked.

Jeonghan laughed, relieved that he’d been correct. “Very badly. A friend of mine taught me just enough to get by but I’m not fluent by any means.”

“How did you know?”

Jeonghan shrugged. “I guessed.”

“It must be really obvious, huh?” The boy’s brightness dimmed somewhat, his gaze dropping to the floor.

“Not really,” Jeonghan lied. “What’s your name?”

“Minghao.”

“Jeonghan,” he replied, even though the boy obviously knew his name already. He offered his hand, which the boy quickly shook. “Nice to meet you, Minghao.”

“You too.” A flush darkened his cheeks. “It’s been a long time since I’ve heard or even spoken my mother tongue.”

“I’m sorry.” Jeonghan couldn’t imagine living somewhere where he couldn’t speak or hear Korean on a daily basis.

“No. Thank _you_.” Minghao’s cheeks deepened. “I didn’t realize how much I missed it until just now.”

A thought popped into Jeonghan’s head but he bit his lip as he mulled it over before speaking again.

“If you like, I could put you in contact with my friend. His name is Jun. Wen Junhui. His family’s from China, like you. They moved here when he was a baby but he speaks both Korean and Mandarin fluently.”

“You would do that?” Minghao asked, eyes wide again with surprised delight.

Jeonghan nodded. “I’d be happy to. And I’m sure that Jun won’t mind. The only Chinese people he ever gets to talk to are his own family. He’d jump at the chance to meet someone new.”

“Okay. Then…yes. That would be great.”

Jeonghan grinned. “Cool. I’ll talk to him and get back to you.”

Minghao nodded enthusiastically. “Okay.”

“I have to go but…it was nice meeting you, Minghao.” Jeonghan flashed a smile again. “ _Officially_.”

Minghao chuckled. “Likewise.”

With a brief wave, Jeonghan stepped through the door and followed his towering chauffeurs down the hall.

 

* * *

 

 

Jeonghan didn’t get a chance to take Chan on a field trip as soon as he would have liked.

Though he and Jun were grad students, most of the others were undergrads and had finals coming up which led to shift changes in order to accommodate their hectic schedules. Jeonghan didn’t mind as his time was flexible but it meant that he had to reorganize his tutoring schedule with Chan as well.

He’d also explained to Chan that their excursion was simply postponed, not cancelled, but Chan had merely smiled in that Chan way of his and Jeonghan couldn’t suppress the stab of guilt he’d felt. The boy had already faced so much disappointment in his life; Jeonghan hadn’t wanted to be another one.

One evening he was wrapping up his shift, already mentally shifting gears from bar-tending to tutoring, when Seungcheol came in.

Ever since their… _butt-exploration_ , which was coincidentally the last time they’d been alone together, Jeonghan’s stomach had begun doing this weird flip-floppy thing at the sight of him. Tonight was no different.

Seungcheol flashed a smile and took a seat at his usual table. It was always a little jarring to see him on his own, even though it happened every once in a while. Jeonghan would never admit it but it also unnerved him a bit. He still didn’t know what criminal activities Seungcheol was involved in but he had no doubt that he could take care of himself, whatever that entailed. Still, he was positive that there was a reason that Mingyu and Wonwoo accompanied him the majority of the time.

Shaking off his thoughts, he poured Seungcheol his usual and walked over. It was early on a Wednesday evening – he’d worked the 1:00-8:00pm shift – and the bar wasn’t packed so he’d be able to leave on time. Sometimes, if there were a lot of customers and the night-shift staff hadn’t all arrived yet, Hyesung would ask him to stay an extra hour or two.

“I’ll be good to go in about ten minutes,” he said as he placed Seungcheol’s drink in front of him.

Seungcheol smiled. “I’m in no hurry.”

Jeonghan returned to the bar and cleaned up, pouring a couple more drinks before his relief came in. At 8:00 on the dot, he stepped out from behind the bar and made his way to the locker room to grab his things.

After signing out in Hyesung’s office, he made his way back to Seungcheol.

“Ready?” Seungcheol asked, even though it wasn’t necessary.

Jeonghan nodded, hefting his bag strap higher on his shoulder.

Seungcheol drained his glass and stood, placing a light hand on Jeonghan’s elbow as they walked out.

It took him a good five minutes in the car before he realized that they were headed into the city, which he was pretty sure was the opposite direction of the warehouse despite never having seen the actual route.

“Where are we going?” he asked, trying his best not to sound suspicious.

“Chan isn’t feeling well,” Seungcheol informed him.

Jeonghan frowned. “Really? He didn’t mention anything when we texted earlier.”

“He went overboard with the candy last night and has been nursing a stomach-ache ever since. You know how gluttonous he can be. I keep warning him about all that sugar but he never listens.”

Jeonghan knew that it wasn’t implausible, having seen Chan in action himself. Still…

“He should’ve said something. I would’ve understood.”

“He wouldn’t say anything to you because he knows how precious your time is, between work, school and helping him out, and he wouldn’t want to waste it.”

Seungcheol’s answers were smooth and practical, which made them all the more believable. If Jeonghan weren’t such a skeptical person, he wouldn’t question it at all.

Deciding to keep his suspicions to himself, he said instead, “Okay. So where are we headed?”

To this, Seungcheol smiled widely, glancing over at him. “Dinner. I figured you’d be hungry – I know I am – and we haven’t had a chance to talk for a while.”

“Talk?”

“About Chan; how he’s progressing.” _Smooth, smooth, smooth._

“Right.”

Jeonghan wasn’t the least bit surprised when, twenty minutes later, they pulled into the underground parking lot of the hotel that they’d had dinner at the first time.

He was glad that he hadn’t gone ahead and changed out of his work shirt and into a casual tee like he’d wanted to. He was going to be underdressed enough as it was in a plain black shirt and jeans.

He brought along his knapsack despite Seungcheol’s suggestion to leave it in the car. There was always the chance that he might have to make his way home on his own later. A side-trip to Seungcheol’s car for his things would be most inconvenient, not to mention awkward.

When they got to the restaurant, his bag was taken and tucked away out of sight and they were immediately shown to a table by the window, overlooking the city. The sky wasn’t clear enough to make the view spectacular but the lights down below would always be a sight worth seeing.

Shortly after, a waiter approached with a bottle of wine – the same kind that they’d had the last time – and poured them each a glass before retreating.

Jeonghan cocked an eyebrow at his companion, not missing the light flush in his cheeks, but reserved comment as he raised his glass to clink it with Seungcheol’s proffered one. _Smooth_.

“So,” he began, placing his glass on the table after a couple of healthy sips and a refill. “Did you really want to talk about Chan?”

“Among other things,” Seungcheol replied. Seemingly realizing how that might have sounded, he rushed to clarify by adding, “Talking things. I just thought that…we could talk. Is it so bad that I want to get to know you better?”

Jeonghan swallowed the laugh that had risen in his throat at the panicked look in Seungcheol’s eyes and gave him a considering look of his own.

“Is this going to turn into a twenty questions kind of thing?”

Seungcheol shrugged. “If you prefer it that way.”

It was natural, he supposed, for Seungcheol to be curious about him. They’d been orbiting each other for months, not to mention that they’d almost had sex. And probably would in the future, if he was honest with himself. He should be happy that Seungcheol was actually interested in Jeonghan _the person_ and wasn’t just pretending as a means to an end. He _should_.

“Okay,” he finally agreed. “Ask away. But I reserve the right not to answer.”

“Fair enough.” Seungcheol stared at him silently for a few minutes, as if now that he had permission he had no idea where to begin. “Um… How’s school?”

Jeonghan looked at him incredulously. “Seriously? _That’s_ your first question?”

“It’s a sincere one.”

“School is…fine. My thesis is coming along. Almost complete, actually.”

“That’s good. Great. Pretty soon you’ll have more free time.”

Jeonghan cocked his head to the side, wondering if there was some hidden implication in Seungcheol’s words. “So it seems.”

“So…you’ve been working at the bar for about three months now?”

“Another throw-away but yes. I wouldn’t be surprised if you even know what day I started.”

Seungcheol ignored the barb, asking instead, “Do you like it?”

“It’s…interesting.” He paused, taking a moment to think. “It’s different than I thought it would be.” He shrugged. “Better, I guess. I expected the worst when Jun told me where he was working, and when I first saw it for myself, but Hyesung’s done a great job carving out his own little world in the middle of all that…” He trailed off, not wanting to say anything that Seungcheol might take offense to.

“Filth?” Seungcheol finished, lips curved in a wry smile. “It is what it is. There’s no need to pretend it’s anything but.”

Jeonghan nodded, lifting his wine glass to take a sip as his throat had suddenly gone dry.

Their waiter reappeared and took their orders. He decided to try something different this time. If Seungcheol was going to make these “dates” a regular thing then he might as well make his way through the menu.

“This might be a bit personal,” Seungcheol began, “but I’m assuming since you weren’t working before that your parents paid for your undergraduate degree, right?”

Jeonghan nodded.

“What changed? Why aren’t they helping you now?”

“Huh.” He’d expected Seungcheol to use this opportunity to grill him about his love and sex life but he’d surprised him so far by not prying into the obvious areas. It made it hard to refuse him though it went against his nature to talk about himself at all. “Let’s just say that we had a difference of opinion. They had a different path in mind for me and when I refused to follow, they cut the purse strings.”

Seungcheol frowned. “That seems petty.”

Jeonghan laughed. “I think that _they_ thought that once things started to get tough, I’d come crawling back. But I had some savings, thanks to them and many generous monetary gifts from family members throughout the years, and when I realized that that wasn’t going to last much longer, I got a job. My parents have always thought that I was a lot more dependent on them than I actually am. It might be wishful thinking on their part.”

“You’re an only child, aren’t you?”

He nodded again.

“That’s probably why. They just don’t want to lose you.”

“I know. And they won’t. Us having a difference of opinion on what I should do with my life doesn’t make me any less their son. They’re just too stubborn to realize that. Cutting me off achieved absolutely nothing other than putting a strain between us. Money is no incentive to me.”

Seungcheol chuckled. “Should I take note?”

“If you like,” Jeonghan replied, smiling over the rim of his glass.

“What are you studying, by the way? You never said.”

Jeonghan’s smile grew wider and he took a long sip of his wine, making no attempt to answer the question.

Seungcheol’s brows furrowed and he opened his mouth as if to say something before closing it again, then asking something else having accepted that, for some reason, he wasn’t going to get an answer to that question.

When their meal arrived, they stopped talking for a stretch to savor the food, which was once again mind-blowingly delicious. Eventually, Seungcheol started back his questions which Jeonghan, now even more relaxed, answered carelessly.

“Can I ask _you_ something?” Jeonghan queried suddenly.

“Sure,” Seungcheol replied immediately, looking all too eager to please. “Anything.”

“What are you?” At Seungcheol’s confusion, he clarified, “Orientation wise. Gay, bi, what?” Jeonghan knew, from what Chan had said, that Seungcheol had dated women in the past but he didn’t want to make any assumptions.

Seungcheol mulled it over a moment before shrugging and saying, “I’ve never really thought about it. Never saw the need to put a label on it. I like what I like, I guess. Whether it’s a man or a woman, it’s all the same to me.”

Jeonghan grinned. “You’re not going to get corny on me and say that it’s the personality that counts are you?”

Seungcheol laughed, the sound rich and deep. “Well, it’s true. But I’m honest enough to admit that the packaging factors into the equation. Sometimes, it’s what’s on the outside that makes you want to get to know what’s on the inside.” His eyes slid over Jeonghan – the half of him that he could see – as he spoke before meeting his gaze again, sending a shiver down his spine.

Jeonghan raised his glass and drained it, almost choking as the liquid rushed down his throat.

“What about you?” Seungcheol asked.

“No mystery here,” Jeonghan replied nonchalantly. “I swing one way and one way only.”

Seungcheol nodded. “Cool.”

They returned to their meals but the questions kept coming. Innocent little inquiries about what he did with his free time, etc. He looked up a couple of times and saw a really intense look in Seungcheol’s eyes that made him think he was holding back on asking what he really wanted to know, perhaps putting it off for another time when he felt that Jeonghan might be more willing to answer any and everything he asked.

Jeonghan had to admire his restraint. He couldn’t say that he’d have done the same.

Seungcheol ordered another bottle of wine, despite Jeonghan’s protestations. He never drank much, something that Jun always made fun of him for – _“You’re wasting your youth. Your liver is so much healthier now than it’ll be in twenty years, why are you not taking advantage of that?”_ – but this particular wine was just too good to resist. He told himself that he’d only have one more glass but that turned into two and before he knew it the bottle was half-empty. He wasn’t drunk, though, thank goodness. He just felt really…mellow and loose.

After their dishes had been cleared away, nothing but the half-empty bottle of wine and their glasses left on the table, a lull fell between them.

In the ensuing silence, Jeonghan found himself staring at Seungcheol. He wore his usual black – his _uniform_ , as Jeonghan secretly thought of it – but the top two buttons had come undone revealing a pale V beneath. Jeonghan remembered the feel of his skin, how warm and firm it was, the gentle shifting of muscle beneath the thin membrane. And he knew that beneath the table, within the confines of his fitted black pants, his bulge, when he was aroused, would be barely restrained; his thighs lean, solid muscle.

“So…is this the part where we move onto the main event?” he asked coolly, lifting an eyebrow.

Seungcheol’s eyes widened owlishly as he blinked at Jeonghan, uncomprehending.

“You’ve wined me, dined me. Now…” he purposely trailed off, watching Seungcheol’s eyes widen even further as he filled in the blanks.

“That’s not…” he sputtered. “I didn’t…”

Jeonghan swallowed furiously, doing his best to suppress the laughter that threatened to burst out of his throat. God, Seungcheol’s face was priceless. It was endearing, honestly, how someone as charismatic and attractive as Seungcheol could be on his game one minute and floundering like a virgin the next.

“ _Seungcheol_.” He stared into Seungcheol’s eyes, willing him to understand what he was trying to say.

It took him a minute but he eventually did, gulping visibly as stood. His hands were shaking slightly, which Jeonghan again found adorable. It was heart-warming to know that Seungcheol wasn’t a cocky bastard who assumed that sex was a foregone conclusion at the end of a date.

He held a hand out to Jeonghan, which he took as he stood, and gripped the neck of the wine bottle with the other, much to Jeonghan’s surprise.

“ _Really?_ ”

Seungcheol shrugged, already pulling him towards the Maître D’s station. “You like it. Why let it go to waste?”

Jeonghan’s bag resurfaced and they were on their way towards the elevator.

He spared a moment to wonder if or when Seungcheol would get around to paying their bill since it was hardly customary to simply walk out after dining. Did he know the owner? Was _he_ the owner? He found that unlikely but, hell, he had no idea, did he?

They were silent as they got into the elevator, standing apart as the doors closed, but electricity and anticipation hummed between them. It had the hair on the back of Jeonghan’s neck standing on end.

He’d expected Seungcheol to press the button for the basement parking lot, assuming that they were going to the loft, so he was more than a little taken aback when the elevator starting moving up instead.

He glanced over at Seungcheol but his eyes were trained on the display, the red numbers increasing as they ascended. They came to a stop about five floors up and when the doors opened, Seungcheol placed a hand at the small of his back, guiding him out of the elevator and down the plush-carpeted, elegantly decorated hallway.

They came to a stop in front of a pair of large doors made out of a thick, glossy wood.

Seungcheol dropped his hand and moved to swipe a card in a slot to the side. There was a soft beep before he walked back to the double doors and pushed them open.

The first thing Jeonghan realized upon entering was that the room was huge. In fact, it wasn’t a room: it was a suite, and he was only standing in the – beautifully white – living room.

He looked over at Seungcheol, forced to wonder if perhaps he _had_ put some thought into their after-dinner activities after all.

Seungcheol’s face remained impassive, however, giving nothing away.

Jeonghan set his bag down in a wide, fluffy white chair that looked like it would swallow him whole and made his way around the room. It was really quite beautiful, glaring white high-lighted with shades of gold. He could only imagine how much it cost to rent for a night.

The sky was a bit clearer than it had been earlier and from even higher up, the view through the floor-to-ceiling window was breath-taking.

He felt Seungcheol’s presence behind him before his arms slid around his waist.

He raised his hands and rested them lightly atop Seungcheol’s but made no attempt to move, continuing to stare out at the night and the city teeming with life below them.

He was all too aware of Seungcheol, the long, lean line of his body behind him; the slight bump pressed into his ass…

…and there was entirely too much clothes between them.

Shifting in Seungcheol’s arms, he took his hand and led the way to the pair of French doors behind which hid the bedroom, thin lacy curtains the only thing providing any privacy between the rooms.

He pushed one of the doors open, not bothering to close it since they were alone, and continued towards the bed.

He stopped at the foot of the bed, turning to look at Seungcheol for a long moment, before placing his hands on his shoulders and pushing him down on it.

As soon as Seungcheol’s ass made contact with the bed, Jeonghan straddled his thighs.

He slid slim fingers through Seungcheol’s silky black hair, tugging lightly in places, eyes glued to Seungcheol's, gauging his reaction.

Seungcheol’s eyes were wide again, pupils twice their normal size, as he stared back at Jeonghan. His lips were slightly parted, giving him a somewhat awed look.

“What do you want?” Jeonghan asked, voice intentionally low and sultry.

Seungcheol licked his lips nervously. “What?”

“I said…” Jeonghan slowly lowered his head until his lips were barely brushing the shell of Seungcheol’s ear. “What…do you…want?”

He felt the shiver as it coursed through Seungcheol, his hips twitching upwards between Jeonghan’s spread thighs.

He didn’t answer immediately, not at all in fact, but his hands clamped onto Jeonghan’s ass like he couldn’t help himself. Which, knowing what he did about Seungcheol’s affinity for glutes, was probably the case.

Jeonghan leaned back, butt resting snugly in Seungcheol’s palms, and stared into his face once more. There was a slight beading of sweat around his temples.

_He really is nervous_ , he thought to himself.

He pressed a light kiss to Seungcheol’s left temple, then the right, then across his forehead, down his cheek, his nose, slowing making his way inward until he reached the corner of his mouth. By then Seungcheol’s eyes were heavy-lidded and dazed, his breath a little louder, chest heaving ever so slightly.

He pressed a soft kiss squarely onto Seungcheol’s lips, just the one, before settling back in his hands again.

He waited. _One, two, three…_

The air was knocked out of his lungs as Seungcheol flipped them over and he landed on his back, eyes widening at the abrupt movement.

Seungcheol crawled over him, startlingly predatory compared to a minute ago, and captured his lips roughly, forcing his tongue into the warm recesses of his mouth.

He tasted of meat and wine and his own special flavor, whatever it was that made him _him_.

He gripped Jeonghan’s jaw, tilting his head back as he continued to plunder his mouth, grinding his pelvis into Jeonghan’s in a slow, smooth roll.

Jeonghan parted his legs, just enough for Seungcheol to settle in the cradle of his hips, to make it more comfortable for himself.

He didn’t know how long the kiss went on, only that his lips stung – undoubtedly bruised – when Seungcheol finally pulled back.

He knelt between Jeonghan’s thighs, looking down at him as he struggled to catch his breath.

Jeonghan trailed his hands up Seungcheol’s sides, then down the middle of his torso before tugging his shirt out of his pants and unbuttoning it quickly.

Seungcheol shrugged it off, tossing it over his shoulder before reaching down to return the favor.

It was a bit difficult for Jeonghan to rise up enough to get out of his shirt with Seungcheol’s weight pinning his hips but they managed.

Seungcheol’s eyes narrowed as they locked onto his bare skin, the heat of it spreading down Jeonghan’s chest and stomach as they trailed over him.

It was hard not to feel desirable when someone looked like they wanted to consume you.

Seungcheol himself was an awesome sight. His shoulders appeared even wider without his black shirt, arms lightly corded with muscle and veins. His chest was slightly developed; nipples brown and flat; abs tightly bunched as he hunched over Jeonghan.

Jeonghan lifted a hand and settled a palm on Seungcheol’s stomach, noticing for the first time how smooth it was. He trailed a finger along the waist of Seungcheol’s pants before deftly undoing his belt, the button and zip. He spread the V of his fly slightly, just to reveal a bit more skin and noted that the smoothness continued there as well.

“So smooth,” he whispered, voice barely above a breath, brushing light fingers up and down Seungcheol’s torso.

Seungcheol cocked a brow in question. “Problem?”

Jeonghan shook his head. “No. Just…surprising. I didn’t take you for the manscaping type.”

Seungcheol smiled. “When I was two, my dad taught me how to swim. He was a pretty good swimmer, as was his dad before him. I continued swimming as I got older and my coach even thought that I could try out for the national team, maybe even go onto the Olympics one day.” He paused. “I had to stop in high school.”

Jeonghan’s hands stilled, as Seungcheol’s words sank in. “To take up boxing.” There was no question in his the statement; he’d already put two and two together.

“To take up boxing,” Seungcheol agreed. “But the habit stuck. It was too deeply ingrained in me by that point, I guess. This hotel has a pretty decent-sized pool on the top floor. Sometimes I come here at night, if I need to clear my head or just want some time alone, and make a few laps. Then I just float around and stare up at the sky.”

Jeonghan didn’t know what to say. He felt…well, _grateful_ that Seungcheol trusted him enough to share that little tidbit with him but “thank you” was hardly the appropriate response.

“And you?” Seungcheol asked, gesturing to Jeonghan’s similarly hairless torso.

“Personal preference,” he answered simply. He wasn’t opposed to body hair; he just didn’t care for it on his person. Except for those times when he honestly couldn’t be bothered and let it all grow out until he felt like it was getting out of control. Much like he treated the hair on his head.

_Speaking of…_

Seungcheol reached beneath him and pulled the tie from his already mussed hair, fluffing the strands until they spread like a brown halo around his head on the bed.

“You’re quite beautiful, you know,” Seungcheol said softly.

Now Jeonghan _did_ thank him.

Seungcheol bent over and pressed a soft kiss to his lips but it was short, his true intent making itself known as he kissed his way down Jeonghan’s neck, pausing to suck at his pulse for a minute, before continuing on his way. He nibbled and sucked his way across Jeonghan’s chest, paying considerable attention to his nipples, leaving them wet and tingly as he licked his way to his navel.

Seungcheol had hit all of Jeonghan’s major erogenous zones, particularly his nipples, so by the time he reached his jeans he was achingly hard and about ready to burst. He was tempted to beg Seungcheol to just fuck him already but he bit his tongue, swallowing the words as his heart raced in his chest. Jeonghan _never_ begged.

Seungcheol had a bit of trouble with his jeans, trying to get it off given his current state, but after a minor tug-of-war, Jeonghan’s legs spilled out and open, finally free of their confines. His shoes and briefs had disappeared behind Seungcheol with his jeans, no doubt joining Seungcheol’s shirt.

Seungcheol licked his lips as he looked down at him, a hungry animal already tasting the feast that lay before him, and Jeonghan _silently_ pleaded, through lidded eyes and now pressed-together thighs, for a swift release.

Seungcheol, however, had other plans.

He scooted off the bed, walking around the side to the nightstand, and opened the top drawer, withdrawing a strip of condoms and a couple of packets – lube, Jeonghan assumed – before returning to his previous position.

The look Jeonghan threw him was sharp and accusing, a slight feeling of betrayal creeping into his lusty haze, but Seungcheol simply shrugged, saying,

“I planned better.”

_Touché, asshole._

Tossing the items onto the bed beside them, Seungcheol lightly gripped Jeonghan’s calves and parted them, applying gentle pressure until he bent his knees and allowed Seungcheol to push them up until his heels almost met his ass.

Jeonghan relaxed his body completely, happily letting Seungcheol take the reins and manhandle him into whatever position he wanted him. As long as an epic orgasm was on the horizon, he was game for anything.

He was taken by surprise, however, when Seungcheol lifted his leg by a slim ankle and pressed his lips to it.

An unbidden gasp slipped from his lips at the first feel of pressure, tingles emanating from the spot racing through his body.

Seungcheol’s grip tightened slightly when Jeonghan’s leg twitched in his grip but he was deterred. He kissed his way up the inside of Jeonghan’s leg inch by inch, purposely slow, his eyes locked with Jeonghan’s as he did.

Jeonghan was experiencing the sweetest pain he’d ever known. His dick was so hard that it physically hurt, pre-cum steadily leaking onto his quivering stomach; sweat dotting his brow. He was so tempted, and it would be so easy, to just wrap a hand around himself and end his agony. One stroke, maybe two: that’s all it would take. But he was trapped in Seungcheol’s gaze, in this game: whatever it was he was doing. He wanted it to be Seungcheol who got him off; was determined not to lay a hand on himself until he gave Seungcheol a chance to show him what he could do.

When Seungcheol got to his inner thigh, which was even more sensitive, his heart tripped: pelvis unabashedly thrusting upwards of its own volition.

Seungcheol was unperturbed, continuing to take his time with his ministrations.

When he got to the juncture of his thighs, hair brushing against his balls and the base of his shaft, Jeonghan expected him to – _finally_ – get down to business. He growled, actually growled, when Seungcheol shifted backward, lifted his other leg and started over.

“ _Fucker_ ,” he swore, but the word might as well have been a purr for all the venom it had in it.

Seungcheol smiled against his skin and the soft kiss he pressed to it suggested that he agreed.

Jeonghan took deep breaths, counting mentally as he endured Seungcheol’s seemingly endless teasing. He would get him back for it, one day. Jeonghan never begged but he would make sure that Seungcheol did. _One day._

When Seungcheol approached the apex of his thighs again – _thank you, Jesus!_ – he stilled, bracing himself for…well, he wasn’t sure but if Seungcheol _dared_ to try to prolong the good stuff even further he was going to kick him. _In the face_.

His eyes rolled back into his head when Seungcheol first breathed on then took his balls into his mouth. His lips closed around him like a vacuum while his tongue moved in small, undulating waves against the sensitive skin.

Jeonghan’s breathing grew heavier, louder: the echo of his pants the only sound in the large room.

Eventually, Seungcheol released him from the warm cavern of his mouth but his tongue continued working, licking a stripe up the underside of his shaft until he reached his engorged head.

Eyes locked with Jeonghan’s, he tongued at the weeping slit, a smirk curving the corners of his mouth when Jeonghan moaned softly. He circled the base of his head, around and around until Jeonghan felt like he wanted to scream, before finally, _finally_ , taking it fully into his mouth.

_Don’t come, don’t come, don’t come._

It was a chant in his head, a cry to the heavens to grant him a little more endurance than usual. His refractory period wasn’t the best: if he came now, it might be hours before he could do it again and he really wanted Seungcheol in his ass when he did.

Seungcheol sucked on his head for a few minutes before sliding down an inch, then returning to the start. He did it several times, taking an extra inch in each go, before coming back up.

Jeonghan really wanted to kill him at that point, and he might have if it didn't feel so damn good. He was going to get what he wanted eventually, of that he had no doubt; Seungcheol was just determined to make him suffer first, it seemed.

When he finally hit the back of Seungcheol’s throat, his back arched off the bed, a low moan tearing from his throat. His eyes slid shut, goosebumps pimpling his skin as his sweat cooled in the chilled air of the air-conditioned room.

Seungcheol stayed still for a moment, savoring, adjusting, Jeonghan had no clue, before he slid up slowly, releasing Jeonghan from his mouth completely.

His wet dick dangled in the air for what felt like hours, the cold causing shivers to race down his spine, but he didn’t open his eyes, simply waiting because he knew that more was coming.

When it came, when Seungcheol’s mouth closed around him once more, it was joined by a gentle nudge at his hole, the uncomfortable coldness of the lube drawing another shiver from him as Seungcheol gently pushed in.

Sadly, it was just his finger. Jeonghan craved something more, something thicker and hotter that would stretch and fill him, but when Seungcheol brushed against his prostate, all thoughts of complaint went out the window.

His right leg, which had mostly been trembling off to Seungcheol’s side, found its way over his shoulder and onto his back.

Seungcheol shifted him then, throwing his other leg over his shoulder and pushing upwards so that he rocked back onto the small of his back, his hips slightly lifted off the bed. Seungcheol didn’t once let up on Jeonghan’s dick, didn’t lose his rhythm fucking him with his finger.

Jeonghan wasn’t going to last much longer. With two fingers now in his ass and Seungcheol’s mouth working relentlessly on his shaft, it was a miracle that he’d held out for as long as he had. He actually hadn’t had an orgasm in over a week and that time had been a quick jerk in the shower. He and Jun had either been too busy or simply not interested in more than best-friend cuddles in recent weeks.

Thinking of Jun made him wonder if he was being too quiet. It was something that Jun complained about from time to time.

_“How am I supposed to know if you’re enjoying it if you don’t_ tell _me?!”_

Jeonghan was not and would never be porn star material. He didn’t talk during sex, didn’t make loud, lewd noises: the occasional moan and groan being the most that ever came out of him.

Seungcheol seemed to have no problem knowing what he liked, what felt good, though. He’d noticed that if he reacted, either by shifting his hips closer or away, whenever Seungcheol did something, he would or would not do it again. He’d shown himself to be a very attentive lover so far.

When he felt that all too familiar burn in his stomach, he finally opened his eyes to look down at Seungcheol. The sight of his lips wrapped around his swollen flesh, eyes intense, black pools as they met Jeonghan’s, almost sent him over the edge.

Seungcheol looked so good with a mouth full of cock. Not the most complimentary thing to think about a person but it didn’t make it any less true.

He threaded a hand through Seungcheol’s hair, gently tugging at the strands. Seungcheol moaned around him, eyes fluttering shut for a moment.

_Fuck_ , he was hot.

Just then, Seungcheol twisted his fingers inside him, thrusting deep and firm against his prostate, ripping a moan from his throat.

Fuck, he was going to come.

He didn’t know what Seungcheol’s protocol on spitting or swallowing was so he figured it was the polite thing to warn him.

He tightened his grip in Seungcheol’s hair, tugging his head upward and breathing a husky “ _Seungcheol_ ”, the only speech he could manage as he teetered on the edge.

Despite his efforts, Seungcheol bore down, engulfing his cock to the root, his free hand rolling Jeonghan’s balls within its grasp.

He plunged his fingers faster, harder, inside of him and Jeonghan gave in, releasing Seungcheol’s hair as he squeezed his thighs around his head, not caring in the moment whether Seungcheol could breathe or not, thrust upward and spilled his release.

His toes and fingers curled, breath seizing in his chest and eyes burning with a surprising rush of moisture as wave after wave of ecstasy washed over him.

Seungcheol swallowed around him, milking his orgasm with every contraction of his oral muscles.

When Jeonghan’s body went completely lax and lifeless, only then did Seungcheol finally withdraw his fingers. He let Jeonghan slip from his mouth, soft and spent, and pressed tender kisses to his inner thighs, which had fallen open, lewd and inviting, once he’d finished coming.

He had never felt like this before: completely wrung out and bordering on comatose. Well..except for that one time when he’d actually been unconscious, he supposed, but he naturally had no memory of it.

He couldn’t move, couldn’t think, and honestly didn’t want to for a long, long time.

Jeonghan watched Seungcheol through a haze, as if from a distance, as he stood up and undid his pants, kicking them off and away to join the rest of their clothes. He heard, more than saw, the tearing of the condom packet and the slick glide of Seungcheol’s lubed hand as he pumped himself before kneeling between Jeonghan’s thighs.

Seungcheol pushed his legs up again, like he had the first time, gripping his hip with one hand to tilt him just right as he aligned himself with the other and slid into Jeonghan’s tight heat.

Jeonghan winced slightly, unable to hide it from Seungcheol’s vigilant eyes. He was still coming down from his orgasm, which meant that while he was still open from the stretch of Seungcheol’s fingers, he was also quite sensitive.

Seungcheol leaned forward, which drove him even deeper, running a gentle hand through Jeonghan’s unruly hair. “You okay?” he breathed against his cheek.

Jeonghan took a deep breath, releasing it slowly as he took stock of his body. He wouldn’t come again, of that he was absolutely sure, but he thought that he could endure Seungcheol’s presence inside of him long enough for him to come. Hopefully he was primed after all the attention he’d paid to Jeonghan and wouldn’t need much to get him across the finish line.

Nodding, he clamped his knees into Seungcheol’s sides, rocking his hips ever so slightly in encouragement.

Seungcheol hooked his elbow under Jeonghan’s knee, opening him up ever so slightly, before pulling back and thrusting again.

If possible, Jeonghan felt him more the second time than he did the first. He didn’t wince this time, though. The sensation was bordering the line between _“ouch”_ and painfully pleasant. He felt uncomfortably full at first, stretched wider than he was used to, but after a few more silky thrusts, the scale tipped further towards pleasant and he allowed himself to relax, settling in to watch Seungcheol now that he was more clear-headed and focused.

Seungcheol’s face was an amalgamation of expressions. One minute he was slack-jawed, tongue slightly hanging out of his mouth as he panted in time with his thrusts; the next he was gritting his teeth or biting his lip, eyes narrowed to slits as he ground into Jeonghan.

If not for the consistent brushing of his prostate keeping him grounded, Jeonghan would’ve felt marginally removed from the situation. It was just fascinating watching someone else seek their pleasure while his own body out for the count. It absently made him wonder what _he_ looked like when he was in the throes of passion.

Unlike him, Seungcheol _was_ a talker. He didn’t ramble the way Jun tended to – _“Right there, right there. Feels so good, you’re so hot for me.”_ – but he did swear a lot, a series of _fucks_ bursting forth every couple of minutes to differing degrees of length.

This went on for quite a while, long enough that Jeonghan’s cock had resurrected to make a futile attempt at joining the party. Not surprising, the way that Seungcheol kept ruthlessly ramming his sweet spot.

Something ultimately changed between them, though. Something that he didn’t see coming and, afterwards, couldn’t quite explain.

Jeonghan saw it in Seungcheol’s eyes first. Gone were the shifting expressions, the almost dopey hound dog look on his face. His eyes were suddenly very sharp, very intense; their dark depths boring into Jeonghan and making him feel a new kind of discomfort.

Seungcheol dropped Jeonghan’s leg and flattened himself onto his body, his entire weight pressing down on him with the exception of his elbows, which he planted firmly into the mattress on either side of Jeonghan’s head.

In this new position, Seungcheol could only manage short, aborted thrusts; mostly grinding to be honest.

If Jeonghan thought that he’d felt uncomfortable and full before…

He wanted to ask him what the fuck he was doing but he couldn’t get his mouth to work, couldn’t tear his eyes away from Seungcheol’s. It was like he was trapped in his gaze, captive and captivated.

He didn’t sign up for this, whatever _this_ was. He’d expected a good time, he’d been having a good time, until now. Now it was just…too much. Too close, too intense, too real.

He couldn’t do anything but watch Seungcheol watch him. He’d never felt so powerless in his life.

Eventually, _finally_ , he started seeing signs that Seungcheol was close. He was shaking ever so slightly, blinking frequently as if he was struggling to stay focused, and his thrusts were becoming more and more erratic.

Jeonghan did his best to aid him along, trying to move his hips in tandem but with Seungcheol’s entire weight pinning him down, every movement he made brought him pain, forcing him to stay still. He resorted to sliding his hands up Seungcheol’s back instead and tugging at his hair, which he seemed to like.

Seungcheol’s breathing was becoming ragged, his _“fucks”_ more drawn out and guttural.

When Seungcheol’s eyes squeezed shut, Jeonghan tightened his grip in his hair, drawing a loud moan from the man on top of him, and after a few more thrusts, he felt him twitching inside of him. Seungcheol came on a loud, rattling exhale, like he’d run a marathon and finally made it across the finish line.

He thrusted his way through his orgasm, was still thrusting on autopilot even after he’d stopped pulsing inside of Jeonghan, before eventually collapsing on top of him, a broad-shouldered, dead weight.

He tucked his face into Jeonghan’s neck, pressing kisses and whispering indistinguishable words into his skin.

Jeonghan patted his back gently, afraid and unable to move otherwise. He was going to be extremely sore in the morning. He didn’t mind too much, though, cherishing this moment of quiet commiseration between them, especially after the period of weird intensity that had cropped up out of nowhere.

After some time, Seungcheol pulled out and rolled off, lying on his back beside him as he caught his breath.

Jeonghan was hit with a sudden blast of cold air after having Seungcheol’s body blanketing him for so long. His cock was at full attention now, having been rubbed to hardness between his and Seungcheol’s stomachs, but he paid no attention to it. Maybe when he got home, if he had the strength. For now, he was quite content to just lay there and drift.

When he realized that drifting was fast becoming dozing, he knew that it was time to go. He glanced over at Seungcheol, who had thrown an arm over his eyes and was unmoving, before gingerly getting to his feet and limping his way to the en suite bathroom.

Like the rest of the suite, the bathroom was all gleaming, glaringly-white tiled surfaces and gold fixtures. The tub and shower were separate and the tub was huge, a Jacuzzi tub if he wasn’t mistaken. He would’ve loved nothing more than to fill it up and soak for hours on end but he didn’t have the luxury at the moment. If he stayed any longer, he would fall asleep and he couldn’t have that. His rule might seem silly to some but it was a rule for a reason.

Sighing, he made his way to the shower, setting the temperature on high and standing beneath the blistering spray for several minutes before turning it to near freezing cold. It was something that he often did when he needed to wake up: also his version of aqua therapy.

He cleaned briskly, promising himself a long soak the next morning, before shutting off the shower, drying thoroughly and wrapping himself in one of the complementary thick, fluffy robes.

Seungcheol was still lying inert by the time he walked back out but he was awake and watching, his dark eyes following him as he made his way to the foot of the bed and picked through the pile of clothes for his things.

He felt no shame as he dropped the robe and dressed, feeling Seungcheol’s gaze sliding over him like a warm touch. It might as well be considering how intimately acquainted Seungcheol was with his body now.

When he was finished, hair damp and hanging in ringlets about his face, he turned back to Seungcheol.

He had a stormy look in his eyes, one that Jeonghan could easily interpret, but he didn’t say what he was so obviously thinking.

Jeonghan moved to the side of the bed, perching on the edge beside him. He reached over and ran a hand through Seungcheol’s own damp hair, trailing fingers across his sweaty brow.

“I’m taking the wine,” he informed him, voice still soft and throaty. Leaning in, he pressed a kiss to Seungcheol’s lips, soft and teasing, the blunt edges of his teeth just scraping Seungcheol’s bottom lip before he sat back. “Tell Chan that I hope he feels better.”

Seungcheol remained silent and still, though the storm in his eyes seemed to have calmed a bit.

Jeonghan gave his cheek a parting pat before standing and walking towards the open French doors. As he stepped through, he paused, fingers curling around the thin wood, and glanced back over his shoulder.

“You should text me sometime.”

Leaving Seungcheol to make of that what he would, he continued to the small kitchenette that he’d only glimpsed when he first walked in, grabbed the bottle of wine that Seungcheol had thoughtfully put in the refrigerator, carefully stuffed it in his bag, praying that it remained upright since it was uncorked, and let himself out of the suite.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTICE: My house is undergoing some renovations so I'm not sure when I'll be able to update again. I'm going to try my best to get in at least one more chapter before they turnover my computer room (I don't have a laptop) but after that, it may be a while. BUT considering that I only update about once a month or so, it should be about the same. Just letting you guys know as a just-in-case so there won't be a flood of "update soon" comments or questions as to why I'm taking forever.
> 
> Onto the chapter!

 

 

Jeonghan stared blankly out the café window, not really seeing the passersby as they went purposely about their business.

He was exhausted and could’ve done with another hour or two of sleep but there he was, once again waiting for his never-on-time best friend.

If anyone was to blame, it was him. What did he think would happen when he sent that text to Jun the night before?

He’d come back from the hotel, stripped and sent off a quick text before falling face first into bed, where he’d stayed until the message alert on his phone eventually permeated his subconscious. He’d woken to a slew of texts, missed calls and app messages, forcing him to scroll back up to his own message to figure out what the hell Jun was going on about.

_It happened. Need to see you ASAP._

He’d sworn, cursed himself every which way ‘til Sunday and was about to reply and tell Jun that he’d get back to him at a more reasonable hour, maybe lunchtime, when his phone beeped in his hand.

_If you don’t get up this minute, I’m coming over there and dragging you out of bed._

That had pretty much settled it. He’d told Jun that he’d meet him in their usual spot, and even sprung for breakfast and coffee since he’d had Jun in such a dither all night, but despite living almost equidistant to the university as Jeonghan did, Jun was late. As usual.

As Jeonghan raised his caramel-mocha latte to his lips, the door of the café opened and a blurry figure rushed in, pausing only long enough to look around before making his way towards Jeonghan.

_Speak of the devil…_

“I know what you’re going to say,” Jun began, raising a hand to ward off Jeonghan’s scolding as he slid into the seat opposite him and grabbed the cup of coffee awaiting him. “In my defense, traffic was crazy, okay. I had no control over that.”

“You could’ve walked…” Jeonghan pointed out. “…like I did.”

Jun’s eyes narrowed. “Some of us simply don’t have that kind of stamina this early in the day.” He sipped his coffee, throwing Jeonghan a sideways glance. “Especially after the kind of night you had.”

Rolling his eyes, Jeonghan pinched a piece off his cinnamon roll and popped it into his mouth.

“Anyway…” Jun reached for his bagel, tearing at the wrapping carelessly. “Go on. _Spill_. I want to know everything.”

Jeonghan took a moment to think, wondering where to begin.

“We can just go straight to the sex,” Jun suggested helpfully. “That’s all I really care about anyway.”

Rolling his eyes again, Jeonghan gave Jun a brief rundown of the events leading up to _the sex_ , as he’d so eloquently put it. He couldn’t help smiling when talking about how good the food was and Seungcheol’s genuine interest in knowing everything he possibly could about him. Hours had passed but he was still flattered.

“See, I told you he was sprung. It’s kinda cute. You are well and truly on your way to being a kept wo…man. A kept man.”

“He hasn’t actually bought me anything,” Jeonghan grumbled. As far as he was concerned, he and Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman had nothing in common.

Jun cocked a brow. “Dinner at exclusive restaurants and hookups in five-star hotels: I beg to differ.”

Jeonghan sighed.

“Now come on,” Jun pleaded. “Give me the meat. How was it?”

“It was…” How exactly did he describe being with Seungcheol? It was a lot of things but simple was not one of them.

“Hot? Did he blow your socks off? Did he blow you, like, _at all_? Some guys aren’t into that, you know. Fuckin’ weirdos,” he muttered beneath his breath.

Jeonghan blushed. “He is…uh…quite capable with…his mouth.”

Jun grinned widely. “I knew it! I could tell just by looking at him. He’s a freak, isn’t he? Ugh, they’re the best,” he sighed.

“He’s not a freak,” Jeonghan disagreed. “He _is_ different, though.”

“Different?” Jun asked, brows furrowing in confusion.

“Yea… It was…strange.”

“Strange how? _Good_ strange? Like he tried some shit you never did before but ended up liking? Or bad strange, like he’s into some really off-the-wall stuff?”

Jeonghan shook his head. “No, nothing like that. He’s just really…intense.”

“ _Intense_?” Jun’s frown deepened as he took another sip of his coffee. “I’m gonna need you to expand on that a bit.”

Jeonghan thought back to the night before, to the intense look in Seungcheol’s eyes as he’d rocked into him; how he’d felt sort of suspended in the moment, unsure of what was really going on but feeling like it was a lot more complicated than plain fucking.

“Jesus,” Jun swore. “He really is some kind of freak, isn’t he?”

Sighing, Jeonghan shook his head. “Forget it. Just…forget I said anything.”

“Hey, I’m not trying to be difficult here,” Jun said sincerely. “But it’s unusual for you not to be able to find your words. What else am I supposed to think?” He paused for a moment. “Did you enjoy it at least?”

Jeonghan took a second to consider his response before answering. “Yeah. It wasn’t bad, just…different.”

“Everyone fucks differently,” Jun wisely informed him. “You haven’t had many partners. Maybe you just need to get used to him. Maybe next time will be different.” He paused again. “ _Is_ there going to be a next time?”

Jeonghan could feel a blush tinting his cheeks so he ducked his head slightly. “Most likely.”

Jun chuckled. “Good. Well, let me know how it goes. Or, you know, you _could_ always fuck him. If you do, maybe he’ll have a better understanding of what you like; what you want from him.”

“Thank you, Obi Wan,” Jeonghan responded wryly.

“Anytime!” Jun took another bite of his bagel before continuing. “It might interest you to know that you weren’t the only one who had an interesting evening. Guess who I met up with last night?”

Jeonghan frowned for a moment as he thought before his eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Minghao?”

“Ding, ding, ding!”

“I didn’t expect you to meet him so soon,” Jeonghan said honestly. He’d known that they’d been chatting through messenger apps and assumed that a meet up was somewhere in the future but he hadn’t expected Jun to move that quickly.

Jun shrugged. “I had the night off and he was free, not to mention bored, so we hit the town and had a night that we’ll remember for the rest of our lives.”

Jeonghan frowned deeply. “You didn’t sleep with him, did you?”

Jun gasped, eyes widening as he pressed a dramatic hand to his chest. “What do you take me for? I’m not a slut!” His righteous indignation lasted all of two seconds before he crumpled into a giggling mess. Sobering, he said, “Nah, actually we had a nice dinner then he went home.”

Jeonghan nodded, satisfied that Jun was telling the truth and proud that he’d not only behaved himself but had kept his pants on. “Did you like him? Will you see him again?”

“Did I like him? _Yes_. What’s not to like? He’s a sweet kid, emphasis on _sweet_ and _kid_. I don’t know if he swings my way but even if he did, he’s too pure for me so you can put your mind at ease where that is concerned, mommy dearest. I won’t be sullying his innocence. He reminds me of the twins, to be honest, except I like him more. I wanted to put him in my pocket, he’s so damn precious.”

The _twins_ that Jun referred to were his younger brothers. Jun was the third of five boys and had been the baby for six years, thus he had not been overly fond of the twins upon their arrival. He’d outgrown his jealousy but although he loved his brothers, they drove him crazy, often on purpose.

“As for seeing him again, I invited him home this weekend. You and I were going anyway so I figured he could come over for dinner. Kill two birds with one stone.”

Jeonghan smiled. “That was nice of you.”

“You say that like it’s rare.” When Jeonghan held his tongue, Jun scowled. “Did you tell Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome that you’ll be indisposed this weekend?”

Jeonghan blinked. “No? Why would I?”

Jun shrugged. “Maybe he had plans. Maybe he wants another round of intense, indescribable sex. I don’t know, Julia.”

Jeonghan mouthed some very rude words to his friend, his irritation growing when Jun smiled widely in return.

 _Asshole_.

Just then, his phone chimed and he snatched it up, opening the message without glancing at the display.

_Hey. It’s S.C._

“Speak of the devil,” he murmured to himself, a soft smile curving his lips.

“You’re smiling,” Jun commented, ever observant. “Is that him? Tell him I said hi.”

“No,” Jeonghan replied immediately as he sent off a quick message. He was pleasantly surprised that Seungcheol had taken his words literally: texting when almost anyone else would have taken the opportunity, Jeonghan’s permission if you will, to call. He wondered if Seungcheol would ever stop surprising him.

“You suck,” Jun whined.

“You usually like it when I do,” Jeonghan countered absently, setting his phone down.

Jun tipped his mug towards Jeonghan. “Touché.”

Jeonghan hid a smile behind his own coffee mug and watched his friend devour the rest of his breakfast in earnest.

 

A few days later, he was waiting outside the large front gates of the university when a familiar black car pulled up.

Instead of him getting in, however, Chan climbed out.

Jeonghan smiled as he watched the boy’s eyes widen, almost bulging out of their sockets, as he took in the view behind him.

“Welcome to Yonghap University,” Jeonghan greeted.

The driver’s window of the car rolled down, revealing Mingyu behind the wheel.

“Hey,” he called out.

“Hello,” Jeonghan replied. “You can pick him up around 5:00.”

Mingyu grinned. “Cool.” And with that, the window closed and the car slowly crept down the street.

Jeonghan slung an arm around a still-goggling Chan’s shoulders and started leading him through the gates.

He’d chosen the university as their field trip destination because he’d wanted Chan to have something to aspire to. He was already invested in learning and bettering himself, and whip smart to boot, and despite his current unconventional situation, there was no reason he couldn’t have a tertiary education. Perhaps not at Jeonghan’s college because it was extremely competitive – which was why he often wondered how the hell Jun had gotten in – but he had no doubt that they could find somewhere appropriate for Chan when the time came.

Jeonghan started with a quick tour of the grounds, taking Chan to some of his favourite spots like the benches beneath the sprawling oak behind the administration building. Jeonghan loved it because it was out of the way and most people were too lazy to walk that far so there was always space available for him to stretch out and think or doodle; whatever he happened to need at the time.

They sat for a few minutes, Chan’s lips slightly parted as he ogled his surroundings and the students walking by.

After a while, Jeonghan got him up and started him on the next leg of their adventure: the library.

The library was the main reason that Jeonghan had chosen his university for Chan’s trip. Chan loved books so what better place to take him than to a library, especially one with such an extensive collection in, well, pretty much everything.

Getting Chan into the library was what had postponed their trip for so long. Chan was still pretty small and on the short side but that wasn’t such an odd sight on campus, especially among the first years. The ID situation, however, was one that Jeonghan had needed some help with. The library had a strict ID rule. You couldn’t get in without one.

Jeonghan took him through the front door, smiling at the security as he did so, but instead of heading to the ID scanner, he ventured off to the side, towards the offices in the back. He stopped in front of a small office and knocked once, only entering when he’d been told to do so.

“I could get into so much trouble for this,” the bespectacled young man, Kihyun, behind the desk grumbled as they entered.

“Which is why you are being adequately compensated for your assistance,” Jeonghan reminded him.

Kihyun shot daggers at him with his eyes but said nothing as he rose and came towards them. Grabbing a keycard on a lanyard from a hook beside the door, he hung it around his neck and led the way out.

They made their way down the hall and up a back staircase, which Jeonghan had never used before, that eventually brought them to the first floor of the library. Using the master key on the lanyard, Kihyun opened the staff access-only door and, making sure that the coast was clear, let them in.

“Here,” Kihyun said roughly, thrusting something at Jeonghan.

Looking down at his open palm, Jeonghan realized that it was a student ID. He looked up at Kihyun in confusion.

“I borrowed it from my cousin,” he explained. “It’s just in case a librarian asks for his ID.”

Jeonghan took the ID, assessing the photo. “They look nothing alike. And she’s a girl.”

“You said short height with short hair,” Kihyun pointed out, glancing at Chan like the answer was obvious. “She just started here so I figured it could work.”

Jeonghan gave him a hard look for being so obtuse before glancing back down at the ID. He _supposed_ the person in the picture could be Chan…if you squinted hard enough.

He handed the ID to Chan, who accepted it happily. _Gratefully_ even. It didn’t seem to bother him that if anyone saw it, they’d think he was a girl. _Hi, I’m Lee Chan, aka, Han HyeJung._

“Make sure you bring it back before you leave,” Kihyun informed him, still looking miserable. “She’ll need it tomorrow.”

“Will do.”

Jeonghan watched him go, making sure that the door was completely shut and the hallway was clear before leading Chan down a deserted aisle.

“So this is the library,” he whispered. “You’re going to study here today.”

Chan’s head snapped up quickly, eyes widening. “I am?”

Jeonghan nodded. “Yup. We’re even going to play a little game. I have an exercise for you and to get the answers, you have to find the books they’re in.”

“Like a scavenger hunt.” Chan’s eyes shone with barely contained excitement and it ignited a warmth in Jeonghan’s chest.

He smiled. “Exactly. _And_ if you do well, you’ll get a prize.”

“What?” Chan demanded.

Jeonghan chuckled and lightly fluffed the boy’s hair. “Anything you like. Now…” He grabbed Chan’s shoulders and steered him towards a desk in a quiet corner. He hadn’t seen anyone along the way, which was partly why he’d chosen that floor. The upper floors tended to be more lively, with freshmen hanging out instead of actually studying, which led to frequent librarian patrols. The first floor was mostly used by the postgrads who usually never noticed anything beyond the book or books in front of them so he figured it was the safest place for Chan. Also, no librarian patrols.

He got Chan set up, explained what he wanted him to do and watched him go off in search of the first text, anxiously gripping his borrowed ID.

Jeonghan settled back into his seat, crossed his arms over his chest and closed his eyes. He probably should be working on his thesis but it was his day off and he’d decided to take a day off from _everything_. A Mental Health day, if you will. Although, apparently that didn’t apply to Chan. If it had, he’d be home sprawled across his bed, dead to the world.

Chan soon returned, grinning widely as he proudly produced the book Jeonghan had sent him for. Jeonghan showed him how to use it to find the answer for the first question in his exercise and, confident that Chan could do the rest on his own, sent him off in search of the next text.

As predicted, Chan successfully retrieved and answered every single question; even faster than Jeonghan had expected. When he was done, Chan asked if he could read for a bit, fascinated by the huge tomes surrounding him, the likes of which he’d obviously never set eyes on before. Jeonghan was more than happy to doze while Chan drowned himself in a beginner’s guide to String Theory. What the fuck was that even?

When he realized that he was starting to shift from a simple doze into full on sleep mode, Jeonghan decided it was time to get up and moving again.

Chan was clearly sad to say goodbye to the library so soon if the expression on his face was any indication – though they’d been there for an hour and a half by then – but he didn’t complain. Instead, he thanked Jeonghan for arranging it all for him. The blatant hero-worship on Chan’s face in that moment was not something that Jeonghan was accustomed to, nor ever would be he figured.

They made their way down the elevator to the ground floor, passing the security – who Jeonghan once again smiled at as the man watched them sharply – before heading towards Kihyun’s office.

Kihyun breathed a visible sigh of relief when they walked in, snatching back the ID out of Chan’s hand as if he were afraid that they would decide to keep it after all.

“Don’t forget…” he began in that permanently stressed, plaintive tone of his.

“Yes, yes,” Jeonghan interrupted. “Just let me know when.”

With that, he herded Chan back into the hallway, shutting the door on Kihyun before he could speak again.

For Chan’s “prize”, Jeonghan took him to the resident coffee shop: partly because Chan said that he was hungry but mostly because Jeonghan needed a caffeine fix – the _real_ kind.

The place was unusually empty, which Jeonghan was thankful for. On a typical day, it would be packed to the walls with lines almost reaching the door. As it was, they had their pick of tables to sit at.

“Hey Sera,” he greeted the young girl behind the counter.

“Jeonghan oppa!” she exclaimed brightly.

She’d only been working in the café for a couple of months and still wasn’t great with remembering orders but Jeonghan appreciated hard work in any form and was always patient and pleasant with her, unlike some other customers. As a result, she’d gotten into the habit of calling him _oppa_ , something no one had ever called him before. It had taken some getting used to but he hardly noticed it anymore.

“Chan, what would you like?” Jeonghan asked, perusing the glass case showing the various pastries and sweets offered. When Chan didn’t reply, Jeonghan looked over at him. “Chan?”

Chan was staring, jaw almost to the floor, at Sera. _If there was such a thing as literal heart-eyes, this would be it_ , Jeonghan thought. Sera was cute, but not eye-goggling, loss-of-words cute. Then again, Jeonghan was gay so what the hell did he know?

Suppressing a smile, he poked the boy in the arm to get his attention. “Chan.”

Chan’s gaze seemed to involuntarily swing in his direction, hot colour leaking into his cheeks. “Huh?”

“What do you want?” Jeonghan asked slowly, hoping that the words penetrated the love-haze the boy seemed to be lost in.

Chan’s blush deepened and he dropped his eyes to the pastry case, although Jeonghan didn’t think for a minute that he was actually looking at it.

Sighing softly, Jeonghan placed his own order and chose a hot chocolate for Chan, not knowing whether he drank coffee and not wanting to encourage it if he did. It was never too early to nip a caffeine dependency in the bud. He also ordered a couple of muffins to go with their drinks.

“Have a seat and I’ll bring your order over,” Sera told him, beaming at him then turning that sweet smile on an already KO’d Chan.

Jeonghan nodded and guided the dumbfounded boy to a table near the window.

Once they were seated, Chan seemed to come back to himself, though he kept sneaking peeks over his shoulder in Sera’s direction.

Jeonghan waited for Chan to say something but when he didn’t, he inquired, “She’s pretty, huh?”

Blushing furiously, Chan nodded and ducked his head.

 _He’s adorable_ , Jeonghan thought, wondering if this was Chan’s first crush.

Chan remained silent until Sera brought their orders over, blushing even deeper when she placed his drink in front of him.

Thus, Jeonghan was more than a little shocked at what came out of his mouth as soon as she was out of hearing range.

“How do you know if you’re gay?”

Jeonghan, who was in the process of swallowing a large gulp of latte, choked at Chan’s words, hot liquid dribbling out of his mouth before he could catch himself.

Chan, bless his soul, looked at him placidly, as if his question wasn’t remotely outrageous.

Cleaning himself up, his throat aching slightly, Jeonghan could only utter a throaty, “What?”

“Well…could I be gay?” Chan asked earnestly.

“You’re not gay, Chan,” Jeonghan assured him.

“How do you know?” the boy pressed.

Squirming slightly in his seat, Jeonghan began picking at the muffin in front of him, tossing a small bite into his mouth to give him a moment longer before answering.

“Shouldn’t you talk to your brother about this?” he finally asked.

Chan shook his head. “He’s always busy. And...he never knows what to say when I ask him personal stuff.”

Jeonghan could picture that, actually. Seungcheol getting all flustered and mentally stunted when talking to Chan about the birds and the bees.

Sighing softly to himself, Jeonghan tilted his head in Sera’s direction. “You think she’s pretty, right?”

“She’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen,” Chan gushed.

Jeonghan’s lips twitched at the awe in his voice. “Trust me, Chan-ah. You’re not gay.”

Rather than look relieved, Chan’s brow furrowed further. “Could I be like hyung? Could I like both?”

Jeonghan blinked. And another. “Um…have you met a boy that you liked?” _Please don’t let it be me_ , he mentally prayed.

Chan shook his head, much to Jeonghan’s relief, and said, “No, but it could happen, right?”

“Uh…yeah. Yes, it could. You could possibly, some day, meet someone who could give you those kinds of feelings. But why worry about that right now? Right now, you know that you like girls and that’s all you need to concern yourself with.”

“Hey,” Sera said, pulling a chair up and placing a small mug and plate on their table. “Mind if I take my break with you guys?”

“No,” Jeonghan said hurriedly, grateful for the interruption. “Chan would love it if you joined us.”

Sera flashed Chan a smile, sticking her hand out for him to shake. “Nice to meet you, Chan. I’m Sera.”

Chan shook her hand limply, the flush returning to his face in full force.

Jeonghan sipped his drink silently, looking from one to the other. When it became obvious that neither of the two was going to say anything, he asked Sera how school was going and it was like the floodgates opened.

When Sera paused to take a bite of a brownie, Jeonghan said, “Chan might be coming here soon. Why don’t you tell him about your experience so far? Sera is a freshman,” he explained to Chan, watching the boy’s nose give Rudolph competition when Sera turned the full force of her attention on him.

It was slow going at first, with Chan nervously sipping on his hot chocolate, sweat beading at his temples and his refusal to meet Sera’s eyes, but eventually he relaxed enough to respond to her gentle prodding, the colour in his cheeks receding from a ready-to-explode tomato to an adorable flush.

When the topic turned to hobbies, they were surprised to learn that they shared one: a love of comics. Jeonghan had never seen the appeal, despite their popularity, so he tuned out of the conversation at this point, staring idly out the window and wondering what Seungcheol was up to.

Eventually, Sera had to go back to work and, after a quick glance at his watch, Jeonghan realized that there was only fifteen minutes left until Mingyu returned for Chan.

Deciding that he’d take Chan on the scenic route back to the front gate, they gathered their things and walked to the counter to pay their tab.

As Sera handed him his receipt, she looked around surreptitiously before sliding a small, brown bag across the counter to Chan.

“Shh, don’t tell anyone,” she joked.

Smiling shyly, Chan accepted it with a soft, “Thank you.”

“Why don’t you exchange LINE contacts or something so you can continue your conversation from earlier?” Jeonghan suggested.

Chan started to shake his head, his face blotchy once more, but Sera beat his reply with an enthusiastic, “Yes! What a great idea.”

She rattled off a number, which Jeonghan saved into his own phone since Chan seemed frozen to the spot – plus he knew that Chan didn’t even have LINE – and bid Sera goodbye on both their behalfs.

He guided a still-stunned Chan out of the café, keeping his arm draped across his shoulders just to be safe.

They walked slowly across the grounds, Chan recouping along the way. They stopped at a small duck pond for a couple of minutes. Chan fed them bits of the muffin Sera had given him and Jeonghan ended up taking a photo of him with the pond in the background so that he could show Seungcheol.

When they finally got to the gate, the sleek, black BMW was already waiting.

Mingyu climbed out, waved at Jeonghan and opened the back door for Chan.

Chan stopped a few feet away, turning to Jeonghan and shuffling his feet as he stared down at the ground.

Suddenly he sprang, throwing himself at Jeonghan so quickly and with so much force that he stumbled backward and had to hold onto Chan to keep them both on their feet.

“This has been the best day ever,” Chan professed, giving one last tight squeeze before releasing him.

Jeonghan was stunned for a moment but then the warm feeling came back, settling deep in his chest, and he ruffled Chan’s hair, smiling at him crookedly. “I’m glad you had fun.”

Caught between embarrassment and his innate shyness, Chan mumbled an awkward goodbye and climbed into the backseat of the waiting car.

Mingyu turned to Jeonghan, gesturing to the car as he asked, “Can we drop you somewhere?”

Jeonghan shook his head. “Nah. I’m good.”

Mingyu got back into the car and Jeonghan watched them go, feeling strangely rewarded.

Once the car was out of sight, he stuck his hands into the pockets of his jacket and turned towards home.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> House is still a shambles. I've pretty much given up on productivity at this point so I can't say when the next update will be. But...enjoy!

It was easy, he supposed, to forget what Seungcheol did. Who and _what_ he was.

In fact, oddly enough, it wasn’t very often that Jeonghan was reminded of it.

Well, perhaps with the exception of where he worked and its general clientele and the fact that he still had no idea how to get to Seungcheol’s warehouse/loft despite having been there countless times. Or the rare occasion when he walked into the loft with Chan after a session and was greeted with a too-bright smile on Seungcheol’s face, everyone else looking suspiciously alert while Jihoon subtly shifted papers out of view on the table beside him.

Okay, there were a lot of reminders but they would more remarkable if Jeonghan hadn’t grown so used to them. He didn’t take it personally, though: the secrecy. Whatever they did, whatever they were involved in, was really none of his business. Keeping him out of it was in everyone’s best interest, particularly his own.

Besides, he _was_ merely an employee. He just happened to be involved with the boss.

Still, he didn’t see some kind of gangster crime lord when he looked at Seungcheol. He was just a guy. A very handsome guy perpetually dressed in black who had some… _interesting_ associates, but just a guy all the same.

Of course, that delusion was never going to last.

Jeonghan was at work on a Wednesday night. It was quiet, which wasn’t unusual for a Wednesday. Sometimes it was busy, with people starting their weekend revelry early; other times it was like this one, slow and uneventful. He appreciated those nights since they were a welcome reprieve from the frenetic pace of the weekends.

Perhaps having anticipated such a night, Hyesung only scheduled three staffers on the roster, himself included. It was a bit unusual but not eyebrow-raising. When Hyesung came and told them that they’d be closing up at 1:00am, he didn’t bat an eye. That too was pretty normal for such a night and Jeonghan never turned down a few extra hours’ sleep.

It was almost time to close up shop and he was chatting with a customer at the bar. The guy had been trying to get his number since the first night he’d started working there. In the beginning, he’d been cold and standoffish towards the man, who Jeonghan was positive was old enough to be his father, but he’d warmed towards him in the months since. He was actually quite nice, always cordial, never too pushy, which wasn’t always the case with the aggressive types that frequented Diamond Cove.

When the front door opened, Jeonghan looked up, already moving away from the man towards a free spot at the bar, thinking that he’d serve whoever it was a quick drink – they’d probably only have time for the one – before sending them on their way but he paused when a quartet of strange men entered. He knew all the regulars, and remembered the ones who had come in at least occasionally, but he was absolutely certain that he’d never set eyes on these men before. They were dressed in all black, much like Seungcheol always was – much like most patrons of the bar usually were, to be honest – but there was a hardness about them, a coldness that Seungcheol and his crew did not possess and it wasn’t just because these men were older.

A strange shiver of apprehension raced down his spine.

Not even glancing in his direction, the men settled at one of the many empty tables, as if they had every right to be there. As if they were expected.

He wondered if he should go over and take their orders. He didn’t particularly _want_ to but it was his job and a quick glance at his watch showed that there were still ten minutes left on his shift.

Before he could make up his mind, however, the door opened again and two more men walked in, nodding at the previous group before taking a seat at another table.

The handful of customers who’d already been there seemed to realize that something was up because they began shifting in their spots, a couple of them knocking back the remnants of their glasses before quickly exiting.

Likewise, the man Jeonghan had been talking to bid him a nervous goodnight, tossed a few bills onto the counter and hightailed it out of the bar, leaving his drink mostly untouched.

Jeonghan was still processing that _yes_ something was in fact going down when the door opened and three new black-garbed figures entered. This group he _did_ recognize.

 _Seungcheol_.

Unlike the others, Seungcheol’s eyes were trained on the bar as soon as he walked in.

For a fleeting moment, a spear of fear shot through Jeonghan and he wanted to grab Seungcheol by the arm and hustle him right back out the door he’d just come through.

Instead, he pushed the feeling away and forced a smile to his face. He already knew Seungcheol, Mingyu and Wonwoo’s drink orders so he could just take it over to them and maybe sneak in a question or two.

Before he could move, however, Seungcheol shook his head. It was a barely perceptible movement, one that Jeonghan only noticed because his eyes were locked onto him. It was then that he registered the severe expression on Seungcheol’s face. He’d never seen him look so serious. Hell, he’d never seen him look serious ever.

It was that, more than anything, that had him frozen to the spot.

_“Jeonghan.”_

Hyesung must have said his name more than once because he had raised his voice that time and there was no need for him to given how quiet the place was.

Jeonghan tore his gaze away from Seungcheol and looked over at his boss.

“You can leave now. The car’s waiting in the back to take you guys home.”

Hyesung’s tone was a lot firmer than it needed to be, an unspoken insistence behind it that was very unlike the man he had come to know.

Jeonghan looked back at the assembled group before turning to his boss again.

“Should I serve them a round before I go?” he asked, not sure it was a good idea even as the words came out of his mouth.

Hyesung shook his head. “No. I’ll take it from here.”

His instincts told him to cut tail and run but he still found himself asking, “Will you be okay? I can stay if you want.” He wouldn’t be of any use if a fight or something worse broke out but he didn’t feel comfortable leaving Hyesung there on his own, even with his security present.

Hyesung’s expression gentled and a slight smile curved his lips. “That’s very kind of you, Jeonghan, but completely unnecessary. I’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

With one last glance at Seungcheol, who was studiously _not_ looking back at him, his hands tightly clasped where they lay on the tabletop, Jeonghan walked out from behind the bar and headed to the locker room.

As he shrugged on his jacket, his phone beeped and he absently fished it out, opening the message without checking to see who it was from.

_Sorry. I’ll explain everything tomorrow. SC._

A slight frown settled between Jeonghan’s brows as he stared at the message, reading it over and over before sighing and shoving his phone back into his pocket.

As he walked out with his coworkers and climbed into the waiting car, he thought back to the odd look on Seungcheol’s face.

It was obvious that something was going down; something major by the looks of it. He knew Seungcheol well enough to understand that he hadn’t ignored him because he’d wanted to but because he’d _needed_ to.

Whatever was happening, whoever those men were and whatever they were there for, Jeonghan was better off being as far away as possible.

 

“How old were you when you went on your first date?”

Jeonghan paused what he was doing, surprised by the question, and looked across his desk at Chan.

“Um…eighteen. Why?”

The skin between Chan’s brows wrinkled as he frowned. “Isn’t that kind of old? Didn’t anyone ask you before that?”

Jeonghan laid down his pen and folded his arms on the table, resigning himself to another one of _those_ conversations, i.e. the things that Chan _should_ but apparently couldn’t talk to Seungcheol about.

“Yes, but no one that I wanted to go out with.”

“How come?”

Jeonghan shrugged. “That’s just how it works sometimes. I had a lot of friends but I was gay and no one else was. Or at least no one else was _openly_ gay and I didn’t want to get involved with someone in the closet.”

“Hmm.” Chan seemed to think on it for a moment before asking, “Is sixteen too young for dating?”

“No, I don’t think so. It would depend on the person.” A thought striking him, Jeonghan asked carefully, “Chan, are you thinking about dating? Or…do you already have a date?”

The speed with which Chan’s cheeks went from their usual paleness to tomato red should’ve been humanly impossible.

“Do you?” Jeonghan pressed.

Chan ducked his head, his eyes downcast as he plucked at the paper on the desk in front of him.

After another minute of deafening silence, he finally said, “Sera asked if I wanted to see a movie with her next week.”

“Chan!” Jeonghan rose and walked around his “teacher’s” desk and slipped into the seat beside Chan, placing an arm around his shoulder. “That’s great. Isn’t it?”

Truthfully, he was a bit surprised. He knew that they’d been talking the past few weeks since meeting, although he had no idea how often or what they talked about. Chan hadn’t willingly offered up any information, Sera hadn’t brought it up other than to say that Chan was really cool and Jeonghan simply wasn’t one to pry.

Chan nodded slowly. “There’s a movie that she wants to see and she thought I might like it too.”

Jeonghan frowned slightly, wondering if he should caution Chan about over-thinking the invite. He wouldn’t want him to get the wrong idea about Sera’s intentions. She was a bit older than him, after all.

Before he could decide whether to voice his concern or not, Chan continued.

“It’s not really a date, I guess: we’d just be going as friends, but…do you think you could come with me?” He peeked over at Jeonghan, fingers still nervously plucking away.

This surprised Jeonghan even more than the date itself, though in retrospect he’d realize that it actually made sense.

“You want me to tag along?” Chan nodded. “Don’t you want to be alone with Sera? Get to know each other better without a third wheel?”

Chan shook his head. “I feel like I’d mess up if I’m by myself. At least if you were there, you could keep things from getting too awkward. And you could bring someone,” he hurried on, getting more excited as he spoke. “I bet if you asked hyung he’d say yes. He’d do anything for you.”

Jeonghan’s cheeks burned slightly at that last bit but he ignored it.

“I don’t mind coming along, if you’re sure. And if Sera is cool with it.”

Chan smiled brightly. “She is.”

“Okay. Well, just let me know when so I can clear my schedule.”

“Deal.”

Jeonghan playfully ruffled his hair before returning to his own desk, picking up his pen once more though it took him a few minutes to get back to work.

About an hour later, they walked into the loft, having completed their studies for the day.

It was oddly quiet, with only Seungcheol, Jihoon and Mingyu milling about.

Chan raced to the kitchen, claiming that he was starving as growing boys tended to do.

Jeonghan walked over to his backpack, which he’d left on the couch, and had just managed to pull open the zipper when Seungcheol appeared at his elbow.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” he asked softly.

“Uh…sure?”

Jeonghan turned towards him but Seungcheol gripped his elbow and led him to the bedroom, closing the door behind them.

Before Jeonghan could catch his bearings, blinded by the sudden darkness of the room, Seungcheol was pressing him against the wall, his lips meeting Jeonghan’s in a bruising kiss.

 _Well, okay then_ , Jeonghan thought, stunned, though his body was quick to get on board, his lips parting for Seungcheol, his body automatically leaning into the hard press of Seongcheol’s against his.

The room was dead quiet for several minutes but for the sound of their harsh breaths, the wet smacking of their mouths and the slight rustling of clothing.

When Seungcheol finally pulled back, Jeonghan inhaled a deep, cold lungful of air, feeling like a drowning man finally rising to the surface.

“Well…” he began when he was finally able to find his voice, though it came out husky. “That was something.”

“I’ve been wanting to do that for weeks,” Seungcheol replied, sounding just as affected as Jeonghan was.

“Why haven’t you?” he asked, slightly amused by the fact that they were having this conversation in the dark.

It might seem odd but there hadn’t been much physical contact between them since their night at the hotel. They saw each other almost every day, at the bar or the loft, and Seungcheol had dropped Jeonghan off a few times without his bodyguards in tow but other than a couple of parting kisses, brief at that, they hadn’t done anything at all.

“We’ve both been busy and I didn’t want to start anything I couldn’t finish,” Seungcheol admitted.

Jeonghan felt around on the wall behind him until his fingers came in contact with the light switch, flipping it on. He wanted to look Seungcheol in the eyes when he asked his next question.

They both blinked rapidly as the sudden brightness briefly hurt their eyes but once they’d adjusted, their gazes met and held.

“And what about now?” he asked, voice unconsciously dipping to a throaty whisper.

Seungcheol blushed but he didn’t drop his eyes as he answered. “I’d toss you on the bed this very minute if I could. If we were alone.”

Satisfied with his answer, Jeonghan lightly trailed his fingers along the waistband of Seungcheol’s pants before traversing upwards.

“Your brother just asked me out on a date,” he said casually.

Seungcheol’s eyes widened, his mouth parting slightly.

“Well, to chaperone a date, actually,” Jeonghan continued, laughing on the inside at Seungcheol’s reaction. “He even said that I could bring a date of my own.”

“Did he now?”

Jeonghan nodded. “Mmhhmm.” He paused, cocking his head to the side as his eyes swept over Seungcheol before coming to rest on his face once more. “So…what do you think?”

“I think that any guy who gets to go on a date with you should consider himself lucky.”

Jeonghan nodded again. “You’re exactly right.” Dropping his hand, Jeonghan pushed off the wall, a shiver running down his spine when Seungcheol didn’t step back, bringing their bodies flush against each other. It was weird being that close to someone, feeling their every breath against his face. It was also quite arousing. “I’ll tell him to expect us then.”

Seungcheol chuckled softly. “You do that.”

They stared into each other’s eyes for a long time before Seungcheol finally moved, putting some space between them.

Clearing his throat, Jeonghan reached for the door handle. “We’d better get back before they start to think we’re…up to something.”

“Or before we get up to something?” Seungcheol suggested, a deadly sexy smirk on his lips.

“Yeah, that too.”

“Jeonghan?”

The sudden seriousness of Seungcheol’s tone caught his attention and he raised a questioning brow in response.

“I’m sorry about last night. I didn’t mean to ignore or brush you off. I just…it felt like it was for the best.”

He looked genuinely contrite, even though he hadn’t actually done anything wrong.

Jeonghan smiled softly. “It’s okay. I kind of gleaned that there was more going on than met the eye.”

“Yeah…”

“Well…” Jeonghan gave Seungcheol one last look before opening the door and walking out.

 

“What’s this movie about again?” Seungcheol whispered to Jeonghan.

Sighing, Jeonghan shot him an exasperated look. He’d asked the same question at least three times already and Jeonghan had answered him every single one of those times. He’d never noticed that Seungcheol had such a bad memory before.

They’d just arrived at the Cineplex after picking Sera up. She looked lovely, which Chan seemed to agree with since he couldn’t keep his eyes off of her; hadn’t said more than two words to her since she’d gotten into the car and his cheeks sported a permanent blush.

“It doesn’t matter,” Jeonghan replied softly, leading the way to the ticket booth. “We’re not here for us. We’re here to support Chan. We can watch something that we actually want to see some other time.”

Seungcheol’s lips curved in a smirk and he leaned in closer, his warm breath fanning the sensitive skin of Jeonghan’s neck. “Are you asking me out on a second date? Before this one has even ended? I can hardly believe my luck.”

Rolling his eyes, though light color did tinge his cheeks, Jeonghan ignored him and increased his pace.

They purchased their tickets – Seungcheol insisting on paying, of course – and were informed that their movie would be starting a half hour later than scheduled.

“Well, we’ve got time to kill,” Seungcheol commented.

“Do you think we should watch something else?” Sera offered. “I can come see this on my own some other day.”

“No!” Chan blurted sharply, and loudly, to everyone’s surprise. Catching himself, his perma-blush deepening, he cleared his throat and continued. “You really want to see this movie and so do I. We can take a look around; see what the stores have to offer. Maybe you can help me pick out a few things like we talked about.” The last sentence was directed at Sera, who immediately lit up at the prospect of shopping.

“Great idea, Chan,” she gushed.

Chan turned to Jeonghan and Seungcheol, nibbling nervously on his bottom lip. “Is that okay?”

Jeonghan smiled warmly and answered for both of them, knowing that Seungcheol wouldn’t deny his little brother anything. “It’s fine. I need to get some stuff myself so we’ll come with you.”

“Okay. Thanks.”

Sera tugged on the sleeve of Chan’s shirt and the two started off, Jeonghan and Seungcheol trailing behind them.

“She’s going to break his heart, isn’t she?” Seungcheol whispered.

“Probably,” Jeonghan sighed. Anyone with eyes could see how enamored Chan was with the girl. Jeonghan had no idea if the feeling was mutual, though. Sera was just being herself, sweet and friendly, and he didn’t know her well enough to be able to discern any signs that she might likewise be interested in Chan. He just hoped that the rejection, if it came, wouldn’t be too bad.

As Sera and Chan moved animatedly from store to store, Jeonghan and Seungcheol followed them at a more sedate pace. Jeonghan actually was in need of some new clothes, at least according to Jun – _“What kind of gay are you? Your fashion sense, if it can even be called that, is so…hetero,”_ his friend was fond of saying – so he took the opportunity to window shop.

They found themselves milling about a large department store while Chan tried on some things that Sera had selected for him so Jeonghan decided to check out a few things for himself. A couple pairs of jeans, tees, a few shirts, some tanks and shorts for home and a leather jacket that cost more than everything else combined. The jacket would be an entirely unnecessary and self-indulgent purchase. He could’ve bought everything then and there since it was available in his size and he wouldn’t really need to try on anything but the jeans but he decided against it. If Jun were there, he’d roll his eyes and sigh dramatically but that was just Jeonghan’s way. He had to justify buying things before actually buying them. He wasn’t a miser by any means but he was more comfortable spending money according to his needs than his wants, especially now that he was financially independent.

When he turned away from the jacket and started towards the changing room where Chan was, Seungcheol laid a hand on his arm. “Aren’t you buying anything?”

Jeonghan shook his head. “I’ll come back another day.”

“Why? I have the car so you wouldn’t have to worry about getting everything home.”

Jeonghan smiled. “I know. I just need to think on it a bit first.”

Seungcheol looked like he wanted to say more but if he did, he swallowed it.

Chan had resurfaced from the changing room by the time they arrived, practically glowing as he clutched an armful of clothes to his chest.

“Everything looks great,” Sera informed them, smiling prettily.

“So you’ll be taking it all, I assume?” Seungcheol asked his brother.

“If that’s okay?” Chan’s words were shy and unsure, like he didn’t know whether Seungcheol would want to spend _all that_ money on him.

Seungcheol pulled out a black credit card – Jun would be green with envy – and gestured for Chan to lead the way.

Once Chan’s purchases had been rung up and bagged – barely making a dent in Seungcheol’s account, Jeonghan was sure – they made their way back to the theatre.

They stopped at the concession stand to buy snacks, Seungcheol giving Jeonghan a look at his complicated popcorn-candy fusion order, before making their way inside.

When Chan and Sera headed towards a row of seats and Seungcheol started to follow them, Jeonghan grabbed his hand and dragged him four rows down.

“How are we supposed to chaperone if we can’t see them?” Seungcheol whispered as he dropped into his seat, balancing their tray on his lap.

“We have to give them some room,” Jeonghan replied calmly. “He’s nervous but he’ll be fine. He won’t learn to socialize on his own unless he’s actually on his own.”

Seungcheol gave him a long, considering look before saying, “You’re really good with him, you know.”

A warm feeling spread in Jeonghan’s chest and he began to smile but before he could speak, Seungcheol beat him to it.

“Are you trying to steal my brother?” This was accompanied by a gentle pinch in Jeonghan’s side.

Jeonghan chuckled softly, rolling his eyes at Seungcheol’s silliness.

The lights dimmed and they settled in, Jeonghan throwing a surreptitious glance up at the young pair – they seemed fine, sharing a bucket of popcorn and chatting quietly – before focusing on the screen.

The movie probably had some aspects worth recommending but if asked, Jeonghan honestly couldn’t say what they were. Thirty minutes in, he was suppressing huge yawns. It was probably a combination of the slow, uneventful pace of the movie and the many long days he’d been having recently. Between work, tutoring Chan and wrapping up his thesis, he was wiped, running on very little sleep.

“Hey.” Seungcheol, somewhat hesitantly, lifted his arm and draped it along the back of Jeonghan’s seat. “If you need to take a little nap, go ahead.”

Jeonghan looked over at him, interpreting Seungcheol’s words for what they really meant. _My shoulder is all yours._

He was surprised to realize that he was already closer to Seungcheol than he’d thought. All he had to do was move over a couple of inches and his head would have a temporary pillow.

_Why not?_

He’d already slept with the guy; what was a shoulder?

“I won’t sleep,” he said as he shifted closer, angling his head to rest upon Seungcheol’s shoulder. It was firm, unsurprisingly, but very warm and inviting. “I’ll just rest here for a bit.”

Liar that he was, he must have dozed because one minute he was wondering when the hell the movie was going to get to the point and the next he was blinking awake, unconsciously curling tighter towards the deliciously warm body pressed against him. A sideways glance revealed that Seungcheol’s arm had dropped from the back of his seat to curve around him, squeezing them together. The only thing separating them was the arm-rest between them, an arm-rest that Jeonghan knew for a fact could be raised if they really wanted nothing between them.

Yeah…

“Did I snore?” he asked huskily.

“No,” Seungcheol replied, his words vibrating up Jeonghan’s – numb – arm where it was pressed against his chest.

“Good.” ‘Cause that would’ve been far too embarrassing.

“Do you usually snore?” Seungcheol queried.

“Maybe…”

“Am I ever going have the chance to find out?”

Jeonghan glanced up at him. Seungcheol’s expression was so open and sincere that he couldn’t help but smile.

“Maybe.”

Turning back to the movie, Jeonghan sighed. “Did it get any better?”

“Not even by an inch.”

He sighed again. “Sera must be disappointed. Maybe we should take them for ice-cream after.”

“Sure.” Seungcheol settled his chin atop his head, which Jeonghan absolutely did not mind. “I’m sure they’ll like that.”

The movie was dreadfully long, and terrible to boot, but Jeonghan wasn’t too mad about it. There were far worse things than snuggling with Seungcheol while he fed him popcorn.

Sera was indeed disappointed in the movie but the prospect of ice-cream had her bright-eyed and pink-cheeked once more, the horrid movie a distant memory. She and Chan chattered away happily as they walked to an ice-cream shop a couple buildings down from the Cineplex.

Jeonghan and Seungcheol once again brought up the rear. Jeonghan wasn’t usually one for PDA – he had nothing against it, he simply wasn’t used to it – but he found that he didn’t mind the arm Seungcheol casually wrapped around him. He wasn’t holding him to him; it was simply resting lightly.

The ice-cream was great and it warmed Jeonghan’s heart to see Chan smiling and talking freely. He’d never seen him so animated.

His brother, on the other hand, was another story altogether. He and Seungcheol didn’t say much, at least not with words. But he caught Seungcheol watching him, his eyes practically glued to his mouth when he licked his spoon or swept ice-cream off his lips with the tip of his tongue, and he felt something – anticipation maybe – thrumming between them.

After ice-cream, they dropped Sera off at her apartment. Chan walked her to the front door and they were both adorably sweet and awkward, exchanging a hug that would’ve made Jeonghan cringe if it were anyone but them.

Upon entering the car, Chan declared that he was hungry so Seungcheol headed to McDonalds. While Chan went in to place his order, Jeonghan was surprised to hear Seungcheol talking on the phone to someone, telling them to come pick Chan up.

He cast him a questioning glance, to which Seungcheol replied, “We haven’t really had _our_ date yet. You didn’t think I’d let you go without some alone time, did you?”

Not quite knowing how to respond to that – Seungcheol could be really smooth when he wanted to be – Jeonghan didn’t say anything at all.

When Chan returned, Seungcheol filled him in on the change in plans. He didn’t seem to mind, smiling at them somewhat knowingly and digging into his bag of junk food.

It wasn’t long before a black car pulled up beside theirs in the parking lot, a horn honking lightly.

Mingyu emerged and walked over to Seungcheol’s window while Chan grabbed his things and opened the door.

Mingyu bent down and flashed Jeonghan a smile, exchanging a few words with his boss before climbing back into the car – Chan already settled in the backseat – and driving off.

It occurred to Jeonghan that the exchange was so unusual, so unreal, like something out of a movie. He could only imagine what Jun would say, which was why he would never mention it.

Jeonghan was not surprised when he recognized the route they were taking. In fact, he suppressed a small smile. One day, he would tell Seungcheol that simpler, less extravagant dates were also an option. _After_ he’d eaten his way through the restaurant’s menu, perhaps.

In the restaurant, they were shown to what he’d started to think of as _their_ table, a bottle of wine appearing without Seungcheol having to even order it. It was his favourite vintage and he _might have_ greedily downed half of his glass before the waiter had even finished pouring Seungcheol’s. Seungcheol smiled fondly but was wise enough not to say anything.

As had become his custom, he ordered something completely different from the menu and, when it came, blissfully cleaned every delicious morsel off his plate. If he was at home, he probably would have licked it. Seungcheol’s smiling eyes said that he suspected as much.

After dinner, they talked about Chan and Sera as they finished the bottle of wine. Seungcheol asked whether Jeonghan thought he should talk to Chan, as in _the_ talk, and Jeonghan, slightly mortified on Chan’s behalf, suggested waiting to see how things played out. He didn’t think things were ever going to go that far between the two and he wanted to save Chan the embarrassment of having the sex talk for as long as possible. Knowing Seungcheol, he would probably make it painfully awkward for the both of them.

Once the wine was done, Seungcheol gave Jeonghan a look that wasn’t hard to interpret so it was again with no surprise that he found himself going up in the elevator instead of down to the parking lot.

Seungcheol let them into the suite they’d used before – _their_ suite? – and Jeonghan went directly to the sofa, setting his things down before turning back to Seungcheol.

They looked at each other for a moment and he could practically hear Jun in his head telling him to make a move and take the lead _for once_ but he stayed put, holding Seungcheol’s heated gaze until he held out his hand, which Jeonghan was quick to take.

Seungcheol led them through the pretty French doors, sitting on the edge of the large bed and pulling Jeonghan down to straddle his lap.

Jeonghan waited, head tilted to the side as he watched Seungcheol think. He knew that he was thinking because he always got a particular look on his face whenever he was sorting something out.

Seungcheol idly threaded his fingers through Jeonghan’s hair, which had come loose unnoticed by Jeonghan himself. His thumbs gently grazed the side of his neck with every sweep.

“You’re really good with him,” Seungcheol finally said, repeating his words from earlier.

Surprised, and not sure what he was getting at, Jeonghan remained silent.

“Better than I am, that’s for sure,” Seungcheol continued. “He’s been with me more than a year and I’ve never seen him talk or smile as much as he did tonight.”

 _Oh_.

“Most days, I don’t know what the hell I’m doing with him. He doesn’t say much, you know. Is he happy? Does he need anything? What’s going on inside that head of his?” Seungcheol sighed, shaking his own head. “I’ve learned more about my brother since you came into our lives than I did in all the time he’s been living with me.”

Brow wrinkling, Jeonghan trailed light fingers along Seungcheol’s cheek before coming to rest on his jaw and tilting his chin upwards.

“You do the best you can. Chan understands that. You have no idea how much he looks up to you.” He smiled wryly. “And as to your first question, he _is_ happy. I don’t think he knew what happiness was until he came to find you.”

Seungcheol’s expression was sad when he said, “You shouldn’t have to tell me these things. I should know. He’s _my_ brother.”

“Well, then maybe you should ask him,” Jeonghan suggested, making sure to keep his tone light and kind lest Seungcheol think he was chastising him.

“I don’t think he likes talking to me about things. Whenever I try to engage him, he gives me short or one word answers. Maybe he just doesn’t want to talk to _me_.”

Jeonghan laughed softly. “Trust me, it’s not that. Quite the opposite, in fact.” He chewed on his bottom lip for a moment, wondering if he’d be betraying Chan’s confidence by expanding on what he’d said before deciding _fuck it_. These boys were in crisis. They needed all the help they could get. “You’re a busy guy. He’d love to talk to you about things, anything actually, but he doesn’t want to get in the way. Doesn’t want to disturb you or waste your time on trivial matters. And he _is_ naturally quiet so that certainly doesn’t help.”

Seungcheol frowned. “He wouldn’t be disturbing me. I’ll always make time for him.”

Jeonghan smiled gently, tugging at the neckline of Seungcheol’s shirt. “You should tell him that.”

Seungcheol frowned.

“Or maybe not. You’ll probably just make things awkward for the both of you. Just…spend time with him. Take him out sometime, just the two of you. Let him know that you’re there for him, whatever, whenever.”

“That’s it?”

Jeonghan nodded. “Basically. Chan’s a pretty uncomplicated kid.” He tweaked Seungcheol’s nose. “You lucked out.”

“Huh.”

Seungcheol slid his hands down Jeonghan’s sides to his hips, curving them around and under him to cup his buttocks and shift him higher up on his lap so that he was practically sitting on Seungcheol’s growing erection.

“I’ve ruined the mood, haven’t I?” he asked, leaning forward to lightly trace his lips along Jeonghan’s jawline.

“I wouldn’t say that,” Jeonghan breathed. “Delayed events, maybe, but the moment’s not completely lost.”

“Mmmm.”

Jeonghan shivered as Seungcheol grazed his teeth down the sensitive column of his neck, gasping when Seungcheol clamped his teeth over his wildly beating pulse.

As he proceeded to leave his mark with his mouth, the suction so tight that it burned, Seungcheol’s hands kneaded Jeonghan’s ass through his jeans.

Jeonghan couldn’t keep his hips still, grinding onto Seungcheol, desperately needing release. The constriction in his jeans was borderline painful.

Finally having had enough teasing, Jeonghan pulled back and slid off Seungcheol’s lap to kneel before him. Holding Seungcheol’s gaze, he slid his hands up his chest and slowly unbuttoned his shirt, tugging it out of his pants and pushing it off his shoulders to reveal Seungcheol’s bare flesh. His eyes followed his hands as they skimmed down Seungcheol’s chest, pausing to flick a nipple with his thumb.

Jeonghan darted forward playfully, surprising them both, and sucked the nipple into his mouth, tugging it with his teeth. When Seungcheol hissed above him, he hid a smile against his chest.

Sitting back, he reached for Seungcheol’s fastenings, unbuckling and then unzipping him quickly. He danced his fingers across Seungcheol’s bulge, tracing the shape of him through his underwear. Leaning forward, he pressed his face into Seungcheol’s crotch and inhaled deeply. Seungcheol’s arousal was ripe in his nose and made his own cock ache with wanting.

As he sat back again and started to reach for the waistband, Seungcheol caught him off guard as he gripped him under his armpits and pulled him up, tossing him onto the bed and levering himself over him.

Jeonghan laughed, taking it in stride. “Why are you always ruining my fun?”

“I wouldn’t if you didn’t drive me crazy the way you do,” Seungcheol grunted, nipping sharply at Jeonghan’s lower lip before climbing off of him altogether.

Jeonghan laid back, content to watch Seungcheol as he undressed first himself, then Jeonghan: something he’d realized that Seungcheol seemed to enjoy.

“Even your feet are beautiful,” Seungcheol commented after he’d removed Jeonghan’s shoes and finally won the battle to wiggle him out of his jeans. He held Jeonghan’s foot by the heel, looking at it with no small amount of wonder. When he pressed his lips to the pointy bone of his inner ankle, Jeonghan raised a brow but said nothing. If his ass wasn’t Seungcheol’s only fetish, he certainly wasn’t going to shame him for it.

He kissed his way up Jeonghan’s leg, his inner thigh, his chest, until he finally lay atop him, looking down into his eyes.

Jeonghan was the one to close the distance between them, nipping teasingly at Seungcheol’s lips while rolling his hips invitingly. Seungcheol, ever the sport, joined in, matching Jeonghan’s gyration with his own.

They didn’t rush into things, kissing languidly and just enjoying the friction of their bodies rubbing together. When Seungcheol hiked one of Jeonghan’s legs up, Jeonghan wrapped it around his waist, bringing them even closer together.

Seungcheol’s hands wandered: in Jeonghan’s hair one minute and seeking the dry puckered skin of his entrance the next. He didn’t try to breach him, merely mapped teasing circles that had Jeonghan’s stomach twisted with lust-filled knots.

When they were both breathless, lips plump and sore, Seungcheol reached over to the bedside table and withdrew a roll of condoms and a bottle of lube. The last time Seungcheol had come equipped with his own but this time it seemed that the hotel had supplied it. Had Seungcheol requested it when he’d reserved the room, Jeonghan wondered. How did that conversation even go?

He was broken out of his thoughts by Seungcheol’s fingers, now slick, going to work on him; his back arching and a soft moan flowing unbidden up his throat at the first push inside.

When Seungcheol eventually, _finally_ , slid into him, Jeonghan breathed a sigh of relief. It was odd but he hadn’t realized how much he’d really wanted this with Seungcheol. He didn’t consider himself a particularly sexual person but the tension had been building between them for so long, ever since the last time they’d been here, that it felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

And then Seungcheol started moving and all thoughts flew out the window.

Contrary to what the movies would have one believe, kissing while fucking wasn’t that easy. Still, they managed somehow. Mostly harsh breathing against each other’s mouths with the occasional grazing of teeth and tangle of tongues. Technique didn’t really matter in the moment. It was hot, Seungcheol was hitting his spot just right and he could feel his orgasm tightening in his stomach and balls.

Just as he was on the cusp, his knees squeezed tightly to Seungcheol’s sides and his nails digging into his back, Seungcheol stopped moving. Before he could ask him what the fuck he thought he was doing, Seungcheol pulled out and sat back on his heels.

Jeonghan looked up at him, confused, but Seungcheol smiled reassuringly – or looking as close to it as he could manage with his eyes glazed, skin flushed and slick with sweat and his bangs sticking to his forehead – and tapped Jeonghan on the hip, inching back further to give him room to move.

_Oh. Oh, yeah._

Finally understanding what Seungcheol wanted, Jeonghan mustered the strength to roll over and push himself up onto his hands and knees. His limbs ached a little from being clamped onto Seungcheol for so long but they were almost at the finish line. He could hold on a little longer.

Once he was in position, he heard Seungcheol shifting around behind him and then he was there, gripping his hips and sliding back into him.

_“Fuck.”_

For some reason, Jeonghan always felt like giggling whenever Seungcheol swore. It was the only thing he ever said when they had sex and the only time Jeonghan ever heard him curse. At the same time, it was also the hottest thing he’d ever heard. _Every single time._ Knowing that he unraveled Seungcheol enough to make him step outside himself like that was intoxicating.

When Seungcheol was fully embedded in him, Jeonghan braced himself, waiting for him to move, but instead Seungcheol leaned his weight against his back, forcing his chest down, though his ass was still in the air.

_Okay then…_

It would be a little harder for him to participate like that as his movements would be restricted but maybe that was what Seungcheol wanted: complete control. Jeonghan was a little surprised by the sudden show of dominance but found the idea incredibly sexy.

He was wrong, though. Seungcheol wasn’t done.

Seungcheol thrust sharply, not just with his hips but his entire body, knocking Jeonghan off his knees and flat onto his stomach, a rush of air whooshing from his lungs. In this position, Seungcheol was a warm, heavy weight blanketing his body.

Jeonghan’s first instinct was to panic.

He and Seungcheol were roughly the same height but where Jeonghan was lean and lanky, Seungcheol was firm and muscled. He had at least ten to fifteen pounds on him and those pounds were currently crushing his lungs.

“Seungcheol,” he breathed, gulping for air. Never in his life had he thought that he might suffocate during sex.

He tried to turn his head, to look over his shoulders at the other man, but with Seungcheol pressing him down and his elbows planted firmly into the mattress beside his head, he couldn’t move. Even his arms were useless, collapsed at awkward angles, because of Seungcheol’s weight pinning his shoulders.

Seungcheol nibbled at the back of his neck, rocking into him, his own range of motion constricted by their current position. He could only withdraw his hips a fraction of what he’d been able to before so he was mostly just grinding into Jeonghan.

Without his realizing it, Jeonghan’s panic gradually began to ease. Or rather, it morphed into something else.

Every movement of Seungcheol’s hips was a wicked stab to his prostate, dragging his hardness against the soft but detailed embroidery of the comforter beneath him. His lungs burned with the effort it took to draw breath but instead of fearing that he was in fact going to die, somehow he found himself more aroused. His skin was more sensitive and responsive to every nip of Seungcheol’s teeth; to the friction rubbing against his impossibly hard erection.

_“Seungcheol.”_

This time his name was a cry, a desperate plea for more.

And he got it. Somehow Seungcheol managed to get enough leverage between them to give him three hard thrusts and then he was coming, mouth frozen in a silent moan as he spilled onto the expensive fabric beneath him.

Seungcheol was close behind. Jeonghan only knew, lost in his own post-orgasmic haze, because he stilled as he came, his teeth clamping painfully onto the back of Jeonghan’s neck.

They lay in silence for a while after, the only sound in the room their harsh breathing. Jeonghan could practically feel the awkwardness descend around them and he was clueless as to why and how to prevent it.

Eventually, Seungcheol shifted, easing back. When he slid out of him, Jeonghan couldn’t hide his wince. A little soreness was customary after sex but he instinctively knew that it would be worse than usual this time.

Seungcheol tumbled onto the bed beside him, staring up at the ceiling.

Jeonghan watched him beneath the messy fall of his hair, wondering if Seungcheol realized that he was also beautiful in his own unique way.

“Are you going to leave again?” Seungcheol asked, breaking the silence. He still sounded winded but his tone was firm and a little unnerving in the quiet of the room.

He was, they both knew it, but he wasn’t in a hurry. It felt wrong to rush off after what they’d just shared and even though he couldn’t say what it was, he knew that they had shared _something_.

“I can stay until you fall asleep, if you’d like,” he offered softly.

Seungcheol didn’t respond but he did roll onto his side, facing Jeonghan. After a few moments of staring at each other, he reached over and brushed Jeonghan’s hair out of his eyes, tucking it behind his ear.

And that was how they stayed for some indeterminable amount of time: looking at each other while Seungcheol swept his hand over his hair.

Jeonghan’s lids grew heavy from the petting and he found it took too much energy to keep them open so he let them slide shut but he didn’t sleep. He might have dozed but he’d gotten into the habit of taking powernaps since he’d start university so he wasn’t worried about falling deeply asleep.

When the lack of movement on his head eventually registered, he realized that Seungcheol had finally fallen asleep himself. He opened his eyes but didn’t move, watching his lover – it still felt weird to think of him that way – as he slumbered.

Seungcheol looked young and far too vulnerable. Seeing him like this and thinking about all that he’d been through so far made Jeonghan’s heart ache for him.

He lay there, watching Seungcheol, for a while longer, until he was sure that Seungcheol wouldn’t wake up. When he was confident that he wouldn’t, he gently lifted Seungcheol’s hand from where it still rested on his back and laid it carefully on the bed as he rolled away.

He moved quickly but quietly, thankful for the spacious room so that there was no risk of bumping into anything. He grabbed his clothes and the discarded condom that Seungcheol had carelessly tossed onto the carpet and headed for the bathroom.

He took his time showering, luxuriating in the heat of the powerful shower spray, and then dressing, surprised to find that he really wasn’t in any hurry to get home. There was nothing and no one waiting for him there, after all. If it wasn’t for his damn principles…

Sighing, he perused his reflection in the mirror once he was dressed. Though he was clean now, his clothes a little wrinkled but otherwise okay, anyone with eyes could tell what he’d been up to. If his swollen lips and the flush in his cheeks didn’t give it away, the purplish bruise on his neck certainly would. And _oww_ , the bite to the back of his neck stung like hell. He’d have to remind Seungcheol to be careful next time. At least his hair would cover it.

He neatened up the bathroom, tossing the used towel into the basket and wiping down the counter, and headed back into the bedroom. Seungcheol had rolled onto his back but he was still dead to the world.

Jeonghan walked around to the empty side of the bed, _his_ side, and flipped the comforter over Seungcheol as best he could since he was actually lying on top of the other half. Jeonghan couldn’t help smiling at the picture he made afterward. He looked like a burrito. If he was a little more evil, or Jun, he’d take a picture.

Kneeling on the bed, Jeonghan leaned over and kissed Seungcheol on the forehead. When Seungcheol stirred, he froze but when he didn’t awaken, he scooted back and off the bed.

“Bye,” he whispered.

Five minutes later, he was ensconced in the backseat of a taxi, forehead pressed against the glass as he hit _Send_ on his phone.

_“It happened again.”_

 

“So, let me get this straight. You took his kid brother to a movie and somehow still ended up at a hotel for sexy time?”

Jeonghan glared at his friend but didn’t bother responding.

“And by sexy time I mean _“weird, intense”_ fucking of some sort, yes?” Jun continued, unconcerned by Jeonghan’s silence. “Weren’t you supposed to talk to him after the last time? Or, I dunno, initiate or something?”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Jeonghan said calmly.

“So you _like_ weird, intense sex then?” Jun pressed, looking entirely too interested and making Jeonghan regret ever saying a thing.

“Weird and intense doesn’t mean it’s bad, you know,” he muttered.

“Yes, I’m aware that you’re of the impression that once you come the sex was good, even if that isn’t necessarily true,” Jun said dismissively. “Unless…My, my, Hannie. Has he tapped into some hidden kink of yours?” Jun teased.

Jeonghan blushed despite himself. He wasn’t about to tell Jun that he’d gone from freaking out at his inability to breathe to being harder than he ever remembered being. He would never admit that with every laboured breath he’d taken, every raw rub of his cock on the bed sheets as Seungcheol’s unshakable weight held him down, he’d been pushed closer and closer to the edge. He’d die before he gave Jun that kind of ammunition.

“You’re keeping something from me,” Jun said suddenly, eyes once again far too wise and keen.

“Am not,” Jeonghan grumbled, turning his attention back to drying the glasses he’d just washed.

“Now you’re being evasive. You’re definitely hiding something.” Jun stepped closer, poking him in his side. “Spill.”

“Why do I bother telling you anything? This really isn’t a conversation we should be having _at work_ ,” Jeonghan argued, stressing the last two words and looking around pointedly. It was 7:45pm on a Friday night and the bar wasn’t packed yet but it would be soon enough.

“We have time,” Jun replied flippantly. “Technically, our shift hasn’t even started yet so don’t think I’m letting you off that easy. Now, why don’t you just be a good little Hannie and…”

_“Jeonghan.”_

They both turned, almost hilariously in unison, at the sound of a deep voice saying his name.

“Mingyu.” He was a little surprised, mostly because it was early and Seungcheol and his boys didn’t usually come in until midnight. Then again, it _was_ Friday: the one night that Seungcheol didn’t come in at all.

Mingyu flashed a smile, glancing over at Jun to include him, before saying, “I’m not staying. Just came by to drop something off.”

It was then that Jeonghan noticed the huge shopping bag in his hand.

Mingyu lifted it up over the counter, handing it to Jeonghan. It was fucking heavy.

“Boss sends his regards.”

With another flash of his adorable smile, he headed out, disappearing as quickly as he’d come.

Puzzled, Jeonghan glanced into the bag, his breath freezing in his throat the instant he saw the first item at the top.

“What was that all about?” Jun asked, breaking his unusual silence. “And what did your sugar daddy send you?” Boldly, he reached out and grabbed the bag from Jeonghan’s hand, reaching inside and pulling out an all too familiar leather jacket. “Wow…” he breathed. “Sugar daddy’s got great taste.”

“Can you cover for us?” Jeonghan blurted out quickly to his nearest co-worker, grabbing Jun’s hand and dragging him around the counter. “We’ll be right back.” Without waiting for a reply, he hustled them to the locker room in the back.

“Okay, what’s going on?” Jun asked.

“I can’t believe it,” Jeonghan muttered to himself. He dropped onto a chair, taking the bag back from Jun. He dug in, pulling out a couple familiar pairs of jeans and a shirt. He stopped there, knowing exactly what the remainder of the contents of the bag would be.

Apparently Seungcheol’s memory was _excellent_.

Jun, still clutching the jacket, reached over and rifled through the bag before giving Jeonghan an all-too-knowing look.

“He must really like you,” he finally declared.

Startled, Jeonghan looked up at him. “Why?”

“Because instead of buying you would you _should_ be wearing, what you _should_ want, he bought what you actually want. Bit of a waste, if you ask me. What’s the point of having a sugar daddy if it doesn’t upgrade your lifestyle? Still, I suppose it’s commendable that he respects and accepts you for who you are. Aww…Y’all are kind of adorable.” He finished with a wicked grin.

Jeonghan felt the heat creep into his cheeks, warmth blooming in his chest, and knew that Jun could see it too when his shark-like smile widened. He mentally cursed Seungcheol for being so damn perfect.

Before he could say anything, Jun steamrolled him with, “Don’t even think about sending it back. I know you and your little brain is probably all _“I could never accept blah, blah, blah”_. Don’t even. It would be rude and tacky and that, you are not.”

Jeonghan glowered wordlessly, less because Jun was an ass and more because he was still shocked by Seungcheol’s gift and not quite sure what to think or how to feel about it. He didn’t know what it meant. And as for giving it back, well…he was stuck with it for at least the night since Seungcheol had conveniently chosen the one night that he didn’t come in to the bar to have his gift delivered and Mingyu had ducked out before Jeonghan had even had a chance to take a look.

“He’s not my sugar daddy,” he finally said lamely as he stood and neatly arranged the clothes in the bag once more, all but snatching the jacket from Jun’s resisting fingers.

As he turned to place the bag in his locker, Jun confided, “I wasn’t sure about him at first and I’m still not, to be honest, but seeing the effect he has on you makes me think that he can’t be that bad. Maybe he’ll actually be good for you.”

A hard slap on the ass had Jeonghan spinning around rubbing his abused flesh, ready to pounce on his friend who was, smartly, already at the door.

“Now back to work, Julia. Some of us are still waiting on our Prince Charming.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I support all kinks and fetishes but I feel the need, because I'm an old lady and feel these kinds of responsibilities, to point out that these things should and need to be discussed prior to introducing them to the bedroom for safety's sake and because the consent of both parties is a must.


	10. Chapter 10

Jeonghan didn’t believe in perfection but he honestly had no complaints about the way his life was going.

His thesis was coming along nicely, work was good – when he started he’d never expected to like it as much as he did, or at all actually – and things with Seungcheol were progressing nicely.

They’d been spending a fair amount of time together lately, sometimes with Chan – there’d been a couple more “double-dates” with him and Sera – but usually alone. They had yet to officially go to each other’s places. Well, he spent a lot of time at Seungcheol’s loft, even if it was just to tutor Chan, but Seungcheol had yet to come to his apartment at least. He dropped him off at the usual building, two blocks from his home, without complaint or query. Jeonghan knew that it must drive him crazy but he appreciated that Seungcheol respected his wishes enough not to badger him about it.

He had yet to wear anything that Seungcheol had bought him. He’d taken the bag home, placed it on a chair in his living room and hadn’t touched it since. Seungcheol, to his credit, hadn’t said a word about it, though Jeonghan was sure it wasn’t for a lack of wanting to. Perhaps he realized that while Jeonghan’s not using the items wasn’t quite an acceptance of the gift, since he hadn’t given it back it wasn’t a rejection either.

Jeonghan believed in the laws of yin and yang, the universe needing to balance itself, so maybe he should’ve known that things were going too peacefully. Something was bound to happen.

He was at work one day, in the locker room just before he was set to start his shift, ignoring Jun as he tried to talk him into going clubbing with his other co-workers. It was inventory time again and they’d be getting off work at 1:00am, which left more than enough time for them to get spectacularly drunk and dance their asses off before the sun came up. Or, so Jun said.

“Don’t be such a party-pooper,” Jun whined. “You haven’t been out with us in ages.”

“I’ve only actually been out with you guys _twice_ ,” Jeonghan corrected, straightening the thin, black, short-sleeved tee that he’d somehow let Jun talk him into wearing. “It is not and never has been a thing that we do.”

Jun rolled his eyes and made a cutting motion with his hands. “Beside the point. I feel like I haven’t spent time with you in forever. You’re either always with your gangster boyfriend, tutoring his little brother or in the library.”

“ _Not_ my boyfriend.”

“When was the last time you had fun?” Jun went on, as if he hadn’t spoken. “Come on, Hannie. Don’t you miss me?” He batted his eyelashes at Jeonghan, looking more ridiculous than puppy-cute.

Jeonghan shook his head but didn’t reply.

“Don’t ignore me, bitch! I’ll hound you ‘til…” As Jeonghan’s phone started to ring, Jun glared at his jeans pocket as if it had offended him. “Saved by the bell.”

With a small smile, Jeonghan fished his phone out, answering without looking at the caller ID.

“Hello?”

_“Son.”_

Jeonghan’s heart skipped a beat, his stomach clenching at the sound of his mother’s voice. It hadn’t been _that_ long, months not years, but he didn’t realize how much he’d missed it.

“Mom.” At the word, Jun’s eyebrows rose and he gave him a questioning look, to which Jeonghan shrugged his shoulders. Jun gestured towards the door and Jeonghan nodded, watching his friend leave before speaking again. “How are you?”

_“I’m fine. Your father is too, which you’d know if you called once in a while.”_

“I didn’t know you wanted me to,” he said carefully. Their last conversation hadn’t been a good one and they were the ones who’d thrown out the ultimatum. He simply hadn’t backed down from it.

 _“Of course we do. You’re our son; our_ only _son. Regardless of our disagreements, we still love you.”_ Warmth blossomed in Jeonghan’s chest. He wished he could see her face just then. He missed that too. _“Are you eating well?”_

Jeonghan’s laugh hitched in his throat. “Well enough. Jun makes sure of that.”

 _“That’s good. Tell him I said hello.”_ There was a lengthy pause and Jeonghan wasn’t sure if he should say something or what he could possibly say. It shouldn’t be so hard to talk to his parents. It didn’t used to be. _“Are you still working in_ that _place?”_

 _That place_. Derision dripped from her words, making her opinion on the matter perfectly clear. Not that he didn’t already know.

The warmth in Jeonghan’s chest dissipated and a cold sensation spread up his spine, his hold on his phone tightening. “Yes. Is that why you called?”

_“I don’t see why you can’t just work with your father. He and your uncle would be more than happy to have you. And he’s retiring soon so you can…”_

“Mom, we’ve talked about this before,” he said, keeping his voice level as he dug deep for patience. “It just isn’t want I want to do with my life.”

 _“You’re twenty-two years old, Jeonghan. You don’t know what you want yet. And there’s nothing wrong with that,”_ she rushed on as if she was afraid that he might take offense, which he did. _“You don’t need to decide forever right_ now _. But you can’t possibly think that working in a…a bar is a long term possibility.”_

“It’s a perfectly respectable job, regardless of what you may think, but I don’t plan on it, which you would know if you asked me what I want to do instead of telling me what I should. I may be young but I’ve done a good enough job taking care of myself so far, even without your help and supervision.”

 _“Can you blame us for worrying?”_ He could tell that his mother was getting emotional, the pitch in her voice steadily ascending. _“After what happened with that boy…”_

“ _Don’t_ ,” Jeonghan bit out through clenched teeth. His gut was beyond roiling at this point, a tension headache brewing behind his eyeballs, all thoughts of how much he’d missed his mother long gone.

 _“You’re graduating in a few months. You can come home and we’ll discuss your future as a family_ ,” she tried to reason. _“You can take the summer to relax. And Mrs. Lim’s niece is coming home this year. Seung Yeon. You remember her, right? You used to get along well.”_

“I have to go, Mom. My shift is about to start.” Without waiting for a reply, he hung up. Before their fallout, he’d always ended their chats with _“Talk to you soon”_. This was the second time that he couldn’t, or didn’t bother to, say it because he knew that it wasn’t true. He missed his parents something fierce but if every conversation was going to go like this then he wasn’t going to subject himself to it. Until they learned to respect his decisions, or his _lifestyle_ _choices_ as his mother had referred to it the last time, he had nothing to say to them.

Feeling like a dark cloud had completely covered his personal sun, he slammed his locker shut and walked out into the main room, heading to his spot behind the bar.

Jun immediately came over, giving him a speculative look. “Everything okay?” he asked tentatively.

“Fine,” he replied shortly. “Mom says hello.”

“Oh.”

“And about later? You can count me in.”

Jun’s brows furrowed, his expression becoming concerned. “Are you sure?”

It shouldn’t have but for some reason it made Jeonghan even more irritable. “Did you change your mind about wanting me to come?”

Jun immediately raised his hands as if to ward off Jeonghan’s ire before it could touch him. “No, no. You are always welcome.”

“Good.” With that, he turned his back on his friend and got to work.

After just an hour of pouring drinks and faking pleasantries, Jeonghan was tired. He really wasn’t in the mood to be there, or be around people in general. He should just go home and pass out in bed but he knew that he wouldn’t sleep easily. He’d lie in the dark, staring at the ceiling with his mother’s words, past and present, playing over and over in his head. Drowning out her voice with alcohol and loud music was much more preferable.

Forty minutes to closing, Jeonghan was still in a bad mood. It must have been palpable because even Jun was keeping his distance.

So of course that was when Seungcheol decided to show up.

“Hey,” he greeted, sliding into a seat at the bar.

Jeonghan looked up, startled out of his thoughts at the sound of his voice. Seungcheol seemed his usual, cheery self but even looking at his handsome face couldn’t lift his spirits.

Still, he forced a smile and replied, “Hey.”

“Busy?”

Jeonghan glanced around, noting that the patrons had trickled down to a handful. “Not really. One more hour to go. Can I get you something?”

“The usual.” He turned away to prepare Seungcheol’s drink but as he placed the glass in front of him, Seungcheol lightly circled his wrist with his fingers, drawing Jeonghan’s gaze up to meet his own. “I was thinking maybe we could do something when you’re done.”

Any other day, Jeonghan would’ve had butterflies in his stomach by the mere suggestion of things to come but tonight, as tempted as he might be, he didn’t think he’d be good company and he couldn’t be who Seungcheol needed him to be.

“I wasn’t sure I’d be seeing you tonight so I, uh, already made plans. With Jun and the others.” He dropped his gaze as he spoke, picking up a random glass and wiping it quickly even though it was already dry.

“Oh. Okay.” Seungcheol paused, taking a sip of his drink. “Where are you headed?”

Jeonghan shrugged. “A club, I think. Or a bar. Somewhere with lots of alcohol, which is all I really care about.”

He’d said the last softly, more to himself than Seungcheol, but apparently he’d heard him because Seungcheol asked, tone soft and gentle, “Jeonghan, is everything okay?”

Slightly startled, Jeonghan looked up, schooling his features to give nothing away. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

Seungcheol gave him an indecipherable look but he didn’t say anything more.

He stayed until closing and waited as Jeonghan changed and grabbed his belongings.

He walked out, intending to bid a quick goodnight to Seungcheol, when Jun, who was apparently on his heels, spotted the man in question.

“Oh, Bossman.” Somewhere along the way, Jun had taken to calling Seungcheol everything but his name, even to his face. Considering that Jeonghan had never intended for them to even meet face to face – he had Minghao to thank for that – it was beyond his control to get his friend to behave. “Are you coming with us?”

“ _No_ ,” Jeonghan interjected forcefully, peddling back when he realized that he may have offended Seungcheol. “I mean, I’m sure that Seungcheol has far things to do than watch you get plastered and make a fool of yourself.” Turning to Seungcheol, he offered a small smile. “See you later?”

That unreadable expression was back on Seungcheol’s face again but he nodded.

If they’d been alone, Jeonghan might have pressed a quick kiss to his lips but PDA wasn’t his thing and he definitely wasn’t going to give Jun more reason to tease him. Instead, he stood there silently until Seungcheol realized that he wasn’t going to say anything more and left, his bodyguards – who’d been hovering at the door – slipping out behind him.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

Jeonghan turned to look at his friend, finding that he looked as serious as he sounded. “I’m fine.”

“Do you think that if you say that enough it’s going to magically become true?”

A number of retorts sprang to Jeonghan’s tongue, none of them kind or polite, so he clenched his teeth and headed towards the back exit where the taxi waited to take them to wherever the hell they were going.

 

 _Wherever the hell_ turned out to be a club about ten minutes from the bar, which meant that they were still in the “bad” part of town.

Jeonghan had never been there before but it didn’t bother him. Working at the bar had made him more open-minded and less judgmental of the area and the characters that frequented it.

Within the first five minutes, he downed three shots, thanks to Jun. It was a lot faster than he usually drank but he was trying to chase his demons away so discretion was on the back-burner.

He allowed Jun to drag him onto the dance floor and for a while, he was able to forget what plagued him, losing himself to the rhythm of the beat. Jun was a foolish, flirty dancer so he helped, getting a couple of smiles out of Jeonghan with his silly antics.

They eventually made their way back to the bar for drinks, leaving their friends on the dance floor. Jun ordered and left Jeonghan at the bar while he dashed off to the toilet. Jeonghan was still waiting ten minutes later so he turned and looked out at the sea of bodies, moving to and fro beneath the neon strobe lights. He wondered if they were all as free as they looked or if, like him, some of them were simply trying to get away from their troubles for a little while.

“Sorry, sorry,” Jun screeched, running up beside him. “The line was hell.”

“Uh huh.”

They gathered their drinks and headed back to their friends. As they danced and laughed, he realized that he was finally starting to relax. He hadn’t forgotten why he’d been upset but it was like a distant memory scratching at the back of his brain at the moment.

Eventually, his friends tapered off, partnering up with other dancers. He watched as Jun sucked on some guy’s tongue while he continued to dance on his own, perfectly content to be so. Someone came up behind him and slid a hand around his waist, grinding into his ass, and he thought, _“why not?”_. _When in Rome_ and all that.

The guy was a good dancer – he definitely knew how to move his hips – and he didn’t try to speak to Jeonghan, didn’t try to kiss him or start anything, which he appreciated, so when he felt the guy getting hard, he didn’t feel the need to immediately pull back or anything but when the guy’s hand slid from his waist to palm his crotch, he immediately stopped moving, grabbing his wrist to pull it off of him.

Turning slowly, he smiled good-naturedly at the guy, not wanting to be unnecessarily mean in case he had done something to lead him on.

“I think that’s enough for now. Thanks for the dance.”

“Oh, come on, baby,” the guy crooned. He was tall and attractive, and he looked like he knew it, but his eyes were blood-shot and he seemed a little jittery. He could’ve been on something, which wouldn’t surprise Jeonghan since he’d seen party drugs passing around. “We were having such a good time. Why stop now?” To prove his point, he grabbed Jeonghan by the waist and pulled him up against him. There was no way that Jeonghan could miss the guy’s intent, not with his bulge pushing into him.

Remaining calm, he placed a firm hand on the guy’s arm and pressed down with his entire body weight. “I’m good, thanks.”

“Oh, don’t be like that, baby. C…”

Suddenly, the guy was wrenched away, his hold slipping from Jeonghan so abruptly that Jeonghan stumbled before gaining his footing.

_“He said no.”_

Jeonghan’s eyes went wide when he realized what had happened, or rather _who_ he was looking at.

“Alright, alright. Geez,” the guy grumbled, disappearing into the crowd, some of whom Jeonghan now realized were watching him curiously.

Turning back to his “savior”, he asked, “What are you doing here?”

Ignoring his question, Seungcheol grabbed his wrist and started pulling him off the dance floor. “Let’s go.”

A small, confused flicker erupted into hot, uncontrollable anger and Jeonghan wrenched his hand out of Seungcheol’s grip, planting his feet where he stood. “Did you follow me?”

“We can talk about this outside,” Seungcheol said, reaching for him again.

“No,” Jeonghan refused, slapping his hand away. “So what, are you stalking me now? I’m not allowed to go anywhere unless it’s with you?”

Seungcheol’s jaw tightened, his eyes flashing. “You know that’s not what this is.”

“I don’t know what this is. I’m here with my friends, having fun and you, who were not invited, showed up.”

“ _Having fun_?” Seungcheol sounded and looked disgusted. “Is that what that was? A stranger pawing at you is _fun_?”

“I was handling it,” Jeonghan snapped.

“Didn’t look that way to me,” Seungcheol retorted.

“I don’t care what it looked like to you. You aren’t even supposed to be here. Who the hell do you think you are, huh? You don’t own me. You can’t tell me what to do.” Jeonghan could hear himself, he knew exactly what was coming out of his mouth, but even though he knew that he was going down a bad road and would soon say something he would regret, he couldn’t seem to stop himself.

_“Jeonghan.”_

It was Jun. He’d spoken softly, his voice a warning, as was the hand he placed on Jeonghan’s arm but it made no difference.

“I don’t know what you think this is,” he heard himself say, tone nasty, words purposely barbed. “We aren’t boyfriends. We _fuck_ , that’s it. So just go. No one wants you here, least of all me.”

“ _Jeonghan_.” The censure in Jun’s voice was unmistakable and his hold was painful as he shook Jeonghan and shifted him behind his body. “You should go,” Jeonghan heard him say. “I’ll see that he gets home safely.”

Jeonghan looked up in time to see the naked hurt on Seungcheol’s face before he turned and disappeared into the parting crowd.

“What the hell was that?” Jun demanded, turning on him.

“I…” He had no excuse for his behavior. The alcohol might have loosened his tongue but he wasn’t so drunk that he didn’t know what he was saying or that he’d been out of line. “I don’t know. Fuck…”

Jun sighed loudly and pulled him in for a hug. “I don’t know what’s going on with you today. I wish you’d just tell me what’s wrong.”

Jeonghan closed his eyes and he pressed his face into Jun’s shoulder, breathing in his friend’s familiar scent, letting it calm him from the inside out.

“Let’s just get out of here,” Jun announced.

“No!” Jeonghan pulled back quickly. “It’s still early. I don’t want to ruin the other guys’ night. Or yours. Another hour, okay?”

Jun looked skeptical but Jeonghan forced a smile to assure him that he was okay and eventually Jun relinquished his hold altogether and started moving to the music again.

They made one more trip to the bar but while Jun ordered drinks for everyone else, he got water for Jeonghan. Jeonghan didn’t mind. At this point, even alcohol couldn’t save him from himself and he’d rather go home with a clear head anyway.

He tried to get back into the groove, dancing with his friends and Jun and even a couple of strangers but his heart wasn’t in it. The night was already ruined.

Jun seemed to feel the same way because forty-five minutes into their last hour, he rounded up their friends and told them that it was time to go. He wouldn’t take no for an answer so they left as a group. Jun got them all into a taxi, instructing the driver where he needed to go. Jeonghan leaned his forehead against the window and closed his eyes.

He must have dozed because when he opened his eyes next, Jun was standing outside the open car door, shaking him awake. He climbed out robotically, following Jun inside a building and into an elevator, only realizing that they were in Jun’s apartment building when they got to his floor.

Jun let them into the apartment and closed the door, taking Jeonghan’s messenger bag and jacket out of his hands and flinging them onto the sofa with his own. Hands on Jeonghan’s shoulders, he led them to the bedroom.

“Some night, huh.”

“Yeah…” Jeonghan leaned against the wall beside the door, watching Jun as he sat on the foot of the bed and removed his shoes.

“You going to tell me what that was all about?” Jun asked, giving him a knowing look.

Jeonghan’s cheeks burned against his will. “No.”

Jun sighed as he stood. “What am I going to do with you?”

It was a rhetorical question so Jeonghan didn’t bother to answer.

Jun stopped in front of him, searching his face and eyes for what, Jeonghan didn’t know. “You sure you’re okay?”

Jeonghan simply nodded.

Jun clearly didn’t believe him but he pulled him into a hug and kissed him on the forehead. “You’re such an idiot.”

“I know,” Jeonghan whispered.

They stood like that for several minutes before Jun pulled back to search his face again. When he leaned in this time, his eyes were locked onto Jeonghan’s lips. Just before he could make contact, Jeonghan turned his head away.

“It’s like that, huh?” Jun asked softly.

Jeonghan looked back at him, something indefinable – guilt maybe – churning in his stomach. “Sorry.”

The corner of Jun’s lips quirked slightly upwards. “Can’t blame a boy for trying.” Stepping back, Jun reached for the door handle. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“You don’t have to,” Jeonghan began, reaching for him.

Jun evaded his touch, however, and stepped through the now open door. “Probably for the best. Get some sleep, Hannie.” With that, he closed the door, leaving Jeonghan alone with his frantic thoughts.

Feeling more miserable than he could remember being in recent times, Jeonghan undressed and climbed into bed.

He didn’t expect to sleep easily, if at all, but surprisingly not too long after his head hit the pillow, he was out like a light.

 

Jeonghan opened his eyes slowly, taking measure of himself before rolling onto his back.

His body felt drained but his mind wasn’t sluggish in the least. He remembered every asinine thing he’d said the night before with brilliant clarity.

Groaning, he passed a rough hand over his face, becoming dimly aware that there was something crinkling attached to it only after he’d hit himself in the face.

Opening his eyes, he raised his hand to see a note, in Jun’s recognizable scribble.

_Hope you slept well. There’s breakfast on the stove and coffee in the pot. Will cover your shift tonight. Do what you need to do._

Sighing, Jeonghan peeled the taped note off his hand and tossed it onto the bedside table.

For all his flaws and oft irritating personality, Jun was a good friend.

Jeonghan took his time getting up and getting ready. He threw his clothes from the night before into the washing machine and let it wash while he took a shower and had breakfast. Once the clothes were done, he folded them neatly and placed them in his draw in Jun’s dresser, pulling on a fresh pair of jeans and a shirt over the clean boxers he was already wearing. He made Jun’s bed, cleaned the kitchen counters and dishes and straightened the living room before grabbing his bag and jacket and heading out.

His apartment was only a few blocks away so he took his time, walking sedately.

_Do what you have to do._

He knew exactly what Jun meant and he was right but Jeonghan didn’t want to think about that yet.

At home, he stopped only long enough to swap his bag and jacket, grab his laptop and a couple of books that he needed to return to the library, before he was out the door again. While he wasn’t quite ready for company yet, he also didn’t want to be alone in his empty apartment.

It didn’t take long for him to get to the university and, much to his pleasure, his favorite corner of the library was completely deserted, which meant that he could spread out without having to worry about anyone complaining about him taking up too much space.

He settled into work and let the hours pass him by, reading through his thesis, tweaking it here and there as needed. It was all but done and the due date was steadily approaching but he wasn’t quite ready to submit it just yet. He always felt like there was more he could do, could add, to improve upon it.

Eventually, his gnawing stomach refused to be ignored any longer and the loud noises it was making put a halt to his studies. It was almost 3:00pm anyway, so he’d been at it for over four hours already.

Grudgingly, he packed up his things, shelved the books he’d used, and made his way out of the library and across the quad to the café where Sera worked. They sold paninis in addition to his usual sugary treats so he figured he’d treat himself to one. Or maybe both. Maybe dessert would sweeten his disposition.

As usual, there was a line in the café but Sera saw him when he entered and beckoned him up to the counter.

“The usual?” she asked, smiling her customary sweet smile.

Jeonghan glanced around before leaning in slightly. “Isn’t skipping the line against the rules?”

Sera rolled her eyes. “Please. We all do it for our favorite customers. So what can I get you?”

Jeonghan placed his order, deciding to take his dessert to go.

“Have a seat and I’ll put your order in back. You can pay when you collect. I’ll take my break and sit with you.” She flashed him another smile as she finished scribbling on her notepad.

Jeonghan returned her smile, nodded, and walked over to a window table for two. He spread his things around so that there’d be no doubt that the table was taken.

As he waited, he was tempted to take out his laptop and scan through his thesis but he didn’t want to get caught up again so he sat and stared out the window as people came and went around him.

Ten minutes later, he heard his name being called. Sera wasn’t at the counter but one of the other waiters was, looking straight at him.

He walked over to receive his food, paying the bill when it was presented to him.

He was waiting for his drink when he heard a name being called.

_“Lee Minhyuk?”_

Jeonghan’s heart stuttered in his chest, his eyes swinging up towards the waitress before turning to the person who had come up beside him at the counter.

Time seemed to freeze as he stared at the side of a face that he thought he would never see again for the rest of his life…until the face turned towards him.

Recognition was swift in those bespectacled brown eyes, followed quickly by stunned – or horrified – surprise.

_“Jeonghan.”_


	11. Interlude: Jeonghan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This behemoth is the reason why it's taken me this long to update. Forgive me, endure and know that it gets better from here on out.

Yoon Jeonghan was a miracle.

Or so his mother claimed, anyway.

His parents had tried for years to have a child, trying everything available to them to increase their chances of fertility, all to no avail. After the last miscarriage – there’d been three in total, he was told – his father had begged his mother to stop pushing her body to its limits and accept that perhaps they simply weren’t meant to be parents. It had been a hard thing for his mother to hear but the last failed pregnancy had really done a number on her, psychologically and emotionally as well as physically, so she’d acquiesced. It wasn’t like she really had a choice.

It had been a bit embarrassing, as people of relative affluence, to have no heir, especially when their siblings and friends had no such problems. His mother had hated being pitied and seen as inadequate or less-than. They’d considered adoption but ultimately decided that it wasn’t for them.

Five years later, his mother found herself pregnant again. She was forty-three; his father fifty.

Her doctors had advised her against carrying the pregnancy to term, given her age and medical history. His father, too, had been wary, afraid that this would be the one that killed her. If he had to choose between her and a child, he would choose her any day.

But his mother wouldn’t hear any of it. She was having her baby and that was that.

The doctors were right, unsurprisingly. It was perhaps the worst pregnancy yet and there were a couple of times where they thought that she was going to miscarry but seven and a half months in, his mother went into labor and Jeonghan was born. She almost died but despite being early and a little small, Jeonghan was astonishingly healthy.

At the age of forty-four, his mother finally had the child she’d always wanted. Even being told that she wouldn’t be able to have any more didn’t dampen her joy. She’d finally gotten her wish. Her miracle: her perfect little angel.

Jeonghan had a good life. He went to the best schools in his area; vacationed around Asia and further abroad annually, in large part due to his father’s job.  He wanted for nothing. In fact, he had more than he could ever even _think_ to want thanks to his mother’s effusive spending. Despite her doting, however, he wasn’t a spoiled brat. Material things weren’t important to him but he understood how much being able to give him the world meant to his mother. Even before he was old enough to learn exactly what his mother had gone through to have him, he’d somehow sensed the depth of her love for him; the simmering desperation behind it. It made putting up with her fussing more bearable.

As a little boy, Jeonghan was constantly told how pretty he was. His mother claimed that he got it from her, all the while preening at the compliments he received. His personality, calm and not easily ruffled to the point of seeming distant, was his father through and through, she often said.

As he grew up, the compliments kept coming. His mother thrilled in them, always boasting about how all of her friends were jealous of her beautiful boy who was prettier than all of their daughters combined. A gross exaggeration in Jeonghan’s opinion but if thinking it made his mother happy, who was he to deny her?

His father wasn’t so keen on his only son being called pretty, especially when his own brothers ribbed him about it, but when Jeonghan started playing soccer and surpassed his cousins in skill and accomplishments, his father had something to rub in their faces in turn. It amused Jeonghan to see how petty adults could be at times.

His entire life, Jeonghan’s mother had cut his hair. He’d never questioned it as it wasn’t that unusual. When he was about fourteen, she started cutting less and less. He didn’t say anything but it didn’t go unnoticed. When it started brushing his chin, he began pulling it back into a ponytail. It was too short to keep all of his hair contained so he ended up with a big swoop of hair falling across his forehead. The girls at school seemed to love it – his mother certainly did – and his popularity increased.

In Jeonghan’s mind, school was never about making friends or socializing. He went to school to learn and so long as he did, that was all that mattered. Granted, his teachers usually accused him of under-performing – and they weren’t wrong; he knew that he could do better – but since he always managed to stay in the top ten percentile of his year, there was no need to call his parents in or make a big deal about it.

He did have friends, of course, but he’d never been hugely popular and that suited him just fine. One of his closest friends was his cousin, who was the same age and in most of his classes, but he actually liked him and didn’t feel obligated to be friendly towards him solely because of their familial ties. His small group of _real_ friends was ideal so the surge in attention didn’t affect him one way or the other, though he’d be lying if he said that it wasn’t amusing. It did gain him some enemies, however. Some of the guys in his class didn’t take too kindly to his seemingly sudden “improvements” – they had never seen him as competition before – and it didn’t take long before the conjectures about his sexuality began.

His hair was long and he could pass for a girl, _of course_ he had to be gay!

Their insults flowed over Jeonghan like water and he never bothered to try to defend himself. He didn’t have to, anyway, because his new “fans” did it for him. There was nothing worse than an irate fangirl. Some of them, he learned from his cousin, even liked the idea of him being gay because it meant that _none_ of the girls could have him. The human ego was a wondrous thing.

The truth of Jeonghan’s sexuality wasn’t unknown to him; it just wasn’t anybody else’s business. He’d always known who he was, what he preferred, it just didn’t factor into his life in any way because…well, he had no options. He’d never gone through a “straight” phase and had done his best to discourage girls from being interested in him without revealing why. He could do without that awkwardness. However, there weren’t any openly gay/bi/other kids in his school and he knew that there never would be. There were closeted ones, though, and by the time he graduated high-school he’d been approached by a handful. He passed on all for the simple fact that even if he had been interested, which he wasn’t, he had no intention of living a lie. He wasn’t going to stay hidden in the shadows while his significant other pretended to be straight. He also wasn’t attracted to any of them so there was that.

His mother suspected, he was sure, but she never came right out and asked him point blank. No, she tried to be sneaky, making comments about actors and actresses whenever they watched dramas and movies and asking him what he thought about them. His replies revealed nothing about his sexuality, though, since Jeonghan could easily acknowledge someone’s aesthetic appeal. It didn’t mean that he was attracted to them. They were completely different topics in his eyes and he couldn’t claim attraction to someone he didn’t actually know.

Since his mother couldn’t bring herself to just ask him if he was gay, she eventually stopped prying. He hadn’t brought anyone home, male or female, so maybe she figured that she was better off not knowing.

His final year of high-school, his mother asked him to go blond. He’d been a little taken aback by her request but she’d seemed really excited about it so he agreed in exchange for a post-graduation summer trip with his cousin. He would’ve gotten the trip anyway, he’d heard his parents talking about gifting it to him, but he knew that it made his mother feel good to think she’d won something so pretending to “haggle” was beneficial in several areas.

By the time he found out _why_ she wanted him blond – she’d seen an idol on TV who she swore looked just like him and started wondering if he would look equally as good. He did – it was too late. His father wasn’t too happy about it but he was the only one. The girls at school became even more enamored with him, much to his displeasure, and his mother wouldn’t stop raving about how beautiful he was. Even the guys at school finally got on board, realizing that perhaps befriending him was a faster way to gain access to his fangirls than calling him names. Jeonghan clearly wasn’t interested in them so there was nothing standing in their way except their own jealousy.

Rumors began spreading that he had been recruited into an idol group but Jeonghan shut that down quick when he got early acceptance from his desired college and announced that he was moving to the city at the end of the summer.

Graduation came and went, as did his post-grad vacation, and soon enough, he found himself a freshman in college.

He’d come to the city at the end of the summer, as planned, with his parents in tow. His mother had insisted on picking his apartment since Jeonghan didn’t want to live in the dorms. He wasn’t going to be one of those poor students who wound up in a rat-infested, low water-pressure rooftop apartment, she’d said. Ultimately, he put his foot down when it became obvious that they weren’t exactly seeing eye-to-eye. His mother wasn’t overly fond of the apartment he settled on since it wasn’t as posh as the ones she preferred but he didn’t want anything extravagant. It was within walking distance from school, which was his first – and only – priority. He was going to be living alone, had no plans for a roommate or live-in-boyfriend and he didn’t have any friends yet so he didn’t need any room for hosting. He didn’t really cook so as long as he had a stove, a fridge and a microwave, he was set. His small but comfortable living room was an added bonus.

The night before his parents returned home, they went out to dinner. His mother talked nonstop, as if some invisible clock was ticking down and at midnight they were never going to see each other again.

The next morning, when he saw them off, was even worse. As he hugged her goodbye, wincing as her clutching fingers scraped the back of his neck, he knew that he would miss his mother’s theatrics. It had never bothered him, if he was honest, as it was such an integral part of who she was and after all that she’d gone through to have him, he’d always figured that it was her due. His father’s parting hug was a lot more relaxed, though his arms were just as tight as he held him close. It had been a while since they’d hugged so he cherished the moment all the more for it.

And then, they were gone. He was finally on his own.

A hectic new schedule and a complete disinterest in social activities kept Jeonghan busy. It wasn’t that people didn’t try to talk to him. By the end of the first week, he was asked out by a handful of classmates, both guys and girls, but he simply wasn’t interested. He was still catching his bearings, still getting used to city life. Plus enjoying being alone, _truly_ alone.

That is, until Jun came along.

It was the first week of his second semester. He was minding his business in class when someone dropped into the seat beside him, bumping his arm as they did so. Jeonghan paid the person no mind until…

“ _How come I’ve never seen you before?”_

 _That_ got his attention. He turned to find an attractive guy staring at him curiously.

 _“Excuse me?”_ he’d asked.

 _“_ You _. Where’ve you been all this time? I would remember if I’d seen you before.”_

Jeonghan had just silently blinked at him and somehow that encouraged the guy to keep talking.

 _“You’re awfully pretty.”_ Pause. _“What are you doing after class? We should get something to eat.”_

_“No thanks.”_

The guy scoffed. _“What? Am I not your type?”_

Jeonghan merely blinked at him again. There was no point in saying anything.

Seemingly insulted, the guy’s eyes grew round and his lips tightened. _“Bitch, I am_ everyone’s _type.”_

At Jeonghan’s continued silence, the guy rose and stomped off in a huff.

Jeonghan promptly forgot about him and went about his day.

The following afternoon, he had a tutorial for that same class and lo and behold the guy sat beside him once again. Before Jeonghan could even _think_ to say something – or move – he shushed him with a raised finger.

“I’ve decided that there must be something wrong with you and you are therefore in need of my forgiveness and understanding. I’ve never been rejected, you see, so the fault clearly lies with you. However, I’ve come to realize that that doesn’t mean that we can’t be friends. If anything, that may be even more ideal. Your face is going to attract a lot of attention. There’s absolutely no reason that I shouldn’t benefit from that. Not that I need the help, mind you, but it never hurts to have a little extra ammunition.”

Throughout his speech Jeonghan just looked at him, incredulous. What could he possibly say?

Jeonghan had gotten rid of the blond hair as soon as he got back from vacation, not wanting to stand out in college. Now that he lived in the city, the last thing he wanted was to be told that he looked like X-member from Y-group or asked if he was an idol every five minutes, not that being brunette did anything to dissuade those questions. Some people just couldn’t help themselves.

He _should_ have told Jun to bugger off and found another spot. Somehow he ended up with a best friend for life.

He would never admit it, because Jun was a dick and he didn’t deserve that kind of leverage, but Jeonghan fell in love with him that day. Just a smidge; platonically. Jun had a set of brass balls that his own pretty face belied. Jeonghan was in awe. And Jun, during a drunken stupor about a year later, would confess that he was actually very nervous when he first approached Jeonghan. All of his bluster was simply to hide his anxiety. Being the more mature of the two, Jeonghan didn’t make fun of him for it. In fact, he found it rather cute.

They were joined at the hip from then onward, Jun dragging him wherever he went and invading Jeonghan’s personal space as much as possible. It could be irritating at times, being forced to socialize, but it wasn’t like he couldn’t say no. Jun had an eclectic mix of friends and Jeonghan found that he didn’t mind it after a while. They were interesting, if nothing else, and he’d always found observing people in their natural element to be a fascinating hobby.

As much as he’d always enjoyed his solitude, Jeonghan never regretted the changes Jun brought to his life.

 

_“He’s looking at you again.”_

Even without looking up from his notebook, Jeonghan had known who he was talking about. They’d had this conversation every time they stepped foot into this class.

It was their third semester of their first year, summer vacation was on the horizon, and all Jeonghan wanted to do was get through it with decent grades. He had no desire for distractions of _any_ kind.

 _“I’m serious! He just looked right at you.”_ Pause. _“Are you ignoring me again?”_

Stifling a sigh, Jeonghan looked up at his friend. He didn’t even bother to glance at the fellow in question.

“He looked at you, I swear. It lasted a good five seconds this time.” Jun’s eyes were sincere but they always were, weren’t they? It’s what made him such a great liar.

Jeonghan waited a beat. “And?”

Jun’s eyes had widened incredulously. “And? And?? He’s the fucking TA, and he’s _hot_. Why aren’t you all over that?”

“As you just pointed out, he’s the TA. Doesn’t that suffice?”

Jun rolled his eyes. “He’s the _TA_ , not the lecturer. I mean sure, he could maybe give you a slightly better grade than you would get on your own but it’s not like you’re failing to begin with.”

This time Jeonghan sighed out loud. “Jun…”

“Look! He did it again!”

Brows furrowed, Jeonghan turned his head slightly until the TA, who was sitting at the lecturer’s desk controlling the PowerPoint presentation that the lecturer, Professor Cho, was currently discussing, came into his peripheral vision.

_Lee Minhyuk._

Rumor had it that he was Professor Cho’s favorite student during his undergrad years and now that he was in the graduate program, she’d asked him to be her TA. He had also scored a 100% on the final exam for her hardest course, or so the story went. If that wasn’t impressive enough, he was handsome and, again if rumors were to be believed, came from a ridiculously wealthy family. He was the perfect trifecta.

Jeonghan wanted absolutely nothing to do with him.

So of course that was when he looked up from whatever he was typing and steered his gaze in Jeonghan’s direction. If Jeonghan had been looking at him squarely, their gazes would’ve met head on.

_Shit._

It wasn’t that he’d thought Jun was lying. He’d actually caught Minhyuk looking at him before; he’d merely kept it to himself. There was no need to encourage Jun when he didn’t plan on doing anything about it.

“See! Did you see it?” his friend demanded.

Yes.

“Doesn’t mean anything,” he said instead. “He could just be relaxing his eyes. You know that staring at a screen too long causes eye-strain and he’s already wearing glasses.”

The look Jun gave him said that he knew that Jeonghan knew that his response was utter bullshit. But..,

“Fine. If you won’t ask him out then I will.”

The corner of his lips twitched. “Happy hunting.”

Of course that wasn’t the end of it. Jun didn’t ask Minhyuk out but he did continue to badger Jeonghan about it until he threatened to un-friend him.

Jeonghan did eventually ask Minhyuk out, though.

It was a few weeks later and regardless of the excuses he’d given to Jun, he’d finally admitted to himself that he wasn’t opposed to the possibility of getting to know Minhyuk better. He was intelligent, which was a turn-on, and he was definitely easy on the eyes. His friendly nature and eagerness to help Jeonghan’s classmates made him even more attractive. And the fact that he continued to sneak peeks at Jeonghan simply couldn’t be ignored any longer.

He waited until Jun skipped class one day to make his move.

The class was fairly large, over one hundred and fifty students, and Jeonghan usually waited until most had trickled out before getting up from his seat. That day was no different but he still moved extra slowly to ensure that the class was empty by the time he reached Minhyuk. The last thing he wanted was witnesses.

As he walked down the stairs in the lecture hall, Jeonghan took deep breaths. It was more than a little nerve-wracking, asking someone out. He’d never done it before; had never _wanted_ to. He wasn’t afraid of rejection, if Minhyuk said no he’d respect it, but the idea itself, the act of it, had his stomach churning. What did he _say_? _How_ did he say it? If Jun was there, he’d have told him exactly what to do. Maybe he should have waited…

It was too late now. The hall was empty, even Professor Cho had left, but Minhyuk was still there packing up. He was always the last to leave, which Jeonghan knew and had been the reason why he’d chosen to do it after class.

As he approached, Minhyuk looked up. Jeonghan would’ve had to pass him on the way to the door anyway but he wasn’t looking at the door: he was looking directly at Minhyuk. Maybe he felt his gaze, Jeonghan couldn’t say for sure, but his eyes had widened and his cheeks were lightly flushed. Promising signs, he hoped.

“Hey,” he said, striving for casual.

“H-…” Minhyuk cleared his throat and tried again. “Hi.”

Jeonghan was a naturally straight forward person. He didn’t flirt, didn’t play games. He honestly didn’t know how to. But he was afraid that saying _“So I’ve seen you watching me and since you haven’t done anything about it, I decided that I should”_ might be a little too blunt so he was unsure of how to say what he needed to without shocking the guy.

“I was wondering if you’d like to get a cup of coffee sometime.” Ahh, inspired. Simple; inoffensive, yet unmistakable in intent.

Minhyuk blinked owlishly behind his glasses. So much for not shocking the guy.

“I’m sorry?” His voice hinted at confusion, like he wasn’t quite sure that he’d heard what he’d heard.

“You can say no, it’s fine. I just thought I’d ask.” Jeonghan really couldn’t help bluntness. It was just his nature.

Minhyuk’s face was fiery red at that point. He seemed dumbstruck for a moment but eventually cleared his throat and straightened his shoulders.

“I’m sorry. I don’t think that’s a good idea. It’s unethical to date students of the class that I’m assisting with.”

Jeonghan wasn’t all that experienced but he could spot a lie when he heard one. He wasn’t about to ask Minhyuk why he was lying or what exactly the lie entailed, though.

“Okay. Have a good evening.”

And with that, he made his way out.

Jeonghan might not have been offended but when Jun found out, he was _pissed_. Firstly, because Jeonghan had gone behind his back – as he saw it – after claiming to have no interest in Minhyuk and approached him when Jun was absent. And secondly, because Minhyuk had had the _audacity_ to reject him.

“He’s a lying liar who lies!” Jun declared huffily. “He doesn’t deserve you.”

Jeonghan didn’t think it was _that_ serious but if it got Jun to drop the subject, he wasn’t going to object.

Jun did let it go, grudgingly, but it didn’t stop him from making disparaging remarks about Minhyuk for the rest of the semester. Jeonghan was secretly amused about Jun being more upset than he was. For his part, he focused on the class and pushed what had happened to the back of his mind. And if he noticed Minhyuk’s glances, more frequent than before, he didn’t allow himself to dwell on them. Minhyuk had made his choice.

A couple months later, he was two weeks away from summer vacation.

It was their last class with Professor Cho as exams began the very next day and Jun had skipped to work on a final project that he’d put off until the very last minute, as always.

Professor Cho, who Jeonghan really liked and considered his favorite lecturer, wrapped up the class by giving them a few hints about what was coming in the exam and wishing them luck.

He was on his way out, at the tail end of the line of students as usual, when someone called his name.

Glancing over, he was surprised to see Minhyuk looking at him. As Jeonghan approached where he stood off to the side, he was further surprised to find that Minhyuk seemed very nervous. He was wringing his hands and shifting on his feet. Other than the day he’d asked him out, Jeonghan had never seen him anything but calm and composed.

“Hey,” Minhyuk greeted.

“Hello.”

There was a moment of awkward silence, in which Minhyuk started rubbing the back of his neck nervously, his eyes flitting everywhere but at Jeonghan.

Finally, having seemingly come to a decision, he said, “I was thinking… I was wondering, if it wasn’t too late, if I could maybe take you up on that coffee.”

Huh.

“I thought you didn’t date students in your classes?” Jeonghan asked, no malice in his voice just curiosity at the sudden turn of events.

Minhyuk’s laugh was self-deprecating, his cheeks flaming. “I wasn’t just making excuses. I do try to keep my professional and personal lives separate. But…as of today, class has officially ended.”

“True,” Jeonghan acknowledged, suppressing the smile that pulled at his lips. “But don’t you help Professor Cho correct the final exam papers?”

Minhyuk laughed again. “Touché.” He took a moment to contemplate, his eyes locked with Jeonghan’s this time. “If I promise to let the professor correct your paper, will you go out with me?”

“For coffee?”

“For starters.”

Was this flirting? Jeonghan wasn’t sure, but he did have a fluttery feeling in his stomach. It was a little scary but also quite exciting.

“Okay.”

They exchanged numbers and Minhyuk promised to call the following day after Jeonghan’s exam however before he even got to his apartment, he had a text waiting saying:

_Thanks for giving me another chance._

Jeonghan couldn’t help but smile. He appreciated that Minhyuk took the time to write out the entire text. Sometimes trying to decipher the internet-speak in Jun’s messages gave him a headache.

They ended up getting dinner after Jeonghan’s exam and even catching a late movie. Minhyuk drove him home – he had a very nice but humble car – and when he kissed him, he went for his cheek, not his lips.

Jeonghan was undeniably smitten after that.

Jun was torn between patting himself on the back for being right and wanting to lambaste Minhyuk for wasting what he considered precious time.

“You could’ve lost your virginity months ago!” he’d cried, full of indignation.

“Jesus Christ.”

Once exams were over, they spent every free moment together. Jeonghan stayed in the city for the first month of his vacation just to be with Minhyuk, despite his mother begging for him to come home. He did eventually heed her pleas and returned for a couple of weeks before going back to the city with two weeks to spare before school started again.

One night, Minhyuk took him to dinner and Jeonghan noticed that he seemed agitated. He hadn’t seen him like that since the day Minhyuk had asked him out. He couldn’t figure out why since, as far as he knew, their relationship was coming along nicely. They never ran out of things to talk about; had never fought. They hadn’t had sex yet or done anything remotely close to it, much to Jun’s displeasure, but the attraction was there and Jeonghan could feel Minhyuk’s desire for him in the way his fingers gripped him tightly when they kissed, how he always hesitated a moment before he let go.

“There’s something that I have to tell you.”

He sounded afraid, which made Jeonghan anxious. What could possibly have scared him?

Jeonghan didn’t freak himself out by wondering what the problem was, though, and it was a good thing. He would never have guessed it.

Minhyuk was bi-polar.

He apologized for not telling him sooner, saying that he wanted to wait until he knew for sure that it was even necessary. Not a lot of people on campus knew about his condition and he wanted to keep it that way. Not that he didn’t think he could trust Jeonghan, of course. He’d simply wanted to wait until he was certain that there was really something between them.

Minhyuk was very open about his illness, going into detail without Jeonghan needing to ask questions. He was diagnosed when he was sixteen, after a very unfortunate incident at his private school. His parents, rather than being understanding, had instead been embarrassed and pulled him from the school. They’d sent him away to a clinic until he got “better”.

“They act like it’s something that’s going to eventually go away. Like I somehow have control over it.”

It broke Jeonghan’s heart to hear how alone and frightened Minhyuk had been during such a difficult time, his parents not even visiting him once. They hadn’t picked him up themselves when his treatment was finished either. Jeonghan hadn’t met them yet but he already disliked them.

Minhyuk assured Jeonghan that he was on a strict medication regimen and had never exhibited any violent tendencies. It had taken a few years to find the right mix of meds but the cocktail he was currently on allowed him to live a functional, independent life and though he occasionally had mood swings, it was never anything that he couldn’t handle.

It never occurred to Jeonghan to be concerned for his own safety – Minhyuk was the gentlest, kindest person he’d ever met – but he was touched all the same that Minhyuk had.

“I told my parents about you, when you were gone,” Minhyuk admitted shyly. “Mother wasn’t too happy. She thinks I’m doing this, being gay, to get back at her for one reason or another. I keep hoping that she’ll just accept it, _me_ , one day. I’ve tried being with girls before. When I got out of the clinic, I promised myself that I’d be the best son I could be after all the trouble I’d caused, after I’d embarrassed them, but…” He stopped; shook his head. “When I finally graduated high school, she tried to find me a wife. Luckily, I got accepted here and father decided that it would be good for me to learn to be independent. I can still feel mother’s leash around my neck...” He paused again, this time laughing. It wasn’t a happy sound, though, and it tore at Jeonghan’s heart. “…but it’s bearable with the distance between us.”

Jeonghan hadn’t said a word since Minhyuk started speaking, not really knowing what to say. He had way too many thoughts and emotions rolling around inside of him. It was hard to settle on just one.

Minhyuk’s fingers plucked nervously at his napkin as he said, “I hope that I haven’t scared you off. I just wanted to be honest with you from here on out. I really like you and you deserve to know what, who, you’re getting involved with. If it’s too much…”

Without thinking, Jeonghan reached across the table and settled his hand on Minhyuk’s.

“It isn’t. I’m glad you told me. I want to be there for you in any way that I can.”

Truthfully, Jeonghan didn’t know what that would entail, _being there_ for someone, but he meant it. Whatever Minhyuk needed, he’d do his best to provide but he also trusted Minhyuk to take care of himself. He’d been doing a pretty decent job so far as Jeonghan could tell.

Things seemed to flow even more easily between them after that, now that Minhyuk had shed the weight of his secret. He was still very contained and proper to a fault but Jeonghan didn’t mind. He realized that Minhyuk’s OCD, which he’d picked up on during their first date, was one of his coping mechanisms, something he later admitted that he’d developed as a result of the strategies they’d taught him at the clinic. Controlling his environment was one of the keys to staying functional and maintaining his independence. He was rigidly organized and detail oriented and often apologetic about it but again, Jeonghan didn’t mind. He was pretty organized himself and wasn’t a fan of clutter, unlike his best friend.

When he and Minhyuk finally decided to have sex, or rather when Minhyuk confessed that he wanted to, they handled it the way they did everything else: with lots of planning, of course.

Minhyuk wasn’t a virgin, he’d been with both men and women, but Jeonghan was and it was very important to him that Jeonghan know exactly what was going to happen. They talked it through, Minhyuk tomato-red throughout the entire conversation, and then went to the pharmacy together to buy what they needed. When the time came, Jeonghan was the most nervous he’d ever been in his life. Despite his best efforts, there was nothing that Minhyuk could do to make it completely painless and truthfully, it wasn’t all that enjoyable either. There was simply too much forethought involved. It was more like a recital than making love.

“Where’s the spontaneity?” Jun cried later on when he told him about it. “No wonder it sucked. I’m sorry, your man is hot, but I don’t know how you can stand dating a robot.”

It was one of the few times throughout their entire friendship that Jeonghan had gotten truly angry with Jun. It wasn’t entirely his fault since he didn’t know about Minhyuk’s illness but the way he was always so judgmental really hit a nerve this time. It was all Jeonghan could do to hold back from saying something hurtful in return.

Minhyuk was also apologetic, taking the blame upon himself since he was older and more experienced, and they didn’t do it again for a while. When Jeonghan felt like enough time had passed, he broached the topic again but this time he took the lead, making sure that Minhyuk was relaxed and not caught up in his head with the idea of perfection.

The second time was a vast improvement over the first and eventually, they found their groove. Maybe it wasn’t nasty and raw the way Jun claimed sex should be but it worked for them and that was all that mattered.

 

During the next year and a half, their relationship continued to flourish.

They spent as much time together as possible, sometimes moving into each other’s places for days at a time. More often than not they stayed at Minhyuk’s since he lived in the graduate dorm. The rooms were actually two-bedroom suites so they were much bigger than what the undergrad dorms had to offer and Minhyuk’s parents had arranged it so that he didn’t have to share. So long as Minhyuk wasn’t buried in his books or correcting piles upon piles of test papers, Jeonghan would stay over since it allowed him to sleep in later than when he had to walk or travel to school.

Over the course of those eighteen months, Jeonghan met Minhyuk’s parents a handful of times. Whenever they were in the area, his mother would invite them to lunch. Or she’d demand Minhyuk’s presence, rather, and he would drag Jeonghan along.

The first time he took Jeonghan with him, Minhyuk’s intention had been to show his mother how serious he was about him. He’d never introduced one of his male partners to his parents before so it was a fairly big deal.

As predicted, Jeonghan hated his mother on sight. She was beautiful, looked too much like her son for his liking, and oozed a superiority and importance that burned his gut. She tried, through subtle rudeness, to ridicule and embarrass him, questioning him about his parents and what they did for a living, but Jeonghan remained unphased. Only the opinions of people who he respected mattered to him. Knowing how horrible Mrs. Lee was to her own son had put her on his shit list long before he’d ever met her. Her disliking him was actually a compliment.

Minhyuk was humiliated, though, and apologized profusely when they returned to his place afterwards but Jeonghan assured him that there was nothing to apologize for.

Every time after that was a repeat of the same. On the rare occasion that Minhyuk’s father happened to be there, he was always attached to his phone, taking business call after business call. Eventually, Jeonghan realized that Mrs. Lee didn’t hate him as much as she seemed to. Or maybe she did. Her lips were always curled in a sneer when she looked at or addressed him but gradually he noticed a kind of grudging respect in her eyes. He wouldn’t say that he’d won her over but clearly not backing down from her jabs and accompanying Minhyuk whenever she summoned him proved Jeonghan’s mettle.

They would never have her acceptance or approval, Jeonghan didn’t kid himself otherwise, but so long as she wasn’t actively trying to break them up or make Minhyuk miserable, he could live with it.

 

In hindsight, Jeonghan could see that the signs of what was to come were obvious if only he’d thought to take a look.

In the moment, however, he was happy. _They_ were happy. In a few months, Minhyuk would be done with his grad degree, Jeonghan with his undergrad, and they were going on vacation: their first together. They hadn’t informed their parents yet, and Jeonghan’s still hadn’t met Minhyuk despite the fact that they knew all about him, but they’d made all the necessary plans short of booking plane tickets and accommodation. They were in the process of squirreling away money since neither of them was financially independent and their parents could, and in Minhyuk’s case _would_ likely, cut them off if they disapproved of the trip. It had been Minhyuk’s idea to stash the money in Jeonghan’s bank account, to ensure that it could never be traced back to him.

But just having a plan, building a future together, was enough to keep them going.

Minhyuk, especially, was uncharacteristically buoyant. In truth, Jeonghan had never seen him like that. It seemed a gradual process but over the course of just a few weeks he became more carefree, relaxed, _spontaneous_ : the one thing Jun swore Minhyuk would never know the meaning of. Even the sex was different, more passionate and carnal and frequent. It was a stark difference from the Minhyuk that Jeonghan had come to know and love but he was happy to see him free of the limitations he’d set for himself. It seemed like he was finally embracing life and not allowing himself to be ruled by his illness.

One morning, after a night of frenzied-to-the-point-of-erratic lovemaking, Jeonghan woke up in bed in Minhyuk’s bedroom to the sound of something shattering. It made him jump, his heart racing double-time in his chest.

He wrapped the blanket tightly around himself and went in search of his boyfriend.

He found Minhyuk in the kitchen picking up shards of broken glass with his bare hands. Even though Jeonghan was sure that he’d heard him enter, Minhyuk didn’t look up, his face hidden by the fall of his unruly black hair.

“What happened?” he asked softly.

It took Minhyuk a couple of beats to answer. “Nothing. Sorry if I woke you.”

“It’s fine. I would’ve had to wake up soon anyway.” A frown gathering between his brows, Jeonghan stepped closer. “Are you okay?”

Minhyuk nodded, his hair swooshing back and forth, still hiding his face, as he continued to pick up pieces of glass, one at a time. “You should go get ready. You don’t want to be late.”

Something wasn’t right. Minhyuk had been so upbeat and energetic just the night before, now he sounded…detached. Distant. It was disconcerting and Jeonghan hadn’t a clue what to say or do.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

Minhyuk nodded again. “I’ll make you breakfast.”

Jeonghan wanted to ask again, beg him to please look at him, but instead he bit his tongue and walked back the way he’d come. He grabbed fresh clothes from the drawer Minhyuk let him use to keep his things and headed for the bathroom.

A cold shower helped to calm his thoughts. He was on the brink of over-thinking and that wouldn’t be at all helpful. Whatever Minhyuk needed, he had to be prepared to offer even if it was space or time alone. Maybe they’d been spending too much time together lately. They had been kind of inseparable, especially after they decided to go away together. They spent almost all of their free time planning, much to Jun’s chagrin. That lack of alone time could be stifling. Jeonghan would know since before Minhyuk, he’d quite loved being alone more often than not. He’d made adjustments in his life according to his relationship’s demands but between them and school, maybe Minhyuk was starting to feel overwhelmed.

If that was the case, then Jeonghan would be more than happy to give him some time apart. Whatever he needed.

Dressed and determined to do whatever needed to be done, Jeonghan approached Minhyuk, confident in his ability to fix whatever _this_ was. At least until he saw Minhyuk’s face. Then his confidence immediately went right out the window.

He didn’t look any different, if one didn’t count the flatness in his eyes. He looked up at Jeonghan as he walked towards him but he might as well have been looking through him.

“You look nice,” he said.

Jeonghan was pretty sure that he looked the same as he always did but he thanked him nonetheless.

“Sorry about breakfast. I’m out of pretty much everything. I guess I need to make a run to the supermarket later.”

Now Jeonghan knew that something was definitely wrong. They’d gone to the grocery literally two days prior. Both the fridge and the cupboards were stocked with enough food to feed them both for two or three weeks.

Minhyuk had never lied to him before. He didn’t know why he was lying now. Although, it didn’t sound like a lie. It sounded...well, empty. His tone was as flat as his eyes.

Genuinely concerned, Jeonghan took a small step forward. “Min…”

“You’d better hurry if you want to get something to eat before class starts. You know you don’t like to eat in a rush.”

Jeonghan went still, feeling completely out of depth with the situation. This person, this Minhyuk, was a complete 180 degrees from the one he was used to and he had no idea what to do. There was a possibility, of course, that he knew what was behind it but he didn’t want to assume that that was the answer. He didn’t want to be _that_ person.

“Go on,” Minhyuk said. He smiled but it was contained to his lips. His eyes remained the same. “I’ll see you later.”

Jeonghan felt disembodied as he moved but he walked to the armchair where he’d dropped his bag the night before, picked it up and made his way to the door. He wanted to say something, _anything_ , but words simply wouldn’t come to him. With one last glance in Minhyuk’s direction, he let himself out.

By the time he got to his first class, he’d come to a decision. He had two classes that morning, the last with Professor Cho so Minhyuk would be there, but after lunch he was free so he’d immediately return to Minhyuk’s place and wait for him. Truthfully, Jeonghan would have taken the day off if not for the fact that it was too close to the end to start skipping classes and he had a group meeting for one of his class’ final projects. He wouldn’t be the member that didn’t pull his weight.

He got through the first class and the group meeting just fine but he was anxious as he took his seat in Professor Cho’s class. He hoped that Minhyuk was back to his old self because the last thing he wanted was to have Jun ask him if his _robot_ had malfunctioned.

Jeonghan was early but as the clock ticked down and Minhyuk didn’t appear, he became worried. When Professor Cho walked in, surprise evident on her face when she looked to the lecturer’s desk and found it empty, the screen behind still off, Jeonghan worried even more. Fear was a living, breathing thing in his gut.

He should never have left Minhyuk alone.

It was all he could do to sit still and pay attention as Professor Cho carried the class on her own for the first time ever. Every time his mind tried to wander off, he dug his nails into his palms to keep himself grounded. The class would be over soon and then he’d go and get some answers.

When it finally ended, Jeonghan sprang up from his seat, tossing his things into his bag and making his way down the steps to the floor at record speed. As he neared Professor Cho, she called to him, forcing him to change direction.

“Is Minhyuk okay?” she asked, the worry in her eyes probably reflected in his own. “I tried calling but he hasn’t picked up. He’s never ignored my calls before. He’s never skipped a class before either.”

The fact that his professor was asking him about her TA, his boyfriend, just drove home how crazy the entire situation was. She’d been cool about them dating when Minhyuk had told her, although she’d warned them to be as discreet as possible since other faculty members might not be, but had never spoken to Jeonghan about or even acknowledged it before. Clearly today was a day of many firsts.

“He wasn’t feeling well this morning,” he lied. “I’m sure he meant to call you. He probably just turned his phone off or it died. I’m heading over there now. I’ll make sure he calls you.”

“Tell him I said to feel better.”

Jeonghan nodded and rushed off, coming to a stop only when Jun grabbed his arm in the hallway and pulled him aside.

“What?” he demanded.

“What the fuck, dude? Don’t yell at me.” Jun glared at him but he could see concern in his eyes as well. “What’s going on? Where’s your ….”

“I swear to God, Jun, if you call him a robot…”

Jun dropped his hand, folding his arms tightly across his chest. “I was going to say _boyfriend_ since that’s what he is. Or is it _was_? Is that why you’re snapping like a turtle? Did you break up?”

Jeonghan took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down. “No. He’s just sick. I’m heading over there now to see if he needs anything.”

Jun’s expression cleared. “Oh, okay. The way you were speeding, I thought he’d died or something. Whew! Well, I hope he feels better.”

“I’ll tell him.”

This time when Jeonghan set off, he made it all the way to Minhyuk’s apartment without being interrupted.

Outside the door, he paused, suddenly unsure of how best to approach the situation.

Should he knock and wait for Minhyuk to let him in or should he use his key?

Not knowing what he would find, _who_ he would find, unnerved him.

Over the past two years, there’d been a few occasions where Minhyuk had had what he jokingly referred to as _mood swings_. He’d grown quieter, a little detached, but it had passed after a couple of days and he’d returned to his usual loving, smiling self. And during those times, he’d seemed to be aware of the change in himself, constantly apologizing to Jeonghan who could only reassure him that he had nothing to apologize for. Jeonghan had been concerned for him, obviously, but he’d also trusted that Minhyuk knew what was best for himself and Minhyuk had never given him reason to think otherwise. As soon as something cropped up, he took care of it.

So this, whatever _this_ was, was unchartered territory.

Deciding to act as normal as possible, Jeonghan took out his key and unlocked the door, taking a deep breath before pushing it in.

_Jesus Christ._

It looked like a tornado hit. Okay, maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration. There wasn’t destruction so much as nothing was where it was supposed to be. Organized chaos was the best way he could think to put it.

“Oh, hey,” Minhyuk greeted, glancing at him over his shoulder before returning to the task at hand: scrubbing the windows. “I can’t believe how filthy I let this place get. My mom would kill me if she saw it.”

Like the trip to the supermarket, they had cleaned the place over the weekend, although between Minhyuk’s OCD and Jeonghan’s natural inclination towards order and cleanliness the place never got dirty to begin with. It was why Minhyuk had dismissed the maid service his mother had hired when he first moved into the apartment. He’d wanted to show her that he could be self-sufficient but the service also wasn’t needed since there was never really anything to clean. His parents might not mind wasting money, they had appearances to keep after all, but Minhyuk tried to live as humbly as possible.

Slowly, Jeonghan closed and locked the door and walked over to Minhyuk, dropping his messenger bag along the way.

“How was class?” Minhyuk asked, scrubbing hard at some invisible smudge on the spotless glass.

“Good.” Jeonghan paused, waiting to see if Minhyuk would ask about Professor Cho before deciding to bring it up himself. “Professor Cho asked for you.”

“Oh?”

Frowning, Jeonghan moved to the side so that he could get a good look at Minhyuk’s face. His brows were furrowed in concentration as he scrubbed away at the glass; spectacles crooked; hair plastered to his forehead with sweat; cheeks flushed. Jeonghan wondered how long he’d been at it.

“Yeah. She said she’d been calling you.”

“Hmm. I think my phone died,” he said casually, seemingly not remembering that he was the T.A. for the class, not just a university student himself. “I’ll charge it and give her a call later.”

“Okay.” Jeonghan watched him in silence for a minute, his chest tightening with each passing second. “Minhyuk…”

“How did this get so dirty?” Minhyuk grumbled. “It hasn’t been _that_ long since we cleaned, has it?” He looked at Jeonghan this time, as if expecting an answer.

Swallowing thickly, Jeonghan forced a small smile. “No, not at all. You’re doing a great job, though.”

Minhyuk grinned, that careless curve of his lips that lit up his eyes. His eyes were over-bright now: a marked difference from the emptiness in their depths that morning. That had to be progress, right?

Jeonghan was beginning to feel awkward, just standing there watching him, not knowing what to say or do, when Minhyuk made a sound of triumph, startling him.

“I think that’s it. Onto the stove.” He dropped his cleaning cloth, not noticing that it landed outside the bowl of slightly murky water, already moving towards the kitchen area. “I think I’m going to cook tonight. That okay?”

“Sure,” Jeonghan replied, feeling like he couldn’t quite keep up. Everything seemed to be moving too fast, or maybe he was the one moving too slowly.

He watched as Minhyuk walked to the fridge – did he forget the stove? – reaching for the handle before changing his mind and spinning towards Jeonghan.

“Where are my manners? Sit.” He ushered Jeonghan towards the sofa, pushing him onto the plush seat. “You must be thirsty. I’ll get you something to drink.” With that, he took off towards the fridge again. A minute later he returned with a glass of Jeonghan’s favourite juice. He hadn’t forgotten that, at least.

Jeonghan sat still, growing more and more panicked while he watched Minhyuk clean frenetically, muttering to himself all the while.

What should he do, he wondered? What _could_ he do? And…if he did nothing, how much worse was it going to get?

His phone’s message alert blaring jerked him out of his thoughts. He glanced over at Minhyuk first, who didn’t seem to notice, before pulling it out of his pocket. It was Jun.

_How is he?_

Jeonghan stared at the words on his screen for a long moment, torn between brushing Jun off and answering honestly. He was out of his depth here and he could use some help, or at least support.

The thing was, Jun still didn’t know about Minhyuk. He’d never explained Minhyuk’s “roboticness” to Jun, choosing instead to keep them apart as much as possible for both Minhyuk’s sake and his own. Minhyuk’s condition wasn’t Jun’s business but every time Jeonghan had to hear his best friend joke about how lame or mechanical Minhyuk was, not knowing the reason why, it pushed Jeonghan an inch closer to knocking his friend’s teeth in. It was in all of their best interests that they hang out as little as possible and Minhyuk had never questioned it so Jeonghan figured he’d made the right decision. Now, he wasn’t so sure.

Sighing, Jeonghan typed a quick message and pressed send.

 _He’s fine. Looks like a 24-hour bug or something_.

Maybe it was time to tell Jun about Minhyuk but he couldn’t do it through text. That was a face-to-face conversation if ever there was one.

Jun replied immediately, sending his regards to Minhyuk once again. Jeonghan set his phone on the coffee table, looking over at his boyfriend who was still contentedly cleaning the stove.

He took a sip of juice to wet his dry throat and shrugged out of his jacket. Usually as soon as he got home, he’d kick off his shoes and swap his jeans and shit for shorts and a tank but he’d been so preoccupied with Minhyuk that he’d forgotten. He threw a longing glance at the bedroom door before turning back to Minhyuk. He realized that he was afraid to leave him alone, even for a minute.

Deciding that he could bear with it a while longer, he kicked off his shoes and sank into the corner of the couch.

He watched Minhyuk spin, becoming the tornado that Jeonghan had initially thought destroyed the apartment. At some point Minhyuk asked him what he wanted for dinner and he mumbled a response, though he couldn’t remember what. Eventually he started to get dizzy from the constant activity and closed his eyes.

He must have dozed off because the next thing he knew, he was opening his eyes to a darkened room and Minhyuk was sitting beside him. Well, actually, he was leaning over him, their faces mere inches apart.

Jeonghan’s heart skipped a beat before settling. He was merely startled at the proximity, he told himself. No matter what happened, he _knew_ , believed with every fibre of his being, that Minhyuk would never hurt him.

“Sorry,” Minhyuk murmured as he sat back, seemingly realizing the awkwardness of the situation. “You’ve been sleeping for a while now and dinner’s almost ready.”

“Oh.” Clearing his throat, Jeonghan straightened. He glanced over at Minhyuk but he wouldn’t meet his eyes. He seemed different from before; more subdued, like he had been when Jeonghan woke up that morning. Had he _changed_ again?

“Go wash up. I’ll set the table.” Minhyuk stood and headed towards the kitchen but he’d only taken a couple steps before he stopped and looked at Jeonghan over his shoulder. “Jun messaged you.”

He sounded a little too casual and as Jeonghan watched him continue to the kitchen, he reached for his phone.

Jun had indeed messaged him but the message had already been read. It wouldn’t be a big deal except that Minhyuk had never done that before. They never went into each other’s phones, didn’t have each other’s passwords. There’d never been any need. Minhyuk was too honest and faithful to cheat or be deceitful and Jeonghan, besides being happy and fulfilled in his relationship, was just downright lazy. They’d even joked about it, that he was too much of a lazy ass to ever stray. That so long as Minhyuk continued to dote on and feed him, he had no reason to ever look elsewhere.

Jun’s message again asked how Minhyuk was doing and when he saw that it had been read but not replied to, he’d messaged again which meant that Minhyuk had gone into his phone twice. Had he simply checked the incoming messages, Jeonghan wondered, or had he gone snooping? He had nothing to hide but it just felt…wrong. Minhyuk, _his_ Minhyuk, simply wasn’t that person.

Needing some space between them, he went into the bathroom, locking the door behind him.

He washed his face, pulling out his hair-tie and running wet fingers through his locks. There were sleep creases on his face, so he really had been sleeping for some time, and his stomach was rumbling, reminding him that he had missed lunch. He had no appetite but Minhyuk had cooked for him so he would eat.

They would get through this, somehow. Maybe he should stop pussyfooting around the elephant in the room and take charge. He’d spent enough time watching Minhyuk spiral and it didn’t seem to be getting any better. Whatever was going on clearly wasn’t going to go away on its own. But before he did anything, he needed to talk to Minhyuk.

With at least a tentative plan in mind, Jeonghan scooped his hair back, tied it, dried his face and went out, plastering a carefully unconcerned expression on his face.

Dinner was delicious. Minhyuk was a good cook, one of the upsides to dating him Jeonghan often teased, and that day was no different. He’d regained some of his chattiness from earlier but it was considerably more toned down, less hyper, so Jeonghan was able to engage him in conversation. Idle conversation, but conversation nonetheless.

When Minhyuk asked how class had gone, Jeonghan once again waited for him to realize that he’d skipped out on Professor Cho but there was still no flash of recognition in his eyes.

“Did you remember to call Professor Cho?” he asked as lightly as he could manage. Apart from Jeonghan, there was no one that Minhyuk was more dedicated to than Professor Cho so the fact that he kept forgetting her, her importance to him, was quite worrying.

Minhyuk shrugged. “I couldn’t find my phone. Maybe in the morning.”

His tone was so casual, so…nonchalant that for the first time that day Jeonghan felt irritation stirring in his gut. He wanted to shake Minhyuk, to ask him what was wrong with him. Guilt was quick to settle in after that, making Jeonghan feel sick to the point that he had to stop eating for fear of throwing up.

He _knew_ what was wrong with Minhyuk and it wasn’t his fault. Jeonghan felt horrible for even considering, even if just for a second, that it was.

Noticing that he’d frozen up, Minhyuk paused mid-chew to ask, “Something wrong?”

“No,” Jeonghan answered with a quick shake of his head. “I’m just…full.”

Minhyuk put down his fork and swallowed. “You don’t like it.”

“No! No, it’s great. You know that you’re the best cook I know,” he teased, hearing how forced it sounded to his own ears. “But I missed lunch and you know how that always upsets my stomach.”

Minhyuk’s expression softened and he smiled gently, looking so much like the boy Jeonghan had fallen in love with that his heart ached. “Yes, I do know silly. You need to take better care of yourself, Hannie.”

That was the first time he’d called him that for the entire day, Jeonghan realized.

It was something Minhyuk had started calling him teasingly after hearing Jun use it, back in the beginning of their relationship, but over the two years since it had become a term of endearment.

Jeonghan could feel himself getting emotional, his insecurity about being able to deal with this situation rising to the fore of his thoughts, so he was more than a little grateful when Minhyuk stood and started clearing the table.

“Why don’t you take a shower and lie down and I’ll make you some tea?” he suggested.

“That sounds great,” Jeonghan replied, feeling like he’d been given a reprieve. A reprieve from what, he honestly couldn’t say, but he needed it.

He tried not to run as he made his way to the bedroom, kicking off his jeans before grabbing a change of clothes and heading to the bathroom.

The hot water felt reaffirming as it sluiced over his tired body. It was a comforting embrace; a momentary ceasefire in this war he felt that he was fighting all by himself.

Minhyuk seemed better, he looked and sounded more like himself in any event, but Jeonghan was too much of a skeptic to believe that it would last. Not after the myriad changes he’d witnessed first-hand in Minhyuk in just one day.

But…perhaps there was a chance. Or maybe now, if he broached it right, he could get Minhyuk to tell him what was going on. Because something was _definitely_ going on. Minhyuk was always so self-aware that Jeonghan didn’t consider for a moment that he didn’t know what was happening. Maybe, like Jeonghan, he just didn’t know what to do to fix it.

As he stepped out of the shower and began toweling off, Jeonghan formulated a plan. First, he would ask Minhyuk how he was feeling. He’d know if he was lying because Minhyuk simply wasn’t any good at it. It was against his very nature. Depending on what Minhyuk said, he would suggest contacting his therapist. Actually, regardless of what Minhyuk said he would tell him to call his therapist. Just talking to her usually got him in a better head-space whenever he was stressed or moody and she always said that she would be available to him around the clock so there’d be no need to wait until morning.

Jeonghan might have considered calling her himself if it didn’t feel like such an invasion of privacy. The whole reason Minhyuk had gotten a therapist in the first place was because the university counselor, who he’d been seeing during his undergrad years, had apparently been reporting to his parents. His mother, to be specific. When he’d decided to pursue his grad degree, and after finding out about that betrayal of trust, Minhyuk had agreed to continue counseling if he could choose his therapist himself. His parents still footed the bill, of course, but they’d had no contact with his therapist so far as he was aware. The last thing Jeonghan wanted to do was over-step his boundaries. He’d made such a point of giving Minhyuk complete autonomy over himself that he didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize that now. But the fact remained that Minhyuk needed help and Jeonghan was in over his head.

Once he was dressed, Jeonghan strode out of the bathroom with purpose but as soon as he saw Minhyuk, he stopped short, the wind going out of his sails.

The loft was dark, save for the lone lamp beside the sofa, and Minhyuk was standing in front of the windows staring out, or up, at the bright, silver moon.

“Rain is coming,” he said, to Jeonghan or the room at large he didn’t know.

“Min…”

“Your tea’s on the counter,” Minhyuk said tonelessly as he turned from the windows and walked past him. Jeonghan heard the bathroom door close and lock behind him.

Feeling more lost and unsettled than before, he made his way to the kitchen counter where there was indeed a cup of tea waiting. Jeonghan didn’t really feel like drinking it but his stomach needed _something_ to calm it and he didn’t want to offend Minhyuk. Assuming he’d even notice or care, it was hard to say at this point.

 _So much for his plan._ He wasn’t ready to give up, though.

He leaned against the counter, gaze fixed on the bathroom door as he waited for Minhyuk to come out. They were addressing this once and for all. He wasn’t going to bed not knowing what the hell was happening.

About ten minutes had passed before he realized that Minhyuk was more than likely waiting him out. Minhyuk didn’t take baths and his showers never ran longer than five minutes. Today could be different since everything else was but somehow Jeonghan just knew.

He waited another five minutes, confirming his suspicion, before rinsing out his cup and going into the bedroom. There was no water running in the bathroom as he neared it and if Minhyuk was listening through the door then he would hear his footsteps when he entered the bedroom.

Not five minutes after he’d dropped onto the bed, Minhyuk emerged.

“Sorry I took so long. The water felt too good.” To anyone else, he would’ve sounded normal and reasonable but Jeonghan knew he was lying. He wanted to ask him why. He didn’t.

“I’m gonna go brush my teeth,” he said instead, standing and moving automatically to the bathroom.

He just wanted the day to end, he decided. He was tired and he felt defeated. If Minhyuk didn’t want to talk, fine. He’d let him get away with it today and only today. Tomorrow, they were going to deal with it or else… Well, he didn’t want to think beyond that. His options were limited as it was.

He brushed his teeth furiously, making his gums bleed with his carelessness but he couldn’t be bothered. He was on auto-pilot: just going through the motions of what needed to be done.

When he walked back into the bedroom, Minhyuk was just settling into bed. Jeonghan glanced at the alarm clock, noting that it was just past 9:00pm. They never usually went to bed before midnight but maybe a few extra hours rest would do them both some good.

As he climbed into his side, he suddenly felt nervous. Would Minhyuk want to do… _stuff_? Lately, since Minhyuk’s new burst of energy, their sexual encounters had increased. Just the night before they’d fooled around for hours before finally making love and going to sleep wrapped in each other’s arms. Granted, Minhyuk had seemed to be avoiding him just now but he’d still come to _their_ bed so.

Jeonghan didn’t know if he could put himself through that, not feeling as disconnected from Minhyuk as he presently did. At the same time, if Minhyuk _did_ seem so inclined, he wouldn’t want to push him away and make him feel rejected.

In the end, he needn’t have worried because after throwing a barely-audible “goodnight” his way, Minhyuk rolled onto his side, back towards Jeonghan, and turned off the bedside lamp.

Jeonghan was momentarily stunned. Since they’d started sleeping together, even before they’d actually started having sex regularly, they’d never gone to bed without a kiss or touch or… _something_.

An overwhelming sadness settled upon Jeonghan and fear that he might not be able to fix things, _them_ , after all consumed him.

He didn’t think he would asleep, not feeling as bereft as he did and with his mind racing a mile a minute, but he must have drifted off because when he woke up the room was filled with light and the alarm clock read 5:22am.

Even before he turned over, Jeonghan knew that Minhyuk wasn’t beside him. The room felt cold and empty. That and he could hear him moving around outside.

Closing his eyes again, Jeonghan pulled a pillow over his face and took a deep breath. He needed a minute to himself before he faced the day; before he faced Minhyuk or whoever it was that had inhabited his boyfriend’s body.

It was probably unkind to think that way, knowing that Minhyuk had no control over what was happening to him, but Jeonghan didn’t care. In the privacy of his own thoughts, he could be mean and petty if only for a moment.

Maybe five minutes passed before the lack of proper air-flow began to hurt his chest and, with a defeated sigh, he pushed the pillow aside and climbed out of bed.

He made it just outside the door before he pulled the brakes, his heart sinking.

Minhyuk was cleaning again.

His hair was sticking up like he’d run his hands through it; there was a rag thrown over his shoulder and he was on all fours on the ground scrubbing God knew what.

Jesus, it was too early.

Quietly, Jeonghan turned around and slipped back into bed, pulling the covers tightly around him.

As someone not often driven by emotion, Jeonghan could only remember a handful of times throughout his life that he’d cried and none of them were in the past ten years. And yet his chest felt constricted and his eyes burned. He was sad, he realized. He was lost and afraid and sad. And he still didn’t know what to do. He’d never felt this helpless in his entire life.

He considered messaging Jun, if only to have contact with another human being, but then he remembered that he’d left his phone out on the coffee table the night before. _Dammit_.

Deciding that more sleep was the next best thing, he closed his eyes and focused on his breathing. Ironically, it was Minhyuk who had taught him the breathing exercises. If only Minhyuk’s problems would be so easily solved.

The next time Jeonghan opened his eyes, it was 9:37am. He’d hid long enough; it was time to face the day.

But first, a shower.

When he emerged dressed, his hair still wet and clinging to his neck, Minhyuk was sitting on the couch with a coffee mug in his hand looking like his old self.

“I thought about waking you for class but you looked so peaceful,” he said conversationally. “Figured you were tired and could use the extra sleep.”

“Thanks.” Luckily Minhyuk had waited ‘til the last week of classes to have his breakdown otherwise Jeonghan’s dilemma would’ve been even more complicated. He still hated missing class but at least he was in a safe enough position to do so.

“There’s coffee in the pot and a plate in the microwave. Just toast and eggs.”

Jeonghan thanked him again, marveling at how normal he sounded as he made his way to the kitchen. Maybe things were looking up.

He decided to delay confronting Minhyuk and instead observe him for a few hours. If he looked like he was unraveling again, Jeonghan would step in before he got too deep into the frenzy.

It started out well enough, him eating at the dining table by the windows while Minhyuk drank his coffee on the couch. Eventually Minhyuk turned on the TV and started watching the news so Jeonghan grabbed his laptop from his bag and took it to the table, checking his emails while he drank a second cup. He had an email from his project group, which he replied to quickly, but nothing else of importance.

He considered sending Jun an email, which reminded him that he still hadn’t checked his phone.

Rising, he walked to the living area, eyes trained on the coffee table only to realize that it was empty. Or at least, his phone wasn’t there.

Casting a glance at Minhyuk, he asked tentatively, “Have you seen my phone?”

“Hmm?” Minhyuk looked up, his eyes seeming to take a few seconds to focus on him. “What?”

“My phone. Have you seen it?”

Minhyuk blinked. “Uh, no? Did you check the bedroom?”

Jeonghan stared at him wordlessly, his mind struggling to process the situation. It wasn’t difficult: Minhyuk had obviously moved his phone and now he was lying about it. The problem he was having was believing that it was happening to begin with. First Minhyuk had checked his messages, now he’d hidden his phone, probably the same place he’d stashed his own. He didn’t understand why. There was nothing stopping Jeonghan from walking out the door if he wanted to. Minhyuk would never hurt him, would never try to stop him from leaving. But it also didn’t seem like Minhyuk was playing a game so what was he doing?

And why, after the past twenty-four hours, was Jeonghan still trying to make sense of an impossible situation?

“It’s fine,” he finally said, carefully sitting on the sofa. He curled into the arm-rest, tucking his feet up under him, effectively leaving a huge gap between him and Minhyuk. “It wasn’t important.”

He saw Minhyuk give him a look out of the corner of his eye before returning to the TV.

Jeonghan took a few deep breaths to settle himself before doing the same.

When lunch time rolled around, Minhyuk got up and headed to the kitchen and Jeonghan decided to join him. Silently, they put together sandwiches, Jeonghan pouring glasses of juice for each of them. It was all completely normal and simultaneously dreadful.

After lunch, Minhyuk returned to his spot on the couch and Jeonghan tried to sit with him but Minhyuk was still watching the News, which was basically the same stories being rehashed over and over since nothing important was going on in the country that day. After a half hour, Jeonghan got up and went back to his laptop at the dining table but he couldn’t think of anything to do or watch and didn’t think he’d be able to stay focused on anything long enough with the way he was feeling. Ultimately he ended up staring out the window, arms wrapped tightly around himself as he struggled to keep it together.

He’d never had any problem staying at home, hell he was a homebody who considered sleep a legitimate hobby. When he was at his apartment, the silence never bothered him but he wasn’t used to it when he was at Minhyuk’s. He wasn’t used to feeling like he was sharing space with a stranger. The silence was deafening and he felt like he was on the verge of exploding.

And then there was a knock at the door.

Jeonghan froze, eyes immediately swinging to Minhyuk who had also gone still. He waited for another knock before he slowly made his way to the door, intending to send whoever it was away as quickly as possible. Now wasn’t the time for visitors.

He opened the door just a crack, pulling it a little wider when he saw who was on the other side.

“You’re alive!” Jun exclaimed, looking somewhat surprised.

“Uh, hey.” Jun took a step forward, as if to enter, and Jeonghan leaned his weight against the door effectively stopping him from trying.

Jun gave him an odd look. “I’ve been calling. And you haven’t returned my messages.”

“Oh, sorry. My, uh, phone died. I forgot to charge it last night and it was _dead_ dead by the time I woke up.”

“That’s very unlike you.” Jun commented, aiming for casual but Jeonghan could hear the question in his tone.

“I was a little busy playing nursemaid last night,” he said with a small smile.

“Ew,” Jun groaned. “I don’t need to hear about your perverted role-playing games.”

Jeonghan cocked a brow. “Since when?”

Jun’s disgusted expression melted into a smirk. “Touché.” Jeonghan saw Jun’s gaze shift to just over his shoulder and he knew that Minhyuk had come into view. “Hey.”

Panic rising in his chest, Jeonghan edged the door close a little more, trying to block Minhyuk with his body. “You’d better get going. I think I’m coming down with whatever he has…” He forced a cough. “…and I wouldn’t want you to get it. You might infect the entire school.”

“Fuck you, bitch,” Jun grumbled. Jeonghan’s distraction worked, though, since Jun took a step back, glancing down at his watch. “I have to go, anyway. Mr. Lee wants to see me.”

“The Mr. Lee that you had sex with or…”

Jun stomped off, flipping the bird over his shoulder.

For a brief moment, Jeonghan watched him go, a smile flirting around the corners of his lips. For the first time that day, he felt okay. _This_ was normal.

He took a moment to savor it before closing the door and turning around.

Minhyuk was still standing but as Jeonghan started towards him, he dropped onto the couch, grabbing the remote.

Jeonghan paused for only a moment before changing course and heading to the bedroom. Nap time.

When he awoke, the room was dim but not completely dark so he knew that it was late afternoon and not night time.

Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he headed out into the living area for the third time that day. Minhyuk was just where he’d left him, sitting on the sofa, and for some reason Jeonghan found himself getting angry.

Enough was enough.

Stalking round the couch to the empty end, he looked down at Minhyuk, expression stern. “Where’s my phone?”

Minhyuk blinked up at him, as if coming out of a daze. “What?”

“Where’s my phone, Min?”

“I don’t…”

“I know you took it. I left it here last night and when I woke up this morning, it was gone.”

Before Minhyuk could reply, i.e. lie again, Jeonghan changed tactics. “Okay, where’s your phone? I want to use it.”

Color rode high in Minhyuk’s cheeks.  “I…it’s charging.”

“Where?” Jeonghan pressed. “I’ll be quick, don’t worry.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Minhyuk hedged.

“Why not? What’s wrong with it?”

“It’s not safe.”

Jeonghan stared at him for a long moment, digging deep for patience and calm. If it were anyone else, he would’ve gone off already but this was Minhyuk. He _wasn’t_ anyone else and he was sick.

Sitting beside him, Jeonghan asked gently, “What’s going on, Min?”

Minhyuk started shaking his head, obviously going for another denial, but once again Jeonghan cut him off.

“Don’t say “nothing”. Something is very obviously up and I want you to be honest with me.”

Minhyuk continued to stare at him, chewing his bottom lip nervously.

“Let me help you,” Jeonghan pleaded. “I can’t help you if you don’t let me. And I don’t know how much more of this I can take,” he admitted. “If you don’t tell me what’s going on…”

Minhyuk gulped visibly. “What?”

Jeonghan sighed. “I don’t know.”

“You’ll leave?” Minhyuk asked, a hitch to his voice.

Jeonghan was stunned. Despite his frustration, the thought had never crossed his mind. If anything, he’d allowed himself to be trapped for a whole day _because_ he was afraid of leaving Minhyuk alone.

“No. I’d never do that,” he promised. “But you can’t go on like this. And I can’t either.”

Minhyuk buried his face in his hands and Jeonghan stayed quiet, giving him a minute.

Soon enough he realized that Minhyuk’s shoulders were shaking; the sides of his face and his ears turning red.

He was crying.

Jeonghan had never seen him upset, not like this. There’d been times in the past with his mother, when he’d been frustrated by her lack of acceptance and support, but he’d only teared up a little not full-on cried.

“Oh, Minnie,” he sighed, scooting closer and placing his hand on Minhyuk’s back, resting his chin on his shoulder. “Talk to me.”

On a sob, Minhyuk turned into him, burying his face in Jeonghan’s chest, his arms snaking around him to hold onto him tight while he shook.

Then he came clean.

About a month prior, Minhyuk had stopped taking his medication. He was the happiest he’d ever been, he said. He was about to graduate and for the first time in his life he had a committed partner who loved him in spite of his illness. But he felt lacking.

“I just wanted to be normal,” he admitted tearfully. “I wanted you to have a normal boyfriend who you would be proud to go out with and have fun with your friends; not a robot, not someone you had to cater to or worry that he might malfunction.”

 _Dammit Jun_ , Jeonghan swore mentally. He couldn’t be mad at Jun, though: not really. Jun was an ass but if he’d known the truth he would’ve watched his words around Minhyuk. Maybe a little _too_ much, which was exactly why Jeonghan had never told him. He hadn’t wanted Jun to treat him any differently.

“I was so happy. _You_ made me happy. I thought maybe this was what had been missing all my life. I didn’t stop cold-turkey. I started skipping days and after a week, or so I stopped. I felt fine at first. I felt great, actually. For the first time in years I was in control of myself. Medication helps, it’s what it’s supposed to do, but sometimes I feel like a stranger in my own body and I just wanted to not feel like that anymore. I wanted to be with you as me, 100%. And I was and it was perfect. I’ve never been so happy, Hannie.”

As Jeonghan listened to him, everything clicked into place. The carefree attitude; the sudden increased sexual appetite and boundless energy. Minhyuk had told him about the side-effects of his medication before but Jeonghan had never really felt like it seriously affected their relationship. Occasionally Minhyuk might be moody or he’d have a bout of insomnia; once they had an unfortunate situation where they’d started getting busy in the bedroom and Minhyuk’s equipment refused to get on board. Minhyuk had been mortified, so much so that he’d hid in the bathroom for an hour, and Jeonghan had felt terrible. And helpless: a feeling that he was becoming far too familiar with given their current situation.

Minhyuk went on to tell him that he’d started feeling “off” around the third week. He’d feel anxious one minute and really tired the next. His hands would shake and he wouldn’t be able to get them to stop. Jeonghan didn’t know how he could’ve missed all of that when they’d hardly spent a minute apart.

Then the kicker: he hadn’t slept in five days.

This shocked Jeonghan the most because they’d gone to bed together every night for the past week and Minhyuk had fallen asleep before him at least once. Hell, just the night before he’d still been up staring at the clock while Minhyuk had been off in la-la land.

At Jeonghan’s confusion, Minhyuk clarified that he would fall asleep sometimes, maybe for an hour or so, but then he’d be awake again, unable to drift off a second time. He’d read over his thesis or clean up the apartment while waiting for Jeonghan to wake up and just before the alarm went off, he’d climb back into bed so that Jeonghan wouldn’t suspect that anything was wrong.

“But yesterday…” He sniffled, pulling back enough to wipe his nose with his hand. “I woke up because I thought I’d heard something. A kind of scratching. I looked and looked but didn’t see anything. Then I realized that it was coming from the wall except it couldn’t be which meant that it was in my head and of course it is because I’m fucking crazy.”

“You’re not…” Jeonghan began but Minhyuk didn’t let him finish.

“I knew that it wasn’t real. I _knew_ it, Hannie. But…I felt like maybe if there was a chance, just the slightest, that I had to do something about it.”

 _Ahh_. “Hence the cleaning?” Jeonghan offered with a small smile, belying his aching heart.

Minhyuk nodded.

“At least we won’t have to clean again for a while,” Jeonghan joked.

“You deserve so much better than me,” Minhyuk whispered and the dejection in his voice was like a knife through the chest. “I’m broken.”

Jeonghan tightened his arms around him. “I don’t care.”

“You should,” Minhyuk insisted. “You should be with someone like Jun. Someone fun and handsome and…normal.”

“Normal’s overrated. What the fuck is normal anyway, and who gets to decide? And as for Jun, I had my chance and I declined, remember?”

“Maybe you’re crazy too.”

“Maybe.” Jeonghan shrugged. “That just makes us even more perfect for each other, doesn’t it?”

Minhyuk didn’t answer but Jeonghan felt the tension in his shoulders slowly drain away. He stopped crying, his sobs dying down to little hiccups and eventually he fell asleep.

Jeonghan shifted them so that his back was against the arm-rest and Minhyuk was half on top of him, both of their legs hanging over the side of the sofa. It wasn’t the most comfortable position to be in but he wasn’t about to wake Minhyuk up from a clearly much-needed nap.

Instead he watched him, stroking the hair away from his forehead. He looked young and vulnerable; even in sleep his brows were creased, his dreams clearly troubled.

Jeonghan wished that Minhyuk had come clean sooner. He might not have been able to help him himself but he would’ve made sure that he got the help he needed. Jeonghan didn’t know much about long-term medication use since he’d been fortunate to never have had more than a cold in his life but he knew enough to understand that Minhyuk couldn’t just quit his meds, not after being on them for years, without it taking a serious toll on his body, maybe even his mind.

Sighing, he kissed the top of Minhyuk’s head and rested his cheek upon it.

At least he knew now, and he knew what they had to do. He was sure that Minhyuk did too.

Minhyuk slept for hours. Jeonghan drifted off a couple of times but he was ultimately too uncomfortable to really sleep.

The room was pitch-black, save for the TV and moonlight streaming through the window, by the time Minhyuk finally woke up. He was groggy and listless so Jeonghan made him lie down while he turned on the lights and fixed them a quick dinner.

After they ate, he set the plates down on the coffee table and took Minhyuk’s hand in both of his.

Minhyuk looked at him warily, as if he knew what was coming.

“Where’s my phone, Min?” he asked gently, no trace of judgment or anger in his voice. He wasn’t mad and it honestly didn’t matter, he just wanted him to come clean.

Minhyuk glanced guiltily at the side-drawer in the coffee table. Jeonghan reached over to open it and, eureka!, both his and Minhyuk’s phones were neatly tucked away, side by side like black and white soldiers guarding the drawer. He took them out and placed them on top of the table.

“Thank you.” He clasped Minhyuk’s hand between both of his again, his thumb tenderly stroking the fragile bones of the back of his hand. “You know what we have to do, don’t you?”

Minhyuk’s expression fell but he nodded. “Yeah.”

“It’ll be okay,” Jeonghan assured him. “Dr. Linda will help you.”

“She’ll call my mother.”

Jeonghan’s heart clenched and his grip tightened. “You don’t know that.”

Minhyuk smiled sadly. “She won’t have a choice.”

Minhyuk’s mother entering the picture was the worst case scenario. Jeonghan would consider every other option before he let that happen.

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, okay?” He brought Minhyuk’s hand to his mouth and kissed his knuckles before laying his cheek upon it. “I’ll be there every step of the way.”

Minhyuk’s eyes dropped, his chin following shortly after. “I don’t deserve you.”

“If ever there was a person who deserved me, it’s you,” Jeonghan replied sincerely.

He pressed another kiss to Minhyuk’s hand before dropping it to reach over and pick up his phone. Turning it on, he saw that Minhyuk had a ton of texts and messages from Professor Cho and several of his classmates. There were also two from his mother.

Glancing quickly at him, Jeonghan cleared his notifications and searched out Dr. Linda Choi’s name in his contacts before handing it to him.

Minhyuk took the phone and dialed. When Dr. Choi answered and he began to talk, Jeonghan stood and picked up the plates, heading to the kitchen to give him his privacy.

As he cleaned up, he thought over the last month. He’d noticed the difference in Minhyuk, obviously, but there was no way he would’ve known the reason behind it. He never thought that Minhyuk would do something so irresponsible and reckless; not when the cost was so high. He wanted to feel disappointed but he couldn’t muster any kind of negative emotion towards his boyfriend. Not disappointment, not anger. He was just sad; sad that Minhyuk felt like he needed to go to such lengths for him. It made him wonder if he’d ever said or done anything to give Minhyuk the impression that he wasn’t happy with him.

Approaching footsteps brought him out of his thoughts and he switched off the faucet as he turned towards Minhyuk.

“She’s expecting us at 11:00am, sharp,” he said. “She offered to come over now but…I couldn’t let her do that. It’s enough of an inconvenience that she had to cancel a patient just to squeeze me in.” He chuckled slightly. “She opens at nine but I guess whoever she has scheduled is even crazier than I am.”

“Min,” Jeonghan scolded.

“Sorry,” he apologized, looking genuinely chastised.

“Did she say anything else?”

“I should take a dose tonight. Tomorrow when we meet she’ll decide where we go from here.”

Jeonghan nodded. “Okay.” He opened the drawer where Minhyuk kept his meds, bottles neatly aligned in rows with the labels facing up, and took them out, placing them on the counter in front of him. He poured him and glass of water and handed it over.

Jeonghan told himself not to watch while he took the pills, not wanting Minhyuk to feel like he was being supervised, but he simply couldn’t make himself look away.

When Minhyuk was done, he put everything back, rinsed out the glass and walked around the counter to take his hand.

“How about a shower?” he suggested.

Minhyuk nodded, roses blooming in his cheeks.

Neither of them was in any mood to do anything, Jeonghan was sure, but sex wasn’t the only form of intimacy.

He led Minhyuk to the bathroom and undressed them both while the shower heated up. They stepped in and he directed Minhyuk beneath the shower head, watching as the water flowed over his pale skin.

When he was sufficiently wet, he shampooed his hair, taking the time to really massage his scalp and shoulders. While the shampoo rinsed, he reached for the soap and loofah and got to work on his body.

Once upon a time, bathing someone would’ve been unfathomable to Jeonghan. He’d honestly never imagined caring about someone so much that he’d physically want to take care of them to that extent. Maybe his parents, in their old age, but not a partner who was fully capable of doing it themselves.

Yet, here he was and it felt _right_. He hadn’t taken good enough care of Minhyuk when he was well. Maybe if he had, none of this would have happened. But Minhyuk needed him now more than ever and he’d be damned if he let anything or anyone stop him from being there for him.

When Minhyuk was clean, he dried him off and sent him to the bedroom to get dressed before quickly jumping back into the shower and taking care of himself.

When he walked into the bedroom, Minhyuk was seated at the foot of the bed. He wore his pajama bottoms and nothing else.

His eyes remained fixed on Jeonghan as he finished toweling off and getting dressed but he didn’t say anything and made no attempt to touch him.

Jeonghan neatened up the room, taking the wet towels back to the bathroom, before turning off the overhead light and climbing into his side of the bed.

He waited until Minhyuk had settled beside him before turning off the bedside lamp.

They were both on their sides, facing each other in the dark. Jeonghan felt a puff of hot air on his face before the gentle brush of Minhyuk’s lips against his.

He leaned into it, parting his lips slightly as he curled a hand around the back of Minhyuk’s neck.

Sex still didn’t seem like a good idea but unlike the night before, he didn’t think he’d resist Minhyuk if he was so inclined.

However, Minhyuk was the one who ultimately broke the kiss, resting his forehead against Jeonghan’s.

“I love you so much,” he whispered, his words a veneration in the dark.

“I love you too.”

 

A sharp jerk woke Jeonghan up, his brain a little foggy before he realized what it was.

Minhyuk was shivering in his arms, his skin clammy.

He couldn’t see his face since it was dark and they’d both moved during the night, his front to Minhyuk’s back, but he knew that Minhyuk was awake; he had to be the way his body was shaking. But Minhyuk didn’t say anything and so neither did Jeonghan. He simply tightened his hold around him, pressing a kiss to the back of his neck before laying his cheek against his sweaty skin, listening to the galloping beat of his heart.

Jeonghan was sure a couple of hours passed before Minhyuk finally fell asleep again. Unfortunately, his mind was still alert so it took him a little longer.

The rising sun brought hope.

Jeonghan woke first, oddly enough, but he stayed in bed until Minhyuk’s eyes finally blinked open before he went to make them breakfast.

Minhyuk seemed somber and he said that his head felt cloudy, it was hard for him to focus, but this was familiar territory at least so Jeonghan wasn’t worried. And he was communication, most importantly.

After breakfast, they settled on the couch, cuddling while watching a music show.

The sudden thumping on the door made them both jump.

“Yoon Jeonghan, open this door this minute!”

The demanding screech was all too familiar and it had Jeonghan scrambling to his feet.

His hand was on the door handle when he heard a soft _“don’t”_ behind him. He glanced back at Minhyuk to see that he was holding himself straight, eyes trained on his tightly clasped hands.

Jeonghan understood. Minhyuk was already embarrassed and didn’t want Jun to see him this way. It didn’t matter that he looked fine to Jeonghan’s eyes or that Jun didn’t know what was wrong with him. _He_ knew and he felt as if he wore his illness like a label stamped into his forehead.

“Junie,” Jeonghan said calmly, using his pet name for his friend in the hope that it would add credence to what he was about to say. “Why are you trying to break my door down?”

“Open up,” Jun demanded.

“I can’t.” _Shit_. He shouldn’t have said that.

There was a lengthy pause before Jun said, “Open the door, Jeonghan.” His voice was scarily serious and it sent a chill down Jeonghan’s spine.

“We’re contagious, remember?” He tried to pass it off lightly but wasn’t sure he’d succeeded.

“Why haven’t you replied to my messages?”

 _Shit, shit, shit!_ The first thing he should’ve done when he found his phone was text Jun. He’d been so busy with Minhyuk that he’d completely forgotten.

“My phone was dead, remember?”

“For over a day?”

“I promise to call you, okay? We’ll Facetime, I swear.” _Please, Jun_ , he silently begged. _Just let it go_.

There was another lengthy pause. “Open the door, Hannie. Just let me see you and I’ll go.”

Jeonghan chanced a glance back at Minhyuk. He looked agitated, his upper teeth clenched on his bottom lip and his fingers digging into his palms. There was a slight sheen to his forehead that hadn’t been there before.

“I can’t,” Jeonghan repeated, his voice breaking on a hitch. “ _Please_ , Jun.”

Another moment of silence before Jun said, “Okay,” and Jeonghan heard him walk away.

A tremor of panic raced down Jeonghan’s spine, a feeling of apprehension pricking his chest, but he pushed it away, schooling his features before he turned back to Minhyuk.

“He’s worried about you,” he said guiltily, still not meeting Jeonghan’s gaze.

“I know. I’ll send him a message in a bit and call him when we get back. It’ll be fine, don’t worry,” he assured him, even though he didn’t believe his own words.

“Okay.”

“Hey, it’s almost 9:00. How about you start getting ready? We should leave around 10:00. You know how bad traffic is this time of day.”

Minhyuk nodded and shuffled off to the bedroom to gather a change of clothing. Jeonghan waited until he was in the bathroom and the shower turned on before reaching for his phone.

He powered it up, surprised to see that he still had 37% battery power – so clearly, like Minhyuk’s phone, it hadn’t died – and typed up a quick message, sending it off to Jun. He considered taking a picture but wasn’t sure it would help his case. He’d seen a quick flash of his reflection in the mirror that morning and there were dark circles forming beneath his eyes. It didn’t mean anything, he’d been studying hard preparing for exams and he’d said that he was sick but God knew what Jun would think. Probably better not to take the chance.

Jun didn’t reply immediately which worried Jeonghan but he set his phone down and went to the bedroom to pick out his clothes.

They were dressed way too early, which wouldn’t have bothered Jeonghan if he didn’t have this pressing feeling that they needed to get on their way as soon as possible but Minhyuk had calmed down so he didn’t say anything, not wanting to alarm him. He would’ve suggested walking to kill the time – Dr. Choi’s office wasn’t that far – but the fact that Minhyuk had already asked him to drive, something that he knew Jeonghan hated to do in the city, told him that he probably didn’t feel stable enough. And Minhyuk didn’t do well with crowds or strangers when he was going through one of his episodes.

“You know, auditory hallucinations aren’t a symptom of bipolar disorder,” Minhyuk informed him. He was sitting at the dining table killing time on Jeonghan’s laptop. “Maybe I’m turning into a schizo.” He laughed but the sound had a nasty edge to it that grated on Jeonghan’s nerves.

“Don’t say that,” he snapped. Inside, he was mildly freaking out. Was that even possible? He’d never heard of it happening but if there was one thing this experience had taught him it was that he didn’t know much about anything where Minhyuk’s illness was concerned.

“Sorry.” Minhyuk’s expression fell. “I’m sorry about all of this. I never thought…I messed up.”

“I know.” Jeonghan wanted to say more, his heart aching for the man he loved, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that doom was on its way. “Hey, how about we leave now? If we’re too early, we can go to the café across the street.”

Minhyuk looked uncertain and Jeonghan understood that he wasn’t yet ready to face the world but his internal alarm was screaming _get out_ and he couldn’t ignore it anymore.

“I’ll be right there,” he promised, walking over to take Minhyuk’s hand. “I’ll slay the dragons for you.” He smiled coaxingly and after a minute or so, Minhyuk responded with a goofy smile of his own.

“With what sword?” he asked as he got to his feet.

“My trusty bag, of course,” Jeonghan quipped.

It still took them another fifteen minutes of checking and double-checking to be ready to leave but they got there.

They were joking around as they slipped into their coats when there was a knock on the door.

They both froze, glancing at each other before their eyes slid to the door.

“Who is it?” Jeonghan called out.

“It’s me.”

It was Jun, again.

Frowning, Jeonghan walked over, laying a hand on the handle although he didn’t open it. “Didn’t you get my message?”

“Yeah. That’s, uh, why I’m here.”

Confused, Jeonghan looked back at Minhyuk.

He seemed to take a bracing breath before stepping to the side, positioning himself out of viewing range, and gesturing for Jeonghan to open the door.

Taking a deep breath of his own, Jeonghan opened the door enough that Jun could see all of him.

“What?” he snapped.

Jun blinked, looking surprised.

“You’re…alive.”

Jeonghan rolled his eyes. “Duh. Did you think I messaged you from my grave?”

Jun had the grace to blush. “I mean…after this morning, I thought…”

Jeonghan frowned. “Jun…what did you do?”

Jun’s blush deepened. Jeonghan was so focused on him that he jumped when someone suddenly appeared behind Jun.

“Jesus Chri…” He broke off, eyes widening when he realized who it was. “Dean Park,” he breathed.

“Might I come in?” Dean Park was a short, grandfatherly-looking gentleman who Jeonghan had only ever had the opportunity to talk to once, during orientation. He’d heard mostly good things about him but he couldn’t imagine why on earth he would be at their, _Minhyuk’s_ , door.

Jeonghan looked back at Minhyuk, who had wrapped his arms around himself and had begun to shake his head.

“I…” Jeonghan stammered.

But the decision was made for him. When he’d been startled, he’d stepped back and left enough room for the door to push inward, allowing Dean Park to now step into the apartment.

“Mr. Lee,” Dean Park greeted.

Minhyuk was getting more and more distressed, his head shaking furiously. “ _No_.” He sounded like a frightened child.

Jeonghan was immediately at his side, placing a firm arm around him. “It’s okay. It’s fine.”

“If you would just come with me, Mr. Lee,” Dean Park said gently, his eyes looking sympathetic.

“Come with you _where_?” Jeonghan queried, a mixture of fear and irritating pecking at him. “We were just on our way to a doctor’s appointment.”

“Please,” he beseeched.

“I think there’s been a misunderstanding,” Jeonghan began, his mind racing to think of something he could say to diffuse an obviously escalating situation. _Why_ was it escalating, though? What was he missing?

“I’m so sorry,” Jun said, reminding Jeonghan that he was still there. He looked guilty. “I didn’t know this would happen.”

“ _What_?” Jeonghan demanded. “What’s happening?”

“I…”

_“Jeonghan!”_

The world seemed to come to a screeching halt when Jeonghan’s mother rushed into the room.

He didn’t get a chance to react or say anything to her before two men, beefy, surly and dressed severely in white, charged in behind her.

Minhyuk flinched, pulling out of Jeonghan’s hold as he stumbled backward.

“What’s going on?” Jeonghan demanded, eyes flitting among the new arrivals. He didn’t care who it came from, he just needed answers.

“Honey, just let them…” His mother reached for him but he side-stepped her hand and hurried over to Minhyuk, who was shaking, his eyes tearing up.

Jeonghan cupped his cheeks, keeping his voice firm but gentle despite the fact that the world was literally spinning out of control.

“Listen to me. It’s going to be fine, okay? I’m not going anywhere. I’m not,” he promised.

Minhyuk shook his head. “They’re here to take me away.” The abject fear and defeat in his voice tore at Jeonghan’s heart.

“I’m not going to let that happen.” Still holding onto him, Jeonghan turned to the room at large. “There seems to be a misunderstanding. We’re on our way to an appointment with Dr. Choi, Minhyuk’s therapist. You can call her if you like.”

“Mr. Yoon…” Dean Park began.

“No!” Jeonghan snapped. “I don’t know what Jun told you but we’ve done nothing wrong. Everything’s fine. Just let us go.”

“Mrs. Lee…” Dean Park started again.

“I don’t care what that vile bitch has to say,” Jeonghan growled.

“Unfortunately, she’s Minhyuk’s conservator,” he explained, still looking sympathetic for all the good it did. “She’s decided that it’s in his best interest to be admitted to a medical facility.”

“He hasn’t done anything!” Jeonghan screamed, anger a living, breathing monster in his chest. This couldn’t be happening; not after all the progress they’d made. Not after he’d promised to take care of him. “This isn’t right.”

“I’m sorry.”

After that, everything seemed to speed up, like someone pressed fast-forward on the remote of his life.

Minhyuk started crying in earnest, begging to be let go, to see Dr. Choi, for Jeonghan to save him. The anguish in his voice would stay with Jeonghan for a long time to come.

Jeonghan was at a loss, not knowing what to do or how best to appeal to the people in the room. Things had gotten way too out of control.

In the end, there was probably nothing he could have done.

Before his brain came back online, he found himself flailing backward when one of the goons pushed him out of the way, Jun moving quickly to catch him the only thing keeping him from toppling over.

They had Minhyuk by an arm each and proceeded to drag him towards the door.

Jeonghan knew that words were coming out of his own mouth, he was pleading for them to let him go, but it sounded like it was coming from far away.

Jun held him back , the only thing keeping him from attempting to claw their eyes out, and the next thing he knew Minhyuk was sagging between them, a needle to the neck effectively silencing his cries.

It all got a bit hazy after that.

When he became aware of his surroundings again, he was sitting on the couch in his apartment. He honestly couldn’t remember how he’d gotten there. He couldn’t remember leaving the campus or the ride home. The last thing he’d been aware of was the feeling of helplessness in his chest as Minhyuk called and reached for him before he was drugged into unconsciousness.

Then his mother was beside him, pressing a cup of tea into his hand and stroking his hair.

Jeonghan wanted to be angry with her but he couldn’t muster the strength to feel anything. He was just numb.

Sometime later, when his mom was asleep in his room, he found his phone on his coffee table and mindlessly picked it up. By some miracle it still had power and he saw that he had a message from Jun.

_Sorry._

Placing the phone back on the table, Jeonghan curled around a pillow and closed his eyes.

He woke up around midday the next day to his mother puttering around in his kitchen. He loped off to the bathroom, taking a much-needed revitalizing shower. When he emerged, his anger had returned.

He wasn’t angry with his mother or Jun for the part they’d played, though. Not even Dean Park, although he wasn’t sure he could look at him ever again without glaring. No, 100% of his ire was directed towards Minhyuk’s mother. She’d had no right. Jeonghan had always thought that she’d been waiting for them to break up but it seemed that she’d found the perfect opportunity to facilitate that.

He couldn’t deny that Minhyuk had needed help, he had, maybe even a hospital stay, but they’d been taking care of it. She hadn’t even waited to find out the extent of the situation before she’d had him institutionalized again. What the fuck kind of mother was she? And didn’t the school have some kind of obligation to Minhyuk? Respect for his rights, at least?

Jeonghan needed some answers. Someone had to take responsibility for what had happened to Minhyuk.

He started with the Dean’s office. The first time he called, the Dean spoke with him personally and basically repeated what he’d said the day before: Minhyuk’s mother was his conservator and his well-being was left to her discretion. When Jeonghan challenged Dean Park’s role in the debacle, the man blustered and attempted to defend himself, which only pissed Jeonghan off more. Before he said something that he couldn’t take back, he hung up. The second time didn’t go any better. By the third time, Dean Park’s secretary had started fielding his calls, saying that the Dean was busy or in a meeting or he’d get back to him.

Jeonghan felt helpless, which made him angry. But the angrier he got, the more helpless he felt. Minhyuk needed him and he couldn’t do shit to help him. He didn’t even know where he was. If he did, maybe he could’ve visited him or something, let him know that he wasn’t alone.

His mother did her best to soothe him but nothing she said or did made him feel any better.

The next morning, they were both summoned to the Dean’s office.

Jeonghan was filled with righteous anger when he stomped in, biting words nipping at the tip of his tongue, but all that vim and vigor dwindled to nothing when he saw who was seated across from the Dean, looking like the fucking queen she thought herself; one of her minions standing at her elbow.

“You!” he snarled. “Where is he?”

“Jeonghan,” his mother cautioned, placing a restraining hand on his arm, the same time the dean said his name, wincing at his tone.

Mrs. Lee cast him a baleful glance before focusing on the Dean. “Now that all parties are present…”

“Where is he?” Jeonghan demanded, his voice rising.

“…I’d like to thank you for your assistance,” Mrs. Lee continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “I can imagine how awkward it must have been for you to be dragged into this…unpleasantness.”

“ _Unpleasantness_ ,” Jeonghan repeated mockingly. “Is that what your son is to you?”

Jeonghan allowed himself to be pushed into a chair, his mother wisely placing herself between him and Mrs. Lee. It didn’t stop him from peering around her to glare at the woman, though.

“I hope that this donation from my husband’s foundation will suffice as our apology.” Mrs. Lee tilted her chin and the minion reached into a briefcase, pulling out a slim white envelope.

“You sold him out for _money_?” Jeonghan’s disgust couldn’t be more apparent.

Dean Park had the grace to blush, though Jeonghan’s mother settled her hand on his arm in a warning grip.

“I imagine this ordeal hasn’t exactly been easy for you either,” Mrs. Lee continued, finally deigning to acknowledge Jeonghan’s’ presence. “This should more than make up for any emotional trauma my son has caused.” Her minion reached into his briefcase and produced another envelope.

Jeonghan jumped to his feet. “I don’t want your fucking blood money, lady,” Jeonghan spat, ignoring his mother’s shocked gasp and Dean Park’s pale face. “The only thing I want from you is to know where he is.”

Mrs. Lee’s eyes narrowed fractionally but she didn’t react otherwise. “Minhyuk is getting the help he needs. From here on out, he need not concern you.”

“Of course he concerns me, he’s my boyfriend.” Jeonghan stopped, a thought finally occurring to him. “You sent him back to that place, didn’t you?” Mrs. Lee didn’t answer but he could see in her eyes that he was right. “Do you know how horrible it was for him there? How terrified and alone he was? His own parents wouldn’t even visit him.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Dean Park’s gaze swing from Jeonghan to Mrs. Lee and then down to the envelope in his eyes, as if he finally realized exactly what he’d done.

“Take the cheque.” Mrs. Lee’s words were sharp. No one had ever disrespected her like that, Jeonghan was sure. At least not to her face anyway.

“No.”

Mrs. Lee’s eyes bore into his for a moment, the two of them waging a silent war, before she dropped her gaze to his mother and reached into her bag, coming up with a cheque book. “Shall I make it out to you then, Mrs. Yoon?”

His mother glanced up at him and Jeonghan shifted his stare to her. “Don’t.” His voice was a warning, low and deadly.

“Hannie…”

“A mother knows what’s best for her child,” Mrs. Lee said agreeably, filling in the empty lines with a speedy flourish, undoubtedly accustomed to it. The sound of the cheque tearing out of the book echoed in the quiet room like a death knell.

It would be, in Jeonghan’s mind. It would be the death of him and Minhyuk and the life they’d built together. They life they’d _hoped_ to build together.

She held out the cheque to his mother, who hesitated a moment before accepting it, even saying “thank you” to the witch.

“I can’t believe you,” Jeonghan breathed, taking a step back.

“Jeonghan…”

He took an aggressive step towards Minhyuk’s mother. “Why do you hate him? He loves you so much, he’s done everything to make you proud, yet you treat him like he’s defective and act like you’re ashamed of him.”

“Your things will be returned to you shortly,” Mrs. Lee went on in clipped tones, once again ignoring Jeonghan. She turned back to the Dean. “I trust any damage to the apartment will be covered by the donation?”

Dean Park nodded quietly.

“My things?” Jeonghan repeated, finally realizing what she’d said. “What…”

And then he was out the door, his feet carrying him as quickly as they could while his mind struggled to keep up.

He kept thinking _no, no, no_ , not wanting to believe what his heart already told him was true.

It took him about five minutes but he made it, racing up the stairs and down the hall before coming to an abrupt halt in front of a familiar solid oak door.

He reached for the handle but found that he couldn’t bring himself to open it. He was afraid to because he _knew_ what he would find.

He didn’t know how long he stood there, with his hand on the gold handle that Minhyuk loved so much, before he found the courage to shift it downward and push.

Bright sunlight flowed through the un-curtained windows, setting the apartment ablaze.

The _empty_ apartment.

Heart clenching, Jeonghan stepped into the room and looked around.

Gone was the gilded, chipped mirror that they’d found in an antique shop and hung beside the front door; the rug that Minhyuk had had since freshman year that he’d spilled red wine on during one of their first dates. He’d spent a month trying to get the stain out before he’d accepted that it was impossible and shifted the coffee table to cover it.

The second-hand dining set; the lumpy sofa that he’d written most of his thesis on; the bed where Jeonghan had lost his virginity: all of it, gone.

Jeonghan bet if he dragged a finger over the kitchen counter or the floor, there wouldn’t be a speck of dust. Not a single strand of Minhyuk’s hair in the bathroom.

He’d been erased, as if he’d never existed.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update 2/3. Make sure you read Jeonghan" before reading this.

Of all the scenarios that had run through Jeonghan’s mind over the past two years, the two of them sitting awkwardly at a tiny table in an over-crowded café _not_ saying a word hadn’t been one of them.

“You look nice,” Minhyuk commented, finally breaking the silence. “I mean, you always do… _did_ , but…yeah.” He nudged his glasses up the bridge of his nose and bit at his bottom lip, something he used to do when he was nervous.

He looked… Was it possible for someone to look exactly the same yet completely foreign at the same time? If so, that was Minhyuk to a T. His eyes were the same warm brown behind his glasses, his features just as handsome and symmetrical. But that was where the similarities ended. His glasses, for one, were a lot more stylish than past Minhyuk had ever gone for. He’d preferred nondescript wire frames before but the ones he wore now were thick black with gold etchings and the _Gucci_ symbol clearly emblazoned on the side. The Minhyuk he knew would’ve never wasted money on a brand, or at least not worn one that was practically flaunting his affluence.

Secondly: his clothes. _His_ Minhyuk had been a simple guy. He’d owned three pairs of department store jeans and a handful of shirts, mostly plaid, and t-shirts. It suited his minimalist aesthetic and as a minimalist himself, Jeonghan had appreciated it. If ever there was a special occasion, like when his mother summoned him to lunch, he’d throw on something from his “reserve collection”, aka, the expensive clothing his mother foisted on him; usually elegantly casual slacks and a solid black or white shirt or turtle neck and a blazer. Today he wore jeans as well but Jeonghan knew that they cost at least $500. A similar pair was on Jun’s “vanity wish-list”: ridiculously priced things that he didn’t need but was saving up to buy anyway. Atop the jeans was a stark white polo V-neck – which Minhyuk had always said only douches wore – beneath a navy blazer with the sleeves stylishly rolled up to his elbows in perfect cuffs. A silver-gold Rolex on his wrist and comfortable Ferragamos on his feet completed his ensemble.

The most surprising thing about his look, however, was his hair. Minhyuk was blond, shockingly so.

Minhyuk had never seen Jeonghan blond since he’d gotten rid of it before entering university but he’d had told him about it and Minhyuk had laughed and teased him for letting his mother rope him into it. Minhyuk had never shown any interest in coloring his hair, in fact he’d balked at the mere suggestion of getting highlights, yet here he was.

“You look good too”, Jeonghan finally replied.

“Oh. It’s the hair, isn’t it?” Minhyuk asked with a self-deprecating laugh, a hand unconsciously rising to run through his locks. “I’m still getting used to it myself.”

“Looks nice. It suits you.”

He blushed. “Thanks. I never did get to see you with it, though.”

Silence fell between them and Minhyuk started nervously plucking at a napkin. Jeonghan knew the feeling well. His nails were digging into his thighs and he was aware of it but for the life of him he couldn’t stop. His nerves were frayed.

“I never imagined I’d run into you,” Minhyuk admitted. “I thought about it, maybe I wanted to, but I didn’t think it would happen. I didn’t know if you were still here.”

“Not for much longer,” Jeonghan supplied.

Minhyuk nodded. He opened his mouth, closed it, seemed to consider his words and then started again. “I’m glad I did. I guess it’s a bit late but I’ve wanted to apologize to you for the longest time.”

Jeonghan’s heart skipped a beat. They were really about to have _that_ conversation. “Minhyuk…”

“No, please. I need to get this out.” He took a visible breath. “I’m sorry about what happened…what I did.”

“It’s fine, really.”

Minhyuk shook his head in denial. “No, it’s not. It was reckless and selfish and I put you in danger.”

“I was never in any danger,” Jeonghan protested. “You would never have hurt me.”

“How can you say that? I practically held you hostage.”

Jeonghan would’ve rolled his eyes if it wouldn’t have been rude to Minhyuk. That sounded like something his mother would’ve said. In fact, it _was_ something his mother had said. When Jun had eventually explained what happened, he’d told Jeonghan that he’d called his mother, worried when he couldn’t get onto him. That was before he’d shown up at Minhyuk’s door the second time. His mother, paranoid as she was, had freaked, packed a bag and took a train into the city. She’d gone straight to the Dean’s office, who’d then alerted Minhyuk’s mother about the potential situation and it had all snowballed from there.

“Did you lock the door?” Jeonghan asked calmly.

Minhyuk looked at him skeptically. “No.”

“And did you try to stop me from leaving?”

“No.”

“Then how on earth did you hold me hostage? I was free to leave any time I wanted to,” Jeonghan reasoned.

“I took away your phone…”

“I knew that and I let it slide because it wasn’t important. And it wouldn’t have stopped me from leaving if I’d wanted to. But I didn’t.”

Minhyuk blushed again. “You should have.”

“Why?”

“I was a mess…acting crazy, shutting you out. What if you hadn’t gotten through to me?”

“Then I would’ve stayed until I did. For as long as it took. I promised you I wouldn’t leave and I meant it.”

“That might’ve been a while,” he mumbled. “We could’ve starved.”

“Minhyuk, we had two week’s worth of food. I could’ve easily ordered more online if needed. We would’ve been fine. Besides, I wouldn’t have let you ignore me for that long. And you would’ve told me on your own eventually. Everything would’ve worked out if…” He broke off, not wanting to say Jun’s name. He had no idea how Minhyuk felt towards Jun after what happened.

“He was worried about you,” Minhyuk said softly, catching Jeonghan’s train of thought.

“I know.”

“He probably hates me.”

“Actually, he thinks he ruined your life,” Jeonghan said wryly, a slight smile tugging at his lips. “He’s always wanted to apologize.”

“He has nothing to apologize for. He was just looking out for you.” He looked down at his fingers, still picking at a napkin. “I’m glad that you two still talk. That you have each other.”

There was an odd note in Minhyuk’s voice that had a frown forming between Jeonghan’s brows but Minhyuk continued before he could finish processing it.

“And your mother, _God_. That wasn’t how I’d hoped to meet her for the first time.” The flush in his cheeks deepened with embarrassment. “How is she?”

 _She’s the reason your mother had you locked up_ , he thought acerbically. _And you’re the reason I’m currently barely speaking to her._ Well, his mother was the sole reason for that, truthfully. He’d forgiven her part in Minhyuk’s detainment; she hadn’t known the details of the situation and she’d felt bad afterwards when she’d found out. What Jeonghan couldn’t forgive was her accepting Mrs. Lee’s money. He’d begged her not to, to tear the cheque up, but instead she’d deposited it in his trust fund and there was nothing he could do about it. That and the huge argument he’d had with his parents at the end of the summer before grad school was what had ultimately fractured their relationship.

He couldn’t tell Minhyuk that, though. There was no way that he wouldn’t blame himself and that was the last thing Jeonghan wanted.

“She’s good. Still a busy-body,” he joked.

Minhyuk smiled. “She loves you very much.”

Jeonghan smiled in return but didn’t comment.

“Actually…” Minhyuk paused, his busy fingertips finally shredding the poor napkin. “There’s something I want to tell you.”

Jeonghan’s heart stuttered in his chest and a slight chill raced up his spine. “Okay.”

“I’m glad that I get to tell you personally. To tell you the truth, I worried that you’d find out from someone else.” He stopped again and took a deep breath. “I’m getting married.”

It took a minute for the words to fully sink in and when it did, all Jeonghan could manage was, “Oh.”

“Yeah. She’s studying to be a nurse.”

 _She?_ , Jeonghan thought.

“Our families have been friends for years. Her parents own a chain of high-end salons and boutiques in Japan,” he explained. “She’s studying here but once her internship’s complete, we’ll be moving there, just in time for the wedding.”

This arrangement had Mrs. Lee stamped all over it, although Jeonghan was surprised that she was allowing him to marry a non-Korean. Minhyuk had told him about the prejudiced comments she used to make about other nationalities. Then again, if people in her circle were anything like her, they wouldn’t want to risk Minhyuk’s illness passing onto future generations. Karma really was a bitch.

“I can imagine what you think,” Minhyuk said, looking self-conscious.

“I’m not thinking anything,” Jeonghan lied. “I’m happy for you. Congratulations.” _His_ Minhyuk would never have agreed to such a thing, he would’ve fought tooth and nail for his right to live as he chose, but two years had passed and heaven knew what Minhyuk had been through. Who knew if the guy Jeonghan had known and loved even existed anymore?

“I’m actually here to collect my transcripts. I don’t know if you heard but they let me hand in my thesis late. Professor Cho helped since she’d been my advisor and it was basically completed when…you know.” He shook his shoulder lightly. “I just came from her office. She’s giving me a reference. Yumi – my fiancée – her dad’s taking me on at his company’s head-office. I figured it might be nice to have at least one reference from someone who knew me and wasn’t a friend or business partner of my parents’.”

“Ahh.” It was all very neat and tidy. Jeonghan wanted to ask him what he thought about it, what _he_ wanted, but he had a feeling that he wouldn’t get the answer he hoped.

“What about you? Are you…seeing someone?”

That brought Jeonghan up short. He didn’t know what to say. A day ago, he would’ve probably said that he was single because he’d had no desire to explain or define what he and Seungcheol had. He hadn’t thought about it at that point. After last night, though… His bad behavior at the club had forced him to think long and hard about them and what the future held.

“Something like that,” he hedged. It was the truth and a lot easier than saying _“I don’t know because I was an ass to him and he may not want anything to do with me anymore”_.

“Well I hope that it – whatever it is – works out. You deserve to be happy,” he added softly.

“Thank you.”

Out of the corner of his eyes, Jeonghan saw Sera walking towards him and then coming to a halt when she spotted Minhyuk. He’d completely forgotten about her.

“Do you…” Minhyuk cleared his throat. “Do you ever wonder what it might have been like if things hadn’t turned out the way it did?”

Jeonghan took a deep, shuddering breath. He’d wanted closure for the past two years, resentful that he’d had no say in the way it – _they_ – had ended, and he was finally getting it but this trip down memory lane was a lot more painful than he’d expected it to be.

“Sometimes, yes.”

“Do you think we…” He cut himself off, shaking his head. “Nevermind.”

Jeonghan looked at him closely, wondering what he had been about to say though he had an idea. He’d wondered the same many times.

“I just wanted to know what it felt like to be normal,” Minhyuk whispered suddenly. “You were so perfect, in every way, and I just… I wanted to be with you without anything between us. You deserved so much better than I could give you.”

“You were perfect too,” Jeonghan confessed softly his voice dropping as he added, “to me at least.”

There was sadness in the smile Minhyuk gave him then, and for a second Jeonghan saw the boy he had once known.

But then he was standing, collecting his lunch as he said, “I’d better get going. They told me to come back for my transcripts in an hour. That should be by the time I walk back.” He seemed to force himself to still, looking out the window for a second before dropping his gaze back to Jeonghan. “I’m glad that I saw you.”

Jeonghan swallowed and licked his dry lips. “Me too.”

“Take care of yourself.”

Ignoring the twinge in his heart, Jeonghan forced a smile. “Goodbye Minhyuk.”

He didn’t watch him walk away. Jeonghan wasn’t _that_ much of a masochist.

Taking a deep breath, he unclenched his stiff fingers on the exhale, his joints aching as the blood started flowing freely again.

“Hey.”

Glancing up, he saw Sera standing beside him, concern etched into her sweet face.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” He cleared his throat and got to his feet, picking up the paper bags with his food and dessert and tucking them into his bag. “I’m fine. I think I’m gonna go, though. Not really hungry anymore. Rain check?”

The pinch between her brows deepened and he could tell that she wanted to pry further but she nodded. “Sure.”

“See you later.” He grabbed his drink and headed out.

It was a bright, sunny day and ordinarily Jeonghan never traveled if he could avoid it but he was a lot more shaken by his meeting with Minhyuk than he’d initially realized so he decided to hail a taxi when he got to the gates.

He closed his eyes for a minute, pressing his forehead against the hot glass. It felt nice, _tangible_. Something that he didn’t have to think about to know it was real. It grounded him.

His phone chimed and he reached for it, already knowing who it was.

_You alive?_

Shaking his head, he typed a quick reply.

 _Yes, and I have something to tell you_.

Almost immediately, his phone began to ring. Chuckling to himself, he rejected the call and sent Jun another message.

_I’m in a taxi. Gimme 15._

There was major traffic, though, so fifteen might be more like thirty. But he didn’t bother to inform Jun.

He was just about to slip his phone back in his pocket when he remembered that there was someone else he needed to clear the air with.

Nibbling on his lip, he considered his words carefully before typing and hitting _Send_.

_I’d like to talk. Can we meet?_

Unlike with Jun, a reply didn’t come at once. In fact, his phone didn’t make any noise until he was walking up the stairs to his apartment. Stopping, he pulled his phone out, opening the message as soon as he saw who it was from.

_6:30. Bird’s Nest Café. I won’t be free before then._

_That’s fine_ , he sent back, and continued his climb to his floor.

Once inside his apartment, Jeonghan put the food away and stripped down to his underwear, flopping onto his bed. He’d only been up for a few hours but he already felt drained. A nap was definitely in order.

But first…

Reaching for his phone, which he’d dropped next to him, he initiated a video call and waited for Jun to pick up.

“Is this your way of inviting me over?” Jun asked upon answering. “Because you know…”

Rolling his eyes, Jeonghan aimed the phone squarely at his face so that Jun couldn’t see the rest of him. “In your dreams.”

“You forget, I _have_ been there and I _did_ do that,” Jun pointed out. Jeonghan couldn’t make out where he was but there was a lot of background noise. “So what did you have to tell me?”

“I ran into Minhyuk, at the café.”

Jun’s eyes widened in surprise. “You’re shitting me.”

Jeonghan shook his head. “Nope.”

“Wow… That’s not at all what I was expecting.” Jun seemed unusually somber as he asked, “How is he?”

Jeonghan thought it over for a moment, not really sure how to describe the person he’d met that day. “Different.”

He gave Jun a brief run-down of the goings on in Minhyuk’s life. When he was done, Jun looked shell-shocked.

“That poor guy. Did you tell him I was sorry?”

“Yeah. He doesn’t blame you, though. Doesn’t blame anyone but himself.”

“It wasn’t his fault.”

Jeonghan nodded. “That’s what I told him but…” He shrugged.

“Well…at least he’s doing well.”

“Yeah.”

A moment of silence passed between them, each experiencing their own kind of regret.

Jun was the one to shake the mood off first. “So have you talked to your Sugar Daddy?”

“Don’t call him that, and yes. We’re meeting up later.”

“For sex?” Jun queried, suddenly very interested.

“To _talk_ ,” Jeonghan corrected with a scowl.

Jun shrugged shamelessly. “It wouldn’t hurt you to offer that ass up. You were a very bad boy, after all.”

Jeonghan rolled his eyes and sighed. “Goodbye Jun.”

“Call me!” he managed to get in, just before Jeonghan hung up on him.

Jeonghan smiled to himself as he dropped the phone on the bed beside him and rolled over onto his side, already curling up around his favourite pillow. A dose of Jun always did the body good.

He felt better than he had when he first got home, maybe even a little hopeful.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life went to s**t shortly after the last update and stayed that way for a while but things have finally settled. Hopefully it stays that way long enough for me to finish this thing. Not that many more chapters to go so...*sends positives vibes into the universe*

 

* * *

 

 

Jeonghan had never been to the _Bird’s Nest Café_ – had never heard of it before, to be honest – so he took a taxi to his meeting with Seungcheol.

When he’d awakened from his nap, he’d taken another shower to help calm the nerves he could feel beginning to stir in his belly. Jun often teased him about wasting water – and _he_ was one to talk with his hour-long baths – but there was just something calming and refreshing about standing under a shower spray, letting the water wash away whatever plagued him.

Afterwards, he faced the “elephant” that had been residing in his living room for weeks: the bag of clothes Seungcheol had given him. He hadn’t touched it since he’d brought it home and set it down on his armchair. At the time, he’d been unsure of what it meant; what it potentially symbolized. He hadn’t wanted to be _owned_ or _branded_ by Seungcheol – it was enough that Seungcheol footed the bill for all of their “dates” – and he’d been wary of the message it would send. Wearing them meant that he’d fully accepted Seungcheol’s affections; that it in fact wasn’t _just_ sex between them. But maybe he’d been worrying for nothing. After all, Seungcheol had never acted possessive or controlling towards him before the club incident the night prior and Jeonghan had given him reason for that.

In a way, he supposed as he brought the bag of clothes over to the sofa, relationships were just like sex. Jun had told him that his inexperience in the bedroom was the reason he lacked versatility there. He’d only ever been with one person, pre-Jun, and had thus become used to things being a certain way. The more people he slept with, the more experienced he became, the more his sexual horizons would expand. And that had proven to be true since his sex life with Seungcheol was nothing like the one he’d had with Minhyuk, or Jun for that matter. So relationships, like sex, required adapting to people and situations as they unfolded; opening oneself up to another person and allowing oneself to be vulnerable. He’d learned a lot about Seungcheol through the past few months but Jeonghan had always kept him at arm’s length, not really talking about himself in depth or considering any possible feelings he may or may not have for the man he was sleeping with.

But the time had come to stop hiding from the truth. He liked Seungcheol and, scary as it might be, he wanted to see where this thing between them could go. It was time that Jeonghan let him know that.

Deciding on a simple black tee and a pair of jeans, Jeonghan headed to his bedroom to dress. He hoped that Seungcheol recognized the clothes and what his intention was by wearing it.

 

As he approached the steps leading to the front door of the café, Jeonghan paused to take a deep, calming breath.

He’d chatted with Jun most of the way over, keeping himself distracted during the hour-long ride, but now that he was there the butterflies in his stomach had returned. He wouldn’t allow himself to think about what could go wrong or even what outcome he wanted. He was just going to go in there and be honest with Seungcheol and let the cards fall wherever they may.

Taking another deep breath, he climbed the short flight of steps to the door, pulling his jacket closer around him. The jacket that, like the rest of his ensemble, Seungcheol had bought him. He’d been on his way out and reaching for his usual one when he’d remembered it, turning to see it lying on the couch beside the rest of the clothes he’d upended from the bag. Seungcheol might not recognize the basic black tee and the jeans but there was no way he could forget the leather jacket, or so Jeonghan hoped. If that wasn’t a declaration, he didn’t know what was.

As Jeonghan pushed in the door and stepped into the café, his eyes went straight to Seungcheol. Jeonghan was on time, five minutes early in fact, but he wasn’t surprised to see that Seungcheol had beaten him there.

He waved off the approaching waitress and slowly made his way over to where Seungcheol sat at a table by the window.

“Hey.” The most generic of greetings but short of falling to his knees and begging for forgiveness, it would have to do.

“Hey,” Seungcheol returned. He didn’t look unwelcoming but he didn’t smile either. His face was just impassive. Jeonghan’s stomach turned at the sight of it. He’d become so accustomed to Seungcheol’s expressiveness that seeing him like this made him feel even guiltier.

He slid into the seat across from Seungcheol, his nails digging into his palms as he fought his nerves.

Seungcheol was drinking coffee and he gestured to his cup in offering but Jeonghan declined. He couldn’t eat or drink a thing before this was over. His stomach simply wouldn’t allow it.

“I wasn’t sure you’d come,” he admitted softly. It wasn’t exactly true. Seungcheol was a man of his word so if he said he’d be there, he’d be there. Jeonghan just wasn’t sure _why_ he’d want to after the way he’d treated him.

“Of course.”

 They sat in silence for a minute, Seungcheol watching Jeonghan closely but wordlessly and Jeonghan trying to figure out where to begin and what to say, before it started to wear on his nerves.

“Look, I just wanted to say… I have to apologize for my behaviour last night. I was out of line and you didn’t deserve that. I was just…dealing with some things and I guess I took it out on you.” He paused to take a breath, steadying himself as he focused on Seungcheol. “It’s not right and I’m not trying to make excuses but you deserve an explanation.”

Seungcheol continued to look at him for several loud, ticking seconds and it was all Jeonghan could do to fight the urge to squirm. He forced himself to keep his eyes trained on Seungcheol and not look at where his hand cradled the coffee mug, his thumb stroking back and forth across the rim.

“Are you okay now?” Seungcheol finally asked, surprising Jeonghan both with the sudden sound of his voice and the question. After the way he’d acted, the last thing he expected from Seungcheol was concern.

“Yeah, I’m…I’m good.” He paused, tempted to leave it there but knowing that it was time he bared his soul a little. “My mother called last night, at the beginning of my shift. We haven’t spoken in a while so I was surprised but happy to hear from her, you know? Everything was fine until she brought up…my ex and what had happened and her whole attitude towards me being gay. I got off the phone as quickly as I could but I guess my night was ruined after that.” He smiled slightly but he knew that it didn’t reach his eyes. “Coincidentally, I ran into him today. We haven’t seen each other since everything went down two years ago.”

Jeonghan half hoped that Seungcheol would be satisfied with that, would just accept that he’d acted shitty because he’d felt shitty, but after months of evading Seungcheol’s questions about himself or only giving the briefest, least personal snippets of information, Jeonghan wasn’t surprised when he asked what had happened.

So he told him.

He told him everything about Minhyuk, their relationship, and the nasty, unfortunate way it had all come crashing down.

“For two years, I’ve wanted closure,” he said when it was all out. “Or at least I thought I did. It had ended so abruptly, without us having any say in the matter, and it just felt…incomplete somehow. Like there needed to be a final act of sorts. I’ve spent two years wondering how he was, what it would be like if we met again. And then we did today and I felt…I don’t know, honestly. Now I’m just like _“what the fuck is closure, anyway?”_. I was so sure that seeing him again would resolve all the anger and hurt but it didn’t feel like a door had finally closed, nothing like that. I just felt sad for him. Regardless of what happened, my life went on and his did too but he isn’t the guy I used to know. It felt familiar but also like meeting him for the first time. The guy I used to know would never have given in to his mother like that. Not so completely.”

Seungcheol considered his words for a minute before he said, “Maybe he adapted.”

Jeonghan’s brows furrowed slightly in question so Seungcheol continued.

“He’d been resisting her his whole life, right? And where did it get him? Maybe he just got tired of fighting.  Maybe he realized that it was better to give her what she wanted and try to find some way to make it work for him.”

Jeonghan hadn’t thought of it that way and he could understand where Seungcheol was coming from but Minhyuk being forced to marry someone of his mother’s choosing, a _woman_ , just didn’t sit right with him.

“Unfortunately, not everyone is at liberty to live the life they’d like to,” Seungcheol said gently. “Did he seem unhappy?”

Jeonghan shook his head. “No. He looked…content. A bit insecure of what I’d think of him but healthy and happy otherwise.”

Seungcheol nodded. “Then that’s going to have to do. Closure is something only you can give yourself. Trust me.”

Jeonghan thought about Seungcheol’s mother and what he’d endured at home; how he’d had to walk away, leaving her and Chan behind. It couldn’t have been easy but he’d done it because he’d had no choice. Just like Jeonghan now had to leave Minhyuk where he belonged: in the past.

“I think I always knew that it wouldn’t make a difference,” he admitted. “We can’t turn back time. What happened _happened_. Neither of us is the same person we were back then and that’s fine, I suppose. It isn’t even really about him. He’s a sensitive subject, sure, but my mother… I guess I never got over her accepting the money, among other things. If we’d been poor…if we’d needed it, _maybe_ I could’ve understood. But that was not the case.”

“What did she do with it?” Seungcheol asked.

“She deposited it in my trust fund.” At Seungcheol’s raised eyebrows, Jeonghan clarified, “Don’t get the wrong idea, we’re not rich or anything. Very comfortable, definitely, but nowhere near Minhyuk’s family’s level. My grandparents had some money that they left to all the grandchildren. My parents have added to it over the years and it’s grown nicely. I’m okay with being a trust fund baby, as Jun puts it. But now…after what she did, it feels tainted somehow. Like that evil witch’s bribe is corrupting what my family lovingly gave me.”

The corner of Seungcheol’s lips quirked in a smile but he didn’t say anything.

Jeonghan knew how ridiculous he sounded, and he felt equally ridiculous, but he also felt betrayed by his mother’s actions.

“There was more to it, wasn’t there?” Seungcheol pressed. “You mentioned a fight?”

Jeonghan sighed. “After _the incident_ , I finished out the semester then went home for the summer. The graduation ceremony wasn’t until October and my parents wanted me close. Truth be told, I didn’t really want to stay in Seoul by myself. Jun had gone back to China with his family so he wouldn’t be around either. I got over what she did, as time passed. I was less resentful and started speaking to her again but when they found out that I had applied for the graduate program and been accepted, things got tense. They wanted me to stay home and home was the last place I wanted to be long term. I know that they were just worried about me, I get that I truly do, but my mother seems to have convinced herself that so long as I stay in Seoul, something bad is going to happen to me. _That boy_ , as she refers to Minhyuk, already did. She’s got this idea in her mind that I was truly in danger and that if I don’t stay where they can keep an eye on me, I’m going to end up hurt or abused or heaven knows. God only knows what she’d say if she knew I’d been attacked leaving work.

They even suggested hooking me up with daughters of their friends and that was the final straw. I explained to my mother, as patiently as possible, that my being gay wasn’t going to get me killed. I’m not the “girl” in the relationship, as she seems inclined to think. I can take care of myself. She was the one who dragged me to self-defense classes in the first place. She knows what I’m capable of. And while I respect her concern and even accept that we’ll never see eye-to-eye on what happened with Minhyuk, I can’t change my sexuality and she needs to accept that. But she couldn’t. Or won’t. And then – I don’t think she meant to say it but my mother never backs down even when she knows that she’s wrong – she said that if I left, they’d cut me off. I don’t know if my dad even knew about it in advance or if he just went along with it because he wanted me to stay – he’d been hinting at getting me a position in the family company – but he just stood there and didn’t say anything while she made her ultimatum. I am very much my mother’s son, stubborn to the bone. She should’ve known that backing me into a corner was the wrong thing to do.

That same day, I packed my things and left.”

“You haven’t been back since?” Seungcheol queried.

Jeonghan shook his head, deep-seated longing tearing at his heart. “When I first went back to Seoul, my phone rang nonstop. My entire family kept calling to tell me what a terrible son I was. That just pissed me off even more, until I blocked them all. But by the time Christmas rolled around, I had calmed down quite a bit and couldn’t ignore how much I missed them. Christmas has always been a special time of year for us, the entire family gets together at my grandparents’ house – my uncle and his family live there now – and I hoped that maybe they were missing me too. I mean, they’d already missed my graduation, something they had been looking forward to more than I was, but being apart for Christmas? Unfathomable. So I gave in and called but it was pretty clear from the moment mom answered that she hadn’t thawed. It was still either her way or the highway and I wasn’t about to give in.

We’ve talked since then, each of us reaching out to see if the other had come to their senses, but it’s always her trying to convince me to give up my _heathen lifestyle_ and come home and me getting annoyed with her ignorance. Almost two years have passed since I’ve been home. I’ve missed two Christmases; haven’t seen any of my cousins. Things have been going good lately so I guess when she called last night, I was happy. I thought maybe she’d finally come around but…” He shrugged. “No such luck.”

“I’m sorry.”

Jeonghan shrugged again. “It is what it is. Though in hindsight, I don’t know what I would have done if Jun hadn’t gotten me the job at the bar.”

“You’ve survived long enough without anyone’s help. I’m sure you would’ve found a way.”

Jeonghan felt a blush suffuse his cheeks at the compliment.

“Actually – and trust me when I say that the irony does not escape me – I have Minhyuk’s mother to thank for that. Partly, anyway.” At Seungcheol’s raised brow, Jeonghan explained, “When Minhyuk and I were squirreling away money for our trip, we knew that we couldn’t use any of his accounts because his mother was undoubtedly monitoring those. She would’ve gotten suspicious if there’d been any irregular activity. So we decided to move his funds into mine. He didn’t spend much, just the basics, but he increased his “output” a little more in the months leading up to graduation, making sure to throw in an expensive shirt or sweater here and there that he wore when he met her for lunch. Minhyuk was very smart that way,” Jeonghan added with a soft smile. “Anyway, after the dust settled, the money in that account, mine and his – his _mother’s_ – was all I had. It was enough to support me for a while but I couldn’t just ignore where the money had come from so I’ve been making small donations to a nursing facility where he used to volunteer. I’m not as…giving of myself as he was but I felt like that was one way I could honor him. His memory, I guess you could say. I know he’s not dead but it feels that way sometimes, even more so after today.”

Silence fell between them and Jeonghan wasn’t sure what it meant. Was Seungcheol processing everything he’d said? Waiting for Jeonghan to say more? He felt like he’d spent the entire time so far talking about his ex, although that hadn’t been his intention.

“This is new to me,” he admitted quietly. “ _Us_. I’ve only ever been with one person and that was nothing like this.”

“And Jun?”

For a split-second, Jeonghan was confused. Then understanding dawned and his cheeks heated up again.

Apparently Seungcheol was a _lot_ more observant than he’d previously given him credit for.

“That’s…nothing. Nothing serious, I mean. One night, about a year ago, we were drunk, just back from a party and we were both in our doldrums. I was still getting over Minhyuk and he had just broken up with his flavor of the week. Inebriation doesn’t always lead to smart decisions but we figured so long as we weren’t committed to anyone else and we kept things casual, always put our friendship first, it’d be fine.” He paused, locking onto Seungcheol’s eyes with his serious ones. “That’s over now. There hasn’t been anything since you and I…” He trailed off but he could see that Seungcheol understood what he meant.

“If you’re having a tough time or a bad day, whatever it is…talk to me. Don’t shut me out,” Seungcheol murmured. “Let me be there for you.”

Jeonghan swallowed thickly, nodding. “Okay.”

He wanted to reach across the table and take Seungcheol’s hand, initiate some kind of contact between them, but his fingers had locked into position as he dug them into his palms and were now cramping as he uncurled them.

“This is also a B&B,” Seungcheol said suddenly, as casual as if he were commenting on the weather or the fact that the sun had gone down. “There are rooms in the back. They’re quite nice.”

Once more, it took Jeonghan’s brain a couple of seconds to follow but when he did, he smiled shyly and nodded again. Perhaps Seungcheol had the same idea about kissing, now that they’d made up.

He stood and followed Seungcheol through the café and out a door at the back, down a small alley of sorts to a clean, white door. Somehow, he wasn’t surprised when Seungcheol produced a key and unlocked the door. He was always prepared, wasn’t he?

The room was simple and neat. It lacked the opulence of their usual hotel romp but there was a warm, earthy feel to the yellow walls and polished, wooden bed frame of the queen sized bed. Opposite the bed was a large TV on a stand and a few feet from the bed was an armchair. A closed, white door in the corner led to the bathroom, he assumed.

Seungcheol stopped beside the armchair, shrugged off his jacket and began unbuttoning his shirt.

That alone was enough to have Jeonghan thinking that that something wasn’t quite right.

Seungcheol almost always kissed Jeonghan senseless and got him undressed first before discarding his own clothes. Yet, once his shirt was off, he started on his pants and kept his back to Jeonghan the entire time.

Ignoring the warning bells in his head, Jeonghan followed suit: removing his leather jacket and T-shirt before moving onto his shoes and jeans.

When he was naked, he turned to look at Seungcheol and was surprised to find him already fully hard; cock sheathed in a condom and slick and shiny with lube.

Seungcheol walked towards him with purpose then, knocking the wind out of Jeonghan when he suddenly grasped his shoulders and pushed him down onto the bed.

He was just catching his breath when Seungcheol’s body settled between his parted thighs, slick fingers pushing into his entrance.

Jeonghan gasped at the suddenness of the invasion, followed by a sharp wince. Seungcheol’s fingers were fast and rough; _too_ fast and rough.

He wanted to tell him to stop, to take it slow, but before he could utter a sound, Seungcheol’s tongue was in his mouth, just as hard and fast as his fingers.

Under normal circumstances, and that definitely included foreplay, Jeonghan had no problem with leaving romance at the door and letting their bodies take over. Sometimes, you were just in the mood for a good fucking. However, after the emotions of the past twenty-four hours and the heart-to-heart they’d just shared, it was hard for him to get on board with _whatever_ was happening. This was not at all what he’d had in mind when he’d been thinking of physical intimacy between them.

And Seungcheol…he definitely was not himself.

No sooner had the thought crossed his mind than Seungcheol’s fingers slipped out of him and his cock pushed in.

Jeonghan cried out as a sharp pain arced through him, but the sound was swallowed by Seungcheol’s still plundering tongue in his mouth.

It was hard to made sense of the situation, harder still to think when his body was so confused. He could perhaps enjoy this if Seungcheol didn’t feel so far away. It certainly wasn’t the first time that their coupling had been less than ideal. But although he could feel Seungcheol along every inch of his body and inside him, he was so far out of reach.

It was over faster than any other encounter they’d ever had. Seungcheol’s mouth finally freed his, allowing him to gulp deep lungfuls of air into his starved lungs, and latched onto his neck while he thrust hard two, three times before his body went still. A minute later he reached between their bodies, almost as an afterthought, and gripped Jeonghan’s own flagging erection in a tight fist, pumping him furiously until he came with a strangled cry. It was the worst orgasm he’d ever had.

Without a word, a touch or even eye contact, Seungcheol rolled off of him and strolled into the bathroom. He emerged with a damp hand-towel, wiping himself quickly before tossing it to Jeonghan where he still lay on the bed catching his breath.

“Get dressed,” he said, though it sounded more like an order. “I want to show you something.”

Jeonghan of six months ago would’ve told him to go fuck himself and gone home. Hell, Jeonghan of six months ago would’ve kneed him in the balls the minute he started getting handsy.

Jeonghan of today was grappling with guilt and too many mixed emotions to do anything but wipe himself hastily and roll to his feet, wincing at the soreness he felt in his ass. It was probably going to be worse the next day.

He dressed as quickly as his aching body would allow, feeling Seungcheol’s intense gaze on the back of his neck as he did so. Seungcheol had long finished dressing but he hadn’t said a word.

They were out and in the car five minutes later.

Jeonghan rested his head against the window, watching the city pass idly by. Seungcheol had turned on the radio, as if to fill the silence between them, for which Jeonghan was grateful. He didn’t think he could bear to look at him, much less talk.

His mind must have drifted because he wasn’t aware of how long they’d been driving until they exited the city limits.

He threw a sharp look at Seungcheol out of the corner of his eye, a strange sensation – fear of the unknown, perhaps? – settling in his gut.

It was a testament to the trust that he’d unknowingly fostered in Seungcheol over the past few months that he wasn’t worried about being this far away from home with him, even after what had passed between them at the B&B.

It was another hour or so before they started climbing a hill. Jeonghan wasn’t even aware that there were any significant mountains surrounding Seoul. He’d always thought of it as uninterestingly flat.

The road to the top was winding but eventually tapered off into little more than a straight dirt path. Seungcheol’s BMW was not made for that kind of off-roading but Jeonghan got the impression that this wasn’t the first time he’d made the trip.

At the top, if one could call it that, Seungcheol came to a stop at the edge of a copse of trees. Jeonghan didn’t know what he’d expected, some kind of lookout spot perhaps, but he wasn’t prepared to go venturing into any kind of wood.

And yet, there Seungcheol was wordlessly swinging out of the car, leaving it up to Jeonghan to decide whether he wanted to follow him or not.

Of course he did.

He was surprised to find, when he got to the edge, that the thicket of trees wasn’t as dark as it had looked from the car. The moon was now high overhead and provided significant lighting to guide him through the 3-4 tree deep wood. On the other side was the lookout he’d expected; the city lights twinkling beyond.

 _It would’ve been nice if there was a safety rail_ , he thought grumpily, though he figured he was safe so long as he stayed away from the edge. Seungcheol might not know it about him yet but he wasn’t overly fond of heights.

He stayed back, hands deep in his pockets and chin tucked into the neckline of his jacket. It was a lot chillier that high up, now that they’d left the smog and over-crowding of Seoul behind.

Seungcheol continued towards the edge, stopping a few feet away.

Jeonghan wanted to ask what they were doing there but it was obvious that something was going on with Seungcheol – _within_ Seungcheol – that he needed time to sort through.

Whatever had just passed between them, however much it hurt him physically and emotionally, Jeonghan still cared about him. He still wanted to make this work.

They stood there in silence for at least five minutes by Jeonghan’s estimation. His nose was starting to run and he was shifting from one foot to the next to generate some warmth when Seungcheol finally spoke.

“When I first came to Seoul, I drove up here and I decided that one day I would have my own place in the tallest, most expensive apartment building in the city.” He pointed at one of the many lighted buildings dotting the landscape. “That one.”

From that distance, Jeonghan could barely differentiate one light from the next but he thought he saw one that stood out, which he supposed had something to do with its height.

“Why haven’t you?” he asked softly, almost not wanting to say anything so as not to intrude on Seungcheol’s thoughts.

He also wasn’t going to insult either one of them by pretending that Seungcheol could not afford his heart’s desire. He didn’t know how wealthy Seungcheol was but he was pretty sure that he’d reached his goal some time ago. And yet, he’d denied himself his reward.

Seungcheol shrugged. “Just never seemed like the right time. First, Boss died and it took a while to settle things. Who took over what; how this or that was divided. Then I had to settle the others, make sure they were taken care of. Then Chan came. I just…” He shrugged again.

Fear, Jeonghan concluded. He could tell, and suspected that Seungcheol knew, that everything he’d said was just an excuse. Maybe he didn’t think he deserved to have his happily ever after. Maybe he was afraid that if he’d reached his ultimate goal, there was nothing left to strive for. Whatever the reason, Jeonghan was positive that it was rooted in fear.

“I’m sure Chan would love it,” he said, setting aside his thoughts. “Having his own room; a real home.”

“Maybe…”

Silence.

Jeonghan bore down and waited. This wasn’t about him. It stopped being about him the minute they walked into the room at the B&B. Whatever demons Seungcheol was battling, only he could extinguish them.

Turning around, Seungcheol finally looked at him for what felt like the first time in hours.

“I’m sorry,” he began. “About back there. What I did.”

“It’s okay,” Jeonghan started to say. For as much as Jun accused him of being a bitch, Jeonghan wasn’t one to hold grudges. _“Sorry”_ almost always automatically deflated whatever anger, hurt or irritation he felt.

Seungcheol shook his head. “No. It’s not.” He took a few steps towards Jeonghan before coming to a halt. Jeonghan could see his face better now and it looked nothing short of anguished. “What I feel for you…is intense. I’ve never felt like this before and I don’t always know what to do with it. I try to control it because I don’t want to scare you off or hurt you but somehow I always end up doing that anyway.”

It was Jeonghan’s turn to shake his head. “You didn’t…”

“No,” Seungcheol cut him off. “I did. You know I did. Don’t make excuses for me. It wasn’t right and I hated myself the entire time. I just…couldn’t stop. I want you so much, in every way, and I just wanted you to feel the same so badly that it’s like…I don’t know. I thought I could force you to feel it too.”

“I do,” Jeonghan assured him. He closed the distance between them, cupping Seungcheol’s face between his palms as he gazed into his tortured, dark eyes. “I do. I should have said so sooner. I never meant to keep you at arm’s length, it’s just been my default for such a long time. And last night, those things I said: I didn’t mean any of it. Maybe it was just sex in the beginning but it hasn’t been that for a long time. But I was hurting and miserable and I wanted someone to feel the same way I was. It wasn’t fair to you and I’m sorry for that.”

“It still doesn’t excuse what I did.”

“No, it doesn’t,” Jeonghan agreed. “And you’re right, you did hurt me. But I understand it. And we both know that if I’d really wanted to push you away, I would have. And you would have let me.”

Seungcheol started to shake his head again but Jeonghan held him still.

“Yes, you would have. I trust you, Seungcheol. That’s not something I do easily. But I know that you would never hurt me intentionally. If I’d told you not to touch me, you wouldn’t have. You would sooner hurt yourself than hurt me on purpose.”

Seungcheol took a deep, shuddering breath. Jeonghan felt it as deeply as if it had passed through his own body.

“I like you,” Jeonghan continued softly. “And I want to be with you and I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you that sooner. But I promise to be more open from here on out. Instead of just being a dick, I promise to tell you _why_ I’m being a dick up front.”

Seungcheol’s laugh was a little watery, his eyes shining extra brightly. “Okay.”

Jeonghan stroked his cheek with the pad of his thumb before leaning forward and pressing a brief, tender kiss to Seungcheol’s lips to seal their “deal”.

Seungcheol slid his arms around Jeonghan’s waist, pulling him in close, and Jeonghan let himself be held; running his hands in soothing strokes up and down Seungcheol’s back.

 _This_ was what he’d wanted earlier, what he’d hoped for and expected when he’d agreed to go to the room with Seungcheol. It felt even better now, knowing that there was nothing left unsaid between them.

Alas, it couldn’t last forever and it was the cold that ultimately drove them back to the car.

It was all well and good while they were pressed against each other but the minute they separated, Jeonghan started swearing at the sudden cold and Seungcheol, laughing, took his hand and led him back to the car.

As they broke through the woods, Seungcheol dropped his hand and turned to face him.

“Thanks for coming with me. I’ve never brought anyone up here before.”

Jeonghan blinked in surprise. “Not even Jihoon?”

Seungcheol shook his head.

_Wow, that was…wow._

“Well…it’s not like I had a choice,” Jeonghan teased, ignoring his pitter-pattering heart. “But I’m glad that you did. So thank _you_.”

This time, Seungcheol kissed _him_ and although it started sweet, a physical exchange of mutual gratitude, it wasn’t long before it became much more.

Now _this_ … this was the Seungcheol that Jeonghan knew. The guy who got him hot and bothered with little more than a look, even though he’d never said it aloud or even admitted it to himself. The guy who drove him crazy and made his toes curl in a way that no one, not Minhyuk or Jun, ever had before. The guy who couldn’t keep his hands off of him and didn’t mind that Jeonghan was “lazy” in bed because seeing to Jeonghan’s pleasure was as rewarding as reaching his own.

This was _his_ Seungcheol.

When he felt Seungcheol’s hands drop to the button of his jeans, Jeonghan tore his now-swollen lips away.

Eyes wide with incredulity, he declared, “You can’t be serious.”

Seungcheol had the audacity to look completely innocent. “Why not?”

Jeonghan blustered, looking around pointedly.

“No one comes up here,” Seungcheol said reasonably.

“I wonder why! But it’s not just humans. There might be animals of some sort lurking about.”

“We haven’t encountered any so far,” Seungcheol dismissed.

 _True_ , but still…

“I hurt you before,” Seungcheol said, tone suddenly serious.

Taken aback by the change, Jeonghan once again rushed to soothe. “You didn’t.” Although…hadn’t he said so himself a few minutes ago?

“I did,” Seungcheol admitted firmly. “And I want to make it up to you.”

Jeonghan glanced around again. It was pretty still and quiet; nothing but the barely-there breeze moving through the trees. And they hadn’t seen or heard a peep from non-human critters.

_But still…_

“Can we at least go in the car?” he proposed hopefully.

Seungcheol grinned rakishly. “Where’s the fun in that?”

Jeonghan’s sigh must have signaled his defeat because no sooner was the sound out his mouth than Seungcheol was on him again.

Seungcheol backed him towards the car as they kissed wildly and Jeonghan just prayed not to trip.

When his butt hit the bumper, Seungcheol bent him back over the hood and started kissing his way down his neck, one hand tugging up his t-shirt while the other undid his jeans.

Truth be told, Jeonghan had had a long-standing fantasy about having sex outdoors. In his mind, he’d been in an abandoned parking lot or something of the like, spread out on the hood, much like he was now. There’d been the excitement and thrill of getting caught but the safety of knowing that it was unlikely.

This was, perhaps, even better. They were still in public but it was like their own private space. The moon was high overhead in the star-dotted sky, casting its silvery glow down upon them and the car, while the trees surrounded them, voyeurs and protectors at the same time. There was something magical about it.

Their very own Wonderland.

“I want you so bad.”

Through the fog of his lust, Jeonghan felt a moment’s hesitation when Seungcheol pushed his pants and underwear down.

He was totally on board and he wanted nothing more than to erase the memory of their last encounter and replace it with their usual warm passion but he hadn’t forgotten the condition of his body. Even now, just shifting against the bonnet, he could feel little twinges of pain.

The last thing he wanted was to put an end to this, and he craved the feel of Seungcheol snug and tight inside him like he craved sleep at the end of a long day, but at the same time his body had its limitations and he usually respected them.

He was still weighing the pros and cons when Seungcheol nudged him over onto his stomach. There was barely a second between re-settling onto the hood and Seungcheol’s warm hands gripping his cheeks and pulling them apart.

A loud moan tore from his throat at the first swipe of Seungcheol’s tongue, his body melting onto the smooth, warm surface of the car, and when Seungcheol did it again, and again, Jeonghan closed his eyes, lips parted as more sounds of contentment slipped through them, and thought, _“Fuck it.”_


	14. Chapter 14

 

Jeonghan was happy.

It wasn’t like he’d never experienced happiness before. Despite how fractured his relationship with his parents might be, he would never deny that he’d had a great childhood. And despite everything that had happened during the past couple of years, his life had still been good. He’d excelled in school; he’d had friends and, most importantly, Jun, whose family had welcomed him as if he was one of them. It hadn’t quite made up for losing his own but it had helped.

But he hadn’t been this _kind_ of happy in a long time. It felt cliché to say that something had been missing but perhaps, unbeknownst to him, it had because he honestly couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt this content and, dare he say, complete.

After he and Seungcheol laid themselves bare on the cliff – and their subsequent multiple make-up sessions – everything seemed to click into place. The next time Jeonghan walked into the loft, it was like he was seeing it and everyone in it with new eyes. He’d realized that although he’d been coming there for months, he didn’t really _know_ Seungcheol’s people. Sure, he knew their names and had an idea about their personalities but he’d never really sat down and had a conversation with any of them, not even Mingyu and Wonwoo: the two he spent the most time with.

He’d decided that it was time to rectify that.

The first thing he’d done was convince Seungcheol to organize a group dinner. If he was going to be a part of Seungcheol’s life then he needed to get to know his men and vice versa, he’d reasoned. Seungcheol had agreed.

The dinner had been awkward at first. Seungcheol had rented a private room in a fancy membership club – not the last one he’d taken Jeonghan to, thank God – and they’d all sat around a huge circular table, staring at each other.

Initially, Jeonghan thought that some of them weren’t on board. Maybe they didn’t like him and would’ve preferred to be anywhere else but cozying up to their boss’ current bed partner. After a while, it became clear that Seungcheol had never done anything like that before. It was awkward because _they_ were awkward. Jeonghan had forgotten that they were all young men who hadn’t been dealt the best cards at life. Sure, they were used to hanging out at the loft and they dressed nice, becoming of their positions, but socializing in public and at a posh locale to boot? Had Jeonghan known, he would’ve had Seungcheol cater some food at the loft where they would’ve been more comfortable.

But they were already there so it was too late for that. He’d needed to make the best of it somehow.

Ordinarily, Jeonghan was never the one to initiate conversation, being quite content to observe and listen and only input when requested to do so, but he’d stepped outside his own comfort zone and done just that. It had taken some poking and prodding to get them to thaw but with Seungcheol’s help, he’d eventually gotten them talking. In the end, he’d felt very accomplished. He’d gotten to know more about the guys and they’d gotten to know him better too. He’d been surprised to realize just how many questions they’d been dying to ask. He hadn’t realized that they’d been as curious about him as he’d been about them.

The only ones who hadn’t really warmed up were Seungkwan and Jihoon.

Every time Seungkwan opened his mouth, something “sassy” or downright insulting came out. The others chided him for his rudeness but that only seemed to make it worse. Eventually Jeonghan just started ignoring him. He would purposely skip over him if passing a dish and would speak to the person beside him but never to him. It worked, as Seungkwan slipped into a petulant pout and stayed that way for the rest of the night.

As for Jihoon…he wasn’t unfriendly, per se, just distant. He didn’t say much but that seemed to be the norm because even at the loft, he rarely spoke. His eyes though… He might not be very vocal but Jeonghan got the impression that he was watching him like a hawk. He doubted those eyes missed a thing. It was a bit unnerving, truth be told.

After that, group outings become a regular occurrence. It was more often than not a movie night with food afterwards. They’d left Chan out of the first group meal, just in case things didn’t play out as hoped, but he was a permanent presence after that. The change Jeonghan saw in Chan was amazing. The more they went out, the more he seemed to blossom. It made him realize just how stifled Chan had been locked up in the loft. He never said anything to Seungcheol, not wanting to hurt his feelings. He was just glad to be able to make a difference.

He did notice that on those nights, after the first time, someone was always missing, staying back remaining at the loft. Jeonghan still didn’t know what Seungcheol was involved in – just how illegal his group’s activities were – but the fact that Seungcheol was an open book in every facet of his life but that made him think that being in the dark was probably for his own good, which he genuinely appreciated.

Everything had been going well, perhaps _too_ well, so _of course_ the universe had to intervene and remind him that perfection was _not_ in fact a thing that existed.

He’d finally decided to submit his thesis, having acknowledged that rephrasing little things here and there while leaving the bulk of it alone was only serving to torment him. He knew that it was good. There was no need to wait any longer.

He’d gone in to see Professor Cho, his advisor and kinda-sorta friend after the whole Minhyuk debacle, and sat there waiting patiently while she muttered on about this and that. She could be a very unfocused and scatter-brained woman at times but Jeonghan was used to it. He knew that beneath the chaos she was whip-smart and one of the best in her field.

“So are you sure you’re done this time?” she’d asked, suddenly paying attention to him. “You aren’t going to put it in my hand and take it back immediately again are you?”

Jeonghan had refused to blush at the reminder of a previously failed attempt. “No. I’m ready.”

She’d nodded absently, turning to her laptop. “Well, let me just pull up your profile and make sure that everything’s in order. Don’t forget to send me the electronic copy later, okay?”

“Will do.”

It became obvious after a few minutes of her clicking away that something was wrong. Her brow went from smooth and unconcerned to furrowed, her eyes behind her glasses narrowing.

“We may have a bit of a problem,” she’d finally said. To herself, she muttered a little too loudly, “What the hell is this?”

“A problem?” he’d echoed.

“Well…there seems to be some grades missing. And not just from the past two years. Going back to undergrad. See?” She’d turned the laptop towards him. He’d seen his name at the top, his student ID number and a list of all the courses he’d taken since he’d been at the university. Beside some of those courses, however, were empty slots where grades should have been. Where grades _used_ to be.

“It has to be some kind of glitch,” she’d assured him hurriedly. “Let me call the I.T. department and see if they can sort it out.” She’d picked up the phone on her desk and dialed an extension.

A dull throb had started in Jeonghan’s left temple. He’d taken a deep breath, releasing it slowly, repeating the act a few times more while trying to convince himself that things wouldn’t suddenly start going to shit again, but the throbbing didn’t ease up.

He’d listened as Professor Cho talked to I.T., watched as the furrow in her brow deepened even further as the minutes ticked by.

“Are you sure?” she’d pressed whoever was on the other end of the call. “Okay. I’ll tell him.”

She’d placed the phone in its receiver and leaned back in her chair with a sigh. When she took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes, Jeonghan had known that it was bad.

“Jeonghan,” she’d begun gently. “There seems to be some kind of…issue with your account. As far as they can tell, the school’s server was hacked but nothing else seems to be out of order. There’s a block of some kind, or whatever they call it, preventing them from undoing what was done. They’re trying to get around it but every time they think they’ve got it, it sends them back to the beginning and they have to start over again, like some kind of game. It’s pretty well made, the guy said. He sounded almost impressed. Anyway, if that doesn’t work – which seems likely – rebooting the entire system might be the quickest and surest way to reset it but they’re hesitant to do that for just one student since, as far as they can tell, you’re the only one who’s been affected.”

The throb had moved to the middle of his brain by that point. He’d looked at her, three maybe four feet away across the table, yet her voice had sounded like it was coming from a distance, reaching him long after her lips stopped moving.

“It’s odd. Why would anyone target you specifically? And why now?” she’d pondered. “It doesn’t make sense. You didn’t happen to piss off one of the I.T. guys did you? Reject his advances or something?”

She’d been trying to lighten the mood, he knew, but it didn’t work. He’d been well and truly pissed.

“Do you know _anyone_ with the kind of skill it would take to do something like this? Anyone at all?”

When her words registered, Jeonghan’s first instinct had been to say “no”. He knew a few Compu. Sci. guys but none he had beef with and certainly none idle enough to waste their time messing with him. And then it clicked.

“Yes, I do actually.” The words had struggled past his clenched teeth, the ache in his head strengthening now that he’d figured it out.

“Oh.” She’d seemed surprised by his admission, then relieved as a small smile lifted her lips. “Well, that’s great then. Maybe you can talk to this person and get them to undo whatever it is they did. That’ll certainly be a lot faster than anything the I.T. guys can come up with.”

“Okay.” It was all that he could manage in the moment, his head too full with pain and rage to string an actual sentence together.

“You’d better hold onto this in the meantime,” she’d said, handing him back his thesis.

Jeonghan had thanked her and calmly placed it in his bag, thanking her again before he let himself out.

He’d felt hot and cold all over: ill, as if he was coming down with the flu. He couldn’t remember being that angry in a long time. Anger wasn’t an emotion he felt often but when he did, it was all-consuming. He’d barely registered his surroundings as he walked through campus, single-mindedly focused as he was on getting to the main gate.

He’d pulled his phone out and sent a quick text.

_I need a pick-up_.

It hadn’t occurred to him to put his location. He knew that he didn’t have to.

When he arrived at the gate, he didn’t have to wait long: ten minutes at most. Under normal circumstances, he’d have marveled at how Mingyu seemed to miraculously zip through Seoul’s traffic faster than anyone else. He’d mentioned it him before and had only gotten a sly smile in response.

That day, however, his mood didn’t allow for small talk, something that, once he was in the car, Mingyu soon realized and gave up on after a few attempts.

Jeonghan hadn’t meant to be difficult or unfriendly; he just genuinely had no words. He’d been afraid that if he opened his mouth nothing would come out but a scream.

The ride to the warehouse had seemed longer than usual, or maybe it only felt that way because of his growing impatience to get to the bottom of the situation. Still, even up to the point that he stepped into the loft, he’d told himself to give _him_ the benefit of the doubt. He could’ve been wrong. He _could_ have.

But he wasn’t.

Seungcheol was the first person he saw when he stepped into the loft. Ordinarily his heart would’ve fluttered and warmth would’ve spread through his chest at the sight of him. And when Seungcheol noticed and smiled at him, which he had, that warmth would’ve seeped into every pore in his body.

“Jeonghan, hey,” Seungcheol had greeted, taking a step towards him.

But Jeonghan’s gaze had shifted to the person still seated at the table, the only person who hadn’t turned towards the door when he’d entered.

Stalking towards him, Jeonghan had finally opened his mouth and released his words unrestrained, venting his turbulent emotions.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

He’d registered the shocked looks from those around him, Seungcheol most of all, but he hadn’t take his eyes off of the target of his rage.

Seungkwan had turned at that, standing and casting a look around, as if only just registering Jeonghan’s presence.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. What the hell is your problem?”

If he’d just looked at Jeonghan head-on, if he’d focused solely on him, he might’ve believed the next words coming out of his mouth.

But he’d made the mistake of looking at Seungcheol first and when he had, Jeonghan saw it. The smugness; the triumph. _“See what I did? See what I can do?”_

He’d turned back to Jeonghan, eyes wide and impossibly innocent. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Jeonghan had advanced until he was almost in his face, never more grateful for having an inch or two on someone else.

“I don’t know what kind of game you think you’re playing but I _promise_ you, you do not want to make an enemy of me.”

“Jeonghan, what’s going on?” Seungcheol had stepped in then, stepped close: surprise, confusion and worry chasing one another across his features.

“Ask him.” He’d glared at Seungkwan, every ounce of hate he’d felt in the moment emanating from his trembling body.

Of course, Seungkwan was never going to let it be that easy.

“I have no idea what he’s going on about,” he’d insisted, hands raised defenselessly as he looked at Seungcheol. “Maybe he’s on his period.”

He hadn’t realized it at the time – Seungcheol filled him in later – but he’d taken a threatening step towards Seungkwan and growled. Literally growled.

“Hey!” Seungcheol had laid a restraining hand on Jeonghan but his eyes were fixed on Seungkwan. “There’s no need for that.” He’d turned to Jeonghan then, features softening. “I’m sure there must be some kind of misunderstanding.”

That had only made Jeonghan’s boiling temper even hotter. “No, there isn’t.”

Seungkwan had sighed dramatically, eyes rolling, before he opened his mouth. “Listen…”

That was the last straw for Jeonghan. He’d wrenched away from Seungcheol and closed the gap between himself and Seungkwan, leaving barely a breath between them. “No, _you_ listen. I don’t care what you think about me or what you’ve convinced yourself that you know about me. I don’t give a damn what your problem is. Daddy not giving you enough attention lately? I. Don’t. Give a shit. Do not fucking mess with me. Undo what you did or so help me _God_ if I have to come back here one of us is going to be bleeding and you can bet your ass that it isn’t going to be me.”

Seungcheol called after him as the others quickly moved out of his way but he didn’t stop. He’d felt so hot inside that he was certain he was about to combust. He could barely breathe; his lungs were filled with fire.

_“What the fuck did you do?”_ Seungcheol, his voice sounding far away like Professor Cho’s had even though Jeonghan was just out in the hallway. It was hard to hear anything above the sound of his own stampeding heartbeat.

He’d somehow made his way to the car, unsurprised when Wonwoo appeared a few seconds later.

The drive back to the city had been uncomfortably quiet.

Seungcheol managed to convince him to meet a few hours later and had spent the rest of the night making it up to him.

The next day, his grades were back in order. He’d decided to hold onto his thesis a little longer, just in case.

He and Seungkwan didn’t so much as look in each other’s direction after that.

 

******

 

_What’s the plan for tonight?_

Jeonghan popped a gummy bear into his mouth as he typed out a reply.

_Not sure yet. Think Seungcheol wants to do something._

It was a real wonder that he hadn’t put on any weight with how unhealthy he’d been eating lately. Chan’s snacks had not improved over the months and with no thesis to worry about anymore – though he still hadn’t handed it in – Jeonghan couldn’t help indulging while he waited for him to complete the work he set. Not to mention all the meals Seungcheol treated him to on a weekly basis. It had gotten to the point where he rarely spent money on groceries, apart from breakfast foods.

Naturally Jun had a theory about that, attributing it to all the sex Jeonghan was having.

_“You’re working off all that extra energy in the best way possible.”_

For once, Jeonghan couldn’t say he was wrong.

His lips curving in a small smile, he opened Jun’s response and almost choked when he read it.

_Some of the others wanted to hit up a club after work but if you’ve got plans with Sugar DD…_

_Speaking of, have you fucked him yet?_

Jeonghan quickly glanced at Chan, even though he knew that he couldn’t see his phone. It just felt wrong talking about his brother, or sex with his brother, with him in the room.

Chan, bless him, was focused on his work.

Clearing his throat, he took a sip of water and replied to his friend.

_Geezus, is that the only place your brain goes?_

Even as he pressed _send_ , Jeonghan already knew the answer. He had never known anyone with a filthier mind than Jun.

_Pfft, have you_ met _me? But seriously, that ass is begging to be ploughed and spanked. What are you waiting for?_

It wasn’t like the thought hadn’t crossed his mind – it had – but the opportunity hadn’t presented itself – _yet_ – and truth be told, Jeonghan was quite content with what he and Seungcheol had. Seungcheol loved worshipping him, his body anyway, and Jeonghan was more than happy to let him do so. Maybe it wasn’t exciting by Jun’s standards and maybe he _was_ lazy but it worked for them.

_You need to get laid_ , he typed, taking the focus off of himself and Seungcheol. _Call up your sugar parents_.

_They’re out of town. Anniversary trip._

At some point, initially unbeknownst to Jeonghan, Jun and the couple he’d met at the auction had come to some kind of _arrangement_. Jeonghan had staunchly refused to listen to details when Jun tried to give them to him but considering that Jun was gay, it didn’t take much imagination to figure out how it all worked. Jeonghan wasn’t prissy or judgmental but he’d be lying if he said that he hadn’t been surprised. Jun was many things, adventurous being at the top of the list, but it seemed a bit out there even for him. Jun seemed happy enough with it, though, and the financial perks were a shiny cherry on top as far as he was concerned.

_You poor baby. However will you survive?_

_Asshole._ Jeonghan grinned _. Are you sure you don’t want to come out tonight? You can even bring boss man. You owe him since you lost your shit the last time he was at a club with you._

_Now who’s being an asshole, asshole?_ He paused; thought it over _._ It was rare that he had a Friday night off and he wouldn’t mind going out – they’d never gone dancing, actually – but it’d be entirely up to Seungcheol. _I’ll ask him._

_Good. And bring me some candy when you come over. I’m going to need the energy later. Think I’m going to try to get some company for the night._

_You could just come get it yourself, you know._

It wasn’t the first time that it struck Jeonghan as ridiculous that he and Jun were chatting on messenger when he was literally in the next room. Jun’s visits to the loft had become more frequent recently. He’d started coming under the guise of visiting Minghao but Jeonghan suspected he now came because he didn’t have much else to do. And with Jeonghan there most of the time, it was often the only time they saw each other outside of work.

He was chuckling to himself when the door to the classroom slammed open.

He jumped, startled, but smiled when he saw Seungcheol striding towards him. His smile fell when the expression on Seungcheol’s face registered.

Wonwoo was with him but he remained at the door, his expression equally as serious.

Something was wrong.

Jeonghan rose from his seat. “Seungcheol?”

Chan had stopped writing at the intrusion and was looking up at his brother, his face impassive.

“Something’s come up,” Seungcheol said, placing his hand in the small of Jeonghan’s back as he came around the table. His voice sounded calm and Jeonghan would’ve believed it if his eyes didn’t seem so hard. “We need to go out for a bit.”

“All of you?” he asked. He’d never seen the warehouse empty. At least one person always stayed behind.

“Yes. Chan can’t stay here by himself so Wonwoo’s going to take you both somewhere safe.”

_Safe?_ , Jeonghan thought, apprehension rising in his chest. Why did they need to go somewhere safe?

He wanted to demand to know what was going on, what Seungcheol had gotten himself into. But it wasn’t his place. He’d accepted a long time ago that Seungcheol’s work life and their relationship were separate entities. It was better that way. Thus far the two had remained as such but, he supposed, it had only been a matter of time before one bled into the other.

Swallowing his questions, he drew Chan to his side as they made their way to the loft, Wonwoo following behind silently.

“Everything’s set,” Jihoon announced briskly as they stepped into the loft. “We’re ready when you are.”

Seungcheol nodded, walking ahead to whisper a few words to Hoshi.

Jeonghan looked around, taking in the scene. They were in the midst of preparing for... _something_.

Seungkwan was typing furiously at his laptop, speaking lowly into the mic in his headphones.

Minghao was pulling duffle bag after duffle bag out of the sofa. Jeonghan had sat on that couch countless times and never once suspected that it had a false bottom.

Mingyu was...

Jeonghan’s eyes widened, his heart skipping a beat.

Was that a _gun_?

He was still processing when Mingyu, catching and following his gaze, pulled his jacket over the weapon tucked into his waistband.

_What the hell was going on?_

His gaze finally landed on Jun, off to the side leaning against the wall. Jun shrugged at his silent question but by his expression, he seemed as unnerved by the unfolding events as Jeonghan felt.

Seungcheol, who had apparently finished talking to Hoshi, came over with Jeonghan’s messenger bag and Chan’s knapsack in hand.

“You’re going to go with Wonwoo now. I’ll call you as soon as I can.”

Jeonghan’s grip tightened on Chan’s shoulder. “Seungcheol...”

“It’ll be fine,” he said, flashing a careless smile that Jeonghan didn’t buy for one second. “I promise. I’ll call you as soon as we’re done.”

_Done doing_ what _?_ , he wanted to demand. _And why do you need guns?_ Followed by, _please don’t_.

But he said nothing, merely held onto Chan with one hand and his bag with the other.

Seungcheol passed a light hand over Chan’s hair, smiling tenderly. This time it was genuine.

“Don’t give Jeonghan any trouble, okay?”

Chan nodded.

Jeonghan wondered what he was thinking. His eyes were shuttered and gave nothing away.

_“Seungcheol.”_

It was Jihoon.

“I’ll be back before you know it,” Seungcheol assured them, smiling that lazy fake smile again, before heading over to his second-in-command.

As Wonwoo led them out, Jun in tow, Jeonghan kept glancing back but Seungcheol didn’t turn around again, not even once.

In the backseat of the car, the tension was palpable.

The partition was down, sorely tempting Jeonghan to ask Wonwoo what was going on. He didn’t need exact details, just a vague idea would do. He knew that it would be pointless, however, so he didn’t bother.

Jun had directed Wonwoo to drop him off at the _Cove_ , which was only a seven-minute drive from the warehouse.

As Wonwoo pulled up, Jun gathered his things and turned to Jeonghan who was at the opposite window, Chan listening to music on his earbuds and playing a game on his phone between them.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay at my place?”

“Thanks, but we’ll be okay.”

Jun had offered once before but a quick glance in the rear-view mirror, and Wonwoo’s barely perceptible head-shake, had had Jeonghan declining.

“Alright.” He pushed open his door and stepped out onto the side-walk, clutching the strap of his back-pack. “I’ll head straight home after shift. Call me if you need anything.”

Jeonghan wanted to tell him that it was okay, that he didn’t need to worry and should go ahead with his plans, but he suspected that he might need the support throughout the night or however long it took for Seungcheol to come get them.

“I will,” he promised instead.

Jun hesitated in the doorway, chewing his bottom lip like he wanted to say something else but he visibly shook the thought away and closed the door instead.

Jeonghan turned around as they drove away and even though he couldn’t see Jun through the dark glass, he knew that he was watching the car disappear into the traffic.

Settling back in his seat, he glanced over at Chan: still seemingly unconcerned as he played a game on his phone, some rock song blasting in his ears.

Was he worried at all?, Jeonghan wondered.

He didn’t know and he didn’t want to ask in the event that that might cause Chan to worry.

But he needed to do _something_ with himself so he draped his arm across Chan’s shoulders, offering comfort and commiseration. A couple of moments went by but then he felt Chan lean into his side.

It would be okay, he told himself. And if it wasn’t, he would deal with that when the time came.

Even as the thought passed through his head, his fingers gripped Chan tighter, mooring himself in the touch as Wonwoo drove them into the unknown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are about to get _very_ interesting...


	15. Interlude: The Debt That's Owed

 

The bright lights of the city beyond the floor-to-ceiling windows, beyond his own reflection, beckoned him.

Out there was noise and traffic; chaos and possibility; Jeonghan and Chan.

Out there was freedom.

In here were muted voices and all-too-familiar clicks; preparation and finalizing; regret and acceptance.

It wasn’t how Seungcheol had pictured spending his evening.

He’d had plans. He was going to take Jeonghan to dinner, somewhere more low-key than the hotel since he’d kept saying that he didn’t need such extravagance on a regular basis, and then they would’ve gone to the hotel, not to a room – or not directly at least – but to the rooftop swimming pool. Months ago, Seungcheol had told Jeonghan about how he often went there for peace and solitude whenever he needed to recalibrate. He’d intended to take him there much sooner but since things between him and Jeonghan had settled down, become something solid and dependable, he hadn’t needed it as much. Still, he’d wanted to show it to him, to share it with him, and he’d finally decided that tonight was the night.

Then the call came.

His fingers moved automatically over the cold metal, the sense-memory of his past as fresh as it had been years ago when such a scene was the norm instead of a rarity. One last slide, click and pump and he was done.

He watched them in the glass, his busy little worker bees, seeing to their assigned tasks with critical efficiency. He watched, unsurprised, when one of them – his best friend, his brother, his lieutenant – broke away and approached him, his expression as sombre and unreadable as always.

“There’s still time,” _he_ said; his voice, like his face, giving away nothing of his thoughts or emotions. It was a statement, plain and simple.

 _There isn’t, though_ , Seungcheol thought, feeling the weight of the harbinger of death in his palm.

“You can still call it off.”

He couldn’t.

“It’s too late,” Seungcheol said, his voice throaty and raw. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d spoken. Probably not since they’d arrived at the apartment and he’d given his men orders before taking up residence by the window.

“It isn’t.”

“I don’t have a choice,” Seungcheol insisted, steel threading between his words.

“You always have a choice,” _he_ countered.

Now, they both knew that that wasn’t true. He’d ceased having any say in the matter the moment he’d made a deal with the devil. The devil had delivered on his part; now he had come to collect.

A phone rang; Seungkwan answered, speaking briskly into his mouthpiece.

Beside him, Mingyu and Wonwoo pored over the blueprints on the table one last time, nodding as if they’d come to some final decision between them – they probably had – before separating.

Hoshi and Minghao placed nondescript black bags by the door to the apartment – their _real_ headquarters, not the warehouse like Jeonghan had assumed – for convenient access when they were ready to leave.

They were more than just efficient. They were well-trained, in-sync, a unit. They trusted him to lead them into hell and back. He wasn’t so sure that he deserved that trust.

“They’re ready,” Seungkwan announced to the room at large, call seemingly concluded.

Seungcheol’s eyes met _his_ in the glass once more, the silent conversation taking place between them ending when he slid his gun into his holster with grim finality and reached for his jacket.

As Seungcheol turned from the window and passed him, Jihoon said softly for his ears alone, “I hope he’s worth it.”

Jaw tightening, he ignored the uncertainty in his chest, the gnawing in his stomach, and met the eyes looking to him expectantly.

“Let’s go.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Belated holiday felicitations; Happy New Year, etc, etc.
> 
> Hard-M ahead.

Jeonghan spent most of the drive through peak Seoul traffic wondering what “safe” meant to Seungcheol but he was a little surprised, and yet not in the slightest, when he realized that they were pulling into the underground parking lot of a very familiar hotel.

 _Of course_ , he thought, a laugh slightly tinged with hysteria bubbling up in his throat. The answer was always the most obvious and least expected.

His smile fell, arm tightening around Chan, when his door opened to reveal two dangerous-looking, unknown men.

“It’s okay,” Wonwoo said, speaking for the first time since they’d left the warehouse. He met Jeonghan’s eyes in the rear-view mirror, a reassuring smile on his lips. “You’ll be safe with them.”

 _Safe_.

Jeonghan wasn’t easily rattled but the night had already been so unnerving, and getting more so by the minute. It was hard to keep his bearings when he had little to no control over anything that was happening. He had no choice, though: not with Chan in his care. Chan, who still hadn’t spoken or looked up from his game since they’d left the warehouse.

Keeping his eyes on the man closest to him, Jeonghan alighted from the car, tugging gently on Chan’s arm for him to follow. As soon as they were out, he curved his arm around Chan’s shoulders once more, keeping him close.

Wonwoo waited until they were in the elevator, the two men standing in front of them like sentries, before beeping his horn and driving off.

 _Back to Seungcheol_ , Jeonghan thought, _wherever he might be...Whatever he might be doing._

They were taken to his and Seungcheol’s usual suite: a small measure of familiarity and comfort that Jeonghan was thankful for, which he was positive was Seungcheol’s intention.

One of the men spoke to him briefly, assuring him that they would be right outside if he or Chan needed anything, before shutting the door in his face.

When he recovered from the abrupt dismissal, he turned to find Chan slowly surveying the suite, his expression still impassive and unreadable.

“So...Are you hungry?” Jeonghan asked tentatively. It felt weird, not knowing what to say to Chan after they’d spent so much time together in recent months. But food was always a good ice-breaker, especially with someone like Chan.

For the first time since the classroom, Chan looked at him and, with a small smile, said, “I could eat.”

 

An hour later, with still no word from Seungcheol, they were settled on the bed watching television, a pint of ice-cream between them.

Jeonghan had ordered plates of spaghetti and let Chan pick the dessert, which turned out to be decadent chocolate cake and disgustingly rich ice-cream. He imagined himself gaining a pound with every spoonful.

Chan, however, had no such qualms because he’d all but inhaled half the pint by himself and showed no signs of stopping. In between mouthfuls, he made comments on the movie they were watching, which he’d also chosen. Some flick about a teenage hacker who had gotten involved in things he was not equipped to handle. Jeonghan honestly wasn’t paying attention, way too preoccupied with his concern for Seungcheol and the others.

“Chan-ah.”

“Mmm...” Chan mumbled around a particularly large spoonful, eyes still glued to the TV.

“Has anything like this happened before? With hyung, I mean,” he added.

Chan muted his movie, brow creasing with a frown as he considered the question before shrugging. “One time Seungkwan-hyung stayed behind with me while everyone else went out. They were gone all night. Another time hyung sent me to spend the night with Mingyu-hyung. That’s not unusual...” he started to explain before Jeonghan could ask, “...but they were whispering about something for a while before we left and hyung sent me into the bedroom and closed the door so I couldn’t hear anything. The room isn’t as sound-proof as they think, though.”

Jeonghan’s cheeks started to burn as he wondered if that last remark was meant for him. It didn’t happen often but he and Seungcheol had fooled around at the loft a few times, usually with the others – including Chan – right outside.

“And then last year he went somewhere for a week. He didn’t say where or why; just told me to not give the hyungs any trouble and that he’d bring me something when he returned. I got an Xbox.”

Now Jeonghan was more curious than ever. There’d been no unexplained disappearances since he and Seungcheol had started seeing each other – save his absences at the pub on Fridays which Jeonghan still wondered about but had yet to inquire – but knowing that it was a possibility, maybe even a probability, in the future... Jeonghan wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Since he’d made up his mind to be with Seungcheol, he’d done his best to do exactly that. It still wasn’t easy to let someone in after being alone for so long, especially given the way his last relationship had ended, but he was dedicated to following through on the promises he’d made. He’d also tried very hard to be understanding and not ask too many questions, accepting that it was in his own best interest to know as little as possible about the shady side of Seungcheol’s life, but he wasn’t sure how understanding he could be if Seungcheol just upped and disappeared without an honest explanation. He wasn’t altogether certain that an honest one would be any better either.

Perhaps sensing Jeonghan’s tumultuous thoughts and emotions, Chan placed a reassuring hand on his leg and said, “You don’t need to worry. Hyung always comes back.”

Jeonghan nodded, forcing a smile to his lips and shoving a spoonful of ice-cream into his mouth to save himself from having to reply.

Eventually, the uncertainty faded and he went back to merely being worried. It wasn’t an improvement by any means but it helped him stay focused on the moment instead of thinking about what the future might have in store.

He’d given up on the movie halfway through and started messaging Jun, who was still at work and regaled him with ridiculous stories of the night’s customers. They might have their issues from time to time but Jeonghan was never more grateful for his friend and the distraction he provided as he was in that moment.

_Any word yet?_

It was probably the fifth or sixth time that Jun had asked and whereas ordinarily Jeonghan might have gotten annoyed, he appreciated Jun’s concern not only for himself but for Seungcheol too. And Minghao, no doubt, since the two were now thick as thieves.

Casting a glance at Chan who had fallen asleep shortly after his movie ended, the remnants of his now-melted ice-cream on the night-stand, Jeonghan typed back a quick reply.

_No. Still radio silence._

A couple of minutes passed before Jun messaged again. Jeonghan assumed that he’d had to deal with some customers.

_I’m sure it’ll be fine. How’s the kid?_

Jeonghan looked over at Chan again, taking in the slight fluttering of his eyelashes as he dreamt and the residual stickiness around his mouth, trailing gentle fingers along the smooth curve of his cheek. Chan didn’t stir in the slightest.

_Out like a light. Didn’t think someone who consumed so much sugar could fall asleep right after._

_He’s a teenager. His metabolism is much faster than us old fogies._

Jeonghan couldn’t help rolling his eyes. He was pretty sure that last comment was a dig at him because Jun was always pointing out how he acted like an old man despite his young age.

Then...

_Have you thought about what you’ll do if..._

Even though he wasn’t sure where Jun was going with this line of questioning, a tremor of trepidation raced down Jeonghan’s spine.

_If...?_

There was a lengthy pause, then:

_...if he doesn’t come back._

Jeonghan’s heart skipped a beat, his stomach churning with anxiety.

Despite living in a state of fear and concern for the past few hours, Jeonghan had done his best to keep his imagination at bay, not letting it wander too far off course. So _no_ , he hadn’t allowed himself to consider what he would do if Seungcheol...if he... _if_.

When he didn’t reply quickly enough, Jun said:

_I’m sure there’s nothing to worry about. Don’t let your mind go thinking things that it shouldn’t._

It was too late: the seed had already been planted.

For the third time, Jeonghan looked over at Chan but this time his gaze lingered, seeing not just the sleeping boy – looking even younger than his sixteen years in repose – but potential responsibility.

Had Seungcheol made plans in the event of something happening to him?

He imagined that if such a thing _did_ occur, then Jihoon would take over as Chan’s guardian, being Seungcheol’s best friend and the co-leader of the group. And if he couldn’t, if God-forbid something happened to him too, then it would filter on down through the group according to age or rank.

But what if something happened to _all_ of them? What if they were all taken out in one fell swoop? Who would look after Chan then?

Jeonghan had to assume that there was someone outside of the core group that Seungcheol was close to. He’d been in the life for over seven years. He had to have acquaintances, maybe even friends, that Jeonghan didn’t know about. But would Seungcheol trust them with the one thing he treasured the most?

Perhaps Hyesung could look after Chan, at least until he turned eighteen. It would be a better alternative than forcing Chan to return home to his parents, of that Jeonghan was sure.

But...somehow none of it felt right. If something happened to Seungcheol, Jeonghan didn’t think he could turn Chan over to anyone else, no matter how genuine their intentions might be.

He was only twenty-two years old; just about to finish grad school and embark on a hopefully fulfilling career. He didn’t have much to offer financially and he certainly had no parenting skills to speak of but if it came down to it... if Seungcheol was gone for _good_ , he would have no choice. Taking care of Chan himself was the only decision he could live with.

The mere thought of being responsible for another human being had his stomach in knots, his heart fluttering painfully. It was terrifying to think that it was a real possibility; that Seungcheol might not come back. He didn’t know if he could survive that kind of loss again.

He tried picturing himself turning up at his parents’ house with Chan in tow. God, he couldn’t begin to imagine their reactions let alone coming up with a somewhat believable explanation as to how he’d inherited a teenager, all while he was dealing with his own heartbreak and Chan’s grief.

_You there?_

The vibration of his phone shook him from his thoughts, and none too soon because he could feel the stirrings of a panic attack. Another minute or two and he would be hyperventilating while he mentally planned Seungcheol’s funeral.

_Yeah, sorry. Mind wandered off._

_No, I’m sorry I brought it up. I’m not trying to scare you, Hannie. I’m sure he knows what he’s doing._

_I know. It’s fine_ , he replied. And it was because truth be told, Jeonghan knew himself and it had probably only been a matter of time before his mind went there on its own. Jun had merely expedited it. _He’ll be back soon._

 _He would_ , Jeonghan assured himself. Seungcheol had promised.

 

It was almost 4:00am when Jeonghan’s phone vibrating on the night-stand woke him.

He’d stayed in contact with Jun throughout the rest of his shift, messages turning to a phone call once Jun reached home until he’d ultimately sent his exhausted friend to bed with the promise that he’d let him know as soon as he’d heard anything.

He startled awake, reaching for it automatically and answering without glancing at the display.

“Hello?”

There was a slight pause, then, “Hey.”

Relief crashed over him at the sound of Seungcheol’s voice. It felt like an age had passed since he’d heard it.

Quietly, so as not to wake Chan, he snuck out of the bedroom, closing the french doors quietly behind him, and walked to the floor-to-ceiling windows with the view overlooking the city.

“Seungcheol?” He already knew that it was him but still needed the confirmation for his own peace of mind.

“Yeah, it’s me.” He sounded fine. His voice was soft, a bit husky, but he sounded alright. He was alive, at least. Relief was a living thing in Jeonghan’s chest.

“Are you okay? Is everyone...” He didn’t know what to ask exactly. He couldn’t voice what he _really_ wanted to. _Is anyone hurt...or dead? Where are you? What were you doing? When are you coming back?_

“I’m fine. Everyone’s fine.” There was another pause; some background noise and voices that Jeonghan couldn’t make out. “How’re things on your end? How’s Chan?”

“We’re fine,” he assured him. “Chan’s asleep. He ate himself into a food coma. He had so much ice-cream that I expected him to be bouncing off the walls but instead he passed out.”

Seungcheol chuckled fondly. “That sounds like him.”

Silence fell between them and once again, Jeonghan’s mind was full of things that he wanted to say. He’d promised himself a long time ago that he would trust Seungcheol to handle that side of his life, that he wouldn’t get involved, but the reality of what that entailed had never been so clear to him before. He was relieved to hear from Seungcheol, to be able to hear his breaths and be reassured that he was indeed okay, but until he was standing in front of him where he could judge with his own eyes that Seungcheol was truly okay, the potential for danger still lingered.

“I have to go.” Seungcheol’s voice was soft and apologetic and Jeonghan immediately wanted to express his displeasure. _Why?_ , he wanted to scream. _Go where?_ When _are you coming back?_

Instead, what came out was, “Come back to me.” Jeonghan had never heard that plaintive, almost begging, tone in his own voice before. It scared him a little.

“I will. Soon.” There was so much emotion in those three little words. Against all odds, Jeonghan felt it seep into him, calming his anxiety just a fraction. He couldn’t _not_ believe it when Seungcheol sounded so sure.

The line went dead in his ear but he remained as he was for a minute longer, staring out at the city lights, wondering if one of them shone upon Seungcheol, his phone unconsciously gripped tightly in his hand.

After a while he pulled up an armchair, curling up against the arm-rest, and went back to what he’d been doing all night: waiting.

 

Jeonghan had never been good at waiting _._ The problem with waiting was that it only served to remind him of how powerless he was; a feeling that, given his past experiences, he’d come to loathe.

As it was, _soon_ turned out to be almost an hour and a half later.

Jeonghan had fallen asleep again, a light doze as his mind was far too busy for deep sleep, when a knock at the door tickled his ears. It didn’t register the first time but the second string of knocks, louder and longer, did.

He woke up, stiff and aching, and dragged himself to the door, taking his time because he didn’t want to trip over the furniture in the dark and because he was almost positive that it wasn’t Seungcheol. Seungcheol knew the suite like the back of his hand so he would have just let himself in and...

He flung the door open, his mind going completely blank for a second as his eyes fell on the very person he’d just been sure wouldn’t be standing on the other side.

With a muffled sound he threw himself at him, arms winding tightly around Seungcheol’s neck.

God, was he still asleep? Was this just a dream?

“It’s okay,” Seungcheol murmured, wrapping his arms around Jeonghan’s waist as he walked him back across the threshold into the suite. “It’s okay. I’m here now.”

Jeonghan didn’t let go, didn’t lift his head from where he’d pressed his face against Seungcheol’s shoulder. He smelled like Seungcheol, like himself. There were other scents mixed in, sweat and something he couldn’t identify, but it was definitely him. And he felt like him, warm and solid and _alive_.

“Hey. _Hey_.” Seungcheol pulled away, holding Jeonghan at arm’s length until he met his gaze.

Jeonghan had half a mind to punch him in the face for making him worry, for forcing him to consider what life might be like without Seungcheol in it. He wasn’t usually a violent person, the occasional tussle with Jun notwithstanding, but he’d make an exception this once. The other half was so damn grateful to have him back; to be able to look him over with his own eyes, to be able to touch him once more.

Wordlessly, Jeonghan slid his arms around Seungcheol’s waist and laid his cheek against his shoulder. He’d tell him off later. At the moment, he just wanted to hold him.

Seungcheol let him, stroking Jeonghan’s hair and pressing tender kisses to it.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

‘No-shit’ Jeonghan would have asked him what exactly he was sorry for; which one of the “sins” he’d committed that night he was most regretful about. But Jeonghan just didn’t have the energy to be petty at the moment. With Seungcheol safely in his arms, his strength was sapped after hours of constant worry. All he wanted was to bask in the knowledge that Seungcheol had made it back to him safely.

To _them_. Shit, he’d forgotten about Chan.

“Chan’s still sleeping,” he said, lifting his head.

Seungcheol smiled. “That’s okay. I don’t want to wake him.”

Jeonghan nodded, taking a step back to give Seungcheol some room. As he did so, he caught a flash of something on his left arm as it drew away from Seungcheol.

“Oh, my God...”

Following Jeonghan’s gaze, Seungcheol grabbed his arm and swore. “Shit!”

“Is that blood?” Jeonghan screeched, eyes wide as he looked at Seungcheol.

“Wait, let me explain,” Seungcheol began.

Jeonghan didn’t hear him. He was too busy tugging at Seungcheol’s shirt – black, of course, which was why he hadn’t noticed the blood – trying to get to the skin beneath. His mind immediately went to the worst case scenario: that Seungcheol was standing there bleeding to death while he sought to comfort and reassure Jeonghan.

“Stop!” Seungcheol ordered, grabbing both of Jeonghan’s hands in his and shaking him to a halt. Taking a deep breath, he let it out slowly. “It’s not mine. I’m not hurt.”

“Then...whose is it?”

Seungcheol hesitated and, given all that he had already endured that night, Jeonghan was all out of patience. He’d used up all he had for maybe the next decade. With this new development, he was well on his way to being pissed.

“Whose is it?” he repeated, tone low and hard, letting Seungcheol know that he’d reached his limit. It was time for some answers. “ _Seungcheol_.”

“Mingyu’s.” Seungcheol sighed. “He was shot. It’s just a flesh wound,” he rushed to add at Jeonghan’s gasp, before Jeonghan’s imagination could spiral out of control. “He’s not in any danger. He’ll be fine.”

Jeonghan’s stomach sank. He’d wanted answers, and he’d finally gotten one, but he hadn’t been prepared for it.

 _Fine_ , Seungcheol kept saying. There was nothing remotely _fine_ about this situation. How could everything be _fine_ when someone, _Mingyu_ of all people, had been shot?

Knowing that what Seungcheol did was dangerous and having proof that he’d actually been _in_ danger were two completely different things. Jeonghan was having a hard time processing that his worst fear, Seungcheol never coming back, had been a bullet away from coming true.

Had Mingyu already been shot when Seungcheol called to tell him that everyone was _fine_? That it would all be okay?

Lost in his thoughts, he didn’t notice Seungcheol leading him to the armchair he’d recently vacated until he was being pulled down onto Seungcheol’s lap.

“I’m so sorry,” Seungcheol murmured, tucking Jeonghan’s head beneath his chin. “I never meant to make you worry.” His arms tightened around Jeonghan and he pressed another kiss to his head. “But I’m okay and Mingyu will be too. I promise.”

_Promise._

Call him a sceptic but Jeonghan always took promises with a grain of salt. It wasn’t so much that he didn’t trust people as it was that he was far too aware of how infallible humans were. In spite of their best intentions, they were bound to disappoint eventually. Still...Seungcheol _had_ returned, as promised: whole and hale. And he had never lied to Jeonghan – that he was aware of, anyway. He’d withheld, but he never lied.

“You never called me before,” he said, startling them both.

“What?” Seungcheol queried, obviously confused.

“You called tonight,” Jeonghan explained, tilting his head up to look at Seungcheol. “You’ve never called before. We always exchange messages.”

Seungcheol was quiet for a moment, processing what Jeonghan was saying. When he finally spoke, he said, “You didn’t give me permission before.”

A small part of Jeonghan warmed at that. When he’d first given Seungcheol his number, he’d told him that no one but Chan was allowed to call. That had been months ago and a lot had happened since but somehow, to Jeonghan’s surprise, Seungcheol had not only remembered but also continued to honour his request. He hadn’t noticed before because they spent so much time together that the few hours they were apart, he didn’t feel the need to reach out. And when they were in contact, it was over social media or through Chan.

It was silly but just knowing that Seungcheol cared enough to stick to it for so long made him feel special; _respected_.

“You could have anyway...”

“I’d never do anything you didn’t want me to,” Seungcheol said solemnly.

The words had Jeonghan’s stomach flipping again but for an entirely different reason this time.

When Seungcheol began peppering his face with gentle kisses, Jeonghan leaned into it, tilting his head this way and that to allow Seungcheol access.

He kissed along his hairline to his ear, down the curve of his jaw, his chin. He brushed feather-light lips across his brow and down his nose, each pass of his lips making Jeonghan tingle with anticipation.

Finally, when Jeonghan sighed contentedly, lips parting, Seungcheol brushed his own lips across Jeonghan’s, once, twice, before licking into the moist warmth of his mouth.

Neither of them was in any hurry, both quite happy to just kiss, part and breathe each other in, and then kiss a little more. They went on like that for God knew how long. Jeonghan wasn’t aware of the passage of time. He was only conscious of Seungcheol’s mouth on his; being cocooned in the tight warmth of his arms.

It was only when one of Seungcheol’s hands started to wander, dropping to the curve of Jeonghan’s ass and beginning to knead the flesh through his jeans, that the kiss finally deepened.

Jeonghan would never _not_ think that kissing was weird regardless of the feelings it ignited within him but Seungcheol was so damn good at it that he always forgot that he had someone else’s tongue in his mouth. Or rather, that tongue did such wicked things and elicited such lustful feelings that he could easily forgive the whole spit-swapping aspect.

Tearing his mouth away, he pressed his face into the crook of Seungcheol’s neck, breathing harsh as he inhaled lungfuls of air.

He shifted slightly in Seungcheol’s lap, becoming aware of the bulge beneath his hip.

 _Someone’s getting excited_ , he thought, nuzzling into Seungcheol’s neck.

Playfully, he flicked his tongue over Seungcheol’s pulse, pursing his lips in light suction when Seungcheol shivered and jerked his hips upward.

Jeonghan trailed kisses down Seungcheol’s neck, making his intentions known as he twisted his body and used his knees to part Seungcheol’s thighs so that he could slide down and settle on the floor between them.

He wanted to do something, something that he’d never been allowed to – at least not to completion.

Locking eyes with Seungcheol, he reached for his waistband, deftly unbuckling his belt and popping the button in his pants, the zipper following shortly.

He palmed Seungcheol through his – black, of course – boxer-briefs, feeling him thicken further with every pass of his hand. When he couldn’t wait anymore, he peeled back the waistband of the briefs, eyes finally leaving Seungcheol’s to watch as his erection sprang free, swaying in the air before settling.

He wasn’t quite at full hardness but he would be soon enough, Jeonghan thought and he leaned forward to lick the already slick tip, lightly curving the tips of his fingers around the base to begin a slow stroke.

With his hand steady and purposeful, Jeonghan allowed himself to explore Seungcheol’s cock, trailing his nose along the shaft, taking in his heady, musky scent, before once again licking at the pearls of pre-cum gathering at his slit.

Through it all, he flicked his eyes up at Seungcheol every other minute, his stomach quivering with desire at the intensity of Seungcheol’s gaze as he stared down at him, barely blinking. Hell, it seemed like he was barely breathing.

Once Seungcheol was fully erect, he finally took the head into his mouth completely. His eyes fluttered closed as he slid down the shaft, humming softly to himself. He felt the weight of Seungcheol against his tongue; the way his lips stretched slightly to accommodate him, the taste of him dripping onto his tongue and down his throat.

He was so immersed in the moment that he almost forgot that Seungcheol’s cock was attached to the man himself. That is until Seungcheol’s hand landed on his head, fingers gently threading into Jeonghan’s hair.

He opened his eyes then, sliding up and off of Seungcheol as he met his gaze once more. He knew how he looked, could feel the mix of cum and saliva coating and dripping from his lips. He did nothing to stop it, letting it dribble down his chin.

For some reason, he wanted to do this for Seungcheol; to do something for him and only him.

Despite the hell that Seungcheol had put him through the past few hours, he was really thankful to have him back. That hadn’t earned him a reward per se but he’d done a lot of other things for Jeonghan since they’d met and this was a mutually beneficial way of showing gratitude.

Seungcheol continued to run his fingers through Jeonghan’s hair as he worked him with his hand and mouth, never tightening his grip. He didn’t thrust upward either, though he did gyrate his hips a little. Jeonghan figured that it was impossible for him to stay still the more aroused he became.

Jeonghan could tell when Seungcheol was approaching climax. His breathing was obvious now, becoming more laboured, and he was visibly trembling.

“Shit, I’m going to come,” Seungcheol gritted between clenched teeth, fingers finally tightening in Jeonghan’s hair, hips jerking upwards in barely controlled thrusts.

Jeonghan didn’t heed the warning, which he knew it was meant to be. Instead, he sped up his strokes, suctioning his lips around Seungcheol as he swallowed him down.

He’d watched Seungcheol do it to him many times. It was finally his turn.

Seungcheol came with a grunt, spilling hot and thick down Jeonghan’s throat. It was a little uncomfortable, since he wasn’t used to the sensation or the taste, but he swallowed it all, only pulling off when Seungcheol’s fingers finally relaxed in his hair.

Seungcheol ran trembling fingers along Jeonghan’s lips as he tucked him back into his underwear and zipped up his pants, ignoring the belt.

When he was done, Seungcheol gripped him beneath his armpits and dragged him back up onto his lap. His mouth latched onto Jeonghan’s, tongue sweeping the remnants of his orgasm from the deep recesses of Jeonghan’s mouth.

Jeonghan couldn’t help wondering how Seungcheol found the taste of himself and if he liked it

The entire thing was hot and filthy and did nothing to abate the erection painfully stifled in Jeonghan’s jeans.

As if reading his mind, Seungcheol reached down between Jeonghan’s legs, cupping him, but when he started to undo his jeans, Jeonghan placed a hand over Seungcheol’s.

He pulled back slightly and shook his head. This wasn’t a give-to-receive situation. He hadn’t done it expecting anything in return. It had all been for Seungcheol.

With a soft sigh, he rested his head on Seungcheol’s shoulder again, curling tighter in his lap and, getting the message, Seungcheol once again wrapped his arms around him, holding him close.

They stayed like that for a long time.

Jeonghan didn’t know what Seungcheol was thinking about but for his part, he was tuned into the strong, steady, reassuring beat of Seungcheol’s heart.

The first rays of sunlight were just streaking the sky when they were startled out of their mutual doze by the opening of the bedroom doors.

“Chan?” Jeonghan whispered, lifting his head and blinking rapidly as the boy shuffled out of the bedroom.

“Shhh,” Seungcheol hissed gently. “Don’t speak. Just watch.”

As if being controlled by some invisible puppet-master, Chan made his way to the sofa where he laid down and promptly proceeded to snore softly.

What the...

“He does that all the time,” Seungcheol explained. “He moves from one spot, my bed for example, and goes to sleep somewhere else, like the couch, or vice versa. He never truly wakes up. I don’t know how he hasn’t hurt himself bumping into things.”

“That’s....wow.”

Seungcheol chuckled softly. “I know. And the best thing is...” he leaned in slightly, hovering his lips over Jeonghan’s ear, “...he won’t move again for a few hours.”

A shiver travelled down Jeonghan’s spine and his softened cock was suddenly waking up again.

“Shower?” he suggested, trying not to sound too eager.

“I could definitely use one.”

Jeonghan slid off of Seungcheol’s lap and onto his feet, holding a hand out to Seungcheol who took it.

They walked quietly, carefully making their way around the sofa though they need not have worried as Chan didn’t so much as twitch.

Jeonghan closed the french doors behind them once they were in the bedroom, lamenting the lack of a lock. But he trusted Seungcheol’s knowledge that they had at least a couple of hours before Chan would be on the move again.

He led Seungcheol into the bathroom, turning on the shower to get the temperature just right before turning back to Seungcheol.

Slowly, article by article, he undressed him. He purposely averted his eyes from the slight redness staining Seungcheol’s side as he gathered up his clothes and tossed them aside. He gestured for Seungcheol to enter the shower before undressing himself and joining him.

The shower was just as luxurious as the rest of the room, large and with both inset and hand-held shower heads. Seungcheol didn’t seem to care much for all that space, however, as he immediately crowded closer to Jeonghan, placing his hands on his waist.

It wasn’t easy ignoring how aroused he was, especially with Seungcheol already stiffening again against his stomach – God, his stamina was insane! – but Jeonghan did, instead grabbing the soap and setting about cleaning Seungcheol from head to toe.

This was a new level of intimacy for them, for _him_. He’d never bathed anyone before. Sure, he and Minhyuk had shared the shower a few times in the two years they were together, for convenience and efficiency mostly, but they’d each taken care of themselves, not so much as sharing a kiss in the process. Everything was different with Seungcheol. Every day brought a new experience.

There was something very heady about being able to have his way with Seungcheol, being able to run his hands over every smooth inch of his skin unrestrained. It was all his to do with as he pleased. No one had ever given him such autonomy over them before.

He took his time, relishing the moment as he lathered Seungcheol’s entire body, even going so far as to soap between his toes despite his aversion to other people’s feet.

He could feel Seungcheol’s gaze on him as he worked, hot and wanting, but he made no move to start anything, just kept his hands light on Jeonghan’s waist when he was upright, eyes trained on his every movement.

He had to resist a pout when it was time to rinse Seungcheol off, simply because he wasn’t ready to take his hands off of him yet, but they were both getting pruny by that point, the water not quite as warm as it was when they started, and he still had to bathe himself.

“Go ahead and dry off,” he told Seungcheol, already running the soap over his chest as he turned towards the spray, only to find himself suddenly pinned against the tiled wall, soap slipping from his startled fingers as Seungcheol pressed into his back.

Jeonghan didn’t need to ask what Seungcheol wanted; he could feel his intention poking into his butt, hot, hard and filled with glorious purpose.

“Wait,” he pleaded when Seungcheol’s hand slid around his waist and curled around his already aching member. Between blowing Seungcheol and their incredibly hot shared-shower, he was already on the verge or bursting. But he knew his limitations and there was a comfortable, currently empty bed that offered far more enjoyable prospects than a quick hand-job in the shower. “ _Wait_.”

Seungcheol continued his ministration, however, interspersing kisses and kitten-licks on the back of his neck as he stroked him with increasing speed and pressure.

“If I come now, I won’t be able to come again,” Jeonghan warned, though it came out more like a breathless gasp.

“Don’t worry, you will,” Seungcheol said into his ear, his hot breath wafting over Jeonghan’s sensitive skin doing nothing to abate his current condition.

“I won’t,” he whined, unable to stop himself from squirming as he did his level best not to thrust into Seungcheol’s grip. God, it was torture. It felt _so_ good but he ached for so much more.  Seungcheol’s hardness was a constant reminder of what he wanted so badly, so close to where he wanted it too as it lay heavily along his cleft

“You will,” Seungcheol repeated, his voice certain, echoing every other promise he’d made in the past ten hours.

“Oh God,” Jeonghan moaned, fingers grappling on slippery, expensive tile for purchase as he lost his fight, spilling into Seungcheol’s hand, which kept up its steady rhythm until Jeonghan all but collapsed against the wall.

Seungcheol pressed one last kiss to the back of his neck before finally stepping out of the stall.

He didn’t leave the bathroom, though: just stood there watching Jeonghan with a smug smirk on his face, droplets of water sluicing down his sinfully toned body, the tip of his hard cock.

Jeonghan, whose body was still mostly accustomed to rolling over and going to sleep after orgasm – or at least not moving for a period of time –, refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing how shaken he was so he locked the knees of his trembling legs, picked up the soap and did his best to act casual as he continued from where he’d left off.

His body was overly sensitive, synapses still working overtime, and it was almost painful having to touch himself. He made quick work of it, soaping and rinsing at the same time. The only thing he took time on was his hair, turning his back to Seungcheol as he lathered his silky tresses with fancy hotel shampoo. He could feel Seungcheol’s eyes eating him up and it was all he could do not to preen a little.

When he was done, he switched the water off and stepped out of the shower, onto the bathmat inches away from Seungcheol.

Since Seungcheol had made no move to dry himself, Jeonghan reached for a towel and set about the task himself. He ignored Seungcheol’s gaze and focused on drying him with brisk efficiency, avoiding Seungcheol’s erection as he knew that any attention would give Seungcheol exactly what he wanted.

When he was done, he fastened the towel around Seungcheol’s waist and only then did he meet his eyes.

“You can go. I’ll be there shortly.”

Seungcheol stared at him for a lingering moment before giving a cheeky salute and exiting the bathroom.

As soon as he was out of eyesight, Jeonghan wilted against the counter, taking a few deep breaths.

He didn’t know when or how this game of push and pull had started but he couldn’t remember ever being so turned on. Even though he’d just come and was pretty sure that that was it for the night – well, morning now – he was still so aroused. By Seungcheol, damn his smug, sexy ass, and by whatever it was that was brewing between them.

In the back of his mind, he had to give himself a mental pat on the shoulder. Jun would be proud.

Cold beginning to turn his skin into gooseflesh, Jeonghan dried himself quickly and reached for one of the thick, fluffy robes the hotel always had on hand. He decided to indulge and make Seungcheol wait a little longer, taking advantage of the complimentary lotion on hand. Seungcheol did like to smell him a lot so he doubted he’d really mind.

Fastening the belt of the robe around his waist, he quickly brushed his hair – God, he really loved this heavenly hotel – and strode back into the bedroom.

As he approached the bed, his stomach tightened. Seungcheol was buck naked in the middle of the bed – which his baby brother had not too long vacated – cock standing unabashedly proud in the air, arms folded behind his head on propped pillows.

 _This fucker_ , Jeonghan thought, even as his mouth watered at the sight of him. _Yes_ , it actually watered.

He kept his expression neutral, his stride steady as he approached the bed. When he reached the edge, he gazed down at Seungcheol for a deliberately long minute before hiking his robe up to his knees and crawling onto the bed, swinging his leg across Seungcheol’s lap to straddle him before dropping his hold on his robe, the luxurious softness draping around both of them.

He leaned forward, bracing his hands on either side of Seungcheol’s head to gaze down at him while doing his best to ignore Seungcheol’s hardness once again poking him in the rear.

Seungcheol made no move to touch him, allowing Jeonghan to continue to take the reins and do as he pleased.

What he _pleased_ to do was slowly begin undulating his hips against Seungcheol, eyes intent upon his shifting expression. The sun hadn’t risen fully yet but there was enough light filtering into the room for him to note Seungcheol’s reddening cheeks and enlarged pupils, the way his tongue peeked out to wet his lips.

For someone who had never been power hungry before, Jeonghan was almost drunk with it.

And horny. So very horny.

Seungcheol didn’t seem to mind but he was apparently growing impatient as he ran his hands up Jeonghan’s sides to his back, curving them between his shoulder blades to pull Jeonghan down as he rutted up against him.

Eyes narrowing, Jeonghan took Seungcheol’s bottom lip between his teeth, tugging on it lightly before licking it.

At Seungcheol’s surprised gasp, he did it again and it wasn’t long before they were kissing in earnest, both battling for dominance as they bit and thrust into each other’s mouths with teeth and tongue.

He absently felt one of Seungcheol’s hands slide off of him a second before he heard him rummaging around in the bedside table.

“Fuck,” Seungcheol swore, breaking the kiss to turn his head and look into the drawer to see for himself what his hand already knew. “ _Fuck_ ,” he swore again.

The drawer was empty.

Seungcheol usually made arrangements whenever they were coming to the hotel but since this had been a spur of the moment, non-sexy time visit Jeonghan wouldn’t have expected him to ask them to restock. He didn’t have anything in his backpack and he already knew that Seungcheol hadn’t had any on his person.

“I’ll be right back,” he said, pressing a kiss to Seungcheol’s frustration-creased brow before sliding off of him and heading to the bathroom.

He opened each of the counter drawers and checked the medicine cabinet, finding a surplus of OTC medication, soaps, gels, creams, towels, and robes for restocking, even loofahs but, unsurprisingly, no condoms or lube.

He paused for a moment, leaning against the wall to think, before grabbing the lotion and heading back into the bedroom.

He carelessly tossed it onto the bed before settling astride Seungcheol once more.

Seungcheol picked up the bottle, glancing at the label before his eyes glued onto Jeonghan’s, his expression growing serious.

“Are you sure?”

Jeonghan had never had unprotected sex before. Not with Minhyuk, definitely not with Jun, and Seungcheol had always been prepared for every occasion, whether they were at the hotel or elsewhere, so it had never been an issue.

But about a month prior, in this very hotel suite, while he was warm, sated and still catching his breath after a particularly lengthy bout of sex, Seungcheol had – rather shyly – presented him with an envelope from which he’d retrieved an HIV test.

Jeonghan didn’t know Seungcheol’s sexual history in detail but he knew enough about the man himself to trust him with his body and his health. Therefore, he’d never thought to ask for one. Hell, if anything Seungcheol should’ve been the one asking because he knew that Jeonghan had been intimate with Jun up until they’d started sleeping together and who knew where and with whom Jun had been. (Jeonghan did, unfortunately).

Needless to say, though speechless, he’d been incredibly touched by Seungcheol’s gift, which is what he considered it. And thinking about it presently, he felt that same warmth blooming in his chest once more. He trusted Seungcheol and on what had already proven to be a night of firsts for them, this was his way of showing it; a way of taking their relationship to another level.

“Yes,” he said softly, kissing Seungcheol on the lips before taking the lotion from him.

He uncapped the bottle and squirted a decent amount on his own fingers before dropping the bottle to the bed. He was thankful that while slick, the lotion wasn’t goopy or overly greasy. The good stuff, indeed.

He spread the lotion thoroughly on his fingers and, shifting so that his thighs were wider across Seungcheol’s lap, reached behind himself to gently prod at his entrance.

Seungcheol had never seen him finger himself before and as a matter of fact, it wasn’t something that he did very often on his own. When he wasn’t sexually involved with someone, a quick wank when he absolutely needed some release was more than sufficient. Jun attributed it to his laziness, like he did everything else, but the truth was that Jeonghan didn’t get much pleasure from touching himself and the payoff wasn’t big enough to go through all that effort.

He had one finger inside when Seungcheol finally reached for him, but instead of touching him, he unbelted Jeonghan’s robe and spread it open, baring Jeonghan’s body to his hungry gaze.

From his vantage point, Seungcheol couldn’t see Jeonghan’s fingers – two now – sliding in and out of him but his eyes were nonetheless glued to where he knew it was happening, where Jeonghan’s hips made small rotations as he sank his fingers deeper into himself on every down-shift.

The intense desire in his gaze made Jeonghan’s surprisingly hard cock ache.

 _Ahh, fuck it_ , he thought as he pulled his fingers free and reached for the lotion again.

He squirted a large amount in his palm and reached behind him for Seungcheol’s cock, stroking him hard and swift, his own cock jerking at Seungcheol’s almost pained grimace.

Tossing the lotion aside once more, he shifted his hips backward until he felt the blunt head of Seungcheol’s cock along his cleft. Positioning it at his entrance, he took a deep breath and slowly pushed down.

Jeonghan took him in as far as he could, which was only about halfway, before lifting off and starting over. This time, he took him down to the root.

He stilled, releasing his pent-up breath as he adjusted to the unaccustomed fullness. Seungcheol felt bigger than ever before from this angle. It literally felt like being impaled on a rod.

“Okay?” Seungcheol queried, trailing gentle fingers along his flank.

Jeonghan simply nodded, words escaping him as he focused on slowly grinding: keeping his movements small until he was comfortable enough for more.

He could tell from the look in Seungcheol’s eyes, the flare of his nostrils, the twitching of his fingers on Jeonghan’s hips that he was rearing to go. Only his concern for Jeonghan kept him patient; waiting for some sign that Jeonghan was good to go.

Nodding again, Jeonghan braced his hands on Seungcheol’s lower belly and started rocking back and forth.

In response, Seungcheol’s grip on his hips tightened and he thrust upward.

They took their time at first, Seungcheol meeting his slow thrusts with shallow ones of his own. Seungcheol was rock hard inside of him, however, and Jeonghan’s own erection, now that he had relaxed, was sticking straight out from his body, pre-cum leaking from his engorged tip onto Seungcheol’s stomach. So it was no surprise when, after a few more minutes, their control snapped and their pace quickened furiously.

Jeonghan bore down hard as Seungcheol thrust up to meet him, sliding his palms to Seungcheol’s pecs, nails digging in to ground him.

“You’re so...” Seungcheol grunted, breaking off to release his customary _fuck_.

 _So what?_ , Jeonghan wondered absently, a deep moan tearing from his throat as Seungcheol thrust up particularly hard, driving into his prostate.

He wasn’t in good enough shape to sustain that position for very long, his knees aching as he rode Seungcheol harder, but he couldn’t stop quite yet, couldn’t bring himself to pause for even a minute to change to something more comfortable. He was _so_ close.

Seungcheol raised a hand to his mouth, tracing his bottom lip with the pad of his thumb. When he tugged on it, Jeonghan parted his lips, sucking the digit when Seungcheol slipped it into his mouth.

_“Fuck.”_

Without warning, Seungcheol wrapped his arms around Jeonghan and sat up, forcing Jeonghan’s hips back so that his legs shifted behind Seungcheol.

Jeonghan gasped, arms automatically wrapping around Seungcheol as he held on. If Seungcheol felt deep before...

_“Fuck.”_

Seungcheol captured his lips in a bruising kiss, his tongue plundering Jeonghan’s mouth.

From this new position, they couldn’t do more than grind together. At least until Seungcheol gripped his ass firmly, cheeks spreading as he lifted him up a couple inches. Jeonghan broke the kiss, his breaths turning into hot little pants as Seungcheol hit his prostate again and again.

Seungcheol was only about fifteen pounds heavier than him but the realization of how strong he really was, the veins raising beneath his skin and muscles tensing in his arms as he supported Jeonghan’s weight and rolled his pelvis upward, had Jeonghan’s hole quivering. He’d never wanted Seungcheol more than in he did in that moment.

Arms like a vice around Seungcheol, his erection trapped between the hot slide of his flat stomach and Seungcheol’s abs, Jeonghan cried out and sank his teeth into Seungcheol’s shoulder. The last coherent thought he had before he came was that once again, Seungcheol had kept his promise.

His orgasm was one of the most intense he’d ever experienced, his entire body locking around Seungcheol as he keened with pleasure and spilled between them with erratic jerks.

He was boneless in Seungcheol’s hold, arms askew like a ragdoll and his face pressed into Seungcheol’s neck, when with one last deep thrust, Seungcheol finally came inside him. Seungcheol’s hips continued jerking upwards, as if on automatic, for sometime after before he eventually loosened his grip and fell back onto the bed, taking Jeonghan with him.

Jeonghan adjusted his legs so that they stretched out alongside Seungcheol, dislodging Seungcheol in the process.

Neither one said a thing or moved; the only sound in the room that of their shallow breathing. And only when Seungcheol started stroking his back did Jeonghan realize that he was still wearing his robe.

His body felt like liquid: insubstantial, yet his nerve-endings were overloaded with sensation from head to toe.

He was just slipping into unconsciousness when he felt Seungcheol’s lips feather across his forehead. It tickled but it also made him feel warm and cherished and he found himself burrowing closer.

After a while, Seungcheol’s hand started to wander, tugging the edge of the robe up to expose his backside to the chilly air of the room. Seungcheol’s hand on his skin was warm, however, so he didn’t mind. And he didn’t think too much of it when Seungcheol’s fingers slipped between his cheeks and gently prodded at his hole. He was still sensitive and he couldn’t quite suppress a shiver when an exploratory finger dipped inside but he was still slick from the lotion and Seungcheol’s seed so it wasn’t too uncomfortable.

When said finger started pushing into him at a rhythmic pace and he felt Seungcheol’s cock reawakening between them, however, Jeonghan released a long-suffering groan.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” he grunted.

“I’m sorry,” Seungcheol said, not sounding sorry at all as his finger circled Jeonghan’s rim before sinking in once more.

“Behave!” Jeonghan chastised, as sternly as he could manage without raising his head from its comfortable rest on Seungcheol’s shoulder.

With a lengthy sigh of his own, Seungcheol removed his hand, fixing Jeonghan’s robe so that it settled around them like a blanket, and pressed a hard kiss to Jeonghan’s head.

They stayed like that for a while, neither one moving or talking. Jeonghan dozed off from time to time; taking note of the shifting shadows on the walls and the way the room gradually became brighter.

The sun was up. They’d officially survived the night.

“Wonwoo must be so worried,” he said suddenly, startling himself with the sound of his own voice.

“Huh?” Seungcheol’s husky voice sounded confused before he seemed to catch himself, saying, “Oh, yeah. I guess so. I mean, Mingyu is his best friend. And they live together. I know I’d be pretty upset if anything happened to Jihoon.”

Jeonghan lifted his head, casting a disbelieving look at Seungcheol. _Is he being serious right now?_

Seungcheol could not be that oblivious. They didn’t go around making out or holding hands in public but there was no way he couldn’t know that there was more than friendship between the two. Even Chan seemed to know based on casual comments he’d made to Jeonghan over time.

When Seungcheol returned his look with a sincere one of his own, Jeonghan could only shake his head.

He’d save that conversation for another day, he decided, resting his head back against Seungcheol’s shoulder.

Not another word passed between them until Jeonghan once again broke the silence.

“I planned your funeral.”

“What?”

Seungcheol’s tone was sharper this time, his arm around Jeonghan tightening.

“Not in detail, per se, but... While I was waiting, I couldn’t help wondering what I would do if...if you didn’t come back. And knowing now what I didn’t know then, that was a real possibility.” He took a deep breath, releasing it slowly to clear the clog in his throat at the thought of what could have been. “I don’t know anything about raising teenagers or even if Chan would want to stay with me but I figured I’d better have a plan. I’d have to find a way to provide for the two of us, even if it meant going to my parents.”

Curving a hand around Jeonghan’s jaw, Seungcheol tugged his chin up until their eyes met. “You would do that?”

“Of course,” Jeonghan answered without hesitation. It was the truth, after all.

The best word he could think of to describe the look on Seungcheol’s face was awe.

“You’re amazing,” Seungcheol breathed.

Jeonghan couldn’t help flushing beneath the weight of Seungcheol’s praise. As far as he was concerned, it was simply the right thing to do.

“I’m so sorry.” Seungcheol’s eyes and tone were deeply apologetic and Jeonghan could feel it in the gentle stroking of thumb along his cheek. “I’ll never put you through anything like that ever again. I promise.”

Jeonghan believed him, as he believed everything Seungcheol said because he’d never met a more honest and honourable person. And that said a lot considering Seungcheol’s line of work.

The kiss that followed was sweet, soft and unhurried, deepening gradually. It felt like another one of Seungcheol’s promises and it shot straight to Jeonghan’s core, warming him from the inside out.

Seungcheol rolled them onto their sides, Jeonghan’s leg instinctively curving around Seungcheol’s hip as they moulded themselves to one another.

His hands swept through the thick strands of Seungcheol’s hair, tugging him closer as he took control of the kiss.

Jeonghan wasn’t surprised when he felt the head of Seungcheol’s cock nudging at his entrance, asking for permission, but this time he didn’t stop him. He knew that _he_ wouldn’t come again, twice was already a record for him, but he wanted to be with Seungcheol.

Jeonghan gasped into Seungcheol’s mouth when he breached him, his leg reflexively tightening around Seungcheol’s hip. Seungcheol didn’t seem to be in any hurry, content to simply have their bodies connected once more.

Seungcheol resumed the kiss after a time, lightly pecking and tugging at Jeonghan’s lip with his teeth before kissing him for real.

Growing up, Jeonghan had always thought that the idea of kissing was disgusting. Over the years, his opinion had obviously changed but with Seungcheol, it was something he actually looked forward to. Something he really enjoyed.

He was drowning in the kiss when the french doors opened, bringing them both to an abrupt halt.

They watched, horrified, as Chan wandered in and flopped down onto the bed beside them, completely unaware of their presence as he curled up and went back to sleep.

Unconsciously, Jeonghan shifted away from him, pushing Seungcheol onto his back once more, which ended up further impaling him on Seungcheol’s cock, eliciting a moan from him when unexpected tingles of pleasure shot up his spine. It didn’t help that Seungcheol immediately started thrusting shallowly, his hands falling to Jeonghan’s hips even as his eyes remained glued to his brother.

“No!” Jeonghan objected, slapping a restraining hand on Seungcheol’s chest and locking his knees around his hips to prevent movement.

“What?” Seungcheol asked feigning innocence.

Jeonghan gave him a withering look. “We are _not_ having sex in the same room – in the same _bed_ – as your brother. Your _teenaged_ brother, I might add.”

“He won’t know,” Seungcheol assured him, tightening his grip on Jeonghan’s hips as he squirmed a little. “He’ll be asleep for at least a couple more hours.”

“ _No_ ,” Jeonghan repeated firlmy, slapping Seungcheol’s chest again, this time hard enough to redden the skin.

“Ow, _fuck_ , okay!” Looking like a disgruntled child, Seungcheol sighed forlornly as he slipped out of Jeonghan’s tight heat and tugged him down by the shoulders, tucking him beneath his arm. “Since when did you get so violent?” he mused.

“If you only knew, buddy,” Jeonghan smiled to himself, playfully tweaking Seungcheol’s nipple before snuggling closer.

 

He must have fallen asleep at some point because when next he opened his eyes, Chan was sitting up against a pile of pillows beside him wrapped in a robe, hair still damp from a shower, the remote in his hand as he flipped through TV channels.

Jeonghan wasn’t sure what had awoken him but as Chan glanced down, he didn’t seem surprised to find him looking back at him.

“I’m hungry.”

“Okay,” he replied, throat dry and sand-papery. God, his mouth was foul. If had been too long since he’d last brushed his teeth. “Let me wake hyung up.”

Turning to his other side, Jeonghan found Seungcheol still asleep; one of his hands holding Jeonghan’s where it laid on top his chest.

Sliding his hand free from Seungcheol’s grip, he gently patted him on the chest, saying his name softly until his eyelids fluttered and opened.

“Chan’s awake,” Jeonghan said, getting straight to the point. It was doubly effective in making sure that Seungcheol didn’t get the wrong idea and try to initiate some hanky-panky in front of his innocent little brother.

Looking past Jeonghan, Seungcheol smiled at his brother. “Chan-ah.”

“Did everything go okay last night?”

Jeonghan was surprised at the seriousness in Chan’s voice, his expression unreadable as he waited for Seungcheol’s reply.

Seungcheol flashed a bright, reassuring smile. “It went great.”

Chan nodded to himself, his shoulders relaxing fractionally. Jeonghan couldn’t help wondering what he’d think when he found out that one of his favourite hyungs had been shot, assuming that Seungcheol told him the truth.

“I’m hungry,” Chan said again, this time to his brother.

As if on cue, Seungcheol’s stomach growled angrily.

Laughing, he said, “Apparently, so am I. Why don’t you go in the kitchen and look through the menu? I’ll be right there.”

Chan sprang off the bed like a shot, disappearing through the french doors in seconds.

“I promised to make him pancakes,” Jeonghan murmured unenthusiastically, sitting up. “I figured you could get hold of the ingredients with all your important connections.”

Seungcheol chuckled. “Maybe another time.”

Climbing out of the bed, in all of his naked glory, Seungcheol raised his arms above his head and rolled his shoulders, the skin over his abs stretching and displaying his muscles attractively. His cock was half-hard, flushed and jutted proudly out from his body. If Jeonghan wasn’t so spent, just the sight of him would make him crave something besides food.

“Why don’t you get the shower running and I’ll meet you there in a few minutes?” Seungcheol suggested. He waited for Jeonghan’s nod before grabbing his towel off the floor, wrapping it hastily around his waist, and going after his brother.

Jeonghan’s eyes feasted as they watched him go.

Sighing at the aches and twinges as he rolled off the bed – _“Exercise, you sloth!”_ Jun would say – a flush spread over Jeonghan’s entire body as he realized that his robe was the only thing that had saved Chan’s eyes from both his and Seungcheol’s nudity.

“ _Jesus_ ,” he muttered as he made his way to the bathroom. That was a close one.

Shedding the robe, he relieved his bladder before stepping beneath the warm spray of the shower, leaning his depleted body against the wall for support. He’d never been so well-used.

It wasn’t long before Seungcheol joined him but it took them at least a half hour to emerge from the bathroom.

Somehow, through no fault of his own of course, what Jeonghan had intended to be a simple shower had turned into Seungcheol blowing him, jerking himself off as he did so and then coming on Jeonghan’s stomach before bathing them both because Jeonghan’s limbs refused to support him afterwards.

When they joined Chan at the breakfast table, which was laden with far more food than the three of them could ever consume, Jeonghan’s face and neck were bright red. He could feel the bruised skin at the back of his neck stinging where Seungcheol had attached himself for a good five minutes but with his hair down, at least it didn’t show.

Chan gave him a curious look but thankfully didn’t comment.

A knock at the door drew their attention and Seungcheol went to answer it. Jeonghan didn’t see who it was but Seungcheol returned with a couple of bags bearing the name of one of the hotel’s clothing boutiques.

Seungcheol tossed the bags on the sofa with a breezy smile as he took a seat at the table.

Jeonghan stifled a sigh, ignoring the warm, fuzzy feelings the smile elicited. While he appreciated the change of clothing that he was sure awaited him within one of the bags, he had no doubt that it cost more than a couple months’ rent.

Pushing it out of his mind, he turned regarded the table and turned to Chan.

“Did you order everything on the menu?” he teased, reaching over to ruffle Chan’s hair.

Chan cheeks coloured adorably. “I wasn’t sure what you liked.”

“It all looks great,” Jeonghan assured him.

There were pancakes, waffles, eggs, bacon, toast, bagels and ham, rice and veggies, juice, coffee, tea, ice-cream... Wait, _ice-cream_?

Jeonghan gave Chan a pointed look but Chan only blushed deeper, shoving a large forkful of pancake smothered in strawberry sauce in his mouth.

Shaking his head, he grabbed a plate and started surveying his options. Sugar; so much sugar.

When two blueberry waffles landed on his plate, he looked up just in time to catch Seungcheol’s wink.

“You’ve earned it.”

Ignoring the heat he blossoming in his cheeks, Jeonghan grabbed the syrup and drizzled it over his waffles.

As he took his first bite – _yum_ – he watched the brothers stuff their faces in between teasing each other, a smile brimming with contentment curving his lips. He’d never seen them like that before, carefree and affectionate. His heart brimmed with his own affection for them.

For the first time in a long time, he felt a part of something that he hadn’t realized he’d been missing:

A family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I now hate the words "cock" and "hole" -_-


End file.
